“This was the way gay couples fight,” a Florida man told a police officer who found him in a car, covered in blood, after witnessing the man “wildly punching” in the direction of the driver’s seat, where his domestic partner was seated. The officer, who discovered the defendant with a bloody hand and the victim with blood on his face, hands, and clothing, noted in his police report the defendant, who was charged with domestic battery, was “adament [sic] that being hit was an acceptable behavior.”
(No, that is not a photo of the actual victim, but a zombie actor in fake blood.)
RickyBaby
Thanks for posting this. Domestic violence is a very real and scary aspect of our community and one that, like so many issues, tends not be discussed, because gays are so fab that we can’t abuse one another, right? Well, as someone who suffered through this, I think it is time we spoke openly and plainly about it. Straights are not the only ones who oppress and abuse us. Let’s look at ourselves first, as painful as that may be.
terrwill
WTF? c’mon Queerts some of us defend you guys for some of
the questionable shit you needle these threads with. But
why in the time of there being so much drama with Gay
marriage do you feel the need to add additional ammunition
for the rightwing lunatics to use????????
RickyBaby
This is not additional ammunition. It is precisely this behavior Terrwill that needs to be exposed. If you haven’t lived this situation, I guess you wouldn’t understand. Although, it seems to me, if you’re human, you should. Get your head out of the sand and take a good look at the issue. Yes, it happens in our community, much more than you would like, and much more than it ever gets reported. Queerty should be commended, not criticized for this.
terrwill
No. 3 ¡ RickyBaby: Of course it exsists in Gay relationships
just like it does in straight ones. However this thread
was not about offering any soulutions, simply creating a
headline “The Way Gay Couples Fight”, in case you haven’t
noticed our little site here has been getting some real
publicity recently, even the page 666rs peruse these posts.
I can very easily picture Maggot Gallagher baying:
“Look, this is what allowing the Gays to marry will bring about” , “it’s posted on a GAY site!!”
Sorry it is indeed additional ammunition.
Nicholas B
No. 3 ¡ RickyBaby: Sorry to say this but it is adding ammunition because of this gay hate protesters will use this and make it sound like gays cant be together because we fight. I dont think its true but the whole trial of prop 8 and gay marriage everywhere depends on no screw ups. I am learning some legal stuff because i wanna be there and help gays everywhere. FREEDOM FOR ALL!
FFA đ Farmers and now FREEDOM…..This is NicholasB I will host a gay radio later to đ Ok that is all i got to say
JR
There goes T’will talking about things he can’t comprehend again… UR so ignorant dude, please just keep your comments limited to those on the Morning Goods! Domestic abuse is a serious issue that needs to be addressed… Period! Doesn’t matter if it comes from same-sex or opposite-sex relationships! There is a pervasive cycle of abuse across the board that needs to be broken! U don’t seem to be offering any solution to the problem either, T’will!!!!!!!!!
romeo
Queerty, it’s a matter of proportion, and gay couples beat on each other far less than straight couples. Straight guys generally have a lot more of this uncontrollable shit going on. I’m in agreement that, though this is also an unfortunate occurrence even among gays, you should have checked some facts to be fairer to us.
This site’s fame and fortune are dependent on a gay hit count. Where’s that gonna go if Gallagher and the like start using it for their main source against us, like they do with those boys at Exodus?
But I’m not asking you to neuter yourselves, either. That’d kill your hit count, too. LOL
terrwill
No. 6 ¡ JR: What the fuck planet are you from??? Have
you even read any recent news?? If you can not see how
the rightwing lunatics can’t take a post like this and
use it as ammunition to deny the Gay community the same
rights and privledges as the straight community then you
don’t even know the definition of the word “comprehend”.
Just to remind you here is the headline again:
“The Way Gay Couples Fight’: By Beating the Shit Out of Each Other in a Parked Car”
Stop by the brain store on the way home from rehab,see
if you can get a defective merchandise return cause yours is sorely defective……….
