Eagle eyed paparrazi caught Robbie Williams trotting about Amsterdam with quite the beard - and an unidentified brunette.

As Daily Mail's happy to point out, the 33-year old singer's going a bit gray. While some may scoff at his aging, we think the former Take That singer still looks like a "Babe".

Despite reports to the contrary, David Beckham will not be guest starring on Desperate Housewives.

The super star soccer stud was rumored to appear on the ABC sudster with fellow Brit, Robbie Williams.

The equally attactive Eva Longoria put gossip to rest yesterday:

I talked to Victoria the other day. I told her about that rumour, she was laughing. David had a good laugh out of it. No, they are not coming on the show.

Never fear, queers: the hour-long drama will still be getting gay when Tuk Watkins and Kevin Rahm join as a same-sex couple.

Homo media watchdogs GLAAD released their first ever televisual comparison today, the Network Responsibility Index.

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Soccer star David Beckham may be branching into the wild world of acting. Marc Cherry has been kicking around the idea of hiring Becks and fellow Brit Robbie Williams for a stint on his hit soap, Desperate Housewives. Or so he says.

Discussing the show's new gay duo, Cherry suggested Becks and Robbie appear as the couple's queer friends.

David and Robbie are perfect to star as the new neighbours' best friends; the gorgeous, eccentric couple flown over from Blighty (Britain). We haven't had that kind of wow for the wives since Jesse Metcalfe left and we want it to cause such a stir when they turn out to be together. David's keen, but though the obvious choice was to work with Tom Cruise, we wanted someone who matches him in height and well, Britishness, so Robbie is the one. They're both funny, game for a laugh and ridiculously macho, so it should work wonderfully… The English are pitch-perfect for sending themselves up.

A singer and a soccer star are pitch perfect?

Oh, Cherry, you're a mad, mad genius!

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• Robbie Williams fancies himself a fucking rocking Christian. We fancy ourselves music critics: your song sucks, Robbie.

• Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher called a special legislative session to stop University of Kentucky and University of Louisville from adopting gay-friendly benefits:

Governor Fletcher wants to change state law to require all state agencies to offer health benefits to employees in ways that “adhere” to the Kentucky Constitution’s definition of marriage. Legislators who, like the governor, have strong support from social conservatives want to ban the University of Kentucky and the University of Louisville from offering any assistance to the unmarried partners of university employees. Both institutions moved in the past year to offer such benefits, which faculty leaders say are necessary to recruit top talent, but the benefits have infuriated powerful groups and politicians who identify themselves as pro-family but whose critics see them as anti-gay.

Who needs well-qualified teachers when you can have oppression and discrimination?

• Mr. Rogers got it wrong - you aren't special. In fact, you suck. And don't you forget it.

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• Introducing Holy Hail, the first-name only New York quartet hellbent on taking over your stereo. This here's their first single, "Born Of a Star". Check out their website.

• The 20 most rockin' moments in gay rock history!

• Barack Obama has something to say about Surgeon General nominee and noted homophobe, Dr. James Holsinger. And it ain't nice:

America’s top doctor should be a doctor for all Americans, and so I have serious reservations about nominating someone who would inject his own anti-gay ideology into critical decisions about the health and well-being of our nation," Obama said this morning. "As with other nominees, I will listen to the testimony of Dr. James Holsinger, but this Administration must know that the United States Surgeon General’s office is no place for bigotry or ideology that would trump sound science and good judgment.

Word. Fellow Democrat and presidential candidate Christopher Dodd also voiced his concern, "I fear that Dr. Holsinger's previous comments and actions will prevent him from representing each and every individual." Now, how long until Hillary Clinton says something?

• OMG! It's Los Angeles Pride!!!

• Robbie Williams gets sweaty.

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We know you guys love Robbie Williams (well, we do, at least), so we figured you may be interested to know that the British pop star has checked into rehab to combat his apparent proclivity for pill-popping. The Daily Mail reports:

[Williams'] spokesman said today, on the singer's 33rd birthday, that he is in a 'treatment centre in America for his dependency'… Last September his Asian tour was called off because of 'stress and exhaustion'. Williams, who is worth £90 million and now lives in Los Angeles, has admitted taking cocaine and drinking to cope with depression.

