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The Spank-Worthy Christian Porn Site Mixing Values With Homoerotica

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ChristWire, a publication that bills itself as “conservative values for an unsaved world,” is actually a homosexual erotica blog, Queerty has learned exclusively.

Last seen (seriously) debating whether one or two gay sex encounters makes you a homo, ChristWire‘s Stephenson Billings now found an excuse to post photos of cute male models in Lycra while describing what it feels like getting horny while watching sweaty sports stars.

If you already exhausted today’s Morning Goods, head on over to Billings’ “Homosexuality, The Enemy Within,” now featuring hosed down twinks.

Repression is a beautiful thing, especially when splayed all over the web.

UPDATE: Clearly we’re not so well read. As commenters have pointed out, ChristWire is a spoof site. We got punk’d. And now we’re reading every ridiculous and hysterical page of the site. You should too.

By:           editor editor
On:           Sep 11, 2009
Tagged: ,
  • 13 Comments
    • james_boston
      james_boston

      Jesus! Read thru the site….it’s tongue is firmly rooted in it’s cheek (maybe other places too.) The whole thing is a complete parody. The site started off as a fake tribute site for Kansas Senator Sam Brownback & his extreme Catholicism and when he dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination early last year, it evolved into what it is now. If you read through it for more than a second, you’d realize that it’s fucking with the wacko Christians, not embracing them!

      Queerty owners: if you’re looking for some editors with a sense of the absurd, I’m here, I’m unemployed and I’ll work cheap.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 1:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • naprem
      naprem

      I hope – desperately – that Queerty does actually understand it’s a parody, and is playing along. I HOPE.

      Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Lycra, not Lyrca.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 1:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Landrew
      Landrew

      “Or you’re sitting in the steam room of your local gym and Mr Hairy Muscles to your left lets his towel slip and you gasp for air, wishing you had some thing, any thing, to grab hold of as you fall into an uncontrollable rush of flesh-toned images which have nothing whatsoever to do with the Bible or the Jeb Bush’s candidacy in the 2012 election.”

      “Well, stop right there, America!!! Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin!!! Did that shock you back to reality?”

      LOL! Whenever I have homo thoughts I shout “SARAH PALIN” and it always snaps me right out of it.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 2:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dave Johnson
      Dave Johnson

      PERFECT example of Poe’s Law.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 2:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ThatguyFromBoston
      ThatguyFromBoston

      Sheesh Japhy,

      get w/ the program!
      Love,
      Kevin

      Sep 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bart
      bart

      Strange but i find myself agreeing with some of his points. Is that wrong to agree with a fake right wing Christian blogger? I’m confused. Case in point;

      Talking about NOM: why should I write checks to cover the office expenses and catered events of a lost cause, Maggie?

      The fight against gay marriage: Maybe it’s just time we admit publicly that we’re going to lose.

      And: Maybe we can peel off some section of this country and leave the rest for the liberals and gays

      Sep 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexa
      Alexa

      @ThatguyFromBoston:

      Editorial Director David Hauslaib

      Day Editor Arthur Dunlop

      Associate Editor J.D.

      Japhy left months ago, immediately before the intelligence and humor levels here took a sharp downturn.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 3:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jon B
      Jon B

      This site is getting so hard to read lately. First off there was that ABSURD format change a few months ago, and now everytime I come here I have to type /page/1 after the address. Secondly, it has become increasingly negative and cynical, which I simply don’t care for. But third, and most importantly, it can’t sort out fact from fiction.

      While it would have been cool if you noticed it was a parody site a week ago when everyone pointed it out, I am glad you can admit that you got “punk’d”; that’s more than a lot of other sites/news programs.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 4:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bart
      bart

      Well, the Andre Bauer thing is real, I mean MIke Rogers does have solid evidence that he’s gay.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 4:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • thatguyfromboston
      thatguyfromboston

      @ Alexa – That’s too bad.

      Sep 11, 2009 at 5:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kid A
      Kid A

      @Dave Johnson: no kidding

      Sep 11, 2009 at 5:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike Barton
      Mike Barton

      @bart: I sure as hell wouldn’t want to have to write the check to pay for any catered event that Maggie goes to…

      Sep 11, 2009 at 9:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bart
      bart

      @Mike Barton: I know right? Can you imagine her around an all you can eat buffet? That woman has no self control, whether it’s to shut her mouth to food or talking nonsense.

      Sep 12, 2009 at 3:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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