Say what you will about the girls of Girls, at least their lives are never dull. (I’m looking at you, Looking.) This week’s episode has sex, live performance, high art, meltdowns, a drunken Patti LuPone and Woody Allen’s second wife. It’s not even the finale yet! Oh, and did we know that Adam and Ray were living together? Did I inadvertently unlearn that fact, or was it just never presented? Whatever, the point is that everyone felt a lot of feelings this week and now I get to judge them for that. Thank Christ no one follows me around assigning a developmental stage to everything I do. Of course, I’m not a fictional character, so.
HANNAH
Emotional Age: 5
She’s old enough to make words, and that’s about it. Doing a job, keeping a job, and recognizing the need for a job are all well outside her scope. Her desire for attention overpowers any rational thought, leading her to behave in increasingly inappropriate ways just to make sure that Adam is looking at her. And barging in on her friends having sex is inexcusable even when drunkenness is involved because grown-ups know not to get that wildly drunk. It’s basically painful to watch her exist. What’s the point of living an authentic life when you’re authentically intolerable?
MARNIE
Emotional Age: variable
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There’s a lot going on with Marnie. In some ways, she’s awfully mature: she’s growing as a professional and an artist, and her life on paper makes her seem pretty adult. But she does this thing that’s like the opposite of hulking out, shrinking into a tiny child whenever she’s confronted with adversity. At best, this means gaping silently when given the opportunity to impress an important artist. At worst, it means literally lying to save face, like off-handedly implying that she’s not the one in the YouTube video or that Ray coerced her into his bed. Essentially, she’s ready for life as long as life presents no obstacles whatsoever.
SHOSHANNA
Emotional Age: goddess
As usual, Shosh only speaks perfect truths in this episode. She says she had a stressful day, and then lists the day’s events, which were in fact stressful. She speaks accurately about Jessa’s recovery and withdrawal symptoms and offers her love and support. And then does a hair mask because let’s face it, her updo situation must require a lot of maintenance. She knows that Hannah will have trouble with Marnie’s success before Hannah can realize her own crippling jealousy. Everyone’s scores in this recap would raise exponentially if they’d just ask Shoshanna for advice once in a while.
JESSA
Emotional Age: 16
She may not be ready to live on her own yet, but Jessa is taking baby steps into almost-adulthood. The solo dance party in her pajamas isn’t a great start, but she does manage to wander into employment by accident. It’s telling that the hiring is due to her raw talent and uninhibited mouthiness rather than any actual effort, but I’ll nonetheless give her credit for being a person in the world and not just a junkie in her cousin’s bed. I’d like to have faith that she can make it last, but honestly we have no previous evidence of her being able to make anything last.