RickyBaby
Sorry Terrwill, until you have been in MY shoes, you won’t understand. No, I am not buying your argument. It is a fact. Is reality, sad as it may be.
TheProfessor
@Romeo, of course there is a lack of proportion, up to a point: only in that, if we believe 10 percent of the entire population is gay, then compared to the straights, yes, it does happen less. However, we have to look at it within our community. And then I will tell you, the numbers are not so pretty.
terrwill
No. 9 ¡ RickyBaby: I never disrespected any victim of Gay
violence, I wish you well in your situation. However ther
is a place and time for everything. At this particular
time such a headline can too easily be lifted and used
against on the many fronts we are fighting this battle on…..
romeo
Professor, domestic violence is never pretty, and I’m not excusing it, but proportion in this instance is a critical factor, and Queerty’s headline on this thread is generalizing and unfair. People who are victims of domestic violence are entitled to sympathy and understanding, but they should also understand that they are going to view gay domestic violence disproportionately to its actual occurrence. And that is not fair to us as a whole. And most certainly will be used against all of us, the victims victomized even further. Beating the shit out of each other is not the way gay people treat each other generally.
Adrian
uhm, while you boys keep fighing in the comments I would like to include a link for anyone that may come accross this post and might be in need of help. visit
http://www.northernwestchestershelter.org
I did some volunteer work for them in the past
TheProfessor
I beg to differ Romeo, because abuse is not ONLY physical, that of course would mean opening a whole other can of worms: the different ways our community abuses one another in non-physical terms. Queerty is reporting this information as any other blog would that wants to present all aspects of human condition. Yes, we’re fighting on many fronts, but that does not in any way, shape or form exclude us fro looking at our own backyard and seeing what needs to be done, so that gay youth grow with some kind of role model, which they barely have right now, and learn to accept themselves and be loving to one another. You are entitled to your opinion of course, and so am I. And again, in terms of proportion, due to the statistics of gay population vs. straight, it is like comparing apples and oranges.
hyhybt
We ought not to ignore domestic violence, on the off-chance that mentioning it will aid the anti-marriage crowd, for much the same reason that we ought not ignore gay rights issues for the sake of the economy.
JohnathanHasHadIt
I’m with RickyBaby. Terrwill, shut up.
MissLaWanda
Terrriwell, or whatever ur name is, ur such an insensitive person. Ugh.
dontblamemeivotedforhillary
As a victim of domestic violence, Gays are often victimized further by the Police and then their own! Abusive people tend to deny the silent epidemic of Domestic Abuse in the Same-gender loving community. I would like to see statistics which break it down by education, income-level, access to health-care and race and gender more. The truth is that Domestic Violence is a World Epidemic from Australia to Zanzibar!
vitaminE
Honestly having domestic violence in our community doesn’t make us any different than heterosexual people. There’s no way the rightwing can use this as ammunition against us when it’s estimated that 1 in 3 women will be abused by their male partners. We as a community do have resources, NCAVP (www.ncavp.org) has a listing of all the anti-violence projects and programs in our country, that specifically work on LGBTQ domestic violence and hate crimes. It has very detailed reports about domestic violence numbers in our community.
Lukas P.
It’s important to note that there are VERY few shelters for men—straight or gay— facing domestic violence, and comparatively few counseling/assistance resources for men or women being abused by a same sex partner. I’m not an expert in domestic violence, but when I come across cases of violence in same-sex couples, the specialists I call really don’t offer much more than legal advice about orders of protection and pressing charges. Lesbians have not always been well received in some shelters, but this seems to be slowly changing. My best bet [and this is just a reflection of my experience in a couple cities] has been to contact a gay or lesbian cop who’s well networked, and sometimes they can help. Also, pro-bono LGBT attorneys are sometimes willing to take on the cases.
