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  WHAT'S APP WITH THAT?

“The Grindr Guide” Looks At The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Of A Gay’s Favorite App

The Grindr Guide, a web series out of Australia, takes an insightful look at the ubiquitous hookup app—who’s using it, why and how.

Aside from the obvious appeal of cute gay boys with sexy Aussie accents, we were drawn to the honesty of the program: How the app can raise issues of self-esteem, lookism, racism and sexual health are all discussed.

“Grindr has the reputation of being a hook-up app, and I wanted to see how justified that stigma is,” said director Damien Dunstan. “What we actually found is that people are using Grindr for all kinds of reasons: we followed guys who use Grindr to make friends; those who use it as a starting point for more traditional dating; and of course, there’s a significant portion that do use it purely for casual sex.”

Plus, if you’re planning on heading to Sydney, you’ll know how to approach some of the 150,000 blokes on Grindr over there.

The first four of the guide’s planned episodes are post here. Check back on the Grindr Guide’s YouTube channel for more.

 

 

 

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Mar 9, 2013
Tagged: , , , ,

  • 20 Comments
    • QJ201
      QJ201

      drunkgrindr is much more fun

      Mar 9, 2013 at 10:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles175
      Charles175

      I watched the fourth video “race”. It is sadly true that many filter out (via race selection) a potentially great person to be with. Looking at the outside without examining the person inside is very shallow indeed. All those within the human race, all possess the same basic fundamentals at root, this irrelevant of cultural differences. Ambitions, desires, dreams, wants, needs and feelings. Potential to love and the desire to be loved in return are within all races.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 2:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little-Kiwi
      Little-Kiwi

      http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2012/10/yeah-you-sound-totally-well-adjusted.html

      http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2011/09/carrying-self-hatred-into-adulthood.html

      http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2011/08/thats-just-racism.html

      just a few examples.

      You get the guys who say “why can’t i just find a decent guy?”
      then you read their profiles “no fats fems asians or blacks”

      well, that’s why you can’t find a decent guy. you’re not one, and don’t deserve one.

      and if anyone’s gonna defend their racial “preferences” – well, how about you put “no blacks or asians” on a tee shirt and wear it into a bar some time? see how popular you are.

      if you can’t see a PERSON, because all you see is AN ETHNICITY, then you have an unaddressed issue with that ethnicity.

      no surprise interracial couplings are far more are amongst Conservatives..

      werk.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 2:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hansolo
      Hansolo

      My favorite is “No blacks or Asians…sorry just a preference” or no offense…. I have come to realize that the gay community is as much ignorant on race as str8 maybe even more so since I only experience racism amongst gays. Anyway I go on Jack’d…I find it to be more inclusive as far as race though you find them there too….and that’s the problem with online dating.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 3:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little-Kiwi
      Little-Kiwi

      I’ve met great friends off of Grindr, actually. And i’ve had hookups from Facebook. The app is what you make of it.

      Interesting phenomenon, though – whenever I tell a guy I’m not into him because of his “prejudiced preferences” they get SOOOO upset. And hypocritical.

      Bascially -they feel that it’s wrong of me to not be into them because they’re “not into blacks or asians”. So they can be not into blacks, but I’M not allowed to not be into them for that reason? HILARITY.

      They defend; “it’s just my preference!”

      yeah, well, it’s my preference, too – i prefer not to get together with guys with racial preferences. it’s literally hilarious how pissed they get. I guess white boys don’t like being shot down, eh? ;-)

      Mar 9, 2013 at 3:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles175
      Charles175

      Upon first meeting someone, I go by the mutual feel of body chemistry and emotional chemistry. They’re my guiding compass. Race doesn’t matter to me. Its what’s inside the heart that has the power to bond the souls together. The soul has no color.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 4:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dixie Rect
      Dixie Rect

      Who decided this was the ‘gays favorite app’? I don’t recall voting. This app blows – crashes all the time and lost messages. Endless silly twinks with ridiculous disqualification lists – get over yourself, you ain’t all that!

      Mar 9, 2013 at 5:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • yaoming
      yaoming

      I didn’t realize this was a GRINDR infomercial.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 8:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • viveutvivas
      viveutvivas

      @Dixie, yes, plus their ridiculous censorship. Your pants have to be almost up to your navel or they will crop you. The thinnest strip of underwear above your pant waist and they crop you. Who are they employing as censors – a sweatshop in Saudi Arabia?

