The Most Frightening Thing About Michael Musto’s 62 Reasons to Hate Being Gay Is Some Thought He Was Serious
Village Voice columnist and New York queer scene staple, Michael Musto, has penned a 2nd-person gay shame manifesto in which he regurgitates gay stereotypes. Here we imagine how we would debunk some of this rhetoric, given the chance to meet the fabulous Ms. Musto:
Michael: “You strangely turned off to Gaga the day she released a song about how great gays are.”
Queerty: Actually, it was the whole meat dress as a metaphor for DADT that turned us off.
Michael: “You spend half the day Photoshopping your Manhunt photos and the other half adjusting the lighting in your apartment so it’ll match when they show up.”
Response: Is Manhunt like Grindr but for guys with Hotmail accounts?
Michael: “All cute gay guys somehow know they’re cute.”
Queerty: Why, thank you!
Michael: “You actually worked out a way to get college credit for fluffing gift bags for charity events.”
Queerty: Are you talking about GLAAD Awards?
Musto, tongue permanently fixed in cheek, dumbs down gay culture to the point of self-ridicule. So if you think Michael is being serious and you’re getting all defensive, Google “facetious.” And if you think his piece is “funny-cause-it’s-true,” then we’re sorry but you’re a giant, walking, gay stereotype.
Why the hell would anyone be offended by his writing? If you live in New York, there is pretty much enough to satire and ridicule within a certain gay scene. I always get the feeling he wishes he was one of the pretty ones, but he is obviously not being serious. More fake outrage from Queerty!
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Look, there’s a lot to ridicule about gay culture. Its sex-obsessiveness, its fantasy marketing, its porn-centricity, its adherence to female pop singers…the list goes on and on. We truly are a stereotypical bunch. We’re just as self-stereotyping and narrow as straight-identifying guys.
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In the Voice, he’s always referring to his penis. Once he even inserted it into a paragraph discussing brilliant actress and gay icon Dame Maggie Smith which I guess was meant to be shocking but was only cheap and vulgar.
I’m surprised Musto and his penis haven’t been given their own room in a Baptist Hell House.
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I first heard of this clown when I saw him on all those crummy VH1 specials were D-list comedians make lame jokes about pop cultural ephemera of the semi-recent past. I knew then and there that he was a tool, and nothing since then has changed my opinion.
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@SG:
Totally agree. Michael Musto makes me highly annoyed!
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I hope Musto doesn’t appear on Keith Olbermann’s new show. He’s gross.