The End of Gay Speak (Tear)

They (whoever they are) say all good things must come to an end. While we’re not sure if Gay Speak, our nonsensical pursuit of the best homo words and phrases, qualifies as a good thing, it’s ending anyway. Yeah, we know, it’s hard for us, too.

We’ll always cherish our memories of Robert’s offensive soy chaser for those with an Asian attraction, Mikey’s poo packer, and Joey’s gash masher. Jim’s multiple suggestions will always hold a special place in our hearts, particularly mangina muncher and sperm burper, which will never, ever stop being gross. We’ll even fondly recall Jeffrey’s lamely quaint response: normal child of God. (Honey, you may be normal, but we bet most of the people reading this are total freaks. Ourselves included, of course.)

After much head scratching, pacing, and a few frustrated tears, we’ve selected our favorite Gay Speak suggestion: Barry’s cum belching gutter slut. Congratulations, Barry, you must be so proud, you sicko! Our apologies to PJ, whose cum guzzling gutter slut was a close second. The image of burping up semen, however, disturbed us in all right ways. Barry, send your gorgeous editor an email with your address and we’ll get your special prize along ASAP.