Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register
  YOUNG AT HEART

The “Girls” Emotional Age Recap: “Ladies Only” and “Truth or Dare”

The two-part premiere of Girls aired at the same time as the Golden Globes for the second year in a row, which is either an act of war against the gays or the best advertisement for HBO GO ever. If this hour of television was any indication, then grading the ladies on their ages is going to be harder than ever, because they’re apparently in some sort of contest to be the most annoying girl in the whole kindergarten. Then again, if they all got their acts together, the series would have to end.

s3e01 hannah 2

HANNAH
Emotional Age: 10

Hannah is really good at following instructions. She can write pages when her boss sets clear guidelines, she can mobilize a trip to pick Jessa up from rehab, she can put together a dinner party… basically, she does her chores like a good girl. At the same time, she’s completely incapable of doing any of these things independently. Adam, as her caretaker, father figure (who also has sex with her, yikes) is there to make sure to give her her medicine, drive the car upstate, count tacos, provide her with experiences to write about, and otherwise manage her entire life. It’s as though her mind is in a vegetative state and he’s the life support machine that keeps it tethered feebly to this world.

 

s3e01 marnie

MARNIE
Emotional Age: 21

Marnie’s journey so far is essentially that of a recent college graduate. She’s moving out on her own (with her mom’s help), working at a coffee shop and obsessing over the recent loss of a romance that she had convinced herself would last eternally. Her behavior also suggests that she’s not fully cognizant of others’ problems, or the fact that others even have problems. Hopefully with a little more experience, she can merge her mental age with her biological one. I always thought she had the best chance of actually entering adulthood. We’re rooting for you, Marn.

 

s3e01 shoshanna

SHOSHANNA
Emotional Age: Eternal

My new theory is that Shosh is some sort of otherworldly force, like a tree spirit or a trickster god or something. Because on the one hand she greets every new experience with the innocence of a newborn, but on the other hand she remains one of the only people in this fictional version of Brooklyn with consistent insight into other human beings. Her woodland rundown of Adam and Hannah’s dysfunctional relationship is so devastatingly accurate that I’m surprised she didn’t cause him to spontaneously combust under the white-hot glare of her truth.

 

s3e01 jessa

JESSA
Emotional Age: 5

This woman is a walking temper tantrum. She wants what she wants when she wants it, she takes what she takes when she can get it and she gives only when she’s sure to get something in return. Whether she’s badgering Taystee (her name’s not Laura I don’t care what they say) or turning Hannah into her personal taxi service or throwing away the dishes she doesn’t want to wash, she’s playing her own game by her own rules and making damn sure that she’s the one and only winner.

By:           Chris J Kelly
On:           Jan 14, 2014
Tagged: , ,

  • 5 Comments
    • KittyLitter
      KittyLitter

      People still watch this shit?

      Jan 14, 2014 at 11:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Maxwell
      Maxwell

      Yes.

      Jan 15, 2014 at 3:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      It’s somewhat entertaining in a weird way, but I never quite got the “gay” attraction to this show – unless it’s supposed to make us glad our boyfriends are cuter and nicer than Adam (etc.)?

      Or is it supposed to make us feel glad we don’t live in New York? (…anymore, if we ever did in the past.)

      Or is it just supposed to make us glad we’re gay, in general? Yeah, that must be it!

      Jan 15, 2014 at 7:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      @the other Greg: It totally makes me glad I’m gay. The women on this show are NUTS, pretty accurately reflecting what Williamsburg women are like.

      I’m enjoying the show so far this season. Dunham has smartly dropped my personal “TURN THIS STUPID THING OFF!” cue, Hannah’s OCD.

      Jan 15, 2014 at 11:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stranded
      stranded

      There’s some really funny dialogue but for the most part, the show is a bit ridiculous. I don’t know why it go SO much attention after it’s first year.

      Jan 16, 2014 at 11:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.



  • POPULAR ON QUEERTY

    FOLLOW US
     



    GET QUEERTY'S DAILY NEWSLETTER


    FROM AROUND THE WEB

    !-- Sailthru Horizon -->
    Copyright 2014 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.