If you’re of a certain age — let’s say you were alive when Star Wars was first released in theaters — you’ve probably been deep in a spirited pop culture-related conversation only to have some whippersnapper ask something like “Who’s Gena Rowlands?” or “What’s Rosemary’s Baby?” or, most criminal of all, “Who is John Waters?”
That’s what happens in this video when a gay guy (comic master Sam Pancake) and an obnoxious young queen (rising funny man Brian Jordan Alvarez) are having a chit-chat that quickly devolves into heated conversation about cultural reference points. It’s comedy, but, you know, with a very important message and reminds us that great sex helps overcome almost any obstacle.
Watch it below and let us know about your own experiences with the gay generational gap.
Alistair Corvin
Which is why I don’t try to get a relationship
Jon Welsh
I appreciate the differences. Opportunities to both teach and learn
Tim Hager
I’ve had a 20+ yr old ask who Melissa Etheridge was and thinks Britney is Queen. ð??±
BritAus
To be fair a lot of Gen Y’s know who John Waters is because of Hairspray the Musical.
But the other stuff Pancake’s character is on about would be known more to a Baby Boomer than a Gen X (I’m assuming that’s who he is) or a film buff.
And is Brian Jordan Alvarez young enough to be playing a Gen Y character??
No T no shade (no pink lemonade)
Gus Anderson
I blame the AIDS pandemic. A generation of the gay community was basically erased. Based on sheer numbers of the age range which was taken from us at the peak of the disease’s death march through the gay community….we have a Pre and Post and a Memory, a memory which the Post doesn’t even know.
Silver Veloz
Yes, and it’s hilarious watching them turn 30…they totally freak out. They have no idea that life really does start at 30.
Jon Welsh
I taught Edith Piaf and learned Biance. win/win
MarionPaige
And you know what …
It’s not just the “knowing” it is about the timeframe of the experience. For example,
When a twenty something year old sees a movie like The Exorcist, or A Clockwork Orange or even something like Parting Glances, it is a completely different experience from that of a person who saw these movies in their time. Another thing,
Is a twenty something year old even capable of blogging about Gay Adult? With a lot of things in life, a younger person can just be well read and know things. However, there is not a lot of literature out there about the history of gay adult. Which is what makes Buzzfeed’s can we guess your age with gay porn stars so funny.
Glücklich
Strictly with regard to the video, I couldn’t care less about generational reference points but I would shoot anyone in the face who sounded whiny and airheaded like the younger guy. There’s a place for people like that: the employee smoking area of your nearest Bloomingdale’s.
Finrod
Little Edie? She doesn’t look little to me!
I grew up in the 60s, but most everyone my age knew who Greta Garbo and Rudolph Valentino were. Maybe a better screening is in order if you’re going to bring them home. If you don’t care if they’re idiots, just do them in the men’s room and go home alone.
And…… once again, two comments in ten minutes and Queerty tells me that I’m posting comments too quickly.
Mark Engledow
Britney ain’t fit to shine the shoes of Madonna & Melissa, let alone the great divas: Cher, Bette, Babs, Judy.
I blame Grindr. And AIDS. And Canada.
LaShawn Martin
I don’t have any issues with age gaps unless it’s illegal. I only have an issue with smart ass remarks like in this article. “Whippersnapper” is one of them. Don’t talk down to or about a young guy because he hasn’t lived through your same struggles as a gay man or even cultural references. We have our own struggles to experience and our own “Queens” of pop culture. I take serious offense to someone that has something to say about my age.
Alan C Miller
Well, that age gap thing does piss me off sometimes because of ironic ignorance: if you have songs on your mp3 player that are mostly one or two artists and their songs from late 80s and early 90s hip-hop and rap music, you should at least know who the artist is. If you listen to Public Enemy but don’t know who Chuck D is, sure I’ll get pissed. 🙂
Ralph Vendegna
Like DRAMA on one who seems not to get what is being said. Age difference is not a problem for me and should not be for anyone else. Just because were Gay does not cut it. {Look at Str8 couples our Parents, Grand Parents Aunts and Uncles. They may be close but one is generally older than the other.} So WHY should it be such a drama and go bonkers in the Gay Community. Really It Should Not Matter.
Peter Ahmed Bettou
I m 27 i feel like I lived so long already
Stephen Sottile
Not knowing John Waters made me howl…..he loses his gay card forever.
AlliterationAddict
I grew up in Maryland, where knowing John Waters is practically the law. But seriously, both generations created some incredible stuff, and it goes both ways. It’s a real pity that a lot of young people like me aren’t familiar with the classics. Stanley Kubrick immediately springs to mind, because I love his work, but there’s a lot out there that I don’t know about and should. It goes both ways, though. A lot of older people aren’t familiar with some of the brilliant stuff that this generation is doing. The internet has made it possible for mass media to sidestep mainstream channels, so there’s a lot of content being created that was never possible twenty years ago. There’s more to this than just – oh, those stupid kids, they don’t know about Rosemary’s Baby and use the internet a lot
Rick Holtz
One of the reasons I’ve never been attracted to anyone younger than myself. Youth really is wasted on the young.