      Mar 9, 2013 at 9:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Windsor519
      Windsor519

      Unfortunately, gay men are the least compassionate or caring people on the planet towards each other. Collectively we make up 2-3% of the population but the expectations we have in regards to who we seek are so unrealistic…I often wonder if the line between fantasy (the guys we see online in gay porn, who aren’t gay and are college athletes) and reality (the gay guys in real life who are 20 years older and 100 pounds fatter than those models) are blurred. Thanks to the Internet, we never have to physically see or interact with real life gay men, creating a recipe for disaster: we base our expectations of what gay men look like on images of models who aren’t even gay in the first place, and worse, we miss out on social development. Lets not kid ourselves…I’d venture to guess 1 out of 109 of us has the skill set to be in a relationship that could lead to marriage. The rest of us date like 7th grade girls, if we even find a date at all. Which is ironic: we have gay pride, but all I ever hear is how much we hate each other, how nobody’s good enough for us to talk to, how we go out of our way to make each other feel rejected and unwelcome, and are so rude that we don’t even acknowledge each other in public, as if we are too embarrassed to be associated with one another. We can’t even figure out how to be friends or where to look for dates and this unseen privileged few keeps pushing for marriage equality. Great for them, but the rest of us will never see that for ourselves, no matter how much work we put in to our attitudes. And the Internet reflects how rude and disposable we are – we don’t value other gay men.

      Mar 9, 2013 at 9:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joetx
      Joetx

      I wholeheartedly agree w/ Posts 2-6!

      I’m sure this thread will be ruined by some people determined to say “it’s my a preference, get over it!” & not examine how their so-called preferences are formed by the images we see in the movies, on TV, in magazines, etc.

      Mar 10, 2013 at 1:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles175
      Charles175

      @Windsor519: My speaking skills are not as refined as yours. Thanks for speaking my mind and yours.

      Mar 10, 2013 at 7:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles175
      Charles175

      @Joetx: The thread on the originating URL of this video already has what you just said, it has been ruined. http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLH0lFtln-TCfP4F-FXcW4pXX5qUtwiwO3&v=FhTjrjsWv9M&feature=player_embedded More than once I have seen what Windsor 519 has said in action. When this does happen, his description gives a great breakdown of the mechanics of how and why it happens, that is when it DOES happen. Though I’m really, really hoping that his ratio numbers are not nearly as bad as he has stated.

      Mar 10, 2013 at 8:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • viveutvivas
      viveutvivas

      @Windsor, I broadly agree with you except for where you advocate treating other with dignity and respect and then turn around and belittle guys not “having the skills to be in a relationship that could lead to marriage.” Being in a relationship leading to marriage is not the be-all and end-all of happiness. Maybe my happiness comes from having sex with someone different every week. Lots of guys don’t want marriage and it is a valid choice, and you should respect that.

      Mar 10, 2013 at 12:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Windsor519: Hey, Jonathan from Duluth, MN – nice to see you again!

      “20 years older” – yes, inevitable. “100 pounds fatter” – !!! – yikes, a hundred pounds! – you’ve said that before in the Village Voice, but no. How many gay male 40 & 50-somethings have you actually met? My bf & I are maybe 20 lb. up from high school but that’s about it. I’ll say this as compassionately as I can. Maybe you’re too fat and you’re the one who’s being unrealistic.

      “I’d venture to guess 1 out of 109 of us has the skill set to be in a relationship that could lead to marriage.” My guess is more like 1 out of 5 or so. And even that, in reality, is not really a “problem.” Who decrees that everyone needs to be married? That is a hetero-centric construct. Stop projecting your own insecurities and neuroses onto the rest of the gay world.

      But it’s a problem for you because you *think* you want a boyfriend. But maybe you really don’t. Maybe you really just want a steady sex partner. There’s nothing wrong with that. But maybe you have trouble finding either because you’re fat. Still, I hear there are “chubby chasers” everywhere so maybe there is hope for you yet!

      If you think the internet is part of the problem (and I sort of agree) it’s ironic that you’re complaining on the internet. What would you be doing if the internet wasn’t invented yet? I guess I agree with you that porn tends to create unrealistic expectations. The solution to that is to stop watching so much porn and get out of the basement once in awhile. “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

      And as I’ve advised you before – get out of Duluth, move to Chicago!

