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Blogger Jon Swift just sent us an email with a link to an article he claims a reader had sent him in response to his piece, the explosively entitled, "Tim Hardaway Makes Homophobia Look Bad". Obviously we read that piece before checking out the aforementioned link, so let's take a few seconds to work it over.

First and foremost, it's worth mentioning that Swift describes himself as "reasonable conservative" whose only news comes from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Jay Leno. He must have gotten his lines crossed, though, because in this particular piece, he references CNN's Wolf Blitzer. While covering the Tim Hardaway scandal, Wolfe apparently likened queers in the locker room to queers in the military. Like any good conservative sports fan, Swift took the ball and ran.

CONTINUED »


Via our friends over at Good As You, here's that video of Vice President Dick Cheney resisting the urge to go for Wolf Blitzer's jugular.

We have to say, we're a little disappointed in Blitzer's fall back - we expected more, Wolfie, we expected more…

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Get excited, it's a meeting of the minds when Vice-President Dick Cheney appears on today's rousing edition of CNN's The Situation Room with the one, the oddly sexy, Wolf Blitzer!

In addition to discussing yesterday's snooze-worthy (right, John McCain) State of the Union, Blitzer apparently tries to get all girl talk on Cheney and asked about his pregnant lesbian daughter, Mary. Here's some of the transcript, courtesy The Drudge Report:

WB: Your daughter Mary, she's pregnant. All of us are happy. She's going to have a baby. You're going to have another grandchild. Some of the - some critics, though, are suggesting, for example, a statement from someone representing Focus on the Family:

Mary Cheney's pregnancy raises the question of what's best for children. Just because it's possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father, doesn't mean it's best for the child.

Do you want to respond to that?

DC: No, I don't.

WB: She's obviously a good daughter -

DC: I'm delighted - I'm delighted I'm about to have a sixth grandchild, Wolf, and obviously think the world of both of my daughters and all of my grandchildren. And I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question.

WB: I think all of us appreciate -

DC: I think you're out of -I think you're out of line with that question.

Blitzer's lucky to have come out alive.


Here's a little satire we found on YouTube depicting what would happen if President Bush asked Osama bin Laden to help save the GOP. Sure, the production value's kind of shitty, but it's quite timely. Also, if you look closely, you'll notice that Wolf Blitzer's just been named the sexiest man alive (he's quite virile, apparently).

Enjoy! (And vote…)

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Okay, so homophobic Pastor Ted Haggard (pictured) hasn't technically admitted to having slept with wiley hooker, Mike Jones, but the fact that he's stepped down as President of the National Association of Evangelicals and run off for "spiritual guidance" doesn't look good.

For those of you not up to date, this story first broke Tuesday when Jones - who had actually spoken with reporters two months ago - said he had a three-year affair with the politically connected preacher man. Haggard, of course, insisted no such thing ever happened: he's a good Christian, after all, and spouts homo-hatred left and right in his pursuit of heaven on Earth, a heaven in which gays will never get the chance to marry. Maintaining his heterosexuality, Haggard questions whether or not Jones' allegations are mere political chicanery:

I don't know if this is election year politics or if this has to do with the marriage amendment or what it is, but I'm not even the guy who will investigate it or question it. I don't know what the dynamics are, but this independent group will come in and do that.

That "independent group", of course, would consist of members from Haggard's 14,000-strong New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

As the day went on and prominent Evangelicals, such as Focus on the Family's James Dobson, came out in support of Haggard, Jones dropped another bomb shell: he has evidential voice mails and a letter from Haggard. What's more, Jones claims to have seen Haggard use meth.

Cue the getaway car.

Of course, Haggard insists he stepped down for the good of his church-run investigation:

I am voluntarily stepping aside from leadership so that the overseer process can be allowed to proceed with integrity," he said. "I hope to be able to discuss this matter in more detail at a later date. In the interim, I will seek both spiritual advice and guidance.

"Spiritual advice and guidance" means either "harsh defagification" or "pull a Mark Foley and hide until after the election".

Ahh, yes, the election. As we mentioned, Haggard's exceedingly well-connected and has been described as one of the most powerful religious leaders in America. How could he not? As of yesterday he commanded 30 million Evangelicals, an organization known for its virulent homophobia and anti-gay marriage politics. It's also the religious group President Bush calls his own.

As the story developed, CNN's Wolf Blitzer called on everyone's favorite homo-journo-politico, Andrew Sullivan to weigh in on the matter. (Not incidentally, Sulivan's blog comes to us via Time Magazine, which is owned by CNN's parent company, Time Warner.)

Undoubtedly a bright man, Sullivan brought up the fact that Evangelicals - who once toed the Republican party line as if their lives depended on it - have been turning away from politics. MSNBC concurs:

The number of conservative Christians with a favorable view of the party has plummeted from 74 percent to 54 percent between 2004 and this year, according to the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press. Evangelicals comprise more than one-third of GOP voters.

Rather than aligning whole-heartedly with the GOP, Sullivan says, many Evangelicals will "pray on it" to determine a new political route. No doubt the fact that their leader sucks cock will confuse their decision-making prayers.

While many think the Evangelicals will vote for the GOP, even if only for lack of options, we can't help but think that thousands may turn away entirely. As if the string of corruption scandals weren't enough, they've had to deal with the entire Mark Foley mess, and now their leader - the man to whom they turned for religious, political and social guidance - may be a big, fat liar.

This is more than a test of faith. This is a test of personal will - is someone willing to follow a debunked myth or does a new path come calling? Obviously there's no cut and dry answer to this matter, but it sure as hell's going to cause some major trouble.

In our opinion, Jones's probably telling the truth. Of course, the timing's mighty fishy and we suspect someone paid him to keep the story under wraps until closer to the election. Who that person may be, however, remains a mystery.

Previously: I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Hooker"



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