The Good News: Masturbation Fits In Nicely With Catholicism
 
 

The bad news: It's only because science says masturbating may help you produce babies while have heterosexual sex, so sorry gays, no church-sanctioned beating off for you.

 
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Comments (11)

No. 1 · 7SK

Well, if we were to start listening to the church, we'd all have to kill ourselves and join our evil Sodomite brothers in Satan's terrible kingdom now, wouldn't we?

Posted: Jul 9, 2009 at 9:27 pm
No. 2 · daftpunkydavid

there is no bad news: heterosexual sex doesnt make one less gay!! if gay men wanna make babies with women (regardless of the orientation of the latter), then go for it! won't make you less gay in the least!
and since when does fertilization require heterosexual sex, as you claim queerty??

Posted: Jul 9, 2009 at 9:36 pm
No. 3 · D-Sun

Well then, it's a good thing I don't care what any church has to say about anything at any time.

Posted: Jul 9, 2009 at 10:02 pm
No. 4 · MiKem

I have only one question…. will I still go blind?

Posted: Jul 9, 2009 at 10:17 pm
No. 5 · me

i have been a catholic since the moment dad came but i fapped even back when it wasn't cool

Posted: Jul 9, 2009 at 10:41 pm
No. 6 · Marius

@MiKem:

Yes you will and double blind if you are a gay priest.

Posted: Jul 9, 2009 at 10:42 pm
No. 7 · Papal Bull

Old whores never die, they just become born again.

Posted: Jul 10, 2009 at 12:06 am
No. 8 · DNK

At my Catholic church, I was taught at an early age that masturbation was quite the abomination, twisting the preciousness of love (or at least hetero post-marriage missionary sex) into a heinous, prideful, "I love me" act of defiance against God Himself. See, religion isn't all bad; if we didn't have it, all those therapists would be out of a job.

Posted: Jul 10, 2009 at 1:03 am
No. 9 · TANK

TFB!

Posted: Jul 10, 2009 at 1:13 am
No. 10 · galefan2004

Funny how the one agency that is most responsible for all the poverty in this world (men and women having babies even when they can't afford them because the church says that is the goal) gets to tell us when its ok to jack off. Fuck the Catholic church.

Posted: Jul 10, 2009 at 8:31 am
No. 11 · schlukitz

I just did it until I needed a diopter strength of +3.25.

What I can't see, I can feel my way around for. ;P

God works in strange ways, his wonders to perform. LOL

Posted: Jul 11, 2009 at 12:53 am
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