Human sexuality is a fickle pickle, and there’s no one-size-fits-all to choose from. While many of us find “gay” or “straight” works just fine to describe our complicated sexual chemistry, others click elsewhere on the spectrum. A recent study found that 49 percent of Brits between the ages of 18-24 identify as something other than “100 percent heterosexual” when asked to plot themselves on Alfred Kinsey’s sexuality scale.
So before you scoff these labels off as made up or unnecessary, consider that it wasn’t long ago people laughed off “gay” as at best a delusion and at worst a serious illness.
At the end of the day, go for what makes you happy! And try not to get in the way of others doing the same — it’s just not worth your trouble.
Heteroflexible
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
More straight-identifying than bi, but still open and attracted to physical and/or emotional romances with people of the same gender.
Related: Guy Comes Out As “Heteroflexible” To His Girlfriend. It Doesn’t Go Well.
Homoflexible
The gay version of heteroflexible — mostly gay-identifying, but not entirely.
Skoliosexual
Attracted to genderqueer folks, or people who don’t identify as strictly male or female.
Pansexual
Attracted to anyone regardless of gender — how fun! For them it’s all about romantic connection, binary or not.
Related: First Queer Superhero Lead? Ryan Reynolds Opens Up About “Deadpool’s” Fluid Sexuality
Panromantic
Someone who is romantically attracted — but not sexually — to others regardless of gender.
Asexual
Not attracted to, well, anyone. Which sounds sad on the surface, but just think how many meaningful relationships in your life have nothing to do with sex.
Demisexual
These folks don’t have sexual attraction for another unless there is an already-established emotional connection. You’re unlikely to hear a demisexual person talk about that hot guy they saw on the train, but they still very well may fall in love and want to get down between the sheets.
Gray-A
Similar to asexual, except every now and then their libido will perk up and say “me! me! me!”
Androgynsexual
Attracted to all genders, but only if they read as androgynous.
Related: Queer Actor Ezra Miller Does High Fashion, Androgynous Drag For “PAPER”
Autosexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to themselves. So, 75% of the gay community. But where narcissists still look beyond themselves to find sexual partners, autosexuals are content with self-gratification.
Related: PHOTOS: Inside The Bizarrely Sexy Phenomenon Of “Boyfriend Twins”
Ron Jackson
You just made all this up right? right?
David G. Abler
Joe… saw this and thought if u
Shay Serenity
A lot of these descriptions are not quite accurate
Cam
And Queerty keeps doing whatever they possibly can to allow people to not have to say they are Lesbian, Gay, or Bi.
Enough with this. Pan Sexual? Guess, what, they’re Bi. Heteroflexible? Oh, you mean they are Bi or Gay but want to call themselves something with the word “Hetero” in it?
It seems like you have one Editor who continually tries to keep writing these posts.
But funny enough, you haven’t written ANYTHING about the Largest Jewish denomination in the entire nation laying out it’s complete support of the Transgender community.
Weird that you run a post on one single Rabbi in Israel that says something anti-gay, but when the largest denomination in the U.S. representing something like 90% of all U.S. Jews comes out in full support of T rights, you run a post like this instead of that.
Your bias is showing.
Mark Anthony Arnaldo
hot
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
I see Queerty avoided Autogynophilia, probably wisely!
Tommy Martin-Edwards
Tumblr is leaking again. Next you’ll start in about Otherkin and the like.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
IIRC there’s a big science-y latin name for primary attraction to hentai and cartoons in general.
And a big yiff to y’all furfags out there, poor sods.
Anthony Fuccillo
Thank you.
James Walters
Eric Stewart you’re autosexual. Lol
Glücklich
What I’m reading is bi, bi, bi, and more bi.
Sidney Davies
Pansexual Pride right here! 😉
Joe Kort
I love it
Masc Pride
I think straight, bi, gay/lesbian, heteroflexible, homoflexible, pansexual and asexual pretty much cover all the bases. Can’t think of anyone who just wouldn’t fit any of those categories.
@Ron Jackson: As Dan stated, it wasn’t long ago that people thought the idea of identifying as gay was kooky.
@Cam: Why do you seem so threatened by people having the freedom to self-identify as the feel? What’s your damage? And TMK pansexual mostly refers to people who are open to being with transsexuals. Most bi and heteroflexible people want a man OR a woman, not both in the same person.
William Thomas Bramlett II
Ten? Jesus Christ guys really!!?
Prinny
Tumblr is leaking here now as well.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Special Snowflakesexual
Michael Rowady
Wild
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
* Snowflakersexual
ethan_hines
you forgot sapiosexual=One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
ethan_hines
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: one who is only attracted to snow flakes?
