Miley Cyrus is facing swift backlash for some questionable comments she made on her Instagram story over the weekend about being gay.
“I just always thought I had to be gay because all guys are evil, but it’s not true,” she said, referring to her current coupling with Cody Simpson. “You don’t have to be gay, there are good people with d*cks out there – you’ve just got to find them.”
She added: “I’ve only met one,” an apparent swipe at ex-husband Liam Hemsworth.
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"I always thought I had to be gay because I thought, all guys were evil but it’s not true" – Miley Cyrus pic.twitter.com/23RBA8QBug
— MTV UK (@MTVUK) October 21, 2019
While she was clearly joking, the Twitterverse lit up with criticism that the singer was perpetuating the very real and damaging myth that being gay is a choice.
Related: Miley Cyrus wants you to know: she’s still “very sexually attracted to women”
Miley Cyrus just told people on Instagram that "you don't have to be gay." So there you have it. The dumbest thing she's ever said. pic.twitter.com/Y7bq9VACEI
— One Rae Only (@konstantly_Rae) October 21, 2019
Miley Cyrus saying ‘you don’t have to be gay there’s good dick out there’ is so fucking problematic that I’m pissed off most of you out there can’t see that.
— .name. (@infinityfaces) October 21, 2019
Miley Cyrus is a JOKE! Telling woman they don't have to be gay that they just have to "find the right dick"! Miley you washed up hasbeen, it don't work like that idiot. And her boyfriend Cody Simpson just sat there & laughed & agreed. Another hasbeen. pic.twitter.com/VJyxzOHdlW
— Joey? (@Mindflayyerr) October 21, 2019
It's narratives like that that fuel conversion therapies where they force you to look at other genders because they believe "it's a choice" and they're teaching you to make the right bread choice for life, clit size or baguette.
Disgusting narrative. WTF @MileyCyrus?— KodySage (@KodySage) October 21, 2019
Miley, this is so not it. Women don’t “have to be gay” because they “can’t find a good person with a d*ck”.
Don’t use the queer community as a stop-gap because you couldn’t find a boyfriend.
People aren’t queer because they “gave up” on men.
This is so insulting. pic.twitter.com/lAzcEjHRcB— Rosie Percy (@rosiepercy) October 21, 2019
I’m sorry. I’m confused. Did @MileyCyrus really say that she thought she had to be gay because there weren’t any good guys out there? Is she saying she was choosing to be gay? This statement is extremely harmful if true and I hope she clarifies it. pic.twitter.com/3SrRXp55TT
— Allison Eyres (@allisoneyres) October 21, 2019
In February, Cyrus told Elle that she identifies as “a queer person.”
“I’m in a hetero relationship, but I still am very sexually attracted to women,” she said.
James
WHAT A STUPID COMMENT. IDIOT.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
She has been nothing but supportive of our community…. Again idiots attack allies of our community…..
Brian
There was no way this was gonna slip past the perpetually outraged. I don’t know how Miley didn’t realize that, as woke has she portrays herself to be.
Catholicslutbox
It didn’t come off as a “joke,” so I can understand their outrage.
It also wouldn’t be the first time an “ally” changed sides and “found religion.”
Donston
Miley may be “supportive”, but she’s also always been problematic. Let’s not forget that just a couple of years ago she was insinuating that “gay men” like Mariah Carey because they’re shallow and all about illusions. Even if she was completely joking here, this is a woman currently in a hetero relationship (who’s had one non hetero “relationship” that lasted for like two months), yet she’s someone the youth is trying to make a “queer icon”. She is supposedly “woke” now. She should know better. Are there women out there who date females primarily because they feel are men are “bad” or they can’t find a “good man”. Sure. But you’re undermining people who have legit and sustained same-sex passions, affections, love, comfort, relationship contentment. And honestly, what’s she’s saying is something similar to what my sister told me when I told her I wanted to be with a guy: You’ll find the right girl eventually, you ain’t homosexual so you should just be with girl, you must hate women. So, no, it can’t just be easily dismissed as a joke. Right now Miley seems most interested in getting attention and aggravating her estranged husband. That’s all that seems to be driving her. This is one of the issues with embracing people who are non-hetero but have mainly have hetero ambitions as “queer folk”.
If we’re going to constantly confront heteros and homos not understanding or accepting fluidity, the choice of identity, and the gender, romantic, sexual, affection, relationship spectrum then we also need to confront the tendency of many “queers” (particularly “queer white women”) to resent the gay identity, to promote internalized homophobia, to promote shame for having overall same-sex preferences and ambitions, to use their “queer” identities for the sake of edge and to be seen as a victim while mostly maintaining hetero-normalcy, to make everyone else pay for their convolutions and internal struggles. The criticisms can’t just go one way.
RyanMBecker
So you think her comment, taken as stated, is a one that doesn’t deserve criticism? Step in the shoes of a young fan, confused about her sexuality. Keep in mind that many tweens and teens don’t have the critical thinking that [most] adults have. And that their idea of news is what comes from social media or the mouths of celebrities. Or imagine the glee of the ex-gay movement.
