Comments on: TELL QUEERTY: How Are You Spending Thanksgiving? http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/ Free of an agenda. Except that gay one. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:57:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ryan http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-240545 Ryan Thu, 26 Nov 2009 06:22:19 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-240545 Dinner with the boyfriend, and a bunch of our expat friends here in London. Turkey is currently defrosting in the shower.. ahh good times. now to just go and finish cooking everything else. Dinner with the boyfriend, and a bunch of our expat friends here in London. Turkey is currently defrosting in the shower.. ahh good times. now to just go and finish cooking everything else.

]]> By: Stenar http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-240369 Stenar Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:13:07 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-240369 The whole family is coming over to my and my partner's house for Thanksgiving dinner. The whole family is coming over to my and my partner’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.

]]> By: DarkKnight http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-240114 DarkKnight Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:30:33 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-240114 For years my partner and I have hosted an "orphan's" dinner at our place. We pretty much make everything - which leads to an argument or two! - but somehow it's always worked. The best have been when too many people showed up - the table somehow always expanded and the dinner was even better. (of course, guests who brought sides/dessert were never turned away.) This is our first year as guests at another "orphans" dinner. And yes, nearly everyone (but not entirely) is gay. Thanksgiving is for spending with the family. My partner and closest friends are my family, and we're never apart at this time, somehow. We've had new bfs, re-kindled bfs, kids, dogs, birds; dishes that worked it, and sides that should have been sidelined. It's our favorite holiday - the most...organic? - and it's always a great time. Oh, and my partner insists on re-staging a "Kennedy-esque" holiday with football in the street. Love that. However you mark the holiday, I wish you all to be with your family - and you know who that is. Be together. And love from our table to all yours. -dk For years my partner and I have hosted an “orphan’s” dinner at our place. We pretty much make everything – which leads to an argument or two! – but somehow it’s always worked. The best have been when too many people showed up – the table somehow always expanded and the dinner was even better. (of course, guests who brought sides/dessert were never turned away.)
This is our first year as guests at another “orphans” dinner. And yes, nearly everyone (but not entirely) is gay.
Thanksgiving is for spending with the family. My partner and closest friends are my family, and we’re never apart at this time, somehow.
We’ve had new bfs, re-kindled bfs, kids, dogs, birds; dishes that worked it, and sides that should have been sidelined. It’s our favorite holiday – the most…organic? – and it’s always a great time.
Oh, and my partner insists on re-staging a “Kennedy-esque” holiday with football in the street. Love that.
However you mark the holiday, I wish you all to be with your family – and you know who that is.
Be together. And love from our table to all yours.
-dk

]]> By: Republican http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239891 Republican Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:04:50 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239891 Joe, Same here, man, same here. I'm so thankful to have a family that doesn't give a shit that I love another man. Joe,

Same here, man, same here. I’m so thankful to have a family that doesn’t give a shit that I love another man.

]]> By: Joe http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239886 Joe Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:00:06 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239886 With my French boyfriend and my mom and dad in the country...eating a funny French influenced meal with foie gras and cranberry sauce. Reading some of the above emails, I'm thankful for what I've been given. Good luck to everyone. With my French boyfriend and my mom and dad in the country…eating a funny French influenced meal with foie gras and cranberry sauce.

Reading some of the above emails, I’m thankful for what I’ve been given. Good luck to everyone.

]]> By: Stitch http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239873 Stitch Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:28:50 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239873 Thursday, hosting some friends with my partner. It's our first together, and my first since coming out to my family (which partially explains why I'm not heading east to see them this year). Friday, going to dinner at an old friend's place. Saturday, gathering with some co-workers for a "chosen-family" meal. Thursday, hosting some friends with my partner. It’s our first together, and my first since coming out to my family (which partially explains why I’m not heading east to see them this year). Friday, going to dinner at an old friend’s place. Saturday, gathering with some co-workers for a “chosen-family” meal.

