• After Elton covers the media coverage of Johnny Weir. [After Elton]

• That darn “homosexual agenda” is everywhere. This time it’s creeping into sex ed classes. [Christian Science Monitor]

• Dan Renzi’s readers caption Santino Rice. Good Stuff. [Dan Renzi]

• Further proof that God exists: Star Jones may be out at The View. [Yahoo]

• Renee Zellweger will kiss a woman in the upcoming Bridget Jones film. It’s not the first time. She was married to a girl for a while. [Yahoo News]

• Jude Law is playing gay onscreen. Again. We’re crossing our fingers that one day he'll see the light and convert to our side offscreen. [Pink News]

• Stephen King’s new novel Cell is supposed to be his first book with a gay hero. But we’ve always had our suspicions about the namesake in Carrie. That is if you consider a telekinetic murderess a hero. [After Elton]

• RIP queer Curious George collaborator Alan Shalleck who was found murdered in his trailer. [Miami Herald]

• Al Reynolds sings show tunes to Star Jones. No surprise there. [Gawker]

• Zulkey chats with drag king/lesbian/author Norah Vincent (whose book is most definitely on Al Reynolds’ nightstand) about what were the most difficult things about acting masculine. [Zulkey]

• We’re fashion queen, but Hedi Slimane’s obsession with malnourished twinks is something we find disturbing, not artful nor sexy. [Towleroad]

• Of course it’s time for more of Dan Renzi’s brother. [Dan Renzi]

• Even in 1990 Joan Rivers looked like a club kid. She fit right in. [WOW Report]

• The NY Daily News recently featured a few blogs and somehow seemed to leave out the fact that these sites (well Trent, Jared, and Perez) are Gay, Gay, Gay! [NY Daily News]

• Speaking of Perez, he found this great clip of Star Jones getting hit in the face with a football. Yup, it’s brilliant. [Perez Hilton]

A brave tipster sat through an entire episode of estrogen gab-fest The View and came back with this, shall we say, juicy tidbit and fired it off to Defamer.

10:43. I’m watching ‘The View’ for unknown reasons, and the ladies have a private investigator on. He’s selling an eighty dollar kit that allows you to find out if your spouse is cheating on you without hiring his services. He brings in blue gym shorts that were sent to him from a suspecting wife, and he’s going to ultraviolet test them on-air to determine if there are bodily fluids. The investigator finds a glowy spot and says, “Now you see that? That’s something that really shouldn’t be there.” Meredith says wait, hey, he can’t tell if it’s a woman’s bodily fluids or a man’s, though, and then Star jumps in. Direct quote: “Well there’s a huge difference between vaginal and seminal fluid. Seminal fluid I can handle if you’re my husband. Vaginal fluid…I got issues.”

Star, Star, Star. Some times you just need to be sat down and have your girlfriends tell it like it is. When it comes to your exfoliated and perfectly coifed man, Al, trust us, it ain’t the vaginal fluids you should have issues with. Unless of course you all have a “thing” all worked out and then in that case it’s none of our business. Just as long as Barbra Walters is not involved, we can stomach it.

STAR JONES’ STAIN DOUBLE STANDARD [Defamer]

• Rosie O’Donnell has partnered with Logo to develop a new sketch-comedy series featuring unknown up-and-comers. [New York Times]

• Star Jones is blogging now. Though it appears the comments have been taken down because of how vicious they were. [Shine Blog]

• Laurel Hester, the woman whose terminal cancer has embroiled her in a domestic partnership benefits controversy with the local government in Ocean County, New Jersey has found an ally in a straight, Bush-voting, man. They’re not all bad. [Big Gay Picture]

• Holy Shit! Avril Lavigne is, um, pretty. [A Socialite’s Life]

• Gay.com does the Caribbean and tells us which islands are gay-friendly and which aren't. [Gay.com]

• Those reliable pervs at Data Lounge have the scoop on what you'll see in Johnny Galacki's new off-Broadway play, The Little Dog Laughed. Let's just say it isn't little and you certainly won't be laughing. [Data Lounge]

• Kyle Lawson has been honorably discharged from the Army, transforming him from a queer soldier to a queer civilian. But his attacker remains in the military, still a gay-bashing soldier. [Arizona Daily Star]

• Star Jones and "husband" Al Reynolds have an “intoxicatingly sexual connection.” We’re just going to leave that one alone. [NY Daily News]

&bull Poor Anne Heche. It’s bad enough she has to deal with a homophobic mother, but she now has to mourn the loss of her sister. RIP Susan Bergman. [Dallas Voice]

• Bizarro cartoonist Dan Piraro apologizes for unintentionally creating an anti-gay cartoon this past weekend. He didn’t, however, apologize for its failure to really make anyone laugh. [WFAA]

Joan Rivers is still the hardest working and funniest comedian in the biz today. And the gays love her. She is performing Wednesdays at the Cutting Room to a very gay crowd from November 9-December 21. Recently the grand dame of comedy chatted with Bradford Shellhammer, dishing on Star Jones, Liz Taylor, and the Olsen Twins.

We just saw the last Nip/Tuck and screamed like sissies when we saw you as a guest. How did you get involved in the show and what do you think of it?
Plastic surgery is my life. I just gave my parrot a beak job. Please write and e-mail Nip/Tuck and tell them you want to see more of me.