Jerry Morse
I love the ending!
John Malin
Sorry the article is silly! It’s not just about gays, it’s about the education younger people are getting. Ask anyone these questiions. Who said this and who were they talking about, when it was said, “She had the face that launched a thousand ships!” The blank stares are illuminating!
Ed Chan
Internet… Refrigerator…
Chris Sledge
First thing if a person doesn’t know the things from your generation off hand teach them (hell your the one robbing the cradle put some energy into the relationship) and it doesn’t mean you can’t be a match it just gives them something new to experience (first person I like loved rock I had never listen to that genre of music before but I gave it a shot now I enjoy it a little)
Also on a side note the guy in the video was a little too old to be playing that young and dumb and a smart person would’ve just nodded his head and googles what you don’t know later
Glücklich
@John Malin:
Helen of Troy, right?
AlliterationAddict
@John Malin: Helen of Troy, from The Illiad. But there’s more to an education nowadays than classics. You could argue that programming and IT is more functional in this economy. Even within the scope of humanities, you’ve got kids who will debate if superheroes are the new Greek myth or what Breaking Bad says about obsession. Claiming that they’re somehow stupid because they’re not enthusiastic about Homer and Melville is just shortsighted. Personally, Moby Dick bored me to tears, but that doesn’t make me stupid.
Ladbrook
I’ve noticed this a lot. As a group, I think of the under-28 crowd as “proudly ignorant.” But with that in mind, they grew up with the internet and 200 channels on cable – so if they don’t know who Ginger Rogers is, then it’s probably because they’ve had too many choices. (Most of them can’t even identify Diana Ross… much less Fanny Brice.)
Life WAS different for those of us over 50. I grew up sitting on my grandmother’s couch watching old John Wayne and Bette Davis movies. I knew all the old Hollywood musicals, and was addicted to I Love Lucy reruns. And all of that stuff was produced 20-30 years before I was born. Of course, we didn’t have the internet; we had the Encyclopedia Britannica, AM radio, and three channels on the telly.
So yeah… cut them a break (I usually do), but only if they are aware of their ignorance and very anxious to learn how to do the Time Warp!
Robert Becker
Just remember…. the rights you enjoy were fought for by that “old” guy. Your ability to feel comfortable as a gay person were paid for by the blood and struggles of those who went before. Don’t take it for granted. You stand on the shoulders of us old folk.
John Ruff
Listen….We are all the same, thats what we fought for….But you dont choose who you will fall in love with, believe me, I had it all for 20 wonderful years, and when he died, he took a large part of me with him….Life is too short to be miffed about the generation gap.. Live and love while you can, hopefully with the person, no matter what age, is the one you were meant to be with.
Chris
It’s not just a gay thing; anyone who has nieces and nephews (or even children) will tell you that it’s a generational thing. ….. And frankly, I didn’t know a lot of my parents’ and grandparents’ cultural reference points either. So, meh.
Glücklich
@AlliterationAddict:
See, I’d forgotten Helen of Troy was from the Illiad. My third or fourth grade class read (parts) of the Odyssey all that year and it wasn’t like I went to Exeter.
As someone who is 36, my complaint of 20-somethings is less about book-smarts and more about work ethic. For whatever reason I have a workaholism gene. I accept not everyone enjoys working as much as I do nor does everyone enjoy a very buttoned-up corporate environment. But subtract ten or twelve years from my age and everyone is more interested in playing Angry Birds or some such and expects to be given the corner office right off the bat. Too many think they’re doing their bosses a favor by, y’know, *doing their job*. No one wants to pay their dues anymore.
Will Glitzern
Too funny! But my partner probably has no idea who Gena Rowlands is–he’s watching football right now. We’re both around 50. And I hate football.
mada
It’s rather fun that the article is tongue and cheek, and it has devolved in a comments section feud. Hatfields and McCoys all the way!! (See if you can get that reference without Googling it! Pretty common, yeah?)
I’m just going to start off by saying – I’m a late 20 something who had an older father who raised me fairly well. I know these older cultural points because of him and SOME 90’s TV. I don’t know ALL of these Pop cultural reference points, but I edu-muh-cated myself on them. I know John Waters, Bette Davis. I’m WELL versed in the history of Judy Garland (Thanks, Judy Davis). I know old Silver-screen and Golden age Hollywood actors/actresses as well. Olivia DeHavilland. Agnes Moorehead. Errol Flynn. (Easy Bonus points, if you can name a single actor/actress who co-starred with them!)
