There’s nothing quite like a creamy shot to the face to prove your unwavering gayness, but in the case of James Franco v. Gay Rumors, a facial for the sake of comedy is the furthest thing from a smoking gun.
This man is probably the only celebrity who can wish he were gay, confirm that he is gay, build his career on a foundation of utter gayness, and still be considered a darling heterosexual in the eyes of the media. Is it magic? No, it’s the future!
The fact of the matter is that James Franco is not gay. He’s not straight, either. James Franco just IS. He represents a new-age hipster ideal—free of sexual boundaries—and so long as he keeps spreading that unabashed openness to his industry pals, I’m totally cool with it.
Here are the nine gayest moments of James Franco’s career:
Let’s just go ahead and start with the whole Batmilk photo series posted to Instagram this week, which ended with a load of special sauce on James’ face. Surely an artist like James Franco wouldn’t use fake splooge for a High art multimedia project like this! Who does it belong to?
While we’re on the subject of men in Franco’s bedroom, let’s not forget the Bound 2 parody he released with Seth Rogen last week. The spot-on Kimye parody found these two notorious “bros” simulating sex—or is that love?—on top of a motorcycle. Yeah, that’s pretty gay.
Remember that time James Franco went to town on the barrel of a revolver? Of course you do. You also remember that this was how he discovered he has no gag reflex, right? Bless his soul.
James isn’t the first straight actor to perfect the art of drag, but he was the first big name to grace the cover of Candy as a trans drag queen. I’m shocked! Can’t believe he was smoking in the cover shot!
Let us not forget Interior. Leather. Bar., Franco’s collaboration with director Travis Mathews that literally put him in the middle of a seedy gay bar, drenched in sweat whilst being fondled by a muscular man in a leather harness. The Sundance entry served to recreate 40 minutes of deleted footage from 1980’s Cruising and was pretty much panned before opening weekend, but received rave reviews when everyone realized it wasn’t just about gay sex. It was about censorship, discomfort, homophobia in the media, and of course, James Franco’s body less than two feet away from anal penetration.
Of all the many times James Franco has loosely confirmed his gayness, the most compelling evidence came from a photo he leaked on Instagram. As you can see above, James Franco is clearly canoodling with another man and it looks pretty authentic. Only a man in love would use Microsoft Paint like that.
James Franco went on Spring Break this year and married Edward Norton. Jealous?
Blurring the lines between reality and fantasy, the groundbreaking performance artist inside James Franco (ha) made out with his actual being in 2010. Fantasy Franco was such a great kisser, Real Franco swapped spit with him again this year.
Last, but certainly (and obviously) not least, James Franco wrapped his beautiful lips around another man’s genitals for a 2011 NYU student film called The Broken Tower. He later revealed that the penis in his mouth was actually a dildo, but I refuse to believe it. Check it out for yourself here (NSFW).
And even though it’s not him, I’d like to think James Franco was the driving force behind convincing his brother to have sex with himself for Funny or Die: