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CINEMATIC CLIMAXES

The Most Realistic Gay Sex Scenes In Film

I was talked through it by the director. He would be telling me what I would be feeling in each take. Basically, gay sex, especially for the first time, is really fucking painful. And [director John Krokidas] said that he had never seen that portrayed accurately on film before. He wanted it to look like an authentic loss of virginity.”

– Daniel Radcliffe on losing his cinematic virginity in Kill Your Darlings.

We realized that there are a lot of movies out there that don’t accurately depict gay sex, as Daniel Radcliffe temptingly noted of his Kill Your Darlings director’s commitment to authenticity. In that spirit, and because we wanted an excuse to watch gay sex scenes all day, we decided to compile a list of movies that are not only realistic to the gay sex experience but some that are just a little too real. You’ll see what we’re talking about.

Check out 8 movies featuring realistic gay sex scenes…totes NSFW:

David’s Birthday

davidsbirthday

This Italian movie shows Matteo, a formerly straight man falling in love with his friend’s son David. The scene that gets real is when he’s interrupted in the middle of sex with David by his wife. Matteo doesn’t even stop pumping while begging his wife to understand. Blue balls are real.

I Love You, Phillip Morris

Jim Carrey hits a mustached daddy from the back. Clearly the execs couldn’t handle the hotness and it ultimately got a limited theater release. We’d give them a wider release any day.

Shortbus


John Cameron Mitchell created this movie as a real sex experiment and while it may have missed its mark at times, it definitely pushed the boundaries of what the public has seen. For example, it features a threesome between a gay couple and a random guy, which… gets weird. Bonus: the movie features Kiki of Kiki and Herb!

Shank

Shank-starring-Wayne-Virgo-Marc-Laurent-and-Tom-Bott-15

So, Shank is…graphic. Well, two guys do drugs and have sex in a car in the woods, which is mild enough, until one beats and robs the other. Also, the antihero is raped by his best friend and his lover is forced to watch. Besides all of the realness things get truly real when the main character and his lover have a touching, frank sex scene. Only watch this if you’re into S&M or rough play.

Shame

shame 1

Michael Fassbender came to many a gay’s attention when he “performed” in this movie about a sex addict. The part that really gets our attention is when he goes into a sex club and gets orally serviced by a man, even though he’s not gay. There’s your straight man fantasy for ya.

Blue Is The Warmest Color

blue-warmest-color

This three-hour adaptation of a Gallic graphic novel scandalized Cannes with what one critic called “the most graphic lesbian sex scenes in modern cinematic history.” The tale of a 15-year-old girl’s sexual awakening won the Palme D’Or at Cannes and features a starmaking performance by newcomer Adele Exarchopoulos.

Bent

Screen shot 2013-10-18 at 7.34.25 PM

Not exactly penetration, Clive Owen and his lover bring each other to climax while not touching each other at all.The two stand side by side, never look at or touch each other and reach silent climax. We don’t give it enough justice. Just watch the scene for yourself and imagine the rest.

Brokeback Mountain

FILM BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN - HEATH LEDGER E JAKE GYLLENHAAL

We’ll admit, this is the first film that comes to mind when we hear “gay sex in a movie” and for good reason. The infamous scene may have gone a bit too easy for first time — though that Jack Twist has certainly been around the block — but at the time, two mainstream actors going at it in a tent in the woods was a pretty big deal. And it also inspired the far more graphic Bareback Mount Him.

If you have any other favorites that we missed, leave ‘em in the comments!

  • 51 Comments
    • gwydion
      gwydion

      While mild by today’s standards, the sex scene between Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean in “Making Love” was a groundbreaker and back then, I found extremely hot.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 7:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      Any of the sex scenes in “I Want Your Love” must surely be mentioned. These are real actors having real sex on camera, and hotter than porn for that reason. You really see the connection between the actors, as well as oral sex, full penetration and even cum shots. As an example of actors really pushing their boundaries, this can’t be beaten.

      I’d also mention the first sex scene in Priest between Linus Roache and Robert Carlyle, in what was quite a ground breaking movie in 1994.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 7:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Derek Williams
      Derek Williams

      How beautiful is this!