I will sit here and say, “Yes, young gays are pretty naive and uneducated about past cultural points, just watch RuPaul’s drag race during the Snatch Game segments.” That doesn’t make them terrible human beings, but maybe they will LOOOOOVE what you have to tell them about. You know, just rip their smart phones out of their face, they’ll love that — or perhaps, find a common ground!
My point – not all 20 somethings are stupid or ignorant. It’s JUST a new generation. The portrait of Dorian Gray (or some other gay) is just getting older in the attic. 😉 They’ll realize later than never…
Glücklich
@mada:
Bette Davis costarred with both Olivia de Havilland and Agnes Moorehead *in the same film*! One of my faves, “Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxBvn_-WIo4
Glücklich
@Ladbrook:
What I like is hearing about 70’s urban depravity and decay from people who lived it. I want to hear about New York, L.A., Chicago, and SF in the 70’s and 80’s when they were still dangerous dirty places. The art and music scenes. How easy it was to pull up stakes, hop on the back of someone’s motorcycle and ride across the country with no plan, no money, no job, and just land wherever and start a new life.
I had fantasies once of running away from a job I DESPISED to work on a family farm, like “Troublesome Creek” (gorgeous documentary) or the rural Carolinas but to do what I don’t know.
AlliterationAddict
@Glücklich: Yeah, I hear you on that. I think some of that culture comes from the rise of Silicon Valley, where if you’re a smart young coder, you actually can get that corner office right off the bat. And there are certainly some people from my generation who feel entitled to that, which is a problem because most of them just don’t have the skill or the work ethic. And there are also some people who don’t give folks who’ve worked their way up the respect they deserve, which is also wrong. But on the flip side, economically this generation has been given the rawest deal since World War II. And there are a lot of young adults, especially people of color, who are working incredibly hard and still can’t make ends meet. So there’s that, too. And there is something a bit sketchy about this narrative of kids nowadays just not working hard enough while at the same time we’re hiking college tuition, keeping the minimum wage flat and weakening the social safety net, especially when those ‘kids nowadays’ tend to have darker skin. I’m not disagreeing with you, because there is definitely a lot of truth to what you are saying, but I also think there’s another dimension to it.
Matthew Sirvent
Casey Andrews you and I talking. ð???
Christopher Jay Conley
Peter DeJong
Jonathonz
I live for Gena Rowlands in Woman Under the Influence.
Richard Tgramps Bower
HMMM well Ron (81) and I (70), were at the Denver Eagle late Sat. Night… very slow night…. and we were ‘hit’ on by two under 30 muscled young men… even handsome.. even though I am not into them.. Ron.. will have to speak for himself… lol they wanted to know is we were partners…. after a few moments of explanation… told us both that were very hot and sexy…. WOW….. and as I hobbled out to the car with my cane at hand…. we kind of laughed about it as a nice evening….. my usual line when someone, young, comes up and says. “Hi I love older men”… is “Great so do I” heheh
MarionPaige
@Jonathonz: “I live for Gena Rowlands in Woman Under the Influence.”
I have fond memories of her in Gloria. Just looked up the movie at wikipedia and was surprised to see all of the movies that it is claimed Gloria inspired.
The scene in Gloria where Gena Rowlands flips a car over by firing at it with a pistol was something very “out there” for a movie of the time, especially for a female character.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spakHivNyFQ
topshelf
I’m 40 and I have no idea who Gena Rowlands is or what Rosemerry’s baby is either. So maybe I’m a terrible gay. It’s a pet peeve of mine when people reference a constant string of movie and TV scenes while having everyday conversation.Just today, someone was referencing Breaking Bad in our conversation. When they found out I hadn’t seen it, they absolutely insisted that I had to binge watch it. Enough with the fucking TV show and obscure movie references. I’m not going to sit in front o the TV for hours and fucking watch Breaking Bad, or Rosemary’s Baby.
Corey J Hodges
It’s our (the older generation’s) fault. We collectively didn’t spend time cultivating a sound gay culture – instead we were busy objectifying each other, resisting aging, body shaming, classifying and segregating ourselves. And, now, here we are. Baby gays that have no sense of the community that once existed because we were all too preoccupied to mentor…
MarionPaige
@topshelf: “I’m 40 and I have no idea who Gena Rowlands is or what Rosemerry’s baby is either.”
Gena Rowlands and her husband John Cassavetes (who was in Rosemary’s Baby) started the independent film making movement. And, everyone has likely seen a movie that was influenced by Rosemary’s Baby.
Whenever I walk home in NYC instead of taking the Subway, I pass The Dakota – the apartment building where Rosemary’s Baby was filmed (and where John Lennon was shot).
Andrew Webb
Age gap full stop. This really isn’t a uniquely gay issue.