There’s really not much of a safety net out there for victims of same-sex violence.
vitaminE
Lukas P. -That’s why it’s important to know if there’s an AVP in your area. They will know what the best options and resources are for victims of same-sex domestic violence. Unfortunately not every state has an anti-violence project. And you are right, there are very few options for men who need shelter other than homeless shelters. Some AVPs provide emergency housing for men who can’t get into shelter.
Republican
I once heard an officer say that anyone who thinks gay men are sissies and weak should spend some time responding to domestic violence calls from gay male households. We can be very brutal.
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@ everyone
Which bit of Terrwill’s statement did you not understand.
How is he insensitive?
He said if Queerty had bothered to write an engaging and thoughtful solution on a TERRIBLE issue, than it would be really GOOD but instead what they’ve done,which they always do, is right a really messed up title about gays beating each other up.
I mean come on, it wasn’t that far out.
Derek
Sorry but the idea that the Right is going to quote some article on Queerty about guys thumping on each other in their fight against gay marriage is just totally laughable to me and taking things just a bit to extremely.
The amount of time that some people spend (waste) responding to almost each and ever post here and almost each and every comment is just mind boggling. I sure hope you are spending as much time helping to wage the war on “the many fronts we are fighting this battle on.” Christ almighty…..
Yuki
The title here is satirical, in case you guys haven’t noticed. Read the article; the guy that got beaten up is quoted as saying this. He probably thinks so because he’s in an abusive situation and many people in those situations make excuses for the abusers. Queerty doesn’t actually mean the headline to be truthful. Note the quotation marks.
terrwill
No. 23 ¡ John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s): Thanks for using a little bit of reason. It is sad, once upon a time (not too long ago) Queerts was a place where one could go cyberstroll over to these threads and engage in sometimes lively debate over the issues. Unfortunately someone must have overturned a lot of rocks recently to set a lot of miserable trolls free. Instead of intelligent dialouge we see nothing but personal attacks. Methinks many of these asshats are nothing but cybertrolls, who simply wander thru various sites like little kids in a playground striving for attention………
Fitz
Guys— just from a provider’s perspective…. gay DV is a huge problem. It is for hettys too.. My only insight is that maybe the rage in us is even worse because of the social injustices we face. I don’t know. I am not going to do like some members of some minorities who refuse to acknowledge some problems within their world for the sake of looking good.
James UK
Gay man #1 punching his lover, gay man # 2 in the head, is not a reason why gay men #3 and #4 should not be allowed to get married.
It is a reason perhaps why gay man # 1 should be in jail.
And if gay man # 1 and # 2 were indeed married to each other, a ground for his being divorced by gay man #2.
There is no reason to give NOM any credence or to lose an ounce of our own self worth by discussing the issue on any terms, real or imagined, as set out by the anti-gay lobby.
And telling someone who is the victim of domestic violence to just shut the fuck up in case the NOM lobby use it against us is as grossly offensive as it is stupid.
The fight for gay marriage and ENDA and against DOMA and DADT is for our right to be whoever we want to be, not to be a hollowed out version of ourselves acceptable to Maggie Gallagher et al.
Which of course would require us all to drink the Kool Aid.
RickyBaby
Terrwill, I come back here and I read more stupidity coming from you. It is really mindboggling that now you have to call cybertrolls those people who disagree with you on such a traumatic issue. I mean, man, not only do you spend an awful time on here, instead of “fighting the war on all fronts”, but then come to spit your venom.
It is because of people like you that our movement does not move forward. THINK, my God, think before you write your garbage. There is no if, and or but regarding domestic violence. To link that to our crusade for marriage is absolutely ludicrous and has nothing to do with the cause. As I am sure you have noticed, most people on this thread have disagreed with you on this issue. And rather than saying, “Hey, OK, I goofed on this one”, you hang on to the one person who sided with you. Wow. Amazing and sad.
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@ Rickybaby
You were called a ‘troll’ because he posts on here ALL the time, for a while AND he didn’t start insulting YOU. But you started insulting HIM.
Again, did you not read his post? Did he not say this was important but his issue was with how Queerty posted this?
What more do you guys need? A kick in the teeth? Sorry for the pun but the right call you ALL sorts of things under the sun. There arguments againste gays are so illogical that I wonder if Americans have any brain cells but somehow you are ‘doubtful’ that these overzealous right wing crazy christian nut jobs that spend their whole time trolling the internet to put down gays would somehow use gay domestic violence against gays?
From a site that hate it or hate and with all these bad editing mistakes STILL has had some press on TV and Media would be ignored?
You are right now in a huge court case led by a Conservative super lawyer. These prop 8 people with illogical argumentes have had the AUDACITY to come this far…to frigging court…with NO ARGUMENT except religion (although that is STILL wrong!) and you think that it’s wrong for Terrwill to ask a gay online media site to write a decent article about a hugely personal and terrible issue within the gay community, instead of a flaming issue that is likely to stir the wrong attention?
Do you not get this?
People, the people against you in this country are not that bright. They don’t get ‘satire’ or ‘snark’.
Come on.
B
No. 3 ¡ RickyBaby wrote, “This is not additional ammunition.” … what I might call “additional ammunition” is the picture with an ignorable caption (not even part of the image) saying, “(No, that is not a photo of the actual victim, but a zombie actor in fake blood.)”
We don’t have to give the other side fabricated pictures that might look worse than what actually happened.
RickyBaby
@30: John from England, your post is nonsensical and rambling. Don’t address me anymore please.
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@ Rickybaby
Okay. I appreciate that.
Hugz! đ
Happy thoughts….’we’re all in this together life is too short to waste being a pr*ck on a website’
Signed ‘The Rambler’.
RickyBaby
Prick? You’re speaking for yourself, right?
HotYoungStud
I wanna smack u all bitches!
James UK
Handbags down ladies!
James UK
Translation :-
US: Purse UK: Handbag
RomanHans
We can’t censor our news because we think idiots will use it against us. If they start to, then we fight back.
(On another gay blog there was a story about Amanda Simpson, Obama’s transgender appointee. And for some reason an allegedly reasonable person seized that opportunity to disparage transgender people, telling the story about how they dated somebody they thought was a man, and it ended up he didn’t have a dick.
The moral: it ain’t just the heteros who are idiots, folks.)
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@ RomanHAns
Agree. We ALL agree I think, no?
Say NO to censorship. Say YES to great journalism. Whoopee!
I’ve just been on a really interesting site re gay domestic violence. A link would’ve been nice to be added to the article but hey, I’ll do it!
http://www.gmdvp.org/gmdvp/index.htm
@ James UK
Lol. My handbag-purse has been put down beside me. _puts head down_
đ
terrwill
No. 39 ¡ John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s): I think you will notice that a certain someone has disappeared from this site, after a link to a site which called for his true identity, pointing to quotes he made on various sites making death threats to others, and a link to the FBI site to send info on said person. Now he has disappeared and all these new posters have appeared in these threads, whom I can not recall ever seeing prior to this recent spate of hate on these threads. Jus sayin……..Just ignore DickyBaby, he too will go away like his other identity……….
DickyBaby………Nice try!
RickyBaby
@Terrwill,
You’re a nutcase. I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is the first time I ever post on here, and if you care to read my first posting, it was a sensible one commending Queerty for bringing out into the light this very taboo subject among us. I don’t know who Dickybaby is and I don’t care, because, as far as I can tell, you seem to spend a lot of time on here criticizing others and commenting, rather than actually doing something constructive.
Think whatever you want, I don’t give a rat’s ass because you obviously are so narrow-minded that you cannot see the importance of the subject being discussed in this posting. YOU are the one who started criticizing what I wrote in the first place, you are the one who called those with different opinions than yours a cybertroll. SO, it is bullies like you that ruin the experience for everyone. Luckily I have a life, and I work for the cause against domestic violence, something you obviously know nothing about. Keep sitting on your fat ass spewing garbabe. You reek of it.
Regan Du
Denying this stuff happens makes it meaningful when the other side finds it. Instead of being human issues, it then becomes a cover up problem, denying the obvious.
Terrwill, keep on thinking like that. YOUR message is Maggie Gallagher approved.
You are the best friend heterosexuals can have in the gay community. Few do more to promote traditional marriage than YOU do.
Lukas P.
When cops arrive at 2 gay guys’ residence after call from neighbors about a “domestic,” police have been sometimes known not to interview the two separately (which would be typical procedure with a m/f couple), or to tell the injured party to “stay away” from the other. Or to tell the victim “you have to defend yourself.”
Those are stories I’ve heard from individuals and couples. I’ve heard more stories about Cops who knew what to do and did it, but there are still problems. I don’t think it’s a question necessarily of bad/evil cops, but rather of lack of training. Asking two guys “Are you two together” may not just flow off the tongue.
Most of the police officers I’ve been dealt with at work have been good solid people. If some are a little jaded, it’s hard to blame them. When they get some education on DV & same-sex couples, AND when there’s some channel of communication open between cops and the community center (or other orgs), the police get better results. So, I’m told.
p.s. TERRWILL (No. 40). I was wondering what happened to “it” and its adorable (inflatable?) wife. If you read any follow up, please post about it.
Attila
This is such a typically gay response to an issue. “We have to keep up appearances for the straights”. We do this by hiding genderqueers, butch women, femme guys, by dropping discussion of HIV or drug addiction. There are a lot of issues that we have to deal with as a community, instead of hiding them. Getting abused is bad enough already, but then being silenced to keep up this image that we are all happy double-income monogamous couples makes things far worse.
What the gay community did well at one point, and what got us where we are, was to be fearless with straights. We talked about HIV and we embraced all of the different “perverted” subsects within our community. We need to talk about issues that affect us honestly. Fellow gays are abusing each other because we have learned this pattern of violent interaction from the larger culture. And now instead of questioning that culture of abuse and trying to offer an alternative to the marriage paradigm, we are trying so hard to embrace it.
What I like about Queerty is that it is very gay. I want images of shirtless men spliced between my morning news. I also appreciate all the times that the site has covered bashings, since that’s another unfabulous topic we seem to fear discussing. So thank you Queerty for posting this.
So to all the silencers: how about instead of being defensive “straight-acting” cowards–you’re only fooling yourself anyway–you go on the offensive. Dig up dirt about the straights, about all the child abuse, wife-beating, infidelity, and hypocrisy that goes on. God damn, they give us so much fodder and we never take it. Why is the Catholic Church still a reputable organization when obviously it is just a giant cover for child abusers? Marriage is now more likely to end in divorce than to last forever. Why not talk about that?
We’re so pathetic. We get a little taste of power and we are willing to sell our fellow gays down the river so that a few of us can participate in a straight ritual.
terrwill
No. 43 ¡ Lukas P.: I like your description of “it” and her polyester vagina, there was a link I posted about another blogger who was attempting to trak it down. It had been making death threats on various other sites and supposdly the FBI had gotten involved in the investigation. Since then it has all but disappeared. However suddenly there are a some new posters here who have never posted on any of these threads prior who seem to know a lot about the posters here……….jus sayin!
No. 11 ¡ terrwill
No. 9 ¡ RickyBaby: I never disrespected any victim of Gay
violence, I wish you well in your situation. However ther
is a place and time for everything. At this particular
time such a headline can too easily be lifted and used
against on the many fronts we are fighting this battle on
DickyBaby (you are called here what you are), reread the above post. You are the one who first spewed personal insults. Don’t play the freakin martyr. And I will again reiterate my original post. Some of us are deep into this battle for Gay marriage. My ex was dying and I had to fight tooth and nail to even get into the fucking hospital to visit him. His parents fought and even went so far as to attempt to hire private security guards to prevent me from entering the room. So I am going to be very vocal as to anything which I feel can contribute to the lunatics who’s life mission is to deny us our rights. And if you can not see how a headline “‘The Way Gay Couples Fight’: By Beating the Shit Out of Each Other in a Parked Car” posted on a Gay site can not hurt the cause you are way out of touch with reality…….