]]> By: Joey in CT http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239872 Joey in CT Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:25:52 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239872 Hahaha...This years Thanksgiving should be interesting. I started dating a boy a few months ago, and he invited me to T-day with his fam. The interesting part is that his Mom says "Awesome, he's more then welcome to come. But we can't tell Grandma who he really is (I guess Gram doesn't know he's a bottom). We'll put Gram in Dad's Study so she's not sleeping across the hall from you!". LMAO. So I find out that Gram is a Born-again. SWEET! I sooo can't wait to interact with Gram. Kill her with kindness :-) Anyway, thats my T-day plans. Should be fun. I'm wicked nervous to meet them all, but I'm thankful to have a really great guy in my life and to be able to spend the next few days with him. He makes me feel like I never have and his pay-back for Gram and her Brainwashing book is going to be him meeting all 10 of my siblings...at once! :-) Sorry Babe! XO Happy Holidays all of you! Hahaha…This years Thanksgiving should be interesting. I started dating a boy a few months ago, and he invited me to T-day with his fam. The interesting part is that his Mom says “Awesome, he’s more then welcome to come. But we can’t tell Grandma who he really is (I guess Gram doesn’t know he’s a bottom). We’ll put Gram in Dad’s Study so she’s not sleeping across the hall from you!”. LMAO. So I find out that Gram is a Born-again. SWEET! I sooo can’t wait to interact with Gram. Kill her with kindness :-) Anyway, thats my T-day plans. Should be fun. I’m wicked nervous to meet them all, but I’m thankful to have a really great guy in my life and to be able to spend the next few days with him. He makes me feel like I never have and his pay-back for Gram and her Brainwashing book is going to be him meeting all 10 of my siblings…at once! :-) Sorry Babe! XO Happy Holidays all of you!

]]> By: InExile http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239844 InExile Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:35:01 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239844 They don't celebrate it here, it's almost impossible to find a turkey and everything to go with it. Please support Uniting American Families Act so those gay couples in exile can move back home. They don’t celebrate it here, it’s almost impossible to find a turkey and everything to go with it. Please support Uniting American Families Act so those gay couples in exile can move back home.

]]> By: christopher di spirito http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239823 christopher di spirito Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:57:46 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239823 This is our last Thanksgiving in New York. A lot of our house is in boxes and we're focused on moving back to California so we're not really focused on holidays, per se. In fact, I am not cooking a big Thanksgiving spread. Next year, we will get back to coking a Thanksgiving meal that would make Martha Stewart proud. This is our last Thanksgiving in New York. A lot of our house is in boxes and we’re focused on moving back to California so we’re not really focused on holidays, per se. In fact, I am not cooking a big Thanksgiving spread. Next year, we will get back to coking a Thanksgiving meal that would make Martha Stewart proud.

]]> By: Mark http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239815 Mark Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:58:38 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239815 LIving overseas so no Thanksgiving; though even if I were in the States, wouldn't do anything for it. LIving overseas so no Thanksgiving; though even if I were in the States, wouldn’t do anything for it.

]]> By: GayGOP http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239798 GayGOP Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:46:33 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239798 I will be spending time with the family. No boyfriend, or else I might be with his family, or he with mine. I will be spending time with the family. No boyfriend, or else I might be with his family, or he with mine.

]]> By: tinkerbell http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239788 tinkerbell Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:30:04 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239788 I'll be working at my home in the ER. No rest for the weary...miserable wretches! (Really, I do love my job and holidays are an acceptable part of it.) Anyhoo, going on a jaunt the following day for a few days so no harm, no foul. I’ll be working at my home in the ER. No rest for the weary…miserable wretches! (Really, I do love my job and holidays are an acceptable part of it.)

Anyhoo, going on a jaunt the following day for a few days so no harm, no foul.