Tina Carlson
LOL, watch the video, Ted Carlson
RyanC
@AlliterationAddict: It’s actually from Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe, a contemporary of Shakespeare’s, talking about Helen of Troy. Not actually from the Iliad
avesraggiana
@Tim Hager: “Britney is Queen”. LIKE!!!
NJjoe
It’s a generation thing gay and str8. However these young queens will get older someday and there will be another divider among generations. These young queens out there partying like no tomorrow will eventually get it and they won’t have the IT factor anymore.
notevenwrong
@AlliterationAddict, “But on the flip side, economically this generation has been given the rawest deal since World War II. And there are a lot of young adults, especially people of color, who are working incredibly hard and still can’t make ends meet.”
That is true, but it is not a generational thing. Many of us Generation X-ers are also struggling mightily to make ends meet. I am in my 40s and despite working hard and being highly educated I am stuck in a backwater with no mobility. (Academic jobs are like hen’s teeth.) Like Glücklich, I mightily envy the culture in the 60-70s when Boomers could basically up and move anywhere and have a reasonable expectation of somehow falling on their feet.
A lot of these are Boomer references, though. I didn’t get most of them (Geena who?) so I am no position to criticize.
Derrick M. Miller
That’s why you don’t date someone 20 years your junior lol
Dev.C
I feel like this is a little unfair because I’m 26 and I pretty much got all those references. I understand if you asked a 23 year old these things and them not knowing but we are still a few years away from most gay men in their late 20’s not understanding who John Waters is, gosh that’s a scary thought.
QJ201
I have a colleague who was raised poor on a farm in central CA. She get’s none of my 70s and 80s pop culture references.
New Logo TV Show:
The Weakest Twink. Gay history for millennials.
NJjoe
@notevenwrong:
I see this current generation among the most lazy, uniformed, self serving, all about “ME” than I’ve ever experienced. I blame the parents for giving these kids everything they want. I’m not saying they are all like this, but from what I have experienced they lack human compassion. They no longer communicate like humans. It’s all by text. I worry about this generation which should be called “Generation 0,” will not have the intelligence to make it in society. My cousin’s son is 25, has no job (by choice), plays video games, never graduated high school because he is plain old lazy and an idiot to pass the 9th grade, so she let him quit. My cousin is to blame for allowing this to happen. He’ll live with her the rest of his life- Generation 0.
Glücklich
@notevenwrong:
Weirdly, as much as I envy that previous mobility, I couldn’t feature doing it in quite such a by-the-seat-of-one’s-pants fashion. Even if I had unlimited resources, I’d need to know where I’m going, when I’m getting there, *how* I’m getting there, and what
I’ll do when I arrive.
And that job I despised? When the company laid me off in 2009 I was glad I had stuck it out because they had to pay me a *TON* of money to leave and I got to spend a very leisurely six months being very picky about the job search. In theory some of those funds are still in the bank. And a lot of folks from that benighted company wound up working with me.
Glücklich
@AlliterationAddict:
Thanks for sharing insights on the minority situation. Admittedly I don’t personally have a lot of exposure to it. I work in quantitative finance which is whiter than white, excepting Asians of various persuasions (I am half Mexican myself).
From my limited experience, big firms are making a push to hire a more diverse workforce. Reality sets in, though, when firms can’t recruit from a rainbow coalition of graduates from physics, econometrics, applied mathematics, finance, and engineering programs. Those candidates simply aren’t there, and they’re the ones performing the backbone functions of such firms.
Full disclosure: I dropped out of an engineering program (I wanted to be in upstream petrochem) because I fell in love with business and marketing through my then-part-time job in an unrelated field and decided I could learn more outside the classroom. Seventeen years in the corporate workforce has not yet proven my decision to be a mistake.
Juan Torred
The sad thing about this age gap is that am younger than my partner and I know a lot more about the 60’s 70’s 80’s & 90’s than my BF who was born in the 60’s the struggle is real on my side. #ICantEven
TheAngryFag
If you’re in a cross-generational relationship, wouldn’t you be sharing these things with your romantic partner?
wagnerwallace
Why is it considered dumb if the younger guy doesnt get pop culture references to things that happened literally before they even existed, but it isn’t considered dumb when the older person doesn’t know about current pop culture references?
Stache99
@Corey J Hodges: “we were busy objectifying each other, resisting aging, body shaming, classifying and segregating ourselves”
Cynical but I think you made a great point. We gay men on average mature about 10 years slower then our straight counter parts. They started dating earlier and of coarse having a family grows you up fast. We on the other hand lived in the land of Peter Pan with “Queer eye for the straight guy’s” as our role models. Then as others have pointed out we lost practically a whole generation of men. Most of the good roles models for us are long since dead.
