The Sheik needs to keep it in his pants. His belt, that is. A Swiss court found Sheik Falah bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan guilty of "inflicting bodily harm" for whipping American Silvano Orsi with a belt in 2003.

You may recall that Al Nahyan, whose brother rules the United Arab Emirates, and Orsi first crossed paths in a hotel bar, where Al Nahyan sent him over a bottle of champagne.

Orsi, an American from Rochester, New York, refused the gift and Al Nahyan then came over, sat on his lap and fondled him. When the man resisted, the Sheik flew into a rage and began hitting him with his belt. The sheik, who claims he's innocent in the assault, but not the belt removal, will now have to pay 10,000 Swiss francs and Orsi's court costs.

The American described yesterday's ruling as a "landmark decision" and sent us the following message:

My barbaric opponent can now associate himself with all the other common criminals and delinquents that break the law, get convicted for it, and who do not understand the civilized concept of respecting an individual's human and civil rights.

Oris, who also holds an Italian passport, would now like the United States President and the Italian Prime Minister to pressure the UAE government to issue a full apology. That, we think, is not bloody likely.

We've included Orsi's other histrionic remarks, after the jump…

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