Marky
@Glücklich: These are all subcategories of sexuality. , it’s not black and white, it’s just red, yellow, blue and green. *glances innocently to the right* Androgynsexual: Bisexual, Autosexual is a narcist. Gray-A: joke. Demisexual: Not sexuality, it’s called being assertive. Panromantic: person has issues, sorry. I feel like this is an I can fuck you cause I can’t fuck the one I actually love; get a shrink. selfish. Or just really good friends? Skoliosexual: still bisexual *shrugs* just not a close minded bisexual? Homoflexible–gay: women are sex toys only, much like Heteroflexible women who are straight but sleep with women, the other women in this case, sex toys only. Romantic inclinations are really the dominating factor to me… but I consider humans to be sapient beings rather than purely carnal so maybe that’s the reason I attach sexuality to love and not just carnality? These are all just subcategories of basic human sexuality as we have established up to this point. May as well call everyone “There-own-person-sexual”
Marky
@Glücklich: In other words: ya totally.
James Smith
More boxes to shove people into because it’s so necessary to define everyone! UGH
Cam
@Masc Pride: said.. “@Cam: Why do you seem so threatened by people having the freedom to self-identify as the feel? ”
_____________________
What a shock, the guy who consistently defends the closet also defends the Many other ways that people can avoid identifying as Lesbian, Gay, or Bi.
onthemark
@Cam: Well I’M not defending the closet and have no record of doing so, but I can’t figure what the FUCK is your problem with this. You are otherwise sensible. Seriously, Cam, you are starting to sound completely fucking deranged. If someone doesn’t consider “bi” to completely define their own sexuality, why do you even care? WTF business is it of yours anyway?
onthemark
Skoliosexual… sounds like someone who is sexually attracted to chiropractors.
Demisexual… Bruce Willis had that.
Autosexual… millennials don’t have that so much, they are more into bikes and light rail.
Pansexual… Having sex with pans is dangerous. You should always wait for them to cool down, at least. In fact, having sex in the kitchen at any time is pretty dangerous.
Cam
@onthemark:
And WTF business is it of yours to get so upset. The issue is, first closet cases came up with the “I don’t like Labels” mantra. That one didn’t really catch on, and so now there is this quest to make up so many labels that the existence of LGBT’s is negated.
Rather than freaking out and getting all huffy, please feel free to explain in a rational way how “Heteroflexible” is anything different than a bisexual who would rather have a lable with hetero in it.
Please, feel free.
Miriam Macdonald
Oh I am so glad I have so many more people to label!
Shaun Throop
10?? Seriously??? There are guys, girls and hermaphrodites….there are only 3. Gay, straight or Pansexual.
GayEGO
This is just the beginning! There will probably be at least one gender name per alphabet letter. :>)
onthemark
@Cam: You’re the huffy one. It is obvious to rational people that “heteroflexible” is an attempt to define someone whose attractions are predominately heterosexual, but who has occasional (perhaps VERY occasional) homosexual interests. And is being HONEST about it and not closeted about it at all.
If someone is 100% hetero, all you ask is that they not be anti-gay. Why do you suddenly change the rules if they happen to be, say, 90% hetero and honest about it? “Bisexual” implies 50/50 or close to it, and a lot of people just aren’t at that place.
And don’t kid yourself – for most people, including most gay men, “bisexual” when applied to a male STILL means “secretly really gay.” This is what these self-defined “heteroflexible” guys are reacting to. They’re not gay. They’re not bi either. And it doesn’t affect you and it’s none of your business.
onthemark
@Cam: It’s worse than that – you are PROMOTING the closet because you want to discourage anyone with that sexuality from even experimenting with their homosexual interests.
You put the (metaphorical) gun to their heads – “identify as bisexual, dammit, or stop playing around with guys!”
Cam
@onthemark:
A whole lot of words and yet you couldn’t do the one simple thing I asked. Explain why Hetroflexible is different from Bisexual.
Bisexuals complain about “bi erasure” a lot and I alway thought they were exaggerating.
Now I totally see it. You want to promote the closet and completely negate the existence of bisexuals. They really were on the money when they said people were trying to erase their existence.
And as for the metaphical gun to anybody head, what you just did was defend the closet. I.E. your screaming defense is that somebody can mess around all the time with people of the same sex but not identify as anything but heteo.
That is the VERY DEFINITION of the closet. You may as well start claiming that being on the “Down Low” is now it’s own orientation.
tham
millennials, they so desperately want to make a mark on society…so of course, new words that have new meanings that they only understand.
Gen X did the same thing albeit, in a much smaller way. Until the early 90s, gays called themselves Homosexuals. Gay was a derogatory slang then…but all the 20 somethings refereed to themselves as gay…so it stuck.
If millennials want people to go along with a new term, PICK ONE. As it is now, it’s just over compensation due to having really noting to really add to the conversation.
onthemark
@Cam: “Explain why Hetroflexible is different from Bisexual.”
Uh, I already did. It’s different in degree. “Why do you suddenly change the rules if they happen to be, say, 90% hetero and honest about it? “Bisexual” implies 50/50 or close to it, and a lot of people just aren’t at that place.”
And if they’re honest about it, they’re not in the closet!
onthemark
@Cam: When male bisexuals complain about “bi erasure” they are mostly complaining about the incorrect folk belief that they are really, secretly GAY. (A belief that, frankly, probably most cisgender gay men still have… never mind that most straight people believe it.)
