Gays and lesbians can still marry in Massachusetts. For now.
The proposed constitutional amendment that would have ended same-sex marriage, but legalized second-rate civil unions was overwhelmingly rejected by the state legislature.
Bitched Representative Phil “Hatemonger” Travis, D-Rehoboth:
The union of two women and two men can never consummate a marriage. It’s physically impossible. We can’t get around that. You can be a family, absolutely. You can be loving, and I respect that absolutely. But you’re not married.
He then picked up his pitchfork and hurled himself into a flaming hole that opened up behind him.
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Still, another proposed amendment is looming. This would ban both gay marriage and civil unions. The war isn’t over, ladies, but we’re well on our way to victory.