The Predicable Casting Choices Grease‘s Gay Director Makes for Gay Version

In Los Angeles this week, Grease‘s gay film director Randal Kleiser addressed an audience of eager fans at the ArcLight Cinema, introducing his thirty-year-old film that Paramount Studios updated to make interactive. Or, more accurately, to make into a karaoke experience. Grease: Sing-A-Long slaps bouncy, animated song lyrics on the screen so audience members can, obviously, sing along to Danny and Sandy’s courtship, and it’s probably coming to a city near you. But if Kleiser had to remake Grease — again, again: the film is a remake of the 1977 Broadway show — with a gay focus, who would he cast as the leads?

“Taylor Lautner,” Kleiser says. “And, I guess, Zac Efron.”

Oh, you mean the hottest young male actors today? The ones with the super gay followings? And abs that make the gay boys swoon? Those two? For a second there we thought you’d say Christopher “McLovin’” Mintz-Plasse.

Bigger question: Who would be cast that snappy Rizzo, originally played by Stockard Channing? We’re throwing our money behind Heather Matarazzo. She can still play a high schooler, yes?