No one is who they seem anymore! In this aptly-titled entry into the characters’ lives, everyone is trying their best to be who they want to be instead of who they are. Hannah is a sexy sex person, Marnie is a real singer-songwriter, Shoshanna is a healer of broken families, and Jessa is someone who can afford lots of drugs. What do these personae say about the ladies and their psychological development?
Emotional Age: 13
Hannah’s combined need for reassurance and soap opera-caliber sexual fantasies make her a prime candidate for middle school. Who else but a pubescent girl would concoct the trite story of a blond trophy wife being seduced by the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks? Keep in mind that this scenario involves her eating delicious foods and getting Adam punched in the face by a stranger. Isn’t she a writer? Like, professionally? This is some rock-bottom sex LARP-ing, especially bearing in mind that she ruins it all by being more dramatic than the actor she’s dating.
Emotional Age: 25
I’m not sure that I’ve ever assigned Marnie her actual age before, but she’s finally settled in. Hunting for a job that’s slightly beneath her? Great. Exploring her artistic side? Yup. Exploring her artistic side as subtext for trying to sleep with someone? Double yup. And that someone is kind of a prick and is dating a woman named Clementine?! Oh yeah, these are some classic mid-twenties indignities. Go get ‘em, girl.
Emotional Age: Oprah
Not many people would handle living with a cokehead roommate and her creepy old boyfriend with poise. In fact, pretty much anyone else on the show would have pitched an ugly fit. But not our little Shosh. She listens carefully and finds a way to fix the problem in a way that actually makes life better for everyone. Her success in reuniting a deadbeat dad with his distraught daughter not only mends a damaged relationship, but also helps two sick people take a step toward recovery. Unfortunately, one of those people is Jessa.
Emotional Age: succubus
I’m going to assume that Jessa has been dead for centuries. It’s the only explanation that makes any sense. She acts with utter disregard for life, whether it be her own or anyone else’s. She materializes only to cause chaos. She’s always living in nice places and doing pricey drugs but never seems to have a source of income that would justify such acquisitions. Viewing her as the metaphysical version of a leech makes her seem so much more plausible than trying to interpret her as a literal human.