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rainbow, not painbows

The 10 Absolute DOs and DONTs of the 2010 Pride Season

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Pride is back!!!11!@$**()!!!!!, bitches. And while everyone should enjoy celebrating queerness with our LGBT BFFs, some us inadvertently act like ain’t-got-no-sense bitches. Remember, a bunch of courageous transsexuals died for our right to dance drunkenly in angel wings and rainbow-colored Speedos. So by all means, rock out with your cock out (or jam out with your clam out), but while you’re at it here’s 10 helpful suggestions so you can take pride in your pride without pissing on someone else’s parade.

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By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           Jun 9, 2010
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 41 Comments
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      The biggest Do is “DO SHOW UP”. I am ever amazed at how many gay men think that Pride doesn’t belong to them because they aren’t 25, hot, hung, and horny. It’s all of us. The 25 y/o HHH’s, and the 65 y/o gay golfers. It’s your day- take it. For you.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 9:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
      PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

      I am so relieved I can continue my life now that the 10 Gay commandments have been delivered from Mt.Queerty…………

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      @Fitz: That’s because those are the “values” that are pushed on us, fitz : 25, hot hung, horny. Just look at the pic in this article. They look like they’re all under 25. Some of us are thankfully smart enough not to fall into that trap. Most of the kiddies aren ice but some of them do indeed look at you as if you’re from another planet just because you’re over 25.

      Another DO : Gay Pride should be abouy GAY PRIDE and GAY PRIDE only. You have some sort of political agenda/cause unrelated to Pride? Go demonstrate it elsewhere. Like I wrote elsewhere, the gay parade in Ottawa in 2003 was comprised largely of floats/displays totally unrelated to Pride. So much so that it hardly looked like a Pride parade!

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jason
      Jason

      GayPride in Denver is not for me.

      I prefer to be either ascending or already atop one of Colorados’s 14,000 foot peaks, thanks.

      Have fun though.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • joe
      joe

      Tho shall not hurl drinks or any items at your ex and his new bf. the gays cant aim and throw. ask the str8 couple standing next to me watching the parade last year. Priceless!

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      DON’T bareback with some guy you just met.

      DON’T act like it’s new years eve or your 21st birthday and get shitfaced.

      DO smile at cute guys

      DO pay attention to the community groups as they go by in the parade. They are working for you even though you don’t give a shit about them the rest of the year.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 11:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SSCHIEFRSHA
      SSCHIEFRSHA

      Gay pride is not for me just as Gay Clubs are not though I’m a 25 y/o. I cannot handle the body odor and the smell of beer. We’ll do the neighborhood lounge on pride night.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 11:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dave
      Dave

      DO: take Monday off of work.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 12:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12)
      DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12)

      @Jason:

      I’m the same way with Gay Pride where I live. No parade, last year had maybe 10 booths/vendors, most of whom failed to follow up with willing volunteers once it ended, and then crowded bars. *yawn*

      There is a more important part of being proud of who you are than a parade. I can just as easily show my Pride by hanging out with my friends, gay, straight, or bi, and just being myself. I can be involved with local groups presenting topics on GLB rights.

      The fact of the matter is that we ought to be making EVERY day a day of Pride, and that’s how I prefer to live. I don’t need a parade or party, I just need to be myself every day of the year.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 12:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • samthor
      samthor

      Frankly, I’m a little embarrassed that we have to tell members of our community NOT to take a shit in public. Anyone who does such a thing will be transferred to the Mormons, cause apparently they need magic underwear.

      On the other hand I would agree with: DO show up. Volunteer even. Get involved.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 12:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
      PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

      @DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12): I can somewhat agree with you. In some locales you ain’t gonna get massive turnouts. Its still good to have the Gay presence notated. In a place like NYC or LA when you get a zillion Gays en masse in one place it makes a nice statement for strhaters to see that there actually are lotso of Gays around………..

