Of all the rumors in Hollywood, Will Smith's love of men remains one of the most pervasive.

We've been hearing for years that the super star and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, both go for the same-sex. It came as no surprise, then, to hear that Smith, who's been palling around with Tom Cruise and his anti-gay Scientologists, has spent some time with male prostitutes in the past. From the ever-vigilant Ian Halperin:

According to a notorious Hollywood Madame, Smith was a client of hers for years before she packed up shop and moved her operation to Manhattan earlier this year. She remembers the first time she ever spoke with Smith. “I had to reassure him over and over that I could guarantee discretion,” she said. “Once I convinced him I could, he placed his order. It was for a man. I had 14 women working for me and two guys. You’d be surprised at how many Hollywood stars requested the services of the guys.”

If that's true, then those boys must make serious bank. With such a demand for young lovelies, why didn't the madame get some new stock. That's what we would do - you know, if we were pimps and all.

As for this madame's promise for discretion - apparently not.

Here's something Tom Cruise won't be watching in the near future: filmmaker Ian Halperin's His Highness Hollywood.

You may recall Halperin's name from his book, Hollywood Undercover, in which he infiltrates Scientology to expose the group's anti-gay agenda. Highness takes that mission one step further to explore the trials and tribulations of being a gay actor in Hollywood.

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Legendarily straight Tom Cruise apparently can't even handle being mentioned in a gay book! Former Village Person Randy Jones' new biography included an eighties-era anecdote involving him and Tom, but the actor's people had it removed. How queer.

"Tom and I had the same management company at the time," Jones told me at the new Bowery hot spot Antik. "I met him at a party Andy Warhol threw for Peter Gatien's Limelight [nightclub offshoot] in Atlanta."

To hear Jones tell the story, it was quite a party. But after calls went out to a spokeswoman and attorney for the Mission: Impossible star yesterday, the book's editor assured me that Cruise's name had been removed from the final version.

Great, now we're forced to use our imagination!

Madonna and Gucci teamed up last night to raise controversial moolah for UNICEF and African nation Malawi. And, as you can see, all the big names were there. While we weren't in attendance (our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail), our sources tell us everyone had a gay old time. Except for Gwyneth Paltrow, whose silk bow reportedly tried to decapitate the actress.

Function over form?

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• From "Abigail's X-Rated Teen Diary": "Vote John McCain, but do it quickly! He could be dead tomorrow."

• Amy Winehouse dragged to rehab after crack video. And her hair's black again!

&bull: Some enterprising schmuck has posted a Brokeback Mountain oil painting on eBay. Bid: $2,500. That's gross. And the painting's ugly.

• New research shows that same-sex couples "are just as committed in their relationships as heterosexuals and the legal status of their union doesn't impact their happiness". Because we're so gay!

• Police dispatcher behind teenaged swim team porn site pics.

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The Scientological shit keeps flying!

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A reader sent us this video of regular Joes sticking it to Mr. Tom Cruise.

And, yes, more than a few people mention his dubious sexuality - one woman insists that Cruise practices Scientology's deep commitment to racial equality: "He sucks black cock, he sucks Indian cock…"

Stars really are just like us!

Meanwhile, in other Cruise-tastic news, the kids over at Gawker features an uproarious video: Tom Cruise On Tom Cruise, Gay.

It's raining Scientology books!

First came Andrew Morton's Tom Cruise tell-all, now author Ian Halperin turns his attention to the out-of-this-world religion. Hollywood Undercover chronicles Halperin's adventures as a "gay actor" trying to join the church, which he says promised to cure him of his homosexuality. From the peppy press release:

In Hollywood Undercover, New York Times bestselling author Ian Halperin poses as a gay actor to infiltrate the Church, which has long been rumoured to promise a “cure” for homosexuality.
…
In Halperin’s rollicking first-hand account — where he seeks the Church’s advice about how to become a movie star — he recounts his bizarre tour of the Scientology Celebrity Centre on Hollywood Boulevard and his visit to world headquarters where a Church cameraman documents his every move from behind a bush, and where an official offers to turn him straight through a series of courses called “auditing.”

Halperin also tracked down former Scientologist Michael Pattinson, who left the religion after eighteen years.

There's so much more after the jump…

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• Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and his - um, charming - family took this picture when the politico was Arkansas' governor. Ain't it sweet?

• Ryan White's mother talks more about talking to Mike Huckabee.

• What's wrong with Tom Cruise?

• The heat is on at La Mama!

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Despite years of denials, In Touch decided to stoke the fires of Tom Cruise's dubious sexuality. Rather than relying on the actor's heterosexual claims, however, the tab-rag decided to take the word of a former porn star. Via Popnography:

Though Tom's camp has repeatedly denied the talk, it has persisted over the years, with two men even claiming to have had affairs with him — tales which Tom was willing to challenge in a court of law. Now, after conducting an extensive investigation of the gay rumors, porn star-turned-private investigator Paul Barresi is speaking to In Touch about his findings. "Everything I've found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual," Paul tells In Touch.

Barresi claim to have spoken with two men who claimed to have bedded Cruise. One man, says Barresi, came clean, while the other demanded cash money. The PI goes on to speculate that the rumors came from disgruntled Scientologists: "I believe the rumors about Tom being gay come from his detractors-most of whom are former Scientologists… He is the biggest target.” We're still not convinced.

• We don't know how long this witch montage took, but pointy hats off to the creator! Oh, and great Eartha Kitt song!

• Chris Crocker wants to be Britney Spears: crotch flashing and all. Warning, this shit ain't cute. Nor is it safe for work.

• Cuban queers form rights group.

• This is fucked up! The Federal Emergency Management Agency (aka FEMA) held a fake press conference about the California fires. Again, fucked up.

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