Cam
So people sleep with both sexes, but they aren’t bi because you set up some subjective number that they must operate under.
Again, you defend the closet and erase bisexuals all in one post.
onthemark
@tham: You think “gay” was derogatory slang until the early ’90s? Not so! “Gay” was mainstream as early as the ’70s, and maybe earlier. Even the New York Times famously relented on “gay” in 1987 and started using it for homosexual. Its routine use way predates the ’90s.
But I agree with your larger point. Millennials create a lot of new labels, while at the same time they always want to say that they “don’t like labels”! That’s pretty silly. Labels are attempts to define previously ill-defined reality. There is nothing with labels, per se. They should have fun with the labels, not feel guilty about making them.
Joseph Huffman
Incredibly interesting I learned something new today. Wow….. =^..^=
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Sorry for the inconvenience, but for some people orientation just ain’t so black or white or even consistently grey, and their sexuality falls between the cracks (ahem) and slides about making the task of training your love gun on the ever moving target that is the desire object an imprecise and difficult concept to pin down. I would elaborate from my personal experience but ….”imprecise and difficult concept to pin down”
SonOfKings
Self-indulgent, attention-seeking frippery. (By degree) Gay, straight, of Bi. That is all gentlemen.
onthemark
@Cam: “Subjective” number? Suppose someone has sex with 9 women and one man in a year. That’s not a subjective number; that’s an objective number.
I suppose if I were a psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, I might include them all as a subset of “bisexual.” (And does the APA agree? I dunno. Neither do you, I bet.) At any rate, that still wouldn’t mean THEY would need to define themselves as bisexual.
Glücklich
@Marky:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s
alphacentauri
Many of these terms are just other terms for being bisexual, that people who have a lot of internalized biphobia use to avoid actually identifying and coming out as bisexual.
sportsguy1983
SI stupid. smh
Justin Atkins
So stupid. Ppl are so desperate for attention
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
The terms heteroflexible/homoflexible, notwithstanding their horrible buzzwordiness, instinctively feel to be of genuine utility in plugging a conceptual gap
onthemark
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Yes!
Captain Obvious
The only one that made any sense was “Autosexual” and anyone claiming any of these other terms must be “Autosexual”. Freaking shallow attention whores. Stop trying to make “Fetch” happen.
Cam
@onthemark:
Your entire argument is:
People should be able to have sex with people of the same sex but shouldn’t have to do the horrible thing of saying that they are Bi, Lesbian, or Gay because that is a terrible thing to have to admit.
Once again, your entire point is literally a defense of the closet, bi erasure, and anti-gay/lesbian bigotry.
Cam
@alphacentauri:
@Captain Obvious:
Both of you, bingo!
onthemark
@Captain Obvious: If you engage in autosexuality, be careful not to get your c0ck stuck in the car’s tailpipe. (I realize you may have a big one since you’re 15% black or something, lol).
Arcamenel
Asexual can and do have sex fyi. I don’t know why they need a separate term for those that do. Are autosexual like Chronic masturbators?
onthemark
@Cam: I don’t see any bisexuals commenting here at all, to agree or disagree with you. I do see several cisgender gay guys agreeing with you.
I didn’t realize you were the self-appointed word police, and the self-appointed spokesman for bisexuals even though you’re not bisexual.
And by your own admission, you didn’t even believe in “bi-erasure” until this “heteroflexible” stuff popped up! Now suddenly you’re the authority on bi-erasure? Says who?
Tracy Pope
If someone feels the need to check a box to describe themselves that is their prerogative, however…
On any given day I am one (or two) of three or four of these descriptions yet I am none of them. I don’t need “look at me, I’m different” descriptions to define who I am.
Dennis Maloney Jr.
Those two guys are having major fun
1EqualityUSA
plugging a conceptual gap. woof.
alphacentauri
“Pansexual” really is nothing more than bisexual. People just made up a new sexuality because they don’t think “bi” is interesting enough. Haven’t you noticed all the people identifying as made-up genders and sexualities? “Pansexual” isn’t as bad as a lot of other ones I’ve seen, but people who identify as made-up genders and sexualities and change identities like clothing really belittle gay, bisexual, and trans people.
I have seen pansexual used to describe people who are ped0s or into having sex with animals.
alphacentauri
@onthemark: If someone’s 90% hetero or 90% gay/lesbian-though I’m not sure how you would figure out these percentages, then they’re bisexual since if a person is really gay/lesbian then they’re not going to have sexual attraction to the opposite gender even if they’ve had sex with them, and people who are really heterosexual don’t have any sexual attraction to the same gender.
SonOfKings
@alphacentauri: “…people who identify as made-up genders and sexualities and change identities like clothing really belittle gay, bisexual, and trans people.” BINGO! That is why we should not suffer these fools gladly, with their contrived self-promoting nonsense.
onthemark
@alphacentauri: You can call them bisexual all you want. I even agree they are under the bisexual “umbrella,” to be very general about it.