      Jun 9, 2010 at 12:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TonyD
      TonyD

      Do let your freak flag fly! Don’t bareback- pride is once a year, HIV is FOREVER. Also, I tell non-Denver locals to check non-cover gay bars/events for Pride events because they will be packed, not charging insane cover, putting watered down booze in tiny cups, in bars filled with out of town people, shoulder-to-shoulder unable to move. Also, don’t be an asshole- have some manners.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 1:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lostsleep
      Lostsleep

      I really liked the video about texting. I am always yelling at people about texting when we are out.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 2:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark Alexander
      Mark Alexander

      Well that was ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 3:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ThatBurningSensation
      ThatBurningSensation

      Thanks so much for featuring our latest video on pg 8 of your Top 10 Gay Pride DOs & DONTs! And we agree, don’t go texting in bars if you’re trying to look cute. That phone light from below is a boner killer. We love u, Queerty! xoxo – The Boys from That Burning Sensation

      Jun 9, 2010 at 3:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James Davis
      James Davis

      Where was DO appreciate the people and the work they’ve done for us to get here. Pride certainly should be a party, but it should be an inclusive party where we celebrate and remember those who have come before to ensure we have the (few) rights we have today. I think that is often times lost on the younger set who just want to parade around in their underwear. For certain let your freak flag fly, but remember why you can do so without ending up in jail or beaten up.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 4:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      Ok. I never saw some take a crap outside nor do I ever see someone swinging their schlong or exposing their muffin. I did seem some woman who got rid of their breast baring their scars proudly… I guess they were either in process or completed transsexuals.

      Of course, I go to the parades and don’t do the hanging out, beer slugging, cosmo sipping, getting trashed part of pride.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 4:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TonyD
      TonyD

      Seeing as Drag Queens and Bull Dykes bullied in NYC, to the point they couldn’t take it anymore, they retaliated against the police in 1969 at the Stonewall Inn started the US gay rights/Pride movement, I always thought it sad others felt the more “assimilated” should cover our “misfits” in parades and other events. To hell with that noise- EVERYONE deserves dignity, regardless of what they look like or how they act and how dare we forsake the ones who had the backbone to start the movement. When I say, “Let your freak flag fly,” I mean it-we’re all misfits in one way or the other, but deserve civil treatment regardless. How many more LGBTQs have to be bashed or die because they can’t assimilate to show us we can’t pick and choose who can/can’t represent who/what we think we are?

      Jun 9, 2010 at 5:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SamIAm
      SamIAm

      @Dave: Yep. Always known as Pride Boxing Day chez moi.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 5:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SamIAm
      SamIAm

      Avoid the parade in Toronto this years. The organizers have turned it into a pro-Israeli Apartheid rally.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Devon
      Devon

      Don’t take a crap in the middle of the street.

      …Is this something that even needs to be said? Do people actually do that at these things?

      Really?

      Jun 9, 2010 at 6:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Peter
      Peter

      “A bunch of courageous transexuals died for our right…….?

      When did this happen?

      Who died ?

      Get your facts straight on GAY history, please.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 7:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TonyD
      TonyD

      @Peter: Look up the Stonewall Riots, bub.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 7:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hephaestion
      hephaestion

      @TonyD: Nobody DIED in the Stonewall riots. Peter was just pointing out the error of Queerty’s statement “a bunch of courageous transsexuals died…”

      Luckily, few people turn to Queerty as a final source of information – I hope.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • damon459
      damon459

      I’m in Montana and we have a “pride” event but it’s so lame and costs to damn much to attend I thought it was about showing our pride to the community but I’d rather spend my hard earned money doing something else. I don’t know what it’s like in other cities but here it’s 50.00 for a weekend pass 125.00 a night per person for a hotel room plus over priced watered down drinks and there is the fact that Montana has just one gay bar and it’s 400 miles away from where pride is being held needless to say even thought I’ve been out and proud for 20 yrs now I’ve never been or a single pride event.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hephaestion
      hephaestion

      @damon459: You have to PAY to go to a gay pride celebration in Montana??? I never heard of such a thing! It’s free everywhere I’ve ever been. I guess it’s hard to pull off if you don’t have a huge pool of volunteers to draw on like we do in large cities. At least you get to enjoy that fabulous Montana scenery everyday for free!

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jimmi
      Jimmi

      @hephaestion: I think it was Queerty’s lame attempt at snarky humor.

      Jun 9, 2010 at 10:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dartmouth821
      dartmouth821

      I have a serious question here–kind of new to the community. Is poop play honestly that big of a thing that we need to warn against doing it publicly? I thought that was kind of a rare fetish… ?

      Jun 10, 2010 at 12:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan

      Straight people at Mardi Gras in NOLA go to the bathroom anywhere and everywhere. It’s about having great big crowds and too few public facilities.

      Jun 10, 2010 at 1:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael
      Michael

      Hard to follow a parade whilst dodging human feces on the street. If this sort of thing is prevalent, me thinks my feet will be elsewhere.

