You have to wonder what Larry Craig is thinking to himself today, as the world writes his political obituary. His legal options for overturning his guilty plea extinguished, he returns to private life this month with a legacy flushed down the toilet in a bathroom stall at the Minneapolis St. Paul Airport. We’d pity Senator Craig, who was the target of a police sting specifically designed to catch gay men, were it not for his toe-tapping hypocritical ways. He supported the Federal Marriage Amendment, which would outlaw gay marriage. He voted against ENDA. He voted against the Local Law Hate Crimes Prevention Act.
In the end, he was the victim of his own intolerance and to this day, maintains he’s not gay. Well, Larry– if it’s any consolation, we don’t want any part of you, either. But before we say goodbye to you forever, let’s take one last trip down memory lane.
August 27, 2007: News breaks that Larry Craig was arrested in Minnesota for “lewd conduct” but pleaded down to a lesser charge.
“Here’s a bit of the arresting officer’s side:
I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position. Craig would look down at his hands, ‘fidget’ with his fingers, and then look through the crack into my stall again. Craig would repeat this cycle for about two minutes.
…
“My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall. From my seated position, I could observe the shoes and ankles of Craig seated to the left of me.
…
At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area…The officer then flashed his badge and Craig – who, again, denied Mike Rogers’ gay allegations last October – attempted to resist, but eventually went peacefully. He got fingerprinted and fined. And then, again, he pleaded guilty on August 8th. That is, he admitted it.
Craig also attempted to explain the game of footsie by saying he “that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine”. Shit, even Bob Allen’s racism’s more believable than that.
We have to say, however, we’re a bit disappointed. The mental picture would have been gross, but wouldn’t it have been rad if Craig got caught getting fisted or something actually lewd?”
September 1: A few days later, amid calls from his Republican colleagues to step down, Craig resigned from his Senate seat.
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“In his statement, Craig preferred not to highlight his Republican colleague’s calls for his head. Instead, the 62-year old anti-gay politico placed blame on his legal battle to clear his lewd name:
…To pursue my legal options as I continue to serve Idaho would be an unwanted and unfair distraction from my job and for my Senate colleagues.
…
It is with sadness and deep regret that I announce that it is my intent to resign from the Senate, effective September 30. In doing so, I hope to allow for a smooth and orderly transition for my loyal staff, and for the person appointed to take my place…”
September 5th:
“Just kidding,” says Craig, who took Arlen Specter’s advice and decided to not resign, because he’s not gay, ok?
“The toilet cruiser’s spokesman released the following statement:
Sen. Craig still intends to resign. That being said, Sen. Craig wants it clear he’s fighting these charges, both in Minneapolis and in the Senate Ethics Committee, and if the wheels of justice are able to turn quick enough, meaning before Sept. 30, he may – and I emphasize may – not resign.”
Pretty much every Republican in Washington abandons Craig after his resignation turnaround.
“The White House won’t be backing Larry Craig’s resignation turn-around. Said spokeswoman Dina Perino: “I don’t think that our views have changed but, of course, this is the Senator’s decision and the Senator’s seat.”
And Craig continued to support anti-gay legislation
“Not two weeks after pleading guilty to lewd conduct, Republican Senator Larry Craig defended Don’t Ask Don’t Tell: the discriminatory policy barring gays from serving in the military. In an August 17th letter obtained by PageOneQ, Craig write to a voter:
I am glad you shared your suggestions with me. As you know, the Department of Defense’s policy on this issue is commonly referred to as a “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy and would not allow for singling out homosexuals. In addition, I don’t believe the military should be a place for social experimentation. The sole mission of the armed forces is to defend the United States.
…The issue is not fairness, but military effectiveness. The armed forces exist to wage war. It is unacceptable to risk the lives of American soldiers and sailors merely to accommodate the sexual lifestyles of certain individuals.”
September 17: The ACLU, however, came out in support of the disgraced senator, saying he may have been “unconstitutionally trapped”.