      Oct 20, 2013 at 8:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scribe38
      Scribe38

      I guess I am the only one who finds the premise wrong? I don’t think your first time has to be painful. I have topped three virgins without there being “pain” and my virginity was given/taken when I was 17. There was the sensation of being filled but there wasn’t pain. It is all about being opened slowly with fingers first and not just pounding away. There is no reason to equate anal sex with pain.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 9:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      @Scribe38:

      I absolutely agree with you. I was late coming out and my first time was when I was in my late 20s. I was madly in love, and knew that I just wanted this man (my first boyfriend) so badly. I remember it very clearly. It didn’t hurt a bit. It just felt wonderful. Like you, I have also topped many a virgin and have managed to do so without causing pain.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 9:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • avesraggiana
      avesraggiana

      The “love scene” between Jack and Ennis looks more like a wrestling match.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 10:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JasonBrownUK
      JasonBrownUK

      Total Eclipse with Leo DiCap bumming David Thewlis.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 10:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bskeete
      bskeete

      My first time was not painful at all. My sex partner was very patient
      and started by gently using his fingers.
      I found the sex scene in The Candelabra to be very realistic.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 10:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      My first time hurt like..er..buggery! It was my last time. I was 18; I no longer am.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 12:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zaneymcbanes
      zaneymcbanes

      Weekend had one of the most emotionally resonant sex scenes I think I’ve ever seen in a movie and probably one of the few to show that anal sex can be loving and not just pounding, not that there’s anything wrong with pounding ;)

      Oct 20, 2013 at 12:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scribe38
      Scribe38

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Baby you just had the wrong partner… A pro cheery taker will open you up right, get you off while he is still inside of you and make you beg him for a little more. Tops just have to be more worried about the bottom’s pleasure than their own for virgins. After you work the guy a few times, then you can buck wild.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 1:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ajai
      Ajai

      Gay sex is not synonymous with anal sex. It can be, but it’s reductive to think that is always the case,

      Oct 20, 2013 at 1:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      Did anyone say it was?

      Oct 20, 2013 at 1:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Travis
      Travis

      Saw ‘Stranger by the Lake’ at the seattle lesbian & gay ff last night. Beautifully shot and well crafted story. The sex scenes are hot, complete with oral and cum shots… http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2852458/?ref_=nv_sr_1

      Oct 20, 2013 at 1:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Niall
      Niall

      The list is kinda shitty as having seen “Shame”, I don’t get what was so realistic about the scene considering all the guy did was go down on Michael Fassbender’s character while the latter closed his eyes. But then it’s Queerty and your lists are usually awful anyways.

      @Greg Mitchell: I assume that by “most realistic”, real sex doesn’t actually count, just acting that looks very real.

      @Scribe38: No matter how good the top is, if it’s gonna hurt, it’s gonna hurt. Had an experienced top for my first time and it was still painful. It works differently for everyone, some people just open up easier than others.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 2:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jwrappaport
      jwrappaport

      @Scribe38: Totally depends on the top, but I agree. I feel like I’ve been with a grand total of two tops who knew what they were doing (to put it mildly), and it really wasn’t painful. Everyone else is well summed up by Roxie’s impression of Amos’s bedroom skills in Chicago: “I love ya honey! I love ya!”

      Oct 20, 2013 at 2:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      Go to YouTube and watch Justin and Brian’s first sex scene on Queer As Folk. It looked so f*ucking real and, Justin looked like he was in REAL pain when Brian penetrated him. I personally love that one.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 2:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pistolo
      Pistolo

      My first time was so easy I had a second and third time in the same night. I’m always a little concerned when someone makes a generalizing statement like this because then we all have to answer for it. Someone’s going to see this movie and then ask me about, I am so sure.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 2:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      @Niall:
      In which case the scenes in Shortbus wouldn’t count either. What is remarkable about the scenes in “I Want Your Love”, and what makes them different from the scenes in a porn movie, is the way they are filmed, the way the camera concentrates on their faces, on their eyes, whilst at the same time not ignoring the fact that the guys are actually having sex. Sheer brilliance in my opinion

      Oct 20, 2013 at 2:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      I think it’s dangerous for people to generalise. Some guys do have a painful first time experience, some don’t. It’s different for everyone.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 2:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hephaestion
      hephaestion

      I still think the love scene in “Making Love” is the best gay sex scene ever. And Michael Ontkean & Harry Hamlin were superb and sexy as hell in it.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 4:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      I just can’t believe that some of you have topped virgins and they experienced no pain. It’s just very unlikely because my first time hurt like f*ck. I never really understood what people meant when they said “he has too many scratches on his back” but after that guy entered me, it immediately clicked. I even left him with some scratches of my own, and if he causes you no pain on the first time(even if he’s really experienced) it’s either he really took a very LONG time getting you ready(which is also unlikely because his dick would be throbbing, wanting to get in you) or he just has a small one, which isn’t really satisfying. Especially for experienced bottoms!