Chitown Kev
Lawdie, queerty is startin’ shit again.
RickyBaby
@TERRWILL
DickyBaby my ass. Go call that to your mother, you pathetic freak and lunatic.
As for your husband and your fight for marriage, that has nothing to do with this story. BOY, TALK ABOUT PLAYING THE MARTYR, bringing out the dying hubby and your struggle. YOU are sick. Please do not write regarding me anymore.
terrwill
DickyBaby..You are a pathetic hate spewing loser. Your kind is not welcome in these threads. Your first posts are throwing out insults and hate. Maybe when you got beaten it denied you the ability to think straight. Be gone loser…………
Ms.Kumbaya
Ladies ladies, please! Enough. Drop it Terrwill and RickyBaby. Terrweill, Ricky’s first post here starts with “Thanks.” Yours starts with “WTF?”, so you did start the confrontation by indirectly critizcing what he had written. I can see it’s a very personal issue for Ricky, just like the one for gay marriage is for you. But anger is not going to get us anywhere. Let’s make peace and move forward. Thank you.
RickyBaby
@Terrwill
And you need to get a life Terrdick Terrwill. What a scumbag and a cyberbully. You are on every thread here pushing your views and insulting those who do not agree with you. Freak, you must have a LOT of time on your hands to be just doing this. You think I had posted here before and I am someone else? Alright, prove it. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. You disgust me so much.
dingo
@Attila: Well stated Attila! One of the things I enjoy about QUEERTY is that they cover everything.
terrwill
@Ms.Kumbaya: Well written, although someone else spewed the first insult. I am going to take the high road here and 100% agree with you. Life is too short to waste keystrokes on some people here. We need more posters like you here……Thanks
Adrian
this comment thread plays out like a novella. really? are you guys really fighting and calling each other names in the comments section? As much as I find it entertaining it kinda hurts to see people who should be on the same side, fighting the same fight, eat each alive.
come on, we are better than that. we may disagree on how to personally handle gay issues but attacking each other by name calling is unnecessary.
again, it’s entertaining watching it from the outside until I realize that I am a gay male too and I hate to see my kind fight amongst each other during a time when we should be helping one another.
as much as we may disagree with each other we have to learn to treat each other with a little more respect. because at the end of the day a straight gay basher won’t care what your opinion is on how queerty should preset gay issues – that gay basher will still aim that baseball bat at your head.
Ms.Kumbaya
Thank you Mr. Terrwill. Very glad to read this change of tone. And let’s just consider this: RickyBaby maybe a totally different person from the DickyBaby. Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt. I noticed Ricky became more and more upset throughout this thread but you instigated him in that way with the name and I see he’s very adamant about not being compared to that other person. So, maybe it’s a case of mistaken identity. I hope we can get back on track and focus our energies where they are needed. Otherwise we would be giving credence to the stereotype of all of us as bitchy little girls. Go in peace my dear Terrwill and Ricky Baby.
terrwill
@Adrian: I agree with you and I promise this is my last post on this topic! If you will look at the evidence, I think you will agree I didn’t start this bitchslap fest!
#2 I admonished Queerts for putting in a headline which I still stand by can be lifted by Maggot Gallagher and her wicked minions to hurt the Gay marriage cause.
No. 9 ¡ RickyBaby
Sorry Terrwill, until you have been in MY shoes, you won’t understand. No, I am not buying your argument. It is a fact. Is reality, sad as it may be.
No. 11 ¡ terrwill
No. 9 ¡ RickyBaby: I never disrespected any victim of Gay
violence, I wish you well in your situation. However ther
is a place and time for everything. At this particular
time such a headline can too easily be lifted and used
against on the many fronts we are fighting this battle onâŚ..