“ACLU argues that Minneapolis police – and others across the nation – do not take significant steps to ensure targets are actually soliciting sex. Carnal invitations, they say, are protected by free speech laws and coppers must be 100% clear people are, in fact, paying for sex, rather than trolling for free.”
Soon, Larry Craig’s alleged former lovers were coming out of the woodwork:
A 40-yer-old D.C. insider.
Ted Haggard escort Mike Jones, who in all fairness, is probably lying.
A grizzly bear.
“Hennepin County District Judge Charles Porter found Craig had entered the guilty plea “accurately, voluntarily and intelligently” and it was too late to withdraw his admission.
In a sharply worded, 27-page order, the judge found the Idaho Republican had freely given his plea after extensive discussions with prosecutors and after waiving his right to an attorney.
“The defendant, a career politician with a college education, is of at least above-average intelligence,” Porter wrote. “He knew what he was saying, reading and signing.”
Oct. 10:
‘Wide stance’ became a national punchline.
“Craig ended the interview by insisting – as we already know – he’ll go ahead and appeal his case. “On the grounds that we don’t get a fair shot. That I want a right to defend myself in a court of law.” You didn’t get a fair shot? That’s not exactly the best grounds for appeal we’ve heard, but if you think it’s going to help what you call the “toughest fight” of your political life.
If you ask us, it’s the fight of his political death and last night’s interview probably didn’t help his case. In fact, it made him look more sleazy and suspect than ever!”
October 19: People paid people to throw toilet paper at Larry.
March 11, 2008: Larry Craig fails in court again.
“It’s official! Larry Craig’s the most pathetic disgraced politico in human history.
According to the AP, the toilet trolling Senator’s legal team are again asking a judge to let him withdraw his disorderly conduct guilty plea.
Attorneys for U.S. Senator Larry Craig are asking the Minnesota Court of Appeals to correct a “manifest injustice” by allowing the Idaho Republican to withdraw his guilty plea stemming from an airport restroom sex sting.
…
Defense attorneys argued that even though Craig may have pleaded guilty to avoid publicity and face a more serious charge, that doesn’t change the fact that the plea is inaccurate.The Court of Appeals had not yet set a time for oral arguments.”
April 25:
He spends over $400,000 trying to prove he doesn’t like to have sex with men.
January 9, 2008: Sad old Larry Craig has given up and he might not have had to if he just came out.
*Cord Jefferson & Andrew Belonsky contributed to the reporting of this article.
Dave
The Rise and Fall of…. well a rather confused former Senator, whom we shall certainly not miss.
Chip
Let’s leave the poor guy alone, and hope that he will be able to look inside and decide who and what he really is.
Amber LeMay
It wasn’t a sting to catch gay men, it was a sting to catch men who choose to have sex in a public bathroom. Most of the men who do this, and I’ve “known” a “few” would, as Larry Craig, deny they are gay.
Roy Pyatt
@ Chip perhaps you could remind bigots like Sen. Craig to leave GLBT’s alone and to stop trying to engage in illegal activies. Oh and remind the police to spend more resources locating fugitives and solveing more serious crimes.
hardmannyc
It reallly wasn’t much of a fall. It’s my understanding that he was considered little more than a party apparatchik even by other GOP senators. In other words, at best a nonentity. One of the quirks of the Senate is that, by having two from every state regardless of population, states that are sparsely populated often send senators who are marginally qualified at best (not that the populated ones don’t send morons).
Billvie Bicks
Larry Craig is a fag.
Geoff
I’m from Idaho, and good ol’ Larry has been trolling the hallways of the state capitol and other venues for a very very long time. He’s a self loathing hypocrite very much like the former Mayor West of Spokane Washington. Both were publicly anti gay, working to block any legislation that might be termed ‘gay friendly’, and both were closet queers. Larry has been embroiled in gay scandal since the 1980s but because of his effectiveness in Washington DC and his constant denial of any gay accusations, he has remained in office. It’s funny the Idaho Statesman was doing a very avid expose on Larry just as the story broke. Seems the fates decided enough was enough. He’s done so much harm to Idaho’s LGBT population…and btw…the money he used to fight his little “bathroom problem”…was paid for out of campaign money still in his coffers. Congress prevented him from using any more of his ‘free money for further legal bills and I’m sure the real reason he is abandoning any further appeals is that he simply cannot afford it. He’s a terrible guy.
