Joe Scarborough ain't the only one under fire this morning! Spandex-loving fitness guru Richard Simmons finds himself in homo-journo Brent Hartinger's sights for what Hartinger calls his "gay minstrel show," as exhibited in this Bridgestone commercial.

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• Out's February issue proves what we already knew: Richard Simmons is the queen of all queens.

• Lauren Williams hung out with Phylicia Rashad and the rest of the cast from the Debbie Allen Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and all we got was this incredible post!

• Hummer inspired by NYC-based fag rag HX? Wouldn't be the first time…

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A preemptive apology. You kids weren't so keen on our last Richard Simmons-related posting, so we know we're going into hostile territory. The situation, however, is very serious. All those years of jazzercise and short shorts short-circuited his imagination, so he can't think of a Halloween costume. It's all very tragic.

But, there's hope! People just like you can submit suggestions for Simmons' All Hallow's Eve costume. Pretty On The Outside suggested a synthesized super hero. Clever, but we're not sure we can dig that. We are, after all, thinking along frightful lines.

If you ask us, Simmons should go as a Baby Jesus Butt Plug (see below). It's got three benefits. One, it's original. Two, people will be scared shitless. (The idea of sticking baby Jesus up one's bum definitely qualifies as horrific.) Three: the Christian conservative would go absolutely, fantastically, fanatically nuts. Everyone wins!

BTW: this butt plug doesn't even look like Baby Jesus. It just looks like a baby. This thing looks like a vagina with a face.

Gay filmmaker, artist, author and general cultural icon John Waters can add a new gig to his resume: stand-up comic! In this clip on "limits," our friend Waters shoots the shit on murder, bears and their cum ("grizzum"), anal bleaching and Richard Simmons.

(Send Joe.My.God a "Thank you for the clip and mental scars" card.)