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AIN'T THEY GRAND

Tom Daley’s Grandparents “Confused” At His Coming Out, But Vow To Support Him

tomdaleyCREDFacebookTom Daley‘s coming-out came as a surprise to many some, particularly to his dear old grandparents.

Turns out the 19-year-old Olympic diver only told Nana and Poppa a day before he made his big announcement via YouTube. Though Mr. and Mrs. Daley were admittedly “confused” — claiming the news came “out of the blue” — they won’t be disowning their grandson anytime soon.

“We only found out at 5pm on Sunday when he came to see us,” Mrs. Rosemary Daley, 65, told the Daily Mail. “We are confused because he’s always had girlfriends. We asked him if he was absolutely sure. He’s our first grandson from our son who died.”

Tom’s father, Robert, died from brain cancer at age 40 in 2011.

“We have always been supportive of him and we always will,” Grandma Daley said of Tom. “We’re not old-fashioned, in fact we’re quite liberal. But I do think he’s too young to be making this sort of decision. But we hugged him, we thanked him for coming to see us, and we’ll be seeing him over Christmas. We’ll always be here for Tom.”

All due respect, Nana Ro, but when