But if they don’t think the term bisexual adequately defines their situation, and they come up with a new term, so what?
If some gay cisgender person wants to club them over the head, saying “YOU’RE BISEXUAL, DAMMIT!”, that’s totally impractical. Getting into real Don Quixote wacko territory.
Masc Pride
@Cam: It’s no shock that you would reply with personal attacks (instead of just answering the question I asked you) since you’re the type of judgmental queen that gets angry when other guys aren’t doing what you feel they should do. I’ve never once “defended the closet”, but I certainly will continue to defend an individual’s right to choose the path that will work best for his or her life. I don’t feel like total strangers owe me anything, and I don’t feel like anyone should be forced to be part of the community.
Avery Alvarez
Your indoctrination has begun.
Step 1: cult words and rhetoric that make no sense and really have no place outside of the cult.
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: “Snowflakersexual”
Actually, you got that one completely wrong, have triggered me. You are sèxist and ràcist, and now you must take sensitivity courses!
The correct term is “speshul sneauxflayk sexual”. GEt it riiiiggghtt cuz mah feeelings!
inkpeninmd
Gawd, the snowflakes abound.
sapphireburns
I personally feel like a lot of these labels (including labels not mentioned in the article) are either a joke, a type of bisexual, a type of asexual, or just someone’s preference. For example, if a bisexual likes someone who is genderqueer or perhaps someone who has physical traits that are male and female, I don’t see why that makes them pan if they are attracted to both men and women and the person just happens to be a bit of both. If they aren’t attracted to gender queer people then either they are close minded or don’t like the idea of blending the two genders or sexes. No need to expand on how they prefer their men and women. Autosexual is extreme narcissism. And labels like (insert orientation)-romantic or demisexual are kind of pointless becausd now it’s just a matter of how sexual they are rather than who they are attracted to. It’s like saying I identify as horny or I identify with a low sex drive. Also you can’t be heterosexual and homoromantic. You are bisexual, but have issues regardhng a separation between sex and love, and intimacy issues that you should talk to a professional about.
sapphireburns
As for gender identity I truly identify as gender fluid because I feel like both male and female(it changes), but things like otherkin is a joke. For gender I believe in male, female, and ALL in BETWEEN. Identifying with something that isnt the same species or even imaginary is either just an attention whore or one who needs to be institutionalized. I see genderfluid as the bisexual of gender identity. We arent one or the other we are a bit of both so HAVE to identify with a different label.
kevaroo
So here is the end all be all interpretation of these terms. Other than Asexual, they are all subcategories of Homo and Bi Sexualties.
Pan and Flexible. These terms might assist bisexual people in articulating the degree of their attractions. But truth be told, people forget that the main subject involved is attraction to gender sex. I think both terms can help uneducated people better understand a bisexual persons level of sexual attraction. For example, I know bi women and men who are sexually attracted to the same sex but aren’t interested/able to have a relationship with the same sex. But the common ground is they have a varying degree of bisexuality.
The Andro classification is more of an asthetic attraction. If we were to travel down that rabbit hole then the new terms of Twinksexual and Beefcake sexual would have to added for those who are only attracted to people who are twinks or are gym bunnies. Simply take a note from the Leather and Bear community. Being either has no bearing on their sexuality it is simply an attraction. Same goes for Skolio. Queer is not a sexuality. I know Straight people that consider themselves Queer. Personally I think it is borderline offensive to have even included Queer in the LGBT…. alphabet. I have never know anyone to fight for ‘Queer Rights’. And what would those legal inclusions entail. I understand that being a ‘Queer’, Countercultural, Fluid identifying person is a free and beautiful form of human expression that should be celebrated. But that is NOT a SEXUALITY. Again, those are subcategories.
Demi crosses sexuality period. Again, it’s another tool in helping to explain to the uninitiated the levels and degrees of sexual attraction. In this case this is a bisexual who needs to make an emotional connection first. This ISN’T something new. There are already gay and straight people that have to make an emotional connection first. Most straight women I know fall into that category.
Pan romantic is laughable. If they have romantic feelings but no SEXUAL attraction then it is NOT a SEXUALITY! I think it is delightful for peopl to have feelings. Bromances, Sisterhoods etc exist. There is nothing wrong with that and in fact people have been falling in love for all time. But do not muddy the waters with non sexual, emotional attachments.
Auto sexual…Well, what genitalia do they possess that they are attracted to about themselves? Do they have a vagina, penis or both? Again, another subcategory. And let’s not confuse this with masturbation.
Gray-A is such a joke it is beyond laughable.
In conclusion, The Kinsey Report touched upon the levels and degrees of bisexuality decades ago. These categories do much in assisting people who fall into the varying degrees of bisexuality to explain to people who do not comprehend bisexuality. They are the adverbs. Helping terms. These classifications exist but it is imperative that we are precise in these classifications. Otherwise we run the risk of diminishing Homosexuals and Bisexuals alike. And Sociopoliticaly there are many who would like nothing more than seeing some variance that they can latch onto to further their cause of trying to discredit all of us.
