Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.

"I thought my [outfit] was more grammatically correct for the occasion." — Sinsu, Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

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Of all this election season's ridiculous stories, one of the most memorable must be John McCain's ridiculous "celebrity" commercial campaign.

Hoping to diminish opponent Barack Obama's respectability, McCain portrayed the Senator as a tabloid idol on the same level as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. That tactic, like so many others, blew up in his face. Even Paris Hilton was making fun of him!

As sad as that may have been for McCain, the candidate had the right idea: rank-and-file Republicans aren't too keen on Hollywood, where it's all glittery and liberal. Stars and celebrities do not have American values, what with their headline grabbing divorces and bastard children. It's sick!

Well, none of those people will be surprised to hear that a number of Hollywood's elite have come out against Proposition 8, a ballot measure intent on overturning gay marriage in California.

Steven Spielberg and Brad Pitt - who has at least three illegitimate children - have both donated large sums of money to fight the measure. And now Pete Wentz - a gay-friendly singer who knocked up his girlfriend Ashley Simpson - dedicated his name and donated his dough to the good, gay fight. Though he hasn't specified a dollar amount, the singer did describe Proposition 8 as "fucking lame," a profanity social conservatives most likely frown upon.

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Paris Hilton, you just blew our collective mind.

For so long we've dismissed you as a vapid heiress with a sex tape. You proved us wrong today with this witty rebuttal to John McCain's anti-Obama celebrity ad, which featured you. This video not only helps you get some sweet revenge on McCain, whom you refer to as the "wrinkly white-haired guy," but you also offer an intriguing, sensible energy compromise. Very timely!

Well done, Ms. Hilton. Well done.

John McCain campaign manager Rick Davis - the man who began the Paris Hilton/Barack Obama comparison - today said that the Democratic presidential hopeful has been playing the proverbial race card:

"Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck," said Rick Davis, in a statement issued from the McCain campaign. "It's divisive, negative, shameful and wrong."

Yesterday in Missouri, Obama predicted McCain and the GOP would use racially-tinged attacks against him.

"What they're going to try to do is make you scared of me," Obama said. "You know, he doesn't look like all those other presidents on the dollar bills."

An Obama spokesman denied that the line about "dollar bills" was related to the Democrat's race.

Hmmm, we don't know if we believe that, but we do believe Davis is making a stretch with this "race card" comment. But, you know, that campaign's running scared after weeks of gaffes and lackluster press appearances. It must be sad for them.

John McCain attempted to smear Barack Obama yesterday by comparing the Senator's popularity to that of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

Poor MTV Party-loving McCain obviously didn't realize that he and Spears have similar political beliefs: trusting President George W. Bush.

Could the politician and pop star be sad, misguided soul mates? Our sources say "yes!"

What do Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have to do with Barack Obama? Nothing. Except for the fact that all three are famous, of course. But that's enough for John McCain and his commercial attack machine!

The Republican presidential candidate released this advert referencing the ladies to take on Obama's international celebrity, which, says the ominous narrator, shouldn't be confused with leadership. Basically, a it's a commercial for the brain dead.

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We're not really sure what to make of self-professed celebrity Jonny Makeup. Aside from a few snarky Gawker references, he's not big on our radar.

That may change as Makeup - the "heiress" of American Apparel - makes a play for wonky-eyed Paris Hilton's new MTV show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

We were curious about this specimen, who has also appeared on Tyra Banks' talk show, so we dispatched brave Queerty correspondent Megan Metzger have a bit of face time with Makeup. And, the way she tells it, Jonny's more than just a side show. In fact, she describes him as "one shrewd cookie."

Read the duo's dialogue and decide for yourself - after the jump…

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Former Paris Hilton handler headed to the heiress' birthday party this weekend sporting a lovely brown face. When asked about his fashion decision replied, "Any old schmuck can pull of black face, but can they successfully sport brown face? That takes really skill and leaership."*

Good god! Are the fashion and electoral worlds suddenly merging into one?! [Daily Mail via Jossip]

In case you're just some old schmuck, Mintz didn't really say that. He should have, though.

Here's even more grist for the Paris Hilton lesbian gossip mill: she went to a dyke bar!! So, by that logic, if we go to a straight bar, does that make us hetero?

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton turned heads at last week's The L-Word premiere. Fresh off her lesbianic appearance, gossip blog JJ's Dirt claims "a very close friend" of Hilton's confirmed the queer rumors:

In an exclusive interview, with a VERY close friend of Hilton's, I can confirm that Hilton has been sexually involved with Lindsay Lohan, Kimberly Stewart, Britney Spears and of course Nicole Lenz.

On top of Hilton's sexual history, it was confirmed to me that she still loves her drugs…Not naming anything in particular, just stating "the usual."

Meanwhile, Showtime's using Hilton's appearance as a marketing ploy. Actress chum Katherine Moennig describes herself and Paris as "two peas in a pod". Does she mean attention loving press mongers or dykes?

Paris Hilton hosted a party at PURE nightclub in Las Vegas this weekend. And, as you can see, Mr. Kevin Federline popped in to show his bloated, sickening face.

Yes, Cord Jefferson, this is hell.

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MSNBC newsman Keith Olbermann hosted a very special Countdown last night. Rather than counting down the days top news stories, the former sports reporter offered us a collection of his favorite "Oddball"moments (see example after the jump).

Before diving into the bizarre snatches of this human life, Olbermann offered this summation of the soon-to-be expired 2007:

2007 will be remembered as a year of dramatic contradictions. President Bush got a torrent of advice to leave Iraq, and decides instead to digs us in deeper. Bush sees his popularity plummet, while Al Gore wins an Oscar and a Noble Peace prize.

2007, also a year of scandal, from locked up Paris Hilton, to lock out Alberto Gonzales, as in never let him near the Justice Department ever again.

The year where Larry Craig’s toe-tap made headlines around the world. A scandal with such international import that German TV, the Germans were calling us to play our Larry Craig Dragnet spoof on their newscasts.

That’s what says it all about this bizarre year.

Yup.

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• Brooklyn lesbians calendar proves that New York's the most attractive city in America.

• Chicago's Fire Department calendar proves that New York's the most attractive city in America.

• Episcopal Church votes to "restrain" gay officiation, no official same-sex blessing.

• Senator Ted Kennedy comes out for ENDA hate crime legislation. Senate to vote Thursday.

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• Archbishop of Canterbury and the Anglican Communion's head honcho Rowan Williams to hold special "secret" communion with gay Anglicans. A church spokesman said,

It should come as no surprise that the Archbishop is meeting pastorally with clergy and others affected by the current debates in the Church. Such encounters extend across the Church and right across the range of opinions found within the Church. Few of these encounters ever reach the public domain. That is exactly as it should be.

Considering the state of disunion amongst Anglicans, we're sure Nigerian Archbishop Peter Akinola and his anti-gay brethren will use this against Williams, whom they view as too soft on the pufftas.

• Our favorite CNN journo, Jeanne Moos, takes on the Gays For Giuliani.

• Ireland gets steamy safe gay sex campaign.

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