You are a huge gay icon. I think mostly because of your direct nature and honesty. Did you intentionally seek out support of the gay community? If not, why do you think we love you so much?
I don't know why gays love me because I hate them. Who are you people and do your mothers know what you do!?! I am all for gay marriage, though. Why should only straights suffer the misery of divorce.

Recently, we saw an old Saturday Night Live that you hosted in the 1980s. You were sooooo mean to Liz Taylor. And soooo funny. Do you have any current Liz jokes you can share?
Since she started working so hard for AIDS with amfAR I've taken all of the jokes about that fat, old drunk out of my act. Besides, since she is almost at death's door, I'm hoping to be mentioned in that liquor stained will.

Who would win in a fist fight, Kathy Griffin or Margaret Cho?
I'm much more interested in which Williams sister would win.

Tell us about your Cutting Room shows. What can our readers expect to see?
If I show up to perform at the Cutting Room, you'll probably get a pretty mediocre show as I am getting quite old and tend to repeat jokes 2 or 3 times. If you do come, bring rubber gloves as Chlamydia is rampant. Also be warned that most employees at the Cutting Room are dyslexics and wash their hands before entering the restroom.

After the jump Joan explains how a gay man can get away with wearing a necklace, the absolute worst red carpet outfit, and why she hates blogs, oops, we mean clogs.

CONTINUED »

• Harriett Miers has withdrawn her Supreme Court Justice nomination. Let's hope Bush's next pick has much better hair.

• A British army sergeant suspected cadet Prince Harry had the name of his girlfriend inked on his royal arse. So Harry was shouted an order: "drop your pants and show me your backside!" Funny enough, this was all part of a fantasy we had just two nights ago.

• Word is Siegfried abuses and drugs up his tiger-clawed boyfriend, Roy Horn. Roy has even resorted to concealing a secret cell phone and knife "to protect himself." Why didn't they incorporate this kind of material into their sleep-inducing Vegas show?

• A Pennsylvania student is being punished for writing that gays are "subhuman" on his blog. We're sure he meant superhuman.

•Mr. Star Jones, Al Reynolds, was left to suffer in a confined jail cell with other masculine convicts for 12 hours. 12 hours we say! And despite phone calls to his beard, um, wife, she never showed up at the police station. Star always did struck us the compassionate type.

• The anti-gay flyers showing up in Texas are great reading material. The line that reads queers "troll for homo sex at 'gay' bars" made us snort out or morning latte. It also left us wondering what goes on in all of those chaste "straight" watering holes. Bible reading and gospel singing? Um, no. (via Andy)

The Village Voice celebrates its 50th year next week. This is also Michael Musto’s 20th year at the Voice. Those are two major milestones. Musto’s column, La Dolce Musto, is legendary. But you already know that. Michael took some time out of his party schedule to talk with us about his 20 years at the Voice, Madonna, and Star Jones.

You are celebrating your 20th year with the Voice. What has been your biggest accomplishment?
I pioneered snark and was openly gay way before that was cool. I stuck to my guns and kept afloat and now I'm probably not snarky or gay enough!

Which celebrity has been the sweetest? The biggest bitch?
Ninety nine percent of celebrities are actually quite decent. It's there publicists that should burn in hell. I have a soft spot for Parker Posey, who's always radiant. As for the biggest bitch, Boy George once gave me attitude at my own party. (He was mad about something I wrote about Taboo.) He bristles a lot, though he's basically soft and lovable way, way deep down.

We adore trannies as much as you. If you had to name the number one tranny in NYC, who would it be?
Ivana Trump.

I give you 1 Million dollars. What would you buy?
My apartment.

After the jump: Michael talks about Madonna and the Roxy, Gawker, and Star Jones.

CONTINUED »

•Star Jones Reynolds is donating the Barney inspired dress off her back to victims of Hurricane Katrina. That is enough velvet to make a tent the size of the Superdome.

•Gawker has found us a new apartment. 10 gay men. Two bathrooms. Um, no.

•Jerry Springer - the Opera, which has a homosexual Jesus Christ as a character, will go on with a 21 city UK tour. Someone bring it to the US please.

•The ex-gay movement is continuing to pick up momentum. This time in the penguin community.

•Canada Hearts Queerty.

• LeToya Luckett was our favorite Destiny’s Child singer back in the day. You know, before Beyonce got all threatened and had her dad send out pink slips. Well, LeToya is finally releasing an album. And it is actually on a major label!

•Elijah Wood thinks it’s funny that people think he’s gay. He even names the site Elijah Wood is Very Very Gay as funny ha, not funny ha ha. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, we present exhibit A.

•Chastity Bono and Bruce Vilanch are joining the latest installment of VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, a.k.a. Watching Fat People Weigh Themselves on TV. The person seated below Bruce on Hollywood Squares is now breathing a sigh of relief.

•It seems the rumors are false. Lesbians aren’t as relationship savvy as we thought they were. Turns out they need pathetic self-help books just like the rest of us.

•Katrina is now affecting the transgendered community. Two tranny survivors were arrested for using the women’s shower at an evacuee shelter. I’m sure the bigger catastrophe was the clashing of their handcuffs and stilettos.

•There is a God. Both Kathy Griffin and Queer Eye guy Carson Kressley will be working the red carpet at this weekend’s Emmys. No word on what host Star Jones will be wearing, or how many babies she’ll devour beforehand.