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The New Issue: Northern State

northernstate.jpg
The seasons they are a changin’. Time to put that old summer fling on the shelf and find a new love for the fall. We’re not good at that sort of thing, so we thought we’d ask the rapping ladies of Northern State – Spero, Sprout and Hesta Prynn (pictured above with Murray Hill) – for a little romantic advice. And, miraculously, they agreed.

We sent special correspondent Joey Hood out on the town with the lyrical ladies to get some game. Hood suggested Therapy’s weekly Psycho Babble where he planned to “drown” his “singledom sorrows in a couple glasses of raspberry vodka spiked with a splash of Coke”. Poor thing.

Prynn, Sprout and Spero had a better idea, “We should meet at the Rodeo Bar, because what’s gayer than a bunch of Brokeback cowboys?” There are gayer things, but we’re totally down.

In addition to dispensing invaluable advice, the ladies gave us an exclusive remix of “Iluvitwhenya”.

Check it out – and read what Hood wrote – after the jump!

——-
Fresh off their inaugural Ipecac Recordings disc, Can I Keep This Pen?, Northern State’s ditched the Sony/Columbia machine for a return to their edgier indie roots. And can I say: “Girl, those roots look good. And sound even better!”

“We went in a more electro-rock direction while still keeping it on the cusp of hip-hop,” Hesta Pyrnn tells me at the Rodeo Bar.

While at times Can I Keep This Pen? sounds like Kathleen Hanna processed through a meat grinder next to an iPod chockfull of unreleased Biz Markie recordings, the wowza-it-burns end result is marvelous, darling. For a band of liberal arts college-educated heebs, Northern State still knows how to shake that ass. And they’re currently shaking ass on a North American tour with Canuck lesbos, Tegan and Sara. “They try to tolerate our filthy mouths and wino-type habits,” Spero says.

Yes, that’s nice, but what about men? How do I land a man? The girls huddled together as if keeping ancient lesbian secrets, then released the hound dogs. Greg Behrendt, take note:

“Compliment his moustache,” nods Spero. [Hood’s note: Um, while this might work at Magnum, P.I. tribute nights, we doubt Spero’s tactic will stir the lions of Nair-ed cattle at Chelsea’s Splash bar. Point, Behrendt.]

Sprout’s advice? “Whatever you do, do it somewhat sober. Nothing screams “run” like a crunk queen slurring his words!” This seems sound. Then Hesta Pyrnn adds her two cents, “Follow the script below,”

You: Have you heard the new Northern State house remix of “iluvitwhenya”?

Him: OMG! I Looooove that band, but I haven’t yet!

You: Really? Wanna go listen in my car?

Cue: nookie.

All three lovely ladies agreed on this one: “Compliment his bag.” “Compliment his hag,” chirped Spero, garnering two knowing nods.
——-
Well, that sounds easy enough. We’ll get laid in no time. Thanks, ladies! And even if your tips don’t work, we’ll always have this “iluvwhenya” remix, which we plan on cherishing forever.


Queerty readers, you can thank the ladies by checking out their website and sending them electronic love.

By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Sep 20, 2007
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 3 Comments
    • mikaelyo
      mikaelyo

      I love this blog, but I have an important question:

      How the hell do you pronounce “Queerty”? “queer-TEE”? “queer-TAI”?

      Sep 20, 2007 at 6:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • andrew
      andrew

      Queer-tea. It’s a play on Qwerty. Look down.

      Sep 20, 2007 at 7:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • joe to hell
      joe to hell

      the one on the far right – looks like sandra bullock

      Sep 20, 2007 at 10:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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