      Jun 10, 2010 at 2:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • carsen tyler
      carsen tyler

      Since I live in San Francisco, Pride is pretty hard to not go to. Haha last year I found myself running with a bunch of boys that were 5th graders when I was in 8th grade. Now they are 17 year olds who lied about where they were to their parents and the priests (they are all altar servers…I’m a youth minister). I had to help one of them find his backpack of clothes because he couldn’t show up at 7pm mass in nothing but a gold speedo. I freaking love pride month, but it’s true there are some pretty cool things outside of the parade. Like the film festival and the LGBT Prom is really fun.

      Jun 10, 2010 at 4:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DR
      DR

      @hephaestion:

      Mine has a cover as well….

      Jun 10, 2010 at 7:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeffree
      jeffree

      If you see PFLAG moms & dads at Pride, say thank you….!

      If one of our Sapphic Sisters on Two Wheels (Dýkës on Bikes) offers to let you have a ride, don’t agree if you’re afraid of motorcycles & have just consumed a 32 ounce Margarita! Not that Im speaking of personal experience !

      If you’re a big city person and have the chance to go to a not-so-big city Pride, GO! I went to one in Rockford IL and another one in upstate New York & they were still a BLAST.

      Wear sunscreen! Share sunscreen!

      Bring “moist wipes” to wipe away all the stale beer that gets spilled on you, to erase lipstick traces from overly zealous kissy people, and to remove excess glitter from passing floats. Sharing your moist towlettes with other Pride people may cause you to be insanely popular. A box of like 50 costs about $3.00. You’ll thank me for this in July.

      Peace out!

      Jun 10, 2010 at 9:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      @dartmouth821: Not so much scat play as poor port-a-john planning, combined with warm beer and mystery-meat-on-a-stick.

      Jun 10, 2010 at 9:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TonyD
      TonyD

      @damon459: My error, my bad about the transgenders dying at Stonewall.

      Diff subject: Pride shouldn’t cost, but more and more “sponsors” and politicians swoop in each year and greedy club owners boost covers, and that’s when you have private parties/bbqs/events/look for local groups trying not to milk your wallet. A local Denver bar has a free bbq each year, reasonable drinks, it fills up, but not shoulder to shoulder, and tons of parties everywhere- just ask locals in advance.

      Jun 10, 2010 at 1:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dellbert
      Dellbert

      DO thank Qweerty for making us not take ourselves all too seriously all the time!
      DO smile!!! There’s no reason to not!
      DON’T be so wrapped up in your cliques, popped collars, and iPhones! That’s really big here in Denver!!!
      DO have a wonderful Pride!!!

      Jun 10, 2010 at 3:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Diya
      Diya

      @SamIAm: Good. Israel is a terrorist nation. I’m glad the homos in Toronto are acknowledging this.

      Jun 10, 2010 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Diya
      Diya

      @Aaron: This might come as a newsflash to you, but gay people have other identities – shocker, I know.

      By your logic, ethnic pride festivals should ban gay people from marching b/c that would be detracting from the original intent of the parade, right?

      If it bothers you so much, don’t come! Judging by your bitter old man attitude, no one will miss ya!

      Jun 10, 2010 at 5:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Really
      Really

      DO try not to be nude – That shiny ass or fine pair of breasts bared in public sets the entire worldwide gay movement back 50 years. What’s with all the dongs and breasts hanging out at Pride anyway?

      DO wear your funkiest clothes and craziest costumes.

      Jun 11, 2010 at 8:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SamIAm
      SamIAm

      @Diya: Well, that’s the problem. The organizers of the Pride Parade SUPPORT that, and have barred opponents from the parade.

      Jun 11, 2010 at 1:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Syl
      Syl

      God, this article was awful! All those Don’ts must have been done before, or else the author would not have mentioned them. And yet the same article says “Bring the family! It’ll introduce them to our diverse and wonderful rainbow!” Yeah, the last thing heteros need to see after their son comes out is “an HIV-Positive Leather Daddy”. These parades do more harm than good. The Christian wackos refer to them and their excesses in their propaganda as somehow “proof” that we’re all evil, “disordered”, sinful freaks. We need to be projecting the image that we’re just as boring, vanilla, normal, family-friendly, Christian, and American as heteros, just…gay. The khaki, dress shirts, and loafer-wearing, SUV and a mortgage, part of the PTA and neighborhood watch, monogamous or at least pretends to be monogamous pro-monogamy in public, upright member of the community sort of normal. Not some death-worshipping bunch of alcoholic, coprophile, disease-spreading sex maniacs!

      Jun 16, 2010 at 4:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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