Here's a little satire we found on YouTube depicting what would happen if President Bush asked Osama bin Laden to help save the GOP. Sure, the production value's kind of shitty, but it's quite timely. Also, if you look closely, you'll notice that Wolf Blitzer's just been named the sexiest man alive (he's quite virile, apparently).

Enjoy! (And vote…)

The stars were out at the London premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest on Monday. The usual suspects (Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom) were joined on the red carpet by the fugly (Kim Stewart, Mischa Barton, who we've spared you from sneering at) and some pleasant surprises (William Moseley, Daniel Dae Kim). But perhaps the biggest news came when Depp and producer Jerry Bruckheimer announced Keith Richards – yes, that Keith Richards – would make a cameo in the franchise's third installment, playing Jack Sparrow's father.

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Sexy actor Orlando Bloom may have a movie or something coming out soon, but the honest truth is that even if he doesn't, the man makes us weak in the knees. His turn as Legolas in Lord Of The Rings was the best thing to happen to blondes since Christopher Atkins in Blue Lagoon. And there are pictures of his butt crack all over the 'net right now. Go ahead, get your Google on.

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Barbie has taken a beating recently. Back in 2004 she split from Ken and since then she has watched her status as the top selling fashion doll edged out by the Bratz dolls. You know the Bratz dolls. They are the freaky dolls with the freakishly big heads. They’re basically Amanda Lepore dolls.

Well Barbie has seen the light of day and it appears the separation from Ken is ending. They’re back together. But as our reader Bill realizes, “Oh, dear. Ken and Barbie have reunited. The redesigned Ken is described as ‘Matthew McConaughey meets Orlando Bloom.’ How gay! He wears mesh shirts and cargo pants and has a ‘softer mouth.’ EEEEEEEK!”

Yep, it’s official: Barbie is a beard.

A Makeover of a Romance [NY Times]