CondeNasty
Chip darling….the man is a socipath not worthy of our pity. I hope he lives a long dreary sexless life reflecting on ghosts in his closet.
Danielle
The Larry Craig hand turkeys are from the highly entertaining blog Princess Sparkle Pony (http://www.sparklepony.blogspot.com/), which I recommend for political humor.
dvlaries
Instinct tells me he ‘gave up the fight’ because Mrs. Wide Stance finally laid the overdue ultimatum: “You waste one more goddamn dime on lawyers, and the next one hired is going to be mine, then maybe I go public with the stories I can tell…”
Vartan Hagopian
Why do any of you feel you have the right to say these horrible things about another human being? It is obvious he is trying to get well, and he looks better than he has in months. Not everyone in the world is blessed with classic beauty, but he is a beautiful man in his own right, especially when he is happy and smiling. Yes, he has made mistakes, who hasn’t? But in his defense, at least he only hurts himself. That is more than I can say for you losers sitting at home, safely behind your anonymous computers, trying to tear down a person who is already fragile. Why don’t you pick on someone to their face, where they can defend themselves. I know why, because you would get your asses kicked. You are all weak and small and I can’t imagine what you could possibly gain from talking about another human being in this way. Get a life and stop hurting others to make yourself feel better.
Charles J. Mueller
@Vartan Hagopian:
Before you go off on the virtues of this closet case, suppose you check out his voting records with respect to all gay legislation that passed before him and then tell us what a “beautiful” man this is???
He voted “no” on every single piece of legislation that would have benefited gays. Still want to lick his ass?
Dave
@Vartan Hagopian: Oh really? Well clearly you don’t intend to lead by example here. Well I have no more to say to you ‘Rose Giver’, (origin of Vartan), other then to suggest that if you really want to defend Craig’s honor try substantiating your allegations.
AnotherFag
Gay? Does anyone even understand what “gay” means? Craig is nothing more than a self-hating homosexual. “Gay” is reserved for those of us real men who know who we are and choose not to hide and fight for the rights and recognition we deserve as full citizens of this society.
derek
@Vartan Hagopian: Vartan, are you for real? And Dave, I think it means ‘Rose-colored Glasses’ not ‘Rose Giver. At any rate, sweet Vartan, this misguided man has spent great energies in his attempts to keep us from achieving equality in this country. You can pity him all you want, but I believe he deserves what he gets. He’s a despicable creature.
stevenelliot
Being thrown out of south carloina with my lover if 20 years (18 years when we were exiled), I have absolutely no pity for L Craig. He is the type of shit that devised our departure.
Craig talks out of both sides of his crooked mouth. On one hand he is sexually attracted to males. But, on the other, he likes his power even more. This importance and power can only be perpetuated by discriminating against his own. He is Judas.
There is a special place in hell reserved for traitors…..
scott
just when i think Karma doesn’t exist, i then see an example that it might just be a real thing.
i seriously can’t understand why his wife wouldn’t divorce him and take his sorry ass to the cleaners.
i would be more generous with my compassion towards this creature except he supported (or even started) acts against the gays so really eff him. Bastard.
Dave
@derek: Perhaps that is more apt… ( http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Vartan.html ) I was curious about the name and after verifying the name was most definitely not an anagram looked it up; in hindsight I should have looked it up first – you know what they say about cats and curiosity 😉
hells kitchen guy
“Vartan, are you for real?”
No, he’s not. He’s a typical troll who comments on sites like this to get a reaction. Which he did, thanks to the clueless people who believed his stupid screed.