]]> By: trav http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239764 trav Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:39:14 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239764 with the family, and my boyfriend is with his also... we'll probably meet after the mid-day calorie binge to have tea and such, but thanksgiving is with the families. isn't it weird/really common to be comfortably out to an entire family except for 1 member of the family? just asking. with the family, and my boyfriend is with his also… we’ll probably meet after the mid-day calorie binge to have tea and such, but thanksgiving is with the families.

isn’t it weird/really common to be comfortably out to an entire family except for 1 member of the family? just asking.

]]> By: Keith Kimmel http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239753 Keith Kimmel Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:13:32 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239753 (damn, submitted that before I was done). What I didn't mention above was that when I partook in the little celebration last year, it wasn't planned. You see, I was psyching myself up for the last part of my coming out process: telling family and living with the consequences of it. I went to the bar to get completely shitfaced and forget about all my problems. Before I could do it, someone got to me, embraced me and welcomed me and we wound up talking for a long, long time over the various items of potluck on offer that night. This year, hopefully I'll be able to help someone else in the way that person helped me. He planted the seed that by Easter of the next year (2009) had brought about multiple fundamental changes in me, where I re-evaluated many roads my life was on and made lots of changes. I decided that I would no longer live in the closet and not only would I not be in the closet, I would live decidedly out of it. Its where my activism started. So yeah, what they do is mean and hurtful. But it only affects me if I allow it to. No one makes me angry, or sad, or hurt or anything else anymore unless I allow them to. Let me tell you, there are few things more self-empowering than cutting strings one by one that various puppet masters have found over you. (damn, submitted that before I was done).

What I didn’t mention above was that when I partook in the little celebration last year, it wasn’t planned. You see, I was psyching myself up for the last part of my coming out process: telling family and living with the consequences of it. I went to the bar to get completely shitfaced and forget about all my problems. Before I could do it, someone got to me, embraced me and welcomed me and we wound up talking for a long, long time over the various items of potluck on offer that night.

This year, hopefully I’ll be able to help someone else in the way that person helped me. He planted the seed that by Easter of the next year (2009) had brought about multiple fundamental changes in me, where I re-evaluated many roads my life was on and made lots of changes. I decided that I would no longer live in the closet and not only would I not be in the closet, I would live decidedly out of it. Its where my activism started.

So yeah, what they do is mean and hurtful. But it only affects me if I allow it to. No one makes me angry, or sad, or hurt or anything else anymore unless I allow them to. Let me tell you, there are few things more self-empowering than cutting strings one by one that various puppet masters have found over you.

]]> By: Keith Kimmel http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239749 Keith Kimmel Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:04:36 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239749 "No. 8 · Republican Keith, reading your post made me cry. I'll never understand how a family can just say "go away" to one of its own, especially during Thanksgiving. The holidays are a time of peace and love. It's simply incomprehensible to me." Meh, I stopped letting it effect me a while ago. They have never told me not to come, specifically. But I have been made to feel unwelcome, so I don't go. Its really a matter of convenience for me. I make it a point to be very busy when the holidays are near, so that I have an excuse. My family is not something I am proud of, nor is it something that I spend alot of time thinking about anymore. It is what it is and it will always be the same. Intelligent people know when they are powerless to change a situation, accept the fact and move on. If I were to go home, my mom would attempt religious conversions and Dad would tell me how homosexuals are a plague upon society. Grandma would play the lecturing Christian and condemn me to hell, while my uncles would probably try to bash me. Why subject myself to that when I can be around a couple of hundred adorable people who have nothing but kind words and acceptance for me? For the most part, I think our community and the people in it are beautiful in every way. Sure, the politics and the apathy of many of them pisses me off and stress me out to no end, but when we are not dealing with advocacy and politics, most of the same people just make me want to hug them and tell them how lovely they are. I don't discuss or play politics on holidays. On those days, everyone is welcome and for those few hours, the score boards are clean. I even smile at and hug people that on other days I cannot stand. It really confuses them, lol. Like you said, its a time for love and acceptance, not bickering and pettiness. Last year I attended a celebration at a local Oklahoma City bar. This is the first year I am doing the OkEq thing. I'll probably do something similar for Christmas. We make our own happiness and luck in life. If being around family makes you unhappy as it does for so many in our community, then don't do it. If you have something your area, attend that. Better yet, volunteer at it. If you don't, start it. Or simply grab the nearest homo, hug them and tell them you love them for who they are. Trust me, few things brighten a day more effectively. “No. 8 · Republican

