Finally! After years of wondering and warring, we finally know which British prince the bent boys prefer:

More than a third those questioned expressed a desire for a romance with Harry while William received 23 per cent of the vote. A third of the single gay men said they would steer clear of both.

William's girlfriend Kate Middleton was named as the most lusted after royal date among the nation's lesbians.

The Prince Charming poll was conducted by dating website gay-PARSHIP.com and found that 23 per cent of lesbians wanted to date Miss Middleton compared with just 18 per cent who wanted to get close to [Harry's girlfriend] Chelsy Davy.

Well, now that that's settled…

Some enterprising army man - or woman - took somes snap of Prince Harry during his tour of duty in Afghanistan. Bless…

[via BBB]

OMG! That's Prince Harry and he's, like, totally shirtless! Squeal!!!

• Some extra aural for the long weekend. Here's Pacific Gas & Electric with "Are You Ready?"

• Larry Craig to announce plans tomorrow. We bet he resigns.

• Speaking of bets. What are the odds Suzanne Craig will pull a Dina Matos McGreevey and tell all?

CONTINUED »

• Elton John reportedly had a royal breakdown after Prince Harry and Prince William's Concert for Diana. The singer got into with a police officer who ordered him to walk to the VIP area, rather than drive. John allegedly screamed,

Get out of my fucking way. Don't you know who I am? I've been working all fucking day and I need to get to my fucking dressing room.

Obviously Sir Elton is no lady. Nor does he get special privilege: he eventually walked.

• Is Tori Spelling a heinous bitch?

• Anti-gay Movement for a Better Hungary plans on protesting this weekend's gay pride. Whee!

CONTINUED »

Prince Harry can't have everything he wants. The 22-year old royal insisted he be sent to fight in the Iraq War, but Army brass ain't having it. BBC reports that General Sir Richard Dannatt has nixed the plan due to threats against the would-be reconnaissance commander. Dannat said,

Following a visit to Iraq last week I discovered a number of threats relating directly to Prince Harry and those around him and I am not prepared to export those risks… I know Prince Harry will be extremely disappointed and his soldiers will miss his presence in Iraq.

Our hearts go out to you, Harry.

We understand how much the prospect of fighting the not-so-good fight meant to you. You'll most likely never be King, so this was an opportunity for you to really shine. Now, you'll just sink back into your life as a peaceful citizen. Or, you could go it alone and become a war vigilante. Better yet, you can form a rag-tag group of mercenaries with a clever name, like "The H-Team" or "Harry's Angels"! That would show the stupid army.

A reader sent us this link over from The Wow Report. It's being marketed as a picture of Prince Harry's erect willy, but we can't tell if it's in fact his enlarged member or if it's nothing more than an optical illusion.

So, reader, why don't you weigh in and let us know what you think. That is, if you care, which you know you do.

The Top 5 Reasons Queerty Is Oh-So-Envious Of The United Kingdom:

5) Their poufs can get married.

4) They had the original Queer As Folk, one of the most brilliantly-written (and successful) television programs in UK history; we just had the schlocky version on Showtime.

3) The UK is home to Dame Edna's Neighborhood Watch, the gayest, sexiest, most pointless game show in the history of Earth's existence. Please buy it on DVD.

2) George Michael is throwing a baby shower for his fair-weather friend, Geri Halliwell, in his London estate. Not that we could get in–damn those restraining orders!–but it's fun to dream.

…and the #1 reason we're jealous of the UK:

1) Prince Harry. A.k.a., "William who?", the best thing to happen to redheads since Rick Astley.

How we wish we had real-life royalty when alas, we only have Hilton Hotel heiresses. How we wish we knew how to parachute jump, so we could be the tandem instructors the next time. How we wish we could get a handful of…the area of his body we KNOW you looked at immediately.

• Harriett Miers has withdrawn her Supreme Court Justice nomination. Let's hope Bush's next pick has much better hair.

• A British army sergeant suspected cadet Prince Harry had the name of his girlfriend inked on his royal arse. So Harry was shouted an order: "drop your pants and show me your backside!" Funny enough, this was all part of a fantasy we had just two nights ago.

• Word is Siegfried abuses and drugs up his tiger-clawed boyfriend, Roy Horn. Roy has even resorted to concealing a secret cell phone and knife "to protect himself." Why didn't they incorporate this kind of material into their sleep-inducing Vegas show?

• A Pennsylvania student is being punished for writing that gays are "subhuman" on his blog. We're sure he meant superhuman.

•Mr. Star Jones, Al Reynolds, was left to suffer in a confined jail cell with other masculine convicts for 12 hours. 12 hours we say! And despite phone calls to his beard, um, wife, she never showed up at the police station. Star always did struck us the compassionate type.

• The anti-gay flyers showing up in Texas are great reading material. The line that reads queers "troll for homo sex at 'gay' bars" made us snort out or morning latte. It also left us wondering what goes on in all of those chaste "straight" watering holes. Bible reading and gospel singing? Um, no. (via Andy)