Things will change as more gay men come out earlier, form families, life long friends, etc. 20 years from now things will be very interesting. Probably won’t even recognize the gay life as you knew it. Hopefully, will value are elders too. Mostly because I’ll be considered on of them. Fuck that’s scary. Lol
Stache99
@Derrick M. Miller: “That’s why you don’t date someone 20 years your junior lol”
That’s what the generational relationships are centered around. One likes the role of Daddy. Teaching his son about the world. Of coarse that’s not always what Daddy thinks. Son sometimes gives Daddy an education in finances.
glennmcbride
This is a problem if US pop culture is the only thing you can converse about. Even when there is no age gap, you won’t be able to carry on much of a conversation if you leave the US. I grew up in the US but have lived outside of the country for 28 years and learned long ago that you have to leave US pop culture behind because no one will understand your references, whether they are 10 years old or from 30 years ago. I enjoy conversations with all ages of people.
gskorich
my boyfriend is 20 years younger than me and from a different country so we have a wider gap than most. our age difference becomes apparent when watching tv or talking about music but to get upset because someone doesn’t know who bette davis is seems a bit much. for the most part we have a great time together. to be honest and to not sound cliche, i feel like the younger one sometimes. people learn from one another, of course the younger character in this video is being over exaggerated, to be honest who would want to have sex with someone so stupid but eventually people see the movies we have seen, hear the music we have played. it all comes in time
csports286
I’ve had a few of these moments. One of my exes was playing Morrissey and I was like ‘what?’. And he totally scoffed at my Mariah Carey. He also wore tighty whities, which is unimaginable in the gay world. Lol
John
As a 50 yr old and having a 23 yr old gay nephew I see the “gay gap” and I thank God that I am not under 30 or under 40 for the most part. The social skills are lacking and they assume we all want to bang them…which is not true. Of course the internet and apps have a lot to do with the lacking of the social skills. Remember when we went to a bar and talked, not just log on and see who is close so we can do the deed? So much of “gay culture” is lost or gone because of the assimilation we have achieved over the last 25 years. Some good, some bad. Yes, we don’t have to worry about getting beat up when we leave a gay bar but on the other side there are fewer gay bars, book stores, bathhouses and cruise spots and before you go ewww to those things…the apps are basically serve the same purpose. but without any of the social skills needed. The next generation I am sure will think the apps are so “old” but our basic culture will be totally gone. (Stoves today still cook food, but we still like to grill out over a grill or on a campfire. Our culture will still pick up but wouldn’t it be nice to still have a bath house/bar). I am thankful for those 30-somethings who like “daddies” also so they try to hold a conversation and use social skills.
ryantbo
I just had to explain to a young gay friend why Vanessa Williams lost her Miss America crown. I said to him “are you really that young? Yeah I guess you are”
Bauhaus
Having a mid-twenties child puts a quash on having any romantic feelings for that age group, but that’s just my hang-up.
As a young man, I had a wonderful experience with an older, educated and cultured man. When we met, I knew nothing. He plucked me from a tree, really. What he saw in me, I’ll never know. The way he treated me, I’ll never forget – he never made me feel stupid or less than. I took to him like a duck to water, fascinated by him and his life. I dropped everything and everyone for our time together. What I’ll always cherish about him is that he made me feel like I was his equal, when I was anything but at the time.
Maude
@Finrod:
I figured that one out….we are not posting too fast, Queerty is posting our posts too slow. In other words, we finish typing, but they haven’t begun to post it yet.
When next you post watch the upper left hand corner of the page.
As for sex with one of those ding-bats, there’s more personality at a glory-hole.
RobbDelman
I have been dealing this “gap” for more years that I care to enumerate, but the whole thing came crashing home for me last Friday…I decided to take the plunge and get a Galaxy $6, and to get into my account, the cute guy who was helping me needed to know my security question, i.e., what was the first live concert you attended. I literally had to spell it out: L-i-z-a space M-i-n-n-e-l-l-i
He had never heard of her.
Mikeylito
Refrigerator?
REFRIGERATOR??
woodin
It’s called aging and as a group, gays are much more punitive and treat aging people like they have some kind of virus. As an issue, gays just try to hide the character flaw.
DeserTBoB
No one “gets it”….this is happening on a LOT MORE SEROIUS matters (like HIV transmission, etc.) because an entire generation of “us” were simply wiped out in the ’80s and ’90s. These kids have NO MENTORS, like I had in my salad days. Those who didn’t die or poz up ran like hell to the hinterlands, usually with a lover, or to be celebate jerkin’ the gherkin’ to porn. THAT’S what causes this, and a whole lot more.
DeserTBoB
@RobbDelman: Oh, hold ON, sweetie…it gets a LOT worse, trust me.