Keith, reading your post made me cry. I’ll never understand how a family can just say “go away” to one of its own, especially during Thanksgiving. The holidays are a time of peace and love. It’s simply incomprehensible to me.”

Meh, I stopped letting it effect me a while ago. They have never told me not to come, specifically. But I have been made to feel unwelcome, so I don’t go. Its really a matter of convenience for me. I make it a point to be very busy when the holidays are near, so that I have an excuse. My family is not something I am proud of, nor is it something that I spend alot of time thinking about anymore. It is what it is and it will always be the same. Intelligent people know when they are powerless to change a situation, accept the fact and move on.

If I were to go home, my mom would attempt religious conversions and Dad would tell me how homosexuals are a plague upon society. Grandma would play the lecturing Christian and condemn me to hell, while my uncles would probably try to bash me. Why subject myself to that when I can be around a couple of hundred adorable people who have nothing but kind words and acceptance for me? For the most part, I think our community and the people in it are beautiful in every way. Sure, the politics and the apathy of many of them pisses me off and stress me out to no end, but when we are not dealing with advocacy and politics, most of the same people just make me want to hug them and tell them how lovely they are.

I don’t discuss or play politics on holidays. On those days, everyone is welcome and for those few hours, the score boards are clean. I even smile at and hug people that on other days I cannot stand. It really confuses them, lol. Like you said, its a time for love and acceptance, not bickering and pettiness. Last year I attended a celebration at a local Oklahoma City bar. This is the first year I am doing the OkEq thing. I’ll probably do something similar for Christmas.

We make our own happiness and luck in life. If being around family makes you unhappy as it does for so many in our community, then don’t do it. If you have something your area, attend that. Better yet, volunteer at it. If you don’t, start it. Or simply grab the nearest homo, hug them and tell them you love them for who they are. Trust me, few things brighten a day more effectively.

]]> By: Aaron http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239731 Aaron Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:37:16 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239731 I have two Thanksgivings. Thursday is spent at my mother's and then my siblings and I have Thanksgiving #2 with my Dad and his girlfriend on Friday. Both my parents live in the Bay Area so I don't have to trek that far. I live in SF, they're in the East Bay. I have two Thanksgivings. Thursday is spent at my mother’s and then my siblings and I have Thanksgiving #2 with my Dad and his girlfriend on Friday. Both my parents live in the Bay Area so I don’t have to trek that far. I live in SF, they’re in the East Bay.

]]> By: Republican http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239730 Republican Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:34:56 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239730 Keith, reading your post made me cry. I'll never understand how a family can just say "go away" to one of its own, especially during Thanksgiving. The holidays are a time of peace and love. It's simply incomprehensible to me. Keith, reading your post made me cry. I’ll never understand how a family can just say “go away” to one of its own, especially during Thanksgiving. The holidays are a time of peace and love. It’s simply incomprehensible to me.

]]> By: Republican http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239722 Republican Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:26:08 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239722 Spending it with family. We decided to order the turkey, sides, and appetizers and have them delivered to the host relative's house to cut down on the work involved. Thank God for that, as I'm always the one who ends up cooking everything from scratch. I mean, I know I'm the best damn cook in the family (yay, gay genes), but a man has got to be able to relax on his days off, too. This year I'm just making a few desserts. Spending it with family. We decided to order the turkey, sides, and appetizers and have them delivered to the host relative’s house to cut down on the work involved. Thank God for that, as I’m always the one who ends up cooking everything from scratch. I mean, I know I’m the best damn cook in the family (yay, gay genes), but a man has got to be able to relax on his days off, too. This year I’m just making a few desserts.