What? That's it? Who doesn't use drugs to cope with their depression. It's when you're not depressed and taking drugs that you're meant to go to rehab. Sheesh, they just don't make pop starts like they used to…

We're pretty sure we'll get some shit for this, but we don't care. Robbie Williams is red hot. He's always been red hot, and barring some horrible accident, he'll always be red hot. And, you know what, his music may be a little shaky, but he's got some hits. As for the gay rumors, well, we're pretty sure that's all publicity, which usually would piss us off. But, again, Robbie Williams is red hot. We want him inside of us.

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Robbie Williams has disappointed the entire United Kingdom by announcing he will not join his former bandmates Take That for their upcoming reunion tour. The rest of the planet was unaffected by the news, as only the British (and the occasional citizen in colonized territories, we presume) still care about Take That.

We are, however, excited about Robbie's upcoming dance album, a duet with the Pet Shop Boys, making the compilation the gayest event in music since the birth of Liza Minnelli. Both Robbie and The Boys have been stale as of late, and the compilation should bring them some new chutzpah. We hope Robbie will film the video in his underwear again. Alledgedly he's doing the compilation to appease his gay fans…after winning a libel lawsuit over a publishing company who claimed he is gay. So much effort over nothing. Whatever, we're glad he's mending fences, we get a new album out of it.

Robbie WIlliams Becomes Pet Shop Boy [FemaleFirst]

• Sec. of State Condi Rice is getting sued by an extrememly qualified candidate who got rejected in his application to become a foreign service officer solely because he is HIV+. A 20-year-old government forbids people living with HIV from serving in the State Department. [365 Gay]

• Furry heartthrob Robbie Williams is planning to record a dancepop album just for the gays under a different name. We hope that he takes his new assumed identity seriously and reaches out to the gays in more tangible ways. [Pink News]

• Anti-gay activists in Washington State are having trouble getting the 112,000+ signatures necessary to get an initiative on the November ballot to repeal the new statewide gay rights law. They sent out a desperate e-mail plea for signatures the other day that Democrats think could be political trickery. [Washington Blade]

• Circumcision could help prevent the spread of HIV, according to a new African study. The cells on the underside of the foreskin are an easy entry point for the virus, and circumcision may soon be recommended for all men in South Africa to try and stem the infection rate. [NY Times]

Queerty has exclusive and definitive proof that English pop sensation Robbie Williams is heterosexual. The definitive proof was gained in coincidence with Williams' winning settlements of up to one million $$$$$ from the cheese press in London, which outrageously asserted he is not a vagina-loving heterosexual.

For starters, we once saw Robbie Williams in the heat of passion with a female, and quite obviously not faking his enjoyment of the event. Don’t ask why we were peering through that window. Then you must consider that he sang Somethin’ Stupid as a duet with Nicole Kidman. Does Nicole look like a beard?

On his IMDB page, Williams is quoted as saying “When it comes down to it, I just like taking my pants down.” If you interviewed straight men on the street, 50% would also say they just like taking their pants down, and the other 50% would be lying. Gay men, on the other hand, would all admit that they just like taking their pants down (excepting of course those who just like lifting their skirts up). So spread the news, rather than your legs; Robbie Williams is as straight as Frankenstein’s monster.

• We spotted an Abercrombie-clad Jake Gyllenhaal at M Cafe in Hollywood yesterday lunching with a girl we think we can safely assume was only an assistant. Here's further proof that slender Jake really enjoys regular macrobiotioc meals.

• Robbie Williams takes the Tom Crusie course of action when accused of being a homo. Sue 'em. And win.

• AMERICAblog has unearthed some interesting info about the identities of two Ford officials who met with AFA last week to discuss pulling ads from gay publications. Ford insists its decision was purely a "business" decision. Well we're insisting our boycott is a "business" decision as well.

• France only allows artificial insemination for straights, so dykes in that country are running for the Belgian border in order to get shot up with man juice.

• Boston College has requested a school-sponsored dance lose its gay theme. We don't see why. The only students that show up to those things are fags and fag hags anyway.

• Adrian Grenier of Entourage fame was spotted at the gay bar Starlight buying drinks. "He said he was just there with a gay friend," reports a spy to the Daily News. His gay BOYfriend, perhaps?

• Robbie Williams shakes his pecker. Via Andy via Trent.

• Janet Jackson has an 18-year-old child who has been raised by sister Rebbie. Thank God Michael was not involved.

• A Jell-O version of San Francisco has been unveiled. Makes sense, you know, rainbow colored and fruity.

• Across the country lower class and middle class queens are outraged. Broadway shows top out at $110 a ticket.

• Liz Smith says the Roxy is closing next year. Across NYC The Gays weep. Thanks Brian.