DeserTBoB
@Mikeylito: Yes, that’s not out of bounds. I had some GenZ dope ask me if we had internet when I was growing up in the ’50s. WHAT the HELL….??? I explained that almost all electronic devices were poweredby vacuum tubes. He says, “What are those?” So, I showed him my 1945 Style 300 rotary phone. “You stick your finger in there and press?” Show ’em an LP or 12″ single…they’ve never seen one. Show them a big JBL speaker…”Earbuds are better than THAAAAT….” I could go on for page after page. I no longer even deign to socialize with GenY/Z/Millenial at all, because as you’re trying to explain something them, you glance over and they’ve tuned out, opting instead to fuck around with their cell phone on some useless app. What cut it for me with the GenZers happened on A4A numerous times on their blog page: “You old geezers need to DIE already, becuz [SIC] your [SIC] IN THE FKN [SIC] WAY!”
stevelary
I have a casual sex partner who is 47 years younger than me.(yes I am old). I said to him “oh my god Liz taylor is dead!” and he said who is Lz Taylor…..
DeserTBoB
@Gus Anderson: DING DING DING! CORRECT answer! GenZ had NO mentors. The young ones are heading into a self-made culture of their own that includes: 1.) disrespect for the arch old queens who used to teach the chicken how to behave, 2.) are embracing “thug” culture as their own, and 3.) …well, you already know.
DutchGay
I’m 42 and my husband is 40. We’ve been together for 18,5 years in a monogamous relationship. Never had any experience in the gay scene, no dating / Grindr experience and no age gay whatsoever. The only thing missing in our fairytale is a unicorn 🙂
Daddy
Generational Gap. It is so timely that this article was published. Recently I spent a lot of time with two 30 somethings, on two different occasions and, I was amazed that there are so many differences in tastes, attitudes, opinions, knowledge, etc. between us. Time, experience, failures and successes all factor into the gap. The sex however was amazing!!! So that is the point of the video. Perhaps sex buds work when there is a three decade gap, however I am not quite sure that I want to be the teacher in a relationship. The sex was great due to the fact that these guys never experienced the passion, the respect, the communication that great sex is built upon. That generation operates on a “slam bam” mentality which in my estimation is shallow. Please turn off all electronic devices during the entire flight!!!
DeserTBoB
@Peter Ahmed Bettou: You’re not even HATCHED yet.
Glücklich
Sounds like more older gentlemen for me. Good. Even my husband, who’ll soon be 49, prefers guys his own age or a little older. I’m an anomaly for him. But goddammit I could just EAT HIM ALIVE…fiiiiiine piece of ass…
DeserTBoB
@stevelary: Sounds PERFECTLY reasonable to me. Similar has happened to me…not about Liz, but similar.
DeserTBoB
Here’s one that stick out for me. I was a DJ back in the “golden era.” I was showing this youngster my gear and 12″ers (not THAT kind) and was spinning a couple tunes for him, explaining “…and THIS is what dance music was all about in 1975.” He ponders in faux-pensive mode, iPhone at the ready on some app, and says, “Oh! LIKE this was with real instruments and stuff!” (SMH with an anvil)
xjryan
@Jon Welsh: I couldn’t agree more, well said Mr. Welsh 🙂
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Uncanny! I’m holding on to 48 by the skin of my teeth. Don’t really care about my own age – no hang-ups about getting older, either. I often forget how old I am. I’m still in my thirties in my mind, so I have to make an effort to remember my age, when asked.
Carlos Primero
@Will Glitzern: Gena Rolands! What about “I Love a Mystery” and “Inner Sanctum”? Talk about young whippersnappers . . .
markhfreeman
Loving this thread! Especially posts by Gus and mada. Yes,some young guys can and do know the old gay stuff– but they have to search for it. And yes, the AIDS years were a watershed, with a before and after. What I think happened is that my gen (yes, the QueerBoomers) stopped talking to those younger, to a great extent. Maybe cause we were dying, or died, or because we thought, “Who wants to hear from anyone connected to this totally depressing experience?” Plus along came the internets. But what that did was interrupt a direct line of descendence of information that went back to Oscar Wilde’s day. Because back when you needed someone to introduce you to the secret world of gay life, most often someone older. And then you were part of an underground scene, with its own heroes and heroines, a lot of them pop figures like Be a Lillie or Hermione Gingold and Paul Lynde– and not just Judy and Bette (or today’s RuPaul and Beyonce). Along with camp and the in-group humor of a community that crossed all lines of class and race (without necessarily erasing their inequalities), you received a set of knowledge as vast as London taxicab drivers must learn. With it, you were “in” and open to the thrills and opportunities. So on behalf of my generation of people who neglected to pass this culture on to the younger generations, I apologize. Not that we are to blame, and neither are they. But it was a loss for the young– and for the old. A loss I’ve tried to make up for in my own little ways, of course. :-0
wpewen
@Gus Anderson: I am 57 and am right in the middle of the group. I was in Los Angeles for the first study on isolating HIV at UCLA in 1984, and I was negative and made it through the period. About half the guys I started college with in California are gone.
