Attending the Oscars looks like the most boring thing in cinematic history. All that clapping, all that sitting, all those snooze worthy acceptance speeches for even more snooze-worthy categories (sound mixing?). If we're ever invited, we'll have to politely decline and see if we can worm our way into Elton John's Oscar viewing party.

Not only would our attendance help The Elton John AIDS Foundation, but we'd get to chill with the biggest hodge-podge of stars this side of the red carpet. Where else can you find Victoria Beckham and Kelly Osbourne mugging for the camera? No where. Well, maybe heaven. Or is it hell? We can't tell anymore.

See some more shots, after the jump…

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• Three out politicians were elected in Ohio last night. We thought that only happens in San Francisco.

• Texans approved a ban on gay marriage yesterday and in Maine the voters upheld a law giving protection from discrimination to homosexuals. We are thinking a fall foliage trip to Maine is in order.

• Bradford’s hometown of Baltimore needs a makeover. Somebody call Simon Doonan stat!

• London Terrace Towers in Chelsea has some new rules: "No one may touch or fondle [themselves or] another person in any part of the Pool or the Health Club facility.” Famous residents Annie Leibovitz and Debbie Harry are probably happy with the new policy. Matthew has yet to comment. Via Gawker.

• Sharon Osbourne says Madonna looks like an old hooker. She would know. Her daughter looks like a fat hooker.