]]> By: Mike L. http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239713 Mike L. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:07:59 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239713 Well I don't celebrate any holidays at all barely do I celebrate birthdays, but I might drop by a cousin's house (leaning on not wanting to bother) or just let it be a regular day like any other. Yes I'm a scrooge when it comes to holidyas. Lol. Well I don’t celebrate any holidays at all barely do I celebrate birthdays, but I might drop by a cousin’s house (leaning on not wanting to bother) or just let it be a regular day like any other.

Yes I’m a scrooge when it comes to holidyas.

Lol.

]]> By: John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's) http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239680 John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's) Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:14:56 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239680 Woot! Woot!

]]> By: Scott http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239671 Scott Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:00:09 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239671 Usually my partner and I take turns hosting Thanksgiving with a family we know but this year my Honey is heading to see his parents in Asia Minor while I stay home. So I'll be at a restaurant with straight friends who have no family left (because they're old and the family died). Usually my partner and I take turns hosting Thanksgiving with a family we know but this year my Honey is heading to see his parents in Asia Minor while I stay home. So I’ll be at a restaurant with straight friends who have no family left (because they’re old and the family died).

]]> By: Chris Richardson http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239650 Chris Richardson Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:59:53 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239650 My partner and I will be having an "orphan" thanksgiving here at our big gay house. For homos and heteros alike, there is a place at the table. It is our favorite holiday and everyone can't wait for Keith's cooking (one of the benie's of living with someone with a culinary arts degree). I do the pumpkin pie, he does the mac & cheese, turkey and everything else. My partner and I will be having an “orphan” thanksgiving here at our big gay house. For homos and heteros alike, there is a place at the table. It is our favorite holiday and everyone can’t wait for Keith’s cooking (one of the benie’s of living with someone with a culinary arts degree). I do the pumpkin pie, he does the mac & cheese, turkey and everything else.

]]> By: Aaron Heier http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239647 Aaron Heier Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:47:58 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239647 Several friends and I are volunteering for the 21st Annual Scott Carlson LGBT Community Thanksgiving Dinner here in San Diego. The dinner, started by LGBT & HIV/AIDS activist Carlson, originally served those critically ill who weren't able to cook for themselves. To honor his legacy of activism, the dinner has now morphed into a community-wide dinner, no one is turned away regardless of who they are (homeless, LGBT, straight, down on their luck, ill or healthy.) It's amazing to see so many people come together to give thanks during the holiday for what they have, especially when some have so little. Several friends and I are volunteering for the 21st Annual Scott Carlson LGBT Community Thanksgiving Dinner here in San Diego. The dinner, started by LGBT & HIV/AIDS activist Carlson, originally served those critically ill who weren’t able to cook for themselves. To honor his legacy of activism, the dinner has now morphed into a community-wide dinner, no one is turned away regardless of who they are (homeless, LGBT, straight, down on their luck, ill or healthy.)

It’s amazing to see so many people come together to give thanks during the holiday for what they have, especially when some have so little.

]]> By: Keith Kimmel http://www.queerty.com/tell-queerty-how-are-you-spending-thanksgiving-20091123/#comment-239640 Keith Kimmel Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:39:07 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=75566#comment-239640 Volunteering at Oklahomans for Equality to help put on a dinner for the orphaned homos like myself who have family who doesn't want them home for the holidays. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=217749076392 Then I'll probably go to the bar and be gay. Volunteering at Oklahomans for Equality to help put on a dinner for the orphaned homos like myself who have family who doesn’t want them home for the holidays.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=217749076392

Then I’ll probably go to the bar and be gay.

]]>