      Oct 20, 2013 at 4:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      @Dxley:

      Well as I said before, my first time didn’t hurt. Not one bit. Though, as I said, I was totally in love. I suppose that’s rare now. Most guys will experiment long before they fall in love.
      I can also assure you that I have topped many a guy for the first time and they have not felt any pain. Some guys need more time than others, but you have to be aware of what they are feeling and move gently.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 4:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scribe38
      Scribe38

      @Dxley: The guy who topped me used his fingers first and got me use to the sensation, then he pulled me on top of him. I controlled the pressure and force of insertion. When I could take all of it and was use to it he flipped me over. Pain wasn’t part of my experience at all. @Greg Mitchell: Yeah I was in love with my first too, maybe that was part of it.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 5:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dvlaries
      dvlaries

      @Dxley: I remember that. Newsweek talked about seeing a man’s tongue travel south on a man’s back further than ever shown before. “In its first 15 minutes, Queer As Folk rips the door off the closet, and tosses in a stick of rainbow dynamite.”
      *
      It’s far from the only such scene either, in five seasons. I’d give honorable mention to Drew Boyd (Matt Battaglia) and Emmett (Peter Paige), their motel room scene in episode 10 of season four. But many others of Brian and Justin -or Brian with one-nighters- Michael & David, Michael & Ben, and any number of Ted’s various tricks were all very bold.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 5:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rockery
      Rockery

      Oddly enough, the first thing that came into my mind when I saw the title was Bent’s “sex scene” but I instantly thought it is NOT realistic at all. I’m happy but surprised it’s on this list.

      That movie brings me to tears

      Oct 20, 2013 at 6:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rockery
      Rockery

      @dvlaries:

      Queer As Folks sex scenes were anything but that description. While they were not bad they did not do anything for me. The closest thing to being somewhat hot was that hotel scene with Drew & Emmett, but other than that it was just so flat

      Oct 20, 2013 at 6:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      Well, I was just 17 and in love(or so I thought) and he was 19 and VERY experienced. It still hurt despite all his experience but it was way better the second time around. Many of the guys I know also say it was painful and I obviously agree based on my own experience. One friend says it hurt one time when his ex just wanted sex but he wasn’t in the mood and the guy just started fucking him(well, raping him) and it hurt like hell although he was no longer virgin. At least that’s what he tells me!!! You don’t have to be in love to enjoy anal sex. I guess it’s always different for different guys!

      Oct 20, 2013 at 6:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ajai
      Ajai

      @Greg Mitchell:

      Yes, that would be Harry Potter:
      “Basically, gay sex, especially for the first time, is really fucking painful.”

      I’m assuming he’s here referring to anal intercourse as being synonymous with gay sex. Sure, that’s an assumption on my part, but either way the statement is false. I’m not offended by it, people say random things in passing, but it’s logic doesn’t hold up to critical analysis.

      Oct 20, 2013 at 6:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John Doe
      John Doe

      Brazilian film, “Do Começo ao Fim” has very good romantic scenes. Rather realistic for 2 straight Brazilian actors in my opinion.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UchCeyKUTUY

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4C-el2IIDY
      (note 1 minute mark)

      And French film, “Presque Rien” (1:05:00 mark)

      Oct 20, 2013 at 8:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cee
      Cee

      Anal sex shouldn’t be painful. Take your time, communicate and use lots of lube. That’s all. If it hurts, STOP. Duh.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 12:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evji108
      Evji108

      @Greg Mitchell: Actually, yes someone did. Daniel Radcliffe.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 4:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AngelicaCarter
      AngelicaCarter

      My Uncle Brayden recently got MINI Cooper Roadster Convertible just by part-time work from a computer. go right here,,, smarturl.it/pg1cfz

      Oct 21, 2013 at 9:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AnitaMann
      AnitaMann

      Brokeback Mountain was terrible. It was the product of a straight author, straight screenwriters, and straight actors. Nothing realistic about that sex scene. Disgraceful.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 11:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Niall
      Niall

      Good for the people who had a painful first time experience, but I just really find it hard to believe it was totally painless imo

      Oct 21, 2013 at 2:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      @Niall:

      Believe it. It is true. Just because it was painful for you does not mean it was painful for everyone. Why do some people find it hard to believe that everyone’s experience is different? I am not questioning the veracity of your statement, but you appear to be questioning the veracity of mine

      Oct 21, 2013 at 3:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      @ Niall: Exactly what I’m trying to figure out. How can the first time be totally painless? Someone’s lying in here o_O

      Oct 21, 2013 at 4:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      @Dxley:

      Well, as I said, I’m not lying. Evidently some people are too stupid (or too ignorant) to realise that not everyone has the same experience as them. And I still maintain it’s to do with what’s going on in your head. If you’ve convinced yourself that something’s going to hurt, then, sure as hell, it will.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 4:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • yaletownman
      yaletownman

      Well, I generally don’t prefer to bottom but when I have I’ve noticed it’s all depended upon my mood and the person I was with. I’ve been with guys who were pretty average and took some work to get it in there and I counted the minutes till it was out. I’ve been with other guys who were huge and it went in so well and felt so good that I’d say to myself “now I get why some people only want to bottom”. I think the sensation and level of difficulties have to with a combo of our own hangups, if any, our mood and how we feel about person topping us.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 7:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • phishy2
      phishy2

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Well, it isn’t time yet to give it a second try? Lots of lube and a top with experience that is willing to go at your speed will allow both of you to have great pleasure.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bmwblonde
      bmwblonde

      I wish more gay people would just GET what a disgusting anti-gay perpetration Brokeback Mountain was. It DRIPPED in gay stereotypes, in its quest (perhaps unconscious) to deliberately (or cynically) let fear-based, straight mom-n-pop movie-goers feel all warm and “sympathetic” for us “poor tortured gay dears.” What a SWEET story. Retch. Not really. For Brokeback reinforced the Belief (probably among all too many stuck gay people TOO), that gay love is Tragic, Hopeless and Doomed. What a crock. And how hilariously dated, with Gay Marriage cooking all over just a few years later. And that movie was made so excruciatingly “pretty” by Ang Lee, so as to be even more powerful in delivering its hokey but destructive stereotypes. And PLEASE don’t do the “duh, they were a product of their times and they WERE trapped.” That excuse dooms everyone into never getting free, doing their work, waking up – and DOING BETTER. No one here will comment on this, since Brokeback Mountain seems to have “stoned” gay audiences on the same stupid cool-aid.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 9:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kangol
      Kangol

      @Greg Mitchell:

      Exactly, I Want Your Love features real gay men (including that yummy lead singer of the Younger Lovers) having real gay sex, sweat, spit, bodies together, and all.

      One of the more disturbing gay sex scenes I’ve ever watched is the one in Tsai Ming-Liang’s The River. All I’ll say is, you never know who you might meet (meat?) and have sex with in a bathhouse.

      Oct 21, 2013 at 11:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • setharno
      setharno

      Leather Jacket Love Story has some sex scenes that looked pretty realistic.

      Oct 22, 2013 at 12:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • QNetter
      QNetter

      Really? The best thing you can say about the divine Mx Justin Vivian Bond is “Kiki of Kiki & Herb”?

      Oct 22, 2013 at 3:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Niall
      Niall

      @Greg Mitchell: Of course I can believe other people are different, but totally PAINLESS? That’s what I find it hard to believe. I think people will experience different levels of pain, maybe from 1-10, but total 0? Just seems almost impossible when you consider the muscle was built for pushing things out and not in. Except if you’ve been practising for days or weeks in advance and opening yourself up. My experience wasn’t like a screaming, “get it out of me” level of pain, but I still felt something.

      Oct 22, 2013 at 2:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      Well I certainly felt something, but it definitely wasn’t pain. Believe me. I have also topped virgins since then who told me, that they too did not feel any pain. So believe it!

      Oct 22, 2013 at 5:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AxelDC
      AxelDC

      Latter Days has a few great sex scenes. The best is the culmination of their relationship at the Salt Lake Airport hotel.

      Oct 23, 2013 at 4:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteveDenver
      SteveDenver

      @gwydion: I remember the local arthouse theater had uniformed police outside, there were such spectacular rumors. I was 15, not yet out, and desperate to see it. I bought a ticket to another movie, went to the restroom and then entered the theater where MAKING LOVE was showing. My face was hot the entire time. When I came out, the theater employee in the lobby asked how I liked it. Looking back they probably all knew what was going on and thought I was cute.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 3:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • colin4
      colin4

      There’s ‘Freefall’ German movie u guys forgot!!!!

      Apr 12, 2014 at 6:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg Mitchell
      Greg Mitchell

      @colin4: I think you’ll find Free Fall hadn’t been released when this was first posted

      Apr 12, 2014 at 6:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sfsilver
      sfsilver

      I thought “Stranger by the Lake” captured regular guys cruising in a rural setting in one of the most honest and frank ways ever http://youtu.be/PgcEGKn7waI

      Aug 19, 2014 at 1:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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