Ivan Savvine
Heteroflexible lol
SonOfKings
@sapphireburns: I think you are setting the bar too low to qualify for gender fluid status. Like MANY cisgender gay men, I have a feminine alter-ego that informs my general psychology. But I don’t claim gender fluidity because I don’t truly live or interact with my environment as anything other than a cisgender, gay male. There are people I know who can outwardly transform themselves to appear as a different gender designation and reverse that process at will. To me, that’s gender fluidity. Simply being a male who occasionally has feminine thoughts and reactions does not make you gender fluid.
Erik Pate
Do we really need to lable every last little thing
SonOfKings
As a general statement to the forum, I think the reason this whole issue is so perplexing to me is it reminds me of a period, when some black or mixed individuals were not content to simply identify as black or mixed and chose to make up a lot of BS labels that made them feel exotic, special and different. The called themselves “cablinasians,” “French Latins,” and “World Children.” Today they are all back to being just black or mixed. Like we knew they always were. And that’s how this latest fad will end. Back to our original designations: gay, straight, or bi.
Nick Marriott
Turns out Bono is a,’circum-feteishist!’……who’d a thunk it!
Pete Foley
You used an illustration of mine in this article. If you’re not going to ask permission, could you at least give attribution, please?
Chris
Lukas Ridgeston (he of 1990s Bel Ami fame) is supposed to have answered “sexual” when asked about his preferences. I sort of like that one best. It allows you to place any -fix (pre or suf) onto it.
offbeatoh86
You @Chris: Most Gay porn stars are buy-sexual; they’ll fuck anyone for enough money.
Kabir Rathaur-Bageria
Wow, this was so interesting! Sexuality is so fluid!
Brian
One of the aims of feminism was to weaken men by creating divisions such as gay, straight etc. When men are divided thus, it weakens them as a whole.
Therefore, men should empower themselves by refusing to declare their sexuality. It will help to defeat the feminists.
DutchGay
What’s wrong with being gay, bi or whatever ? Why should things become so complicated with all these labels that actually push people back into the closet ? Yeah, I fucked girls when I was younger too but I’m NOT “heteroflexible”, I’m definately gay and not ashamed of that.
alphacentauri
@kevaroo: Well said.
@DutchGay: True, a lot of people even some gay men and lesbian women do not understand that a gay man or woman can have sex or even a relationship with a person of the opposite gender but it doesn’t make them bisexual.
I happen to be bisexual since I’m sexually and romantically attracted to both genders; but not everyone is bisexual. I have gay friends both women and men who told me how they did have sex with the opposite gender, and how this just showed them how they’re simply not sexually attracted to the opposite gender at all.
@offbeatoh86: If they’re doing porn and it has lesbian or gay/bisexual sex scenes in it then they’re either bisexual or gay, the whole ‘gay for pay’ thing is just marketing based on homophobia/biphobia that’s been going on for decades; but people still believe the myth that if you do porn you make a lot of cash or become famous.
Tobi
I thought pansexual was when you did it religiously with goats? Oh, and is metrosexual no longer a “thing”? I do wish us lesbians and gays could get back to focusing on homosexual equality without every superfluous rag, tag and bobtail trying to hitch their agenda to our bandwagon. *sigh*
SonOfKings
@Tobi: Exactly. All these made up identities trivializes our movement and makes a mockery of real life GLBT issues and struggles. “Asexuals” are not a pressed upon, downtrodden minority. They are people starved for attention and driven by a need to feel more special than the really are.
Cam
@alphacentauri:
All of you keep saying a variation of “You can do this, but it doesn’t mean this!”
In other words you jeep saying ” You can sleep with your same gender, BUT DON’T WORRY IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE BI OR GAY!!”
That is exactly what the closet is. You are trying to be SO liberal and all you are doing is retreating to the 1950’s.
Blackceo
Ugh….more labels. I mean I do get it. We are so different and sexuality is very complex as the world has changed and people are more free to express their sexuality. People want to be recognized. As someone who falls into one of the dominant categories who am I to get in a huff about someone who wants a term or a label that truly defines their sexual orientation. I’d be homoflexible from this list.
GayEGO
@William Thomas Bramlett II: You know how some people like individualism. They will probably come up with more specific names like penisexual, analsexual, vagisexual, boobasexual, buttisexual, etc. :>)
onthemark
@Cam: “That is exactly what the closet is.” No it’s not. You keep saying that, over and over, but why? It’s exactly the opposite.
They are NOT closeted, because they’re being totally frank about what they are doing, or even merely fantasizing. That’s the exact opposite of closeted.
This subject originally came up with that “heteroflexible” guy who (assuming he was real) was turned on by penises. If I remember correctly he hadn’t even acted on it and had NEVER even had sex with a guy. He merely told his girlfriend about his penis fantasies. (Btw, this seems a fantasy that could adequately be satisfied by straight porn, and occasional locker room glances, without ever acting on it.)