      Mar 10, 2013 at 12:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dixie Rect
      Dixie Rect

      @Windsor519: Well said!

      Love, Dixie

      Mar 10, 2013 at 6:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Charles175: @viveutvivas: @Dixie Rect: There is a grain of truth in what Windsor519 (Jonathan) says, but he has been saying the exact same thing in the exact same way for 8 or 10 years now. Sorry, but maybe the problem is not other gay men, maybe the problem is him.

      He seems to regard the internet as a sort of lever whereby he, Archimedes-like, can magically rearrange ALL of gay society to suit his (supposed) needs.

      For some reason he thinks it is easier to change gay male culture from the safety of his keyboard – while sitting in a small town where there are hardly any gay men anyway – than to do anything in real life about his own acknowledged problems. For instance, his belief that being 100 pounds overweight is totally normal. He apparently even thinks it’s common. Sorry, not too many people are going think that’s healthy or logical.

      He laments porn addiction, without ever suggesting anything in particular to “do” about it – which I guess is a good thing, because trying to change OTHER people’s porn addictions merely by typing a lot would truly be a pointless task! And from his own perspective maybe he should see it not as a problem but as an opportunity for him, since the porn addicts are pretty much OUT of the dating pool, thereby leaving the more serious people.

      He laments gay culture in general, without ever suggesting anything in particular to “do” about it. Apparently gay men everywhere are just supposed to read and heed his eloquent (but vague) laments, and change their evil ways and be more “compassionate”… just so he can find a boyfriend.

      And yet he’s sure it’s gay culture that has “unrealistic” expectations! Talk about irony.

      Mar 11, 2013 at 10:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little-Kiwi
      Little-Kiwi

      “Sorry, but maybe the problem is not other gay men, maybe the problem is him..”

      DING DING DING!

      exactly. exactly, exactly, exactly.

      if you’re a gay man, and keep having the same bad experiences with “other gay men” – congrats, the problem is you. it truly is. you can’t keep doing things the same way and expecting a different result.

      and it usually comes from being shallow, and then responding negatively when your shallowness is rebuffed by someone else’s shallowness. i’ve known guys who don’t work out, who don’t lead healthy lives, who then complain that “all the hot guys are shallow. they’re not into me”. well, you’re shallow too. you only look at, and think about, those “hot guys.”

      gay culture is what you make of it. as with everything in life. it’s not just bars, or clubs, or any specific Gay Villages.

      whenever i hear gay men complain about how “shallow other gay men are” i can only think: “You’re probably sitting back, ignoring all the guys that look like YOU, because you’re just like the shallow men you loathe – only into “them”, too.”

      like the geek in high school movies who lusts after the cheerleader, and we’re supposed to root for him. why? he’s just as shallow as the jocks. why can’t he date a sweet geeky girl?

      #You’reYourOwnProblem

      Mar 11, 2013 at 10:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Little-Kiwi: That means a lot coming from you. Thank you!

      (If anyone else is still reading the thread)… To be clear, this stuff predates the internet (and Grindr). In a library with 1980s dead-tree Advocates and Outs and so on, you’d see similar laments about how shallow gay men are – maybe even from Windsor/Jonathan himself, since he’s old enough. Maybe he’s been making the exact same complaints for 30 years! Should be a clue to him to try a new approach.

      Yeah, geeky/nerdy guys can be a lot of fun in bed! And I’d give a pass to anyone who’s RECENTLY come out (esp. in their early 20s). Few gay teenagers have a realistic concept of what adult gay life is going to be like. If they’re anticipating some kind of “compassionate” gay welcome wagon with aloha leis (or lays? ha ha), yeah, they may be disappointed. But after a few years, they have to catch on that not every Gay Problem they encounter is someone else’s fault, and it’s a lot easier to change one’s own behavior.

      Totally agree that gay culture is what you make of it.

      Mar 11, 2013 at 2:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      A friend has a practical suggestion for Windsor, something to DO (besides complaining about how bad gay culture is) – if he doesn’t have the kind of insurance where he can see a therapist, he could try a book on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT – not always c*ck & ball torture, ha ha ha) – David Burns is a good one.

      Mar 12, 2013 at 6:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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