No. 29 ¡ RickyBaby
Terrwill, I come back here and I read more stupidity coming from you. It is really mindboggling that now you have to call cybertrolls those people who disagree with you on such a traumatic issue. I mean, man, not only do you spend an awful time on here, instead of “fighting the war on all fronts”, but then come to spit your venom.
From that point on there was nothing but vile poo spewing from Ricky. I have been posting here for a while. I am very vocal in my defense of Gay issues. I am very willing to toss some creative verbage at those who hate on us. I will engage in intelligent dialouge with anyone. However once someone gets a little sand in their vagina and gets all cranky and starts hurling insults in my direction, I will respond in kind. I 100% agree with you and MsKumbya (love that name) that we should direct our missives towards those who hate on us……..Thanks
RickyBaby
Vile poo Terrwill? Really? Picking up on Ms. Kumbaya’s well-thought argument: just tell me, what is the first word on your post here, hummm? WHAT? IT’s WTF. And mine???
THANKS.
And then you went on criticizing what I had just commented, and further down, you called me a cybertroll. Because it did not occur to you that I could be a different person from this other one you have some sort of grudge against. And of course, the manly thing to do would’ve been to say, “geez, maybe I screwed up, gosh, I’m sorry.” But no, your ego and sanctimonious attitude got the best of you. Since you think you are some high doyenne here, imparting wisdom and commenting on everything and bullying people who have other points of view. So no, until I get a full apology from you, I don’t want to hear from you. You pay lip service to Ms. Kumbaya by saying it’s true we should fight the enemy, and then you come back and direct your venom at me. How old are you? 3? It shows. Infantile and cruel. Good day sir.
I pliss
My goodness all the sequence is hitting the floor from you two throwing your pocket books at each other. Both of you have a valid point. Queerty can post whatever they want when they want. Do I think it’s bad timing? Maybe. But all you kids fighting for Marriage need to see the ugly side of it as well. Married or not DV exist in and throughout every culture and community. It should be said on the brink of us fighting to be equal. that it is not all find and dandy. Terrwill makes a valid point about posting the live twitter court about marriage then stuffing us with the DV. Rickbaby, I never been a part of DV but my mother was killed because of that. So I am empathetic to what you have to say. For every good there is a bad. So all those that want to get married know who you are getting married too. in Straight relationship it’s I love you I love you I love then they get married and your mine and you better do as I say or you get your ass bust! and not in a good way. So both have points made but I’m not faulting Q for posting this subject. It’s can’t hurt us because our Senators are beating there girlfriends, cheating on their wives, and getting divorced left and right.
Nicholas B
@JR:
listen i know it is serious but some straight people act like it doesnt happen with straights and gays so dont talk to me like im stupid got it
Ms.Kumbaya
I give up. It’s easier to mediate peace with North Korea and Iran than in a room full of queers. I’m vogueing my way outta here…
terrwill
@RickyBaby: In the spirit of Ms.Kubya and Adrian I am going one ‘mo time………..
No. 16 ¡ JohnathanHasHadIt
I’m with RickyBaby. Terrwill, shut up.
Posted: Jan 12, 2010 at 12:38 pm ¡ @Reply ¡ [Flag?] No. 17 ¡ MissLaWanda
Terrriwell, or whatever ur name is, ur such an insensitive person. Ugh.
These were the two that comment was directed towards. And a little back story. There was a troll who was clinicaly physcotic who would write these diatribes against posters on these threads, and other sites. He would insinuate that he was in law enforcment and had the ability to track down and meet to “take care” of said person. After it became known that there might be an FBI investigation into this cyberlunatic, he disappeared from these threads. Then suddenly new posters whom no one could ever recall seeing on these threads picked up wherest he left off tossing insults at posters, and looking to make what was once upon a time a neat place to go discuss, debate and have a dialouge fairly nasty. I will give you the benefit of the doubt thinking that cybertroll was directed at you, because it wasn’t……….