You wanted to call THAT guy bisexual! That stretches the meaning of bisexual into the absurd, since he’d never had sex with a guy and might never do it. But at the same time he was NOT closeted.
I almost hate to bring this up, but how old are you? You seem like a dinosaur to me and I’m over 50. See a shrink, take your meds, and try talking to someone younger than 40 once in awhile.
Giancarlo85
I think… I’ll do the Homer walking back into the bush gif…
https://media.giphy.com/media/4pMX5rJ4PYAEM/giphy.gif
Not getting into this one.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: well, thanks for looking!
Philip Rueskov Christiansen
Maja her er det ð???ð???
Gothrykke
Some feel real, the rest feel like hipster B.S. or personality disorders.
dustashed
I once jerked off watching myself on the mirror once.. well maybe a few times. Does that make me autosexual? lol
kafal
jesus christ,why do people love so much being labeled and create new terms, fuck this fuck that fuck you. this LGBTQSUCKYOURDICK or whatever makes us becoming joke,and every single time somebody said yeah i’m proud pansexual, oh god you’re queer, retard!! FUCK YOU SJW i remember watching video on youtube actually from buzzfeed and this guy let me quote “this BI guy” who’s appearing on the video is dating a gay guy and he pathetically commenting on every single comment when the people said gay couple and ask them to change it to same sex couple because he’s bi not gay, i mean WTF,is the term gay is so offensive , and how are people supposed to know that he’s bi, like oh god this guy is better kill himself, if you don’t want to be called gay don’t date gay or another man. like seriously.there is no term in straight couple opposite sex couple, there is only hetero couple. Fuck !
kafal
@Kabir Rathaur-Bageria: not fluid but people are just plain stupid and confused and create new terms, if you ask me yeah sometimes i can see how pretty girls and romantically would date them, but yeah if i think furthermore i won’t do date girls, cuz i’m sure i’m gay, i’m more attracted romantically and sexually with MEN you know ‘MEN”
Tobi
@SonOfKings: I agree, it’s costing us dearly, important rights such as non-discrimination in housing and employment were derailed at Houston because the wholly irrelevant transgender restroom issue got tacked on and which the opposition exploited to become the focus.
dustashed
Labels have their purpose. but it should not carry weight of an entire person’s character
dustashed
*the weight
Cam
@onthemark:
Stating that people might be afraid to label themselves bi, or that sleeping with the same sex all the time doesn’t mean that they aren’t straight or any of the other numerous protestations you and others have said are just the words of the closet, and pretending they aren’t doesn’t matter.
onthemark
@Cam: “All the time” !!!!!! – OF COURSE – and now you’re just changing your own arbitrary rules without acknowledging it. Before you were declaring that the “heteroflexible” guy who’d never actually had sex even ONCE with a guy – just had fantasies – was bisexual. Now you’ve suddenly changed it to, sleeps with the same sex “all the time”? Make up your mind.
Nobody was saying that if someone sleeps with the same sex “all the time” they are anything but GAY. That has nothing to do with bisexuality anyway.
It’s none of your business what bisexuals call themselves, it doesn’t affect you, it’s not a threat to you, and I’m sure they don’t care what some random crazy gay guy on the interest thinks. You’ve lost this one, Cam, give it up!
onthemark
@onthemark: internet not interest lol
Jean-louis Salmon
Ok why not.human sexualité is so complicated. Let’s ne tolérant
onthemark
@Cam: Let’s look at rock stars for a minute:
Kurt Cobain – had sex with a guy ONCE to prove a point (i.e. that he was not homophobic!)
Michael Stipe
David Bowie
Marc Bolan
Lou Reed – married 3 women.
Joey Ramone – some gay-for-pay experiences in heroin days.
Jimi Hendrix – had sex with many guys (in the US Army!) and talked often about it.
John Lennon almost certainly?
Jim Morrison
(I’m probably leaving somebody out.) Which of these guys qualifies as “bisexual” by any reasonable definition? I’ll grant you the Lizard King (who I think cheerfully embraced the term), and maybe Reed (despite the 3 wives). But if someone were to insist on defining all these guys as “bisexual,” AND accused them of “supporting the closet” by not embracing the term, that would be nuts nuts nuts.
Cam
@onthemark:
I keep loving your desperation on this one. You want people to sleep with as many members of their own gender as possible but be able to avoid saying that they are anything resembling LGBT.
The funny thing is, your list is ridiculous. Let’s take on example. Michael Stipe. You aren’t saying that none of these guys qualify as bisexual by any reasonable definition?
Stipe himself SAID “I’m 80% gay” he sleeps with both, he said he just didn’t LIKE the term bisexual.
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/03/07/michael-stipe-im-80-per-cent-gay/
So here you are trying to make claims about him that he himself doesn’t back up.