Not only is there a “vanished generation,” but there is a mental erasure about
dunner
i am a 60 gwm living in sf for 28 yrs i dont take this on when i 25 i dated a guy 42 lots of fun as life goes on i dated younger and older i think that this is made up my friends said the same thing rob
Ogre Magi
@Gus Anderson: Was there that much continuity between gay generations before AIDS?
wpewen
@Gus Anderson: I am 57, was in the first study to isolate HIV at UCLA in 1984. I made it, about half the guys I went to college with in California are gone. Not only has my generation sort of been erased from collective memory, but the direction of the political nature of the gay community has been sort defused. We were probably actually more serious, despite the gains now for all LGBT. Contrary to what this article states about good sex solving stuff, it does not. If gay guys are disturbed by the airhead stuff they see around them, they should remember they too are making history as they go along. Grindr is not the kind of history I would want to make. I prefer men that are real beings, porn is fine in it’s place, but young guys probably are not getting a real impression of the human race. Much of what I observe is everything many of us were fighting against. Gays have just become one more consumer class, and most seem more than willing. Mostly it is sad.
Bisexual-Transwoman
@Corey J Hodges: There is no such thing as a “gay” culture anymore than there’s a “heterosexual”, “trans”, or “bisexual” culture.
NoCagada
Ridiculous. Do you ever really talk to straight people? I know a 24 year old straight girl who thought Ethel Merman was Lucy Ricardo’s friend. There is ALWAYS a generational divide and sexuality has nothing to do with it.
NoCagada
@NoCagada: And she only knew about ILL because her grandmother watched it
AlliterationAddict
@notevenwrong: That’s something that I wasn’t really thinking of, but I’m glad that you brought it up. If you’re older and struggling to make ends meet in this kind of economy, it’s almost like a double whammy. At least if you’re young, you’ve got the rest of your generation stuck in just about the same rut. Part of the problem with this whole discussion is that it easily devolves into generational conflict, and I’m just as guilty of it as anybody else. I don’t love this video because it makes no effort to understand the younger generations. But I’m doing the exact same thing when I look at the Boomers as a monolithic group, so thanks for opening my eyes a little bit.
scotshot
@wpewen: It’s not only gays, it’s everyone. Do you know what voter group has the lowest voter turnout? The low information voter.
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
That is uncanny.
In reply to your earlier post, I know the feeling of not knowing what someone sees in you/me.
My husband – for the first year (and I was amazed when we made it that far) I thought I was being kept around as a curiosity since his friends were all artsy-boho types. And then there’s me, the bulldozing company man scheduled to the hilt. But somehow we got together and even though the relationship is unconventional to say the least, it works for us and we work well for each other.
Bisexual-Transwoman
@NoCagada: I agree. I have talked to young people who are in their 20s or in college who do not know who Bob Dylan is, and sexuality has nothing to do with it.
@wpewen: How did you survive all of these decades with HIV, especially before there were meds or effective meds like when AZT was prescribed and the only med and it was prescribed in too high of a dose?
VampDC
I will say as a millennial born in 1992 I very much agree there is a gay age gap.
But I think the difference is also a sense of gay men my age feeling more part of mainstream culture. I don’t know if there are many “gay things” as there were 20 or 30 years ago.
When I think of things in the gay community my age group likes I think maybe…lady gaga? britney? i don’t know…but nothing obscure that the normal person wouldn’t know.
I know the other day I was watching I Am Cait and this singer named boy george came on and I have never heard of him but everyone in the older gay choir on the show were freaking out.
Blake Mason
This is mortifyingly, absolutely …. TRUE!
NJjoe
I do believe AIDS did wipe out a generation of mentors and a lot of my friends.
DrewEurope
The worst cultural disconnect is when you can remember when you were actually attractive – and they can’t.
Windsor519
I came out at 14 and was not aware of what this generational gap really meant until I started to discover gay people younger than myself. When I came out I hung around older men because it was either that or nothing. This was just before the internet, chat rooms, the photo exchange, etc…today it’s become so much meaner – there are no gay communities anymore – just gay men seeking to exploit other gay men and then abandon them, or go out of their way to insist how much better they are than everyone else. That’s not generational – that’s how gay men are. When you live in a society where your options come from 3% of the male population (which is basically nothing – because the bigger cities are worse – its all about money, college degrees, who you know, what you look like, what you can do for them otherwise it’s ‘see ya – don’t ever talk to me in public’). I wonder what gay divorce will look like. We can’t even approach each other because of how badly this community has treated itself and each other; nobody even wants to try anymore.
