SHADY LADIES

This Is The Most Delusional Cast In “Drag Race” History

tumblr_n3bn1iqKtP1t1rvzco3_500This week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the nine remaining queens were split into teams and asked to write and perform their own rap verses for Ru’s new single Oh No She Better Don’t. It was a really underwhelming and rushed challenge, but rap Goddesses Eve and Trina were in the house, and Ru managed to sneak in a “baddest bitch” joke, so all is well at the end of the day.

This week’s mini-challenge was the reading challenge, obviously one of the fan favorites for every season. I’d say everyone did well (save Laganja, surprise), though nothing too memorable happened. Don’t expect to get any usable gifs from this week.

We’re at the point in the season where the obvious winners are emerging and the rest are lining up for elimination — those who whine and stir shit will manage to stay the longest, and those managing to remain “safe” week after week will slowly sashay away one by one.

Aside from a pungent and shady letter from departed queen Gia Gunn, the greatest moments of this episode focused on three major delusions: Darienne Lake thinks she’s talented, Laganja Estranja thinks she has a remote chance at making it to the final three, and the audience thinks this competition is fair.

Let me explain.

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Darienne Lake is delusional

Every season of Drag Race gives birth to one entitled queen who, despite being completely void of talent, believes that she actually has a chance at making it to the final three and spends more time reading others than she does improving her own game. This season’s resident hack is Darienne Lake, a queen I really didn’t have a problem with at first (she was cute, nothing special), until her insecurities turned her into a mean bitch.

Representing the “big girl” camp, Lake had promise at first. Her fashion choices are obviously limited, which wouldn’t be a problem if she had an interesting story to tell or an ounce of humanity (think Latrice Royale). But she won the (obviously fixed) mini-challenge this week and decided to create drama with BenDeLaCreme — she chooses the “talented” girls to be on her team, and leaves DeLa to lead the team of “non-performers.” She’s later confronted in the workroom and tells everyone her strategy is “none of their fucking business.” She obviously hoped this would become the “Party City” workroom confrontation moment of this season, but didn’t realize nobody at home would care.

The fact that Lake has chosen DeLa as her arch nemesis speaks volumes. As the first winner of two challenges and a consistent top three finisher, DeLa poses the greatest threat to Lake because she’s campy, fun, and likable, the only three crutches Lake has to fall back on. She’s intimidated. She’s delusional for picking a fight with DeLa instead of using her as an ally. This season is not about you, hunty.

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Laganja Estranja is delusional

I feel like I want Laganja Estranja to stick around for the same reason I wanted Phi Phi and Roxxy to stick around until at least the final five. Every season needs at least one bitch queen for entertainment value — someone who reads the competition totally opposite of the audience and thinks they’re the shit. They’ll later apologize at the reunion after seeing how terribly wrong about everything they were.

But the longer Laganja sticks around, the more I feel like she needs to go quickly because she needs to seek professional help. After last week’s “I don’t like you but I don’t know why” and “You were rude but I can’t tell you when” confrontations on Untucked, she’s confident that she’s going to slay the rap challenge. Not-so spoiler alert: Laganja blah blahs about the choreography challenge being “her challenge” and gets a whole 30 seconds of airtime in the workroom, when Adore tells her how much the choreography sucks. Womp.

(I can’t wait for the Adore/Laganja friendship to boil over. Ganj is without friend now that Gia has sashayed away, and I can only imagine her imminent elimination is going to be tearful at the very least.)

Like Darienne Lake, why does Laganja think she’s being gypped during group challenges? Can’t they just accept that they’re not the best queens this season and make the best of the filler time they have? Do a Jiggly, ladies! Entertain us until you’re gone and we’ll love you unconditionally for it! Nobody remembers a bitch post-season.

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The audience is delusional

Full disclosure: I thought Milk was going to make it to the final three on Week 1, but started to lose interest as the season progressed. That being said, I didn’t think it was fair to place her in the bottom two this week and it definitely wasn’t her time to go. She may not be top three material anymore, but ranking below Darienne Lake and losing to Trinity are a slap in the face as far as I’m concerned.

If Milk deserved to go this early, her time to lip synch and sashay away was LAST week. I’m still feeling chills from that awful male drag getup and the fact that nobody read her for it on the runway — her elimination this week was obviously based on last week’s shenanigans. The audience is totally delusional if they think anything else.

Based on the final rap video, it was clear that the two underperforming queens this week were Trinity and Darienne — they couldn’t even remember their lines in the best of three takes. Milk’s outfit may have been “way off” in Michelle’s opinion, but why are we ignoring the fact that Darienne Lake wore a sheer trash bag and sunglasses? Her safety this week is almost as insulting as Milk’s safety last week.

If nothing else, the two weeks of botched eliminations clearly prove RuPaul has an agenda, and those who stay are those who are making the biggest fuss in front of the camera. Darienne stays because she’s stirring up shit with DeLa, an obvious final three choice. Trinity stays because her story lends a hand to Logo’s partnership with Gilead and the “no stigma” PSAs they’re pushing. It’s so transparent.

Now on to everyone else:

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Joslyn Fox

This diva is starting to grow on me, and I think it’s a shame it took this long for her to snag everyone’s attention. Her performance in the Snatch Game last week was pretty awesome and even after Michelle read her runway look, she gagged me this week. I see her as this season’s Dida Ritz. She needs work, but she’ll stick around until the top 5.

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BenDeLaCreme

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of Drag Race season 6. Bianca will come in a close second, but anyone who watches Drag Race can see this pattern: we’ve had multi-talented character queens win two seasons in a row (they’re Ru’s favorite). It’s time for a beauty queen to be crowned, and DeLa represents the best of both worlds.

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Trinity K. Bonet

I must say, Trinity does an incredible Black Cher. But every time her mouth opens I want to scream. She complains too much. I can’t.

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Milk

I’m almost relieved that Milk is gone this week. It got tiring trying to root for her every week even though she was consistently failing. She’s a less talented Alaska, and if this look was her best attempt at “full glam,” I think we’ve seen enough.

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Laganja Estranja

I have to LMAO every time Laganja comes out on the runway. One of these days she’s going to stomp right through that damn stage and I really hope the fall knocks the word “mama” out of her vocabulary permanently.

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Darienne Lake

That panty line is horrific. I’m through with Darienne Lake.

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Bianca Del Rio

As someone who has known Bianca Del Rio for years, I’m glad her softer side is getting some airtime this season. I was worried her brash comic personality would read awfully on camera, but there’s been a few instances where her motherly side has shown through. She’s the kind of queen that will read you and make sure you have a drink ticket in the same sentence. A winner in my book.

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Adore Delano

Adore is my underdog this season. She’ll definitely end up in the top three and inspire the entire cast of season 15 to go out in drag for the first time this summer. Her face and outfits are never really the best, but neither were Jinkx Monsoon’s. As I said above, you don’t need those things to win this competition.

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Courtney Act

I think I speak for everybody when I say Courtney Act has been really underwhelming this season. She was pegged pre-season as the queen to watch and so far, hasn’t done anything to write home about. A sleeping bag and women’s underwear on the runway? Wow, such talent. Zzzzz.

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