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  WHACK RECORD

The Ex-Gays Now Have A Theme Song That’s Incredibly Gay, Incredibly Awful

Condragulations to Dennis Jernigan, winner of the create your own ex-gay theme song contest. Yep, you read that correctly.

Voice of the Voiceless, those courageous souls battling the so-called oppression of ex-gays, ran a contest this summer and the winning tune made its wholly unimpressive debut at the “First Annual Ex-Gay Awareness Dinner.” In attendance was the “who’s that?” of the ex-gay movement, some 60 Christian leaders comfortably fitting into “a super-secret bunker deep under Washington D.C.,” reports Joe My God.

At least it was a better turnout than the handful of former homos that showed up to that epic fail of a rally held back in July. Dennis Jernigan, an ex-gay singer/songwriter (oxymoron)  was also there to perform his delusional inspirational ballad. Sure it sounds like part of an aborted score even Andrew Lloyd Weber found too treacly, but we’ll give it to Dennis — that queen can carry a note.

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Oct 3, 2013
Tagged: , ,

  • 21 Comments
    • Callum
      Callum

      Just ’cause they’re ex-gay, doesn’t mean they’re ex-show-tune… ;)

      Oct 3, 2013 at 11:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache1
      Stache1

      Oh god. How sappy. This is another jesus loving song restyled for the ex dipshits.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 1:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      So… they call themselves “ex-gay”?

      Isn’t that strange? I don’t call myself “ex-straight”. I’m just “gay”.

      So, somehow, somewhere, deep inside those sad little men, they are still attached to being “gay”.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 1:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carlton Raines
      Carlton Raines

      Someone needs to do a high energy remix of this,and turn it into a gay anthem just to remind this guy, that sleeping with women does not mean you dont like men, Its called being bi sexual,

      Oct 3, 2013 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • yaoming
      yaoming

      Not the worst song ever and the performance definitely helped. Sounded like something you’d hear on a Christian radio station driving through North Carolina or something.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ouragannyc
      ouragannyc

      I thought the song was nice. I just don’t agree with the bigotry motives behind it.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 4:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • phillybb
      phillybb

      sorry, I could not make it through the whole song as I was getting ready to barf!!! When this song starts out with dreaming a dreaming and reality…….I was losing my lunch! Oh, by the way, so I am not totally rude, congrats on winning the song contest between you and the other 1/2 person that entered

      Oct 3, 2013 at 4:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GlitterKidder
      GlitterKidder

      Go Sis go!

      Oct 3, 2013 at 4:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ogre Magi
      Ogre Magi

      I utterly despise christians

      Oct 3, 2013 at 4:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Horse Lips
      Horse Lips

      I can’t even listen. I’ll trust you on this one.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 5:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • breslowilario
      breslowilario

      my buddy’s ex-wife makes *67 hourly on the laptop. She has been without work for five months but last month her pay was *13537 just working on the laptop for a few hours. More about the author…….
      url.mn/d6a9f44

      Oct 3, 2013 at 5:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache1
      Stache1

      @MikeE: This is a group created by a very well known hate group (the family research council). Ex-gay keeps the myth that change is possible going and good for fundraising. Just a marketing tool.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 6:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dm10003
      dm10003

      Joyless.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 6:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ridgelineranger
      ridgelineranger

      Hmmm. Guess this will get added to the playlist rotation at Hobby Lobby.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 8:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cyn
      Cyn

      This isn’t a coming out song? snerk

      Oct 3, 2013 at 10:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zappa123
      zappa123

      “At least it was a better turnout than the handful of former homos that showed up to that epic fail of a rally held back in July.
      NOTE: to Upworthy – when referring to people we say, “… handful of homos WHO not THAT.
      OY VEY
      This is the stupidest organization of people I have ever seen. They meet b/c they are all ‘ex-gay’ and expect any of us to believe that they are not all banging each other secretly at the end of every meeting. I am not convinced.

      Oct 3, 2013 at 11:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sansacro
      Sansacro

      Dudes a little stiff; needs some serious prostrate stimulation for that tension in his jaw, neck, and shoulders. I say we send a 21-year-old strapping ranch hand down there to help him: put an end to that sham.

      Oct 4, 2013 at 12:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • cdinsf
      cdinsf

      I love the cute little painted Dutch wooden shoes on the bookcase behind him!

      Oct 4, 2013 at 11:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Dalmas
      Joe Dalmas

      How many “esses” are there in “destiny”?

      Oct 4, 2013 at 12:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gayambassador
      gayambassador

      where is the video?

      Oct 5, 2013 at 3:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • concretedonkey
      concretedonkey

      @gayambassador:

      here’s where I found the video link on YouTube…

      Mar 23, 2014 at 2:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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