There may or may not be a generational gap. I still hear from younger men a sense of shock and disappointment when the men they’ve been fantasizing about online are NOWHERE to be found after coming out; and are devastated when all these hot straight nude models online look nothing like real-life gay men who are often 20 years older and 100 pounds heavier than the men they have dreamt about. How do you deal with this when all you’ve had in your mind for years are images of very unrealistic looking non-gay men that you’ll never have a chance with? How are you supposed to now be attracted and want to work on a relationship with a real gay man? These chat rooms make it worse in a sense because it gives this false illusion that these men we’ve been waiting a lifetime for are right outside when the reality is, it’s still the same dozen or so guys it’s always been. The internet can be a tremendous letdown. We have a generation of very angry young gay men who feel ripped off when it comes to what they had hoped for, coupled with no social skills at all since most of their coming of age was done online or through phone apps – not through real conversations with real gay men.
Stache99
@DrewEurope: Ha. So true. I do that with porn stars. Sometimes I’m shocked by how they look today. Beauty is only temporary in life. Especially, in the gay community.
That’s why it’s best to be an actor or someone half way famous. You’ll always be remembered for what you were rather then what you are today.
Stache99
@Windsor519: @Windsor519: I’m not sure how the gay commmunity differs from the straight community when it comes to that. Duchebags are Duchebags regardless of their sexuality.
I think the youngsters coming out just want to have sex. Horny and whorey and all. We’ve all had our walk of shames when reality didn’t meet fantasy. Just the way it’s always been pre and post internet. Ok some more then others.
SoNHGuy
@Finrod: Seriously! I was born in ’64 but when I was a young fella I knew who Jack Benny was, who the Andrew’s Sisters where, and more. I knew that there was an American Songbook (standards where amazing talent created timeless songs and lyrics)that most people actually new and could sing to. I knew a lot about the decades preceding my birth because I lived in a culturally dynamic social setting where “continuity” was what held us all together. And that continuity was the alphabet we used to communicate and to relate.
Problem I see is that yootz nowa’days have never been encouraged to enjoy what came before as the stuff that defines us. It’s just called retro and dismissed for the next thing. It’s all about what’s new and what’s next. And look, I’m all into modernity but the past gives it, and me, context. Today, we just throw away new perfectly serviceable stuff for the newer model.
When I was coming up, we didn’t have loud colorful distraction at our fingertips 24/7. The worlds we lived in where of our own immediate making. And we had to get along with a lot of different kinds of people to make it. It wasn’t always great but the effort made all the difference.
I’m not arguing that those where better days and better people. The advances we’ve made have given us much easier lives in many ways. But we never had the least expectation that anything would be handed to us. For instance, without the internet, we actually had to get up and go out into the world to get the information and entertainment we wanted; to meet people, and to dream about what we wanted to make of our lives. Today, not so much.
Now, get off my lawn!
Joe
Though this is a funny piece of comedy, it is so true. The gay guys coming up now are not at least interested in anything that came before them. It does not matter to them. Str8 as well. It’s all about how many Twitter and Facebook friends you have. These queens have sold their souls to the devil so to speak.
I find gay men were more genuine in the 80’s than they are now. Brian Jordan Alvarez represents well as an obnoxious young gay men that appears today. How can any gay man of any age not know who John Waters, Rosemary’s Baby is? I just find it to be the sign of the times as today’s young gay men are too wrap up in themselves and their Twitter and Facebook accounts. I feel sad for them. When that and texting is your main source of being social, you’re missing out. However these young obnoxious queens will hit a certain age one day, maybe then they will then “get it.” However, by then, in may just be too late.
I mean, I’ll go into a gay coffee house or a bar and I see 4 young gay men not even socializing with each other but texting and checking their social media status, I’m sad for them. They are missing the boat and don’t even realize it.
Joe
@wagnerwallace:
I don’t think they are dumb, I actually think they are smart. They just don’t utilize their smarts. And to add, I’ve been reading here that the AIDS crisis had a lot to do with the gay gap. Yes, a lot of men passed away, a lot of my friends, however, a lot of us survived. Thank God. I think it’s a matter of the social media thing going on. There are plenty of older gay men that can mentor, I feel the youngens are not interested in that. They are not interested in gay history and pretty much self absorbed. It’s that simple.
Joe
@LaShawn Martin:
However, it’s true. Young men have not walked in the shoes of the older gay man. Older gay men have made the world of the younger gay man a lot easier to live in this world. That and the fact their parents have given them everything they’ve always asked for.
I lived through the AIDS crisis. I saw my friends dying at an average of once a week. I couldn’t keep my suites in and out of my dry cleaners fast enough.
I find your post offensive, lazy and unappreciative.
Joe
@Glücklich:
Great Film (also “Gloria” with the great Gena Rowlands. And little did we know Agnes was a big ole’ Lesbian? LOL!