But again, you should ask yourself. Why the desperation to avoid any acknowledgement that Lesbian/Gay/Bi exist? You are again championing the closet screaming basically to people, “Don’t worry, if you are a married man, and you sleep with 100 other guys over a year, it’s ok, you can still say you’re straight because what you say is all that matters.
onthemark
@Cam: You’re the one who’s desperate. You keep bringing up extreme, ludicrous straw-man situations that nobody else has brought up: “if you are a married man, and you sleep with 100 other guys over a year”… hey he’s GAY, okay? (A hundred, really?) I’d say a guy like that is not even bisexual, he’s gay. Are you still saying he’s bisexual?
You started off freaking out about the “heteroflexible” guy who hadn’t had sex with even ONE other guy, but still you insisted he was “bisexual” and “promoting the closet”… and now suddenly you’re rambling on about hypothetical married sluts having sex with a hundred guys in a year? Seriously, do you have AIDS dementia? WTF.
I was well aware of Stipe’s situation. If he calls himself “80% gay” and YOU want to call him “bisexual,” who is right? Anyway he’s not closeted if that’s what you’re worried about. (It’s getting increasingly hard to follow what exactly you’re worried about.)
“Why the desperation to avoid any acknowledgement that Lesbian/Gay/Bi exist?”
– First off, you’re the only one who keeps dragging L & G into this at all. We were not discussing L & G, we were discussing B. You keep trying to distract us by chucking the L & G potatoes into the stew. It’s irrelevant and it’s not working.
– I HAVE already acknowledged that Bisexual exists. I said, quote, they are under the bisexual “umbrella.” They might even (most of them, I suspect) acknowledge that. They are merely adding some additional description. Fine-tuning it a bit. This is not some diabolical plot to promote the closet. Bisexual *implies* closer to 50/50 and that, I gather, is the main or possibly the only thing that troubles them about the term.
onthemark
@Cam: Let’s pin down what’s really bothering you. In retrospect, the term that originally offended you was “heteroflexible,” because it has “hetero” in it, or something…
(although I didn’t understand your objection since the guy in question was indeed basically hetero, and wasn’t sexually active with guys, but whatever)…
Looking at the other terms on the list…
I hope we can agree that asexuals really do exist! (If you are contending that asexuals are really bisexuals, that would be too absurd for me to even try to argue with you about.)
So… if “heteroflexible” had not appeared in this list, would any of the other terms offend you nearly as much? Do any of them actually contradict “bisexual”? Do any of them REALLY “promote the closet”?
Cam
@onthemark:
So in other words, you tried to make a point and I blew it up with the link on Michael Stipe, and now you are pivoting and trying to put anything else down.
Again, the fact is, that from the get go your commentary was all about, “You can sleep with your gender but you don’t have to label yourself. You even SAID that people wouldn’t want to admit to it if they HAD to label themselves as bisexual, lesbian, or gay.
Again, that is the very definition of the closet. I’m not sure what you feel your agenda is here. Mine is clear. In my opinion however well intention this is, it is just another way of erasing LGBT’s existence by basically saying that none of them exist. Sleep with whomever you want, don’t worry about it, just call yourself straight.
What is less clear is why this seems to be such a large part of YOUR day. What is your dog in this fight.
As to your final comment of “So… if “heteroflexible” had not appeared in this list, would any of the other terms offend you nearly as much? Do any of them actually contradict “bisexual”? ”
My response is, if none of them contradict bisexual, then what is the problem with saying “Bisexual”?
onthemark
@Cam: It’s weird how you keep accusing me of stuff you’re doing yourself. You seem on the verge of having a stroke.
Again, do YOU think Stipe is a bisexual? After he describes himself as “80% gay”? Are you going to attack him for using a “subjective” number, lol? That was the point of the rock star list – are they ALL bisexuals, by your rigorous definition?
“You even SAID that people wouldn’t want to admit to it if they HAD to label themselves as bisexual, lesbian, or gay.” No… when did I say that? Nobody else here said that either. I didn’t even mention L/G (since it’s not relevant here) and I certainly didn’t say that about B.
And AGAIN, why do you keep bringing up “LGBT”? You’re the only one dragging L, G & T into this, apparently in a deliberate attempt to obfuscate the issue. Nobody is denying that “LGBT” exist. That’s ridiculous. Everyone else here has been addressing B.
“if none of the [terms] contradict bisexual, then what is the problem with saying “Bisexual”?”
Ask a bisexual. A lot of them seem to have a problem with it. That’s the whole point of these articles. Or did you miss that part? 🙂
If none of the terms contradict bisexual, then what is YOUR problem with NOT saying bisexual? What is your problem with additional and/or fine-tuned description? Why do you assume it’s all a diabolical plot to promote the closet?
“What is your dog in this fight.”
I could ask you the same thing, but personally I see the futility and sheer silliness of ordering bisexuals, via the internet, to define themselves a certain way. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to attempt that. Now that they’re using additional terms, I’m curious about understanding the terms.