So you think that comment should just go unscathed?
maxdadmark
This past-her-freshness date “singer” is in the early stages of Nicolette Sheridan damnation.
richard 14
Miley is tiresome.
azjeff17
Miley is such a thirsty skank.
drmiller
Good grief. She was not out to get anyone, she was just talking about her own experiences; she’s allowed to feel and think. All these pearl clutching queens (something i usually am) need to relax. She has been so, so supportive of the LGBTQ community. She is an ally folks, let’s keep perspective here.
Donston
Can we please stop using “ally” as a way dismiss criticism? It’s getting lame and ineffectual at this point.
RyanMBecker
So you think that the comment, taken as stated, is a responsible one that doesn’t deserve criticism? Step in the shoes of a young fan, confused about her sexuality. Keep in mind that many tweens and teens don’t have the critical thinking that [most] adults have. And that their idea of news is what comes from social media or the mouths of celebrities. Or imagine the glee of the ex-gay movement.
So you think that comment should just go unscathed?
RyanMBecker
Yes, she was expressed her own experiences. But then she stupidly and arrogantly extrapolated it to everyone else: “YOU don’t have to be gay, there are good people with d*cks out there – YOU’ve just got to find them.”
In other words, she was giving a testimonial. How is her comment any different from an ad for the ex-gay movement?
djmcgamester
You invest all of your emotions into this person and get hurt when they say stupid things. Like EVERYONE says stupid things.
Donston
I don’t personally have emotions invested in Miley, but a lot of “young queers” do. They ignorantly look up to her. And she’s taken on the role of “queer icon” unabashedly. She should know better. Ultimately, Miley is still a rich white woman who has had mostly hetero relationships and is currently in a hetero relationship. She hardly has earned any right to be this flippant with “queerness”. And yes, she may have been “joking” and she may be more focused on irritating her ex than anything else, but I do believe she believes what she said. She comes off as a female who may have a decent amount of fluidity or sexual passions towards women and may find men frustrating, but she still has strong romantic, affection, emotional, relationship ties and comfort towards men. And that’s cool. But she’s speaking flippantly from a hetero perspective. She has not earned that. If she spoke on her internal struggles more earnestly instead of everything being a joke or a play for attention then it wouldn’t be so easy to criticize her. Furthermore, Miley has said and done a lot of stupid sh*t, only to later brush it off with claims of joking or talking about how she’s “grown”. It’s been tiresome.
JaredNorthcutt30
I mean, this is why I became an asexual trans woman. Why attack Miley Cyrus for living her truth?
Donston
I’m not even gonna get into your hypocrisy, homophobia, misandry and resentment of unabashed gay preferences and same-sex passions, relationships and love. I’ve broken that down thoroughly in previous posts. But even if taken at face value, Miley is speaking up for cis men and telling women they need to stick with them. So, no, it doesn’t quite follow your “all men with penises are horrible and no one should be with a man because I was raped and became an asexual trans woman” agenda. In fact, it’s almost the exact opposite.
JaredNorthcutt30
And yet, you persisted.
JaredNorthcutt30
I love how I’m so ingrained in your head that you feel a need to comment every time I post. You must have a boring life.
dwes09
Given the regressive, mean spirited and lame nature of most of your posts I suspect you “became an asexual trans woman” (if you are not still a heterosexual male troll) because you were not getting enough attention as a run-of-the-mill incel.
JaredNorthcutt30
Oh no, honey. That wasn’t a problem. I got raped multiple times. But thanks for being so invested in my sex life.
richard 14
Miley is not an ally, she’s an attention-seeker.
TheMarc
Nooo!!!!! A vapid celebrity, pop star without relevant credentials to effectively engage in an intellectual discussion regarding sexuality said something “bad” about sexuality?!!! Shocked!! Gobsmacked, even!!! Not really. The fault really isn’t on her for being an uninformed, out of touch personality; but the fact that some have GIVEN her so much “street cred” to speak in any kind of meaningful way about sexuality. The uproar surrounding this is represent of the unrelenting drive to have everyone belong to our alphabet soup; when in reality, even those who take “risks” to say they are; are in fact completely disingenuous and ignorant of the real, true nature of sexuality and are in fact only “honorary” members. They use it as a punchline, marketing gimmick, etc. I’ve certainly noticed this with a lot of “bisexuals” who still exclusively date/marry member of the opposite sex. Oh, don’t get me wrong. Bisexuality is VERY real; just not for “them.”
On a side note, but somewhat related, no more Aaron Carter stories, please. Aaron Carter stories belong in “Psychology Today.” Much like Miley Cyrus stories.
RyanMBecker
The first half of her comment was fine, if simplistic. No one can deny the validity of her personal experiences. There are studies on pseudo-homosexuality and her description fits that. But then she stupidly and arrogantly extrapolated it to everyone else: “YOU don’t have to be gay, there are good people with d*cks out there – YOU’ve just got to find them.”
