Because we're all marginally interested in the ever-changing sexuality of recovering former Disney girl (read: out of control druggie nympho) Lindsay Lohan, we're sharing news that LiLo may not in fact be gay after having a spat with her girlfriend, DJ Sam Ronson.

Someone should tell her that having fights with your girlfriend is sort of what lesbians do. In this gripping account, complete with ironic air quotes, by News of the World's Dan Wooten, we learn that:

"It was during a heated bitch fight with DJ Sam this week that Lilo confided in me that the relationship wasn’t working out.

As her “girlfriend” glared at her from across the VIP area of London’ s Dolce club, LiLo leaned in and whispered to me: “Things are very difficult at the moment. I’m just trying to work out what to do.”

It followed angry Sam ordering burly security men to clear out the area near Lindsay after lots of guys started to flock around her.

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So, what do sleazy Hollywood dad Michael Lohan and sleazy Girls Gone Wild honcho Joe Francis have in common?

Well, yes, they're both sleazy - that's obvious - but there's more than just that: both men hate DJ Sam Ronson, Lindsay Lohan's lesbian girlfriend.

Mr. Lohan lashed out at Ronson earlier this year, calling her "hideous" and taking on her hygiene habits. Francis doesn't care about Ronson's cleanliness, but does have some less than kind words for the 31-year old, whom he describes as "very jealous:" "Samantha tried to start a fight with me. I care about Lindsay - she's not gay. She's being controlled by this…wretched woman, this Samantha."

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Lindsay Lohan's "lesbian" love affair with Sam Ronson dominates the cover of OK! magazine this week. And, of course, Lohan's "friends" have loads to say. The actress does not:

“This is the first healthy relationship Lindsay has ever had,” a pal of the Georgia Rule star tells OK!. “Both Lindsay and Samantha have total mutual respect and love for each other. All the nonsense Lindsay’s had in past relationships – the crazy fights, cheating and general immaturity – is totally absent. This is the real thing.”

While Lindsay's rep, Leslie Sloan Zelnick, asserts that “there was no confession" of a romantic relationship, close pals of the couple confirm that they are serious.

“Samantha and Lindsay have been ‘out’ to friends for a few months now,” a source close to the pair tells OK!.

The funny thing about this whole "friends" thing is that we haven't seen Lohan with anyone but Ronson for - well, a long time. Does this girl even know anyone else?

Realizing it had been a while since he last caused trouble, evil Hollywood father Michael Lohan last weekend wrote a letter again taking on his daughter Lindsay's lesbian girlfriend, Sam Ronson.

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Either Sam Ronson hates lesbians, or there's a lesbian out there looking to cause trouble.

Stacy "Deejay Stacy" Ledwith, a DJ at staple NYC lesbian bar Ruby Fruit, claims management had approached Lindsay Lohan-loving Ronson and asked her to perform at a charity event. Ronson allegedly agreed, but only if she got $8,000, airfare and hotel accommodations, all of which are standard fair for such an arrangement.

Ledwith claims Ronson agreed, but then pulled out after discovering Fruit's flaming tendencies. Says Ledwith: "She doesn't do gay and lesbian bars and clubs. I thought it was kind of strange considering she's a lesbian. It would have been really great to have her in there and help . . . It's really like betraying her sisters. It just doesn't make sense."

Ronson spokesman Brandon Phelps also says it doesn't make sense, because it never happened: "It is not true. I can tell you that I am the only one that runs her calendar and was never approached by Rubyfruit."

We're inclined to side with Phelps. Not because we're fans of Ronson - although, yes, we do have a bit of a girl crush - but because the celebrity DJ recently appeared at The Cock, a bar so gay you can smell it.

Alright, we said that Neil Patrick Harris and his boyfriend were the Emmy Awards' best queer couple, but Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson sure give them a run for their money. Look at them all cute-like at an after party. All together now: awwww!

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Gal pals Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson had a gay old time this weekend, first hitting up Ronson sister Charlotte's fashion show - and others - here in New York and then jetting to Los Angeles, where they attended MTV's Video Music Awards.

Oh, to be a young, famous lesbian! That's the life for us! (Although we'd appreciate more penis and less titty, but beggars can't be choosers…)

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