But apparently you enjoy “herding the cats.” Good luck with that! You’ll have a stroke before Giancarlo85 does.
stranded
I guess i’ve been a little bit of everything through my life so far. I guess i closely resemble hetero flexible but i’d never self identify as that. I just like plain ol’ bisexual. Though i do like the androgynsexual. I find myself increasingly attracted to “butch” women and I’m not sure if this fall under the same category but also transmen.
alphacentauri
@Nick Marriott: So does that mean he mutilated his own genitals, as he’s probably not cut seeing as he was born in Ireland and is not Jewish or Muslim?
Tobi
I’m not keen on the “gay” label either, do I have to prance about pretending to be happy to qualify? The LBGT acceptance of “straight” is even worse, as by default it means we’re defining ourselves as bent or crooked.
Cam
@onthemark:
Actually I Pointend out multiple times my problem with defenders if the closet performing erasure on the community.
What you have not been able to do is give one single justification for negating those terms other than when you slipped up and stated that people who have slept with their same sex would be afraid to admit to it and label themselves. So other than being a champion of the fear and bigotry of the closet you haven’t been able to put down any concrete reasons for why you are so wedded to this topic, or any reasons other than fear bigotry and the closet as to why it is in anyway helpful.
onthemark
@Cam: “when you slipped up and stated that people who have slept with their same sex would be afraid to admit to it and label themselves.”
Again, I didn’t say that (I don’t even see that anyone ELSE said that) but yeah I guess, now that YOU mention it… it’s extremely common for people in their teens and early 20s to cross that line into s/s and be a little terrified. In which case they might not be ready to “label” themselves, or to think that one incident brands them with a lifelong label. Historically this never has permanently labeled them (from the ancient world to the Kinsey era) and that’s basic Psychology 101 stuff. Now you want to brand any young person who experiments, with the permanent label “bisexual” (which probably dates only to the 1950s anyway) just to satisfy your own personal OCD on this subject. That’s pretty twisted. Almost a sadistic impulse on your part.
They are ignoring you anyway. Nobody is replying to you except me, and the only ammo you have left is why am I so “wedded to this topic.” WTF. I can be intrigued by this topic if I feel like it. Why are YOU so “wedded to this topic”? What makes you, some random cisgender gay guy, the authority on this issue? You’re not bisexual, it doesn’t affect you, it doesn’t threaten you. So why not listen to THEM?
What if those uppity bisexuals keep using the new terminology, despite your fulminations? What are you gonna do? It just doesn’t seem like a very practical plan to me (even if I agreed with you). Maybe you should stick to worrying about Mormons instead of worrying about bisexuals using the wrong word.
“as to why it is in anyway helpful.” Well, um, some of THEM say they find it helpful. That’s the whole point of these articles.
onthemark
@Cam: What’s so great about the word “bisexual” anyway? It’s also just a made-up word (probably dates only to the ’50s?) and more importantly, it’s just NOT very descriptive. Why are you so wedded to it?
Is there something magical (in YOUR mind) about the word bisexual where it fends off “the closet”? (Oooooh.) That hardly seems likely. Heterosexuals seem to generally think male bisexuals are gay anyway.
Cam
@onthemark:
And once again, you couldn’t provide anything to back up your point, and in trying to attack mine, you first denied saying and then REPEATED that people who have slept with their same gender might be afraid to “Label” themselves.
In other words, you just admitted that all of these B.S. extra names have the main reward of allowing people to avoid admitting the truth about themselves.
Look, if you yourself can’t even list out how this is beneficial any other way but protecting the closet, maybe you might want to rethink why you seem to wedded to the concept.
onthemark
@Cam: Hey, I’ve asked you several fairly easy, point-blank questions and you’ve ignored almost every single one of them!
“people who have slept with their same gender might be afraid to “Label” themselves.” Well, uh, maybe, if they are very YOUNG people. So what? That’s pretty common.
Nobody is saying that’s okay in the case of, for instance, a 40 year old man who’s married to a woman but having sex with 100 guys in a year! Don’t set up a whole new straw-man argument, yet again. But in the case of a teenager or very young adult – yeah, okay, so what?
There is nothing inherently closeted about the new terms. And there is nothing particularly UNcloseted about “bisexual.”
You’re in exactly the same position as a white guy 40 years ago telling a bunch of African-Americans: “Hey, the word N egro adequately explained everything! You people are promoting r@cism by forcing a new term on everyone!”
Don’t pretend you care about “bi-erasure.” You obviously don’t give a sh*t what bisexuals think about this subject. But you want very badly to change MY mind. Not gonna happen. Two weeks ago I thought you were probably the BEST poster on Queerty, but all you’ve done here is convince me that you’re seriously mentally ill.
onthemark
@Cam: WOW – I just noticed your comment in the Nick Jonas thread:
“So he’s another James Franco. I don’t mind, better to have them courting the LGBT crowd than attacking us.” – !!!
That’s nice, IMO, but it’s a complete contradiction of everything you say here in THIS thread.
Do you support young-ish celebrities experimenting with gay sex (or pretending to), while you attack young non-celebrities for doing the exact same thing?
Only2Genders
These are just mental disorders