Cantweallgetalong
Guys, please please please, enough.
Terrwill, by putting examples from Jonathanhad it and MissLawanda, what are you saying? that they can’t express themselves? Just because they disagree does not make them that cyberlunatic. You seem like a very intelligent guy so, let’s move on!!!
jbran
@I pliss: For me, the issue is not whether Queerty should post it or not. The information was already out there, they’re linking to it. The problem is that it’s crappy journalism. They didn’t take any effort to create a point of view in their coverage, but they were irresponsible enough to add an inflammatory headline and photo. As for this story being “ammunition” for opponents of same-sex marriage, I don’t know. The real embarrassment is that a blog as lazy as Queerty is considered one of the news sources of record for our community.
mojojojo
Can’t we all just get along?
hyhybt
@mojojojo: Obviously not đ
Lukas P.
Being honest, I’d say Queerty has some huge pluses and a few minuses. Sites like Towleroad and AfterElton, etc. cover the news much more completely and professionally. What they lack is an engaged readership of commenters going back and forth — AND having that commentary be an integral part of that topic thread.
Comments here aren’t moderated prior to posting, flagging violaters of the comments policy hasn’t been an option since I’ve started here, and so the trolls haunt the threads until they’re ignored or the thread dies off. When the trolls don’t takle over we have GREAT discussions here. We have a very diverse and colorful group of regular commenters here.
The question for Queerty and readers/commenters is: What do we want this place to be like? I’m sure that question has been asked and talked about long before I got here, but each time you post and we comment, it’s a decision about how professional or casual do we want to be, it’s a matter of trying to rise above namecalling and smear campaigns to debate issues and opinions. It’ s about finding the right mixture of smarts, snark, and spark.
[And spanking!]
Fitz
Lukus, nice sentiment– except that this is more bus stop than group– and the bungee freaks can easily ruin an otherwise useful and entertaining engagement.
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@ LukasP
You read the comments in Towlearoad?
It’s the same old dudes and with much more connection than on Queerty but to be fair just as bitchy, racist, crazy…although not as bad because people like to debate more on Towleroad.
Joe.My.God is a good one…
Queerty wasn’t so bad a few months back before they got rid of Japhy and than got rid of alot of the really interesting commenters…
Lukas P.
@JOHN AMONG MANY JOHNS (no. 67)
Yep, I do read those, including a quick skim of comments–but I save a special spot in my heart, as always, for the Underdog, e.g. here! Here the page layout seems to be conducive to jumping into the fray — which has its pluses and minuses. I dislike sites where people are trying too hard to be the most intell., connected, popular person on the board. Otherwise, a raucus, on-topic, well-informed discussion that is reasonably well mannered is a joy to watch or participate in.
The Joe.My.G~D site helped crash down the site of the Barefoot Bride who’d protested Martha Stewart’s highlighting a gay wedding. Great writer.
So where did/do the interesting commenters go to?
nowliveit
@terrwill: Hiding the truth NEVER pays off. And that is such a bad argument. It’s like growing up in an alcoholic household and hearing from the enabler spouse: don’t rock the boat. As if not telling the truth would actually help us progress forward.
The right wing that attacks us could give a f#*k about anything we think or say. They are in there own self-absorbed World Of Denial bouyed by a philosophy of love disguised by hate doing only what they know how to do: judge, condemn and point fingers at others blaming them for their own woes in life.
Thus, we should do everything and anything to become a healthy community. And this includes addressing an issue that does appear to happen in OUR community.
One more… Realize that the abuser and the abused probably learned this behavior from the perfect straight marriages that we ALL grew up in. That role model that we seek?!?!?
James/Erstin
umm…. you realize your all fighting like feminists? you all have the same general idea but fighting like this wpnt get us any where. it’s just ammo for those son of a bitch bible thumping conservative to use against us. (no offence to religious or semi-conservative LGBTQ persons)