They Can’t Take That Away From Us

Gays and lesbians can still marry in Massachusetts. For now.

The proposed constitutional amendment that would have ended same-sex marriage, but legalized second-rate civil unions was overwhelmingly rejected by the state legislature.

Bitched Representative Phil “Hatemonger” Travis, D-Rehoboth:

The union of two women and two men can never consummate a marriage. It’s physically impossible. We can’t get around that. You can be a family, absolutely. You can be loving, and I respect that absolutely. But you’re not married.

He then picked up his pitchfork and hurled himself into a flaming hole that opened up behind him.

Still, another proposed amendment is looming. This would ban both gay marriage and civil unions. The war isn’t over, ladies, but we’re well on our way to victory.