That was nothing less than a testimonial. Her entire comment is no different than an ad for the ex-gay movement. It was ignorant and irresponsible, and deserving of all the criticism it’s getting.
nitejonboy
Oh Billy Ray, why couldn’t you have used a condom all those years ago and spared us the pain of this trash ?
dwes09
She is actually a very talented musician, as evidenced by the few traditional country/bluegrass recordings she has done. She just needs to grow up, and sadly that is not an easy thing for someone born into a certain level of celebrity, enlisted into show business at a very young age and denied a normal childhood.
Tons of examples of people just like her. Some transcend their past, some never do.
Topazme
OK…i dont find it so controversial once you realise she’s pansexual…thats different to being homosexual you guys…..on her part it was wrong to say you dont have to be gay,thats different wording…she probably meant for bisexual/pansexual people like her,after a hard hetero relationship you give up on guys/girls and go for other side but that’s not true because you can find good guys still…i mean i am bisexual and after a bad breakup i just gave up on girls,thought they were too much work and i used to date guys only for 5-6 years and i loved that but then i met my current girlfriend and i feel my most comfortable with her thus saying i dont have to love guys only to find love…..we bi/pan people should not shut out hetero relations
Donston
Well, I’m pan, and I simply want to be with a guy. I prefer the persistent affections, passions, comfort of someone of my sex. I would rather persistently please a guy, sleep next to a guy, love a guy. It has nothing to do with not liking women or fear of a relationship with a woman. My orientation and preferences and ambitions are fine. Just like what you said is fine. We all have our own journey, struggles and different spots on the romantic, sexual, emotional, affection, relationship spectrum. While there are plenty of men who stick with women because they fear a man breaking their heart and fear the relationship being too rough for them internally and externally and feel that being with a woman is just generally easier. There are many people with fluidity or bisexuality in their orientation that primarily date their same sex because that’s what they most love, that’s who they feel their most selves around, that’s the life that fulfills them the most. That’s the type of consistent romantic bond that fulfills them the most. Hell, a lot of guys go through what women go through, where they become resentful or even fearful of men but they still ultimately crave male affections and love and bonds and comfort. Everyone is motivated by different sh*t and have different struggles. What Miley said and how she worded it simply came off as anti homo preferences, ambitions, and relationships. And at the end of the day most people with dimensions and fluidity primarily have relationships with their opposite cis gender. No one needs to cape up for hetero normalcy. Like I already mentioned Miley has already said and done a ton of problematic sh*t yet is supposed to be a progressive and “queer” icon. She should know how to better communicate her sense of self and her perspective.
Donston
Furthermore, who you have relationships with should never be driven by sociology or fear of things being “complicated” or fear of your heart getting too involved or broken. I can love a woman. I have loved a woman. But a woman cannot truly break my heart. That’s because no matter how much attractions or affections I might have towards any female, that type of persistently intense and emotional and ego (and yes, sexual) craving and contentment is overall towards my same sex. The stakes are higher when getting seriously involved with someone of my sex.
No one should be comfortable being anyone’s consolation prize or being an alternative because something else is “too difficult”. That is honestly what Miley should have talked about. No self-respecting woman should be cool with a woman being with her just because she doesn’t want to deal with men. And ultimately, those types of people (particularly women) often end up settling down with the type of person that they have overall romantic, sexual, affection, emotional, relationship preferences and contentment towards anyways. So, you end up wasting a lot of folks’ time and breaking hearts just because you’re scared. It’s the same thing with guys who know that they have overall male preferences and only truly wants to be with a guy yet continues to primarily date women because it’s socially easier, they want to please their families, religion, internalized homophobia, they’re scared of a guy breaking their heart, etc.
Fear should not be a motivating factor in partnership.
iminheatlikeacat
“Well, I’m pan, and I simply want to be with a guy. I prefer the persistent affections, passions, comfort of someone of my sex. I would rather persistently please a guy, sleep next to a guy, love a guy. It has nothing to do with not liking women or fear of a relationship with a woman. My orientation and preferences and ambitions are fine”
You’re gay, dude.
Topazme
ALSO This article is incredibly crappy and purposefully misleading.
Miley was responding to a comment from a bi woman whose past relationships with men had been bad and so she felt like she could only be bi with women.
In response to that, Miley said,
“Don’t give up. You don’t have to be gay, there are good people with dicks out there, you just gotta find them. You just gotta find a dick that’s not a dick, you know what I mean?”
Meaning that bi women don’t have to restrict their expression of their bisexuality to only women. That if they want relationships with guys too, that there are guys out there that won’t treat them shitty.
Cam
It was a dumb comment, but I will say, I tend to give Cyrus somewhat of a pass because back when she had legions of teen fans and was a Disney poster child she told her fans that if they were homophobic, she didn’t want them as fans.
So she actually was willing to risk losing some money rather than all of those glass closet hypocrites.
So yeah, this was dumb, but I wouldn’t write her off.