There are some coming out stories that’ll make your cry. Some might make you laugh, or wince, or beam with joy. In short — everyone’s story is uniquely their own, and often times, coming out induces every reaction mentioned and more.
Like, for instance, when Reddit user mnotaseese79 (real name Brett) inadvertently came out to his conservative father via Snapchat on the eve of his 20th birthday.
Related: Guy Comes Out As “Heteroflexible” To His Girlfriend. It Doesn’t Go Well.
“I had called myself a faggot in my snapchat story when I was drunk and one of my siblings must have showed him,” Brett explains.
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But instead of the cliche testosterone-fueled homophobia we’re braced to expect in these types of situations, Brett’s dad sent him these texts:
“It’s certainly better than dad saying ‘I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore’, which is what mine said,” wrote one commenter.
It’s vital to share stories like Brett’s in hopes that his father’s message of acceptance finds a way to travel alongside the viral photo, making sure we’re working towards a future where Brett’s experience is the norm and the all-too-common struggle of the commenter becomes the rarity.
Related: All Hell Breaks Loose After Gay Kentucky Teen Comes Out During Basketball Game
Another commenter, BalooUriza, shared a similar experience. He accidentally sent his father a picture of him in a “fursuit” with his boyfriend at Tulsa Pride. His dad waited until his son’s phone location didn’t say “work” to “call and say we make a cute couple.” Now the whole family, including the boyfriend, are planning a trip.
To Brett, BalooUriza and anyone else who musters the courage to stick with their truth and brace for the consequences, we say congrats!
Kangol
This is great. I just wish conservative parents wouldn’t only be accepting of their own children, but of the majority of LGBTIQ people.
Their support of conservative, hom0phobic politicians and policies has made our lives extremely difficult, and is leading to the deaths of so many of us.
AtticusBennett
@Kangol: exactly.
this is similar to the uphill-battle that Republican Rob Portman faces; Portman’s son comes out. two years later Portman decided to publicly-support the freedom for gay couples to marry. Portman talks about how his pro-marriage-equality stance puts him “at odds with the rest of his party” – Portman does NOT comment about how his party’s platform puts his on, and EVERY OTHER LGBT PERSON, at odds with having a prosperous, safe and happy life in America.
and the uphill battle? Portman will have to get his fellow Republicans to do what he himself COULD NOT DO – give a damn about someone else’s kid. because he never cared. “oh, sh*t. i’ve been working against gay people my entire career. turns out my son is a homo! well, i better stop being so anti-gay now. because i’ve never once stopped to think that there are actually children being negatively affected by the hatred and discrimination i’ve promoted and supported for decades…”
and that’s what’s happened – nothing. “hey, so fellow republicans, can we care about other people’s kids?”
the answer is a resounding NO
Kangol – you are SPOT ON.
Great! you support your son! now how about the rest of the extended communities, eh?
William Mc Gregor
Ya accidental outings are nerve wracking! Mine involved my copy of the VHS STAR WARS Trilogy and an accidental placement of a porno in the Return of the Jedi jacket! That I had given to my father. It turned out they already knew as most parents of Gay kids do and were very supportive!
SteveDenver
ACCEPTANCE is something many people seek for their lifetime.
How wonderful of this father to express such warm acceptance of his son.
lauraspencer
Not sure where the “conservative” adjective comes in relation to the father. Seems like he was pretty open minded and supportive. Plenty of conservative people love their children and accept them. My parents are very conservative and they accepted me. The word is used in this story as if it would cause an issue and it did not.
GayEGO
What a wonderful response from a dad to a gay son. My dad passed away before I could tell him, I was 50 when I told the rest of my family.
silveroracle
I was lucky enough to have a father who was okay about it.
My sister never told him about her as she thought that two in the family would be two much.
I think he knew!
martinbakman
@lauraspencer: So true.
Conservative parents are as capable of unconditional love for their children as anyone else, e.g. Mathew Vines’ father.
Alistair Wiseman
@lauraspencer:
You stated, “Plenty of conservative people love their children and accept them. My parents are very conservative and they accepted me.”
Wait a minute! But Mr. Rainbows (Atticus Bennett) says families like yours, their father hates them and they come from shitty families. Hmmm…how can that be?
Alan David Smith
both my sister and i were the only child to our respactive dads. but the truth is my dad wanted grand babies. that has qlways been the 1 thing that bothered him. and since he was a only child its a bit tougher. but my dad get’s that it’s not about him. and he loves me. and ribs me.(how can you be gay your such a slob). having a loving caring and crazy family. was a great thing for me.
Giancarlo85
Some conservatives may be capable of loving their children as much as liberal parents, but more conservative parents than liberal parents do not. Far many more. And many kids end up on the street because of Bible thumping right wing parents who put their religious and political beliefs over their own children. It doesn’t surprise me this point went over the heads of our usual right wing trolls.
AtticusBennett
@Giancarlo85: which is why “i’m really scared to come out to my parents, they’re so liberal!” is something no gay person has said. ever.
we applaud a conservative parent for doing what liberal parents just DO, without wanting or expecting applause.
ingyaom
I’m not sure I follow this story – Son (Brett) drunk SnapChat’s that he’s a “f@g”, Brett’s bro sees it and goes: “Hey, Dad, Brett’s a f@g!” and Dad says: “Hey, that’s great!” Is that what happened here?
youarekiddingme
@Alistair Wiseman: Alistair, you’re at it again aren’t you? Do you know what the word “conservative” means? It actually can have NOTHING to do with political affiliation. It also doesn’t necessarily refer to religious affiliation. It simply means the person or family holds to tradional attitudes and values. It can also mean that they are cautious about change. So, a conservative person/family is one that holds to what they believe are “tradional values.” Depending on the age of the person/parents, that usually doesn’t include homosexuality. If you recall (or maybe you don’t), Homosexuality was only removed from the DSM as a Mental Disorder in 1973. That would be considered “change.”
Soooo if you can’t read between the lines (as you often can’t), I will spell it out for you…Being “conservative” doesn’t = coming from “shitty” families. It’s more like they hold tradional values (based on the era from which they are raised) and they are “cautious” about change (not REFUSE to change). Get it?
scotty
so when i came out to my dad, he sed his wife and he knew for the last ten years or so. we just wanted you to be happy they said. he passed away shortly after that conversation but i sure wish they had let me in on the fact they knew or maybe i could have had a better 10 years with my family than 10 years without cause i was hiding it from them ( and them only). that is one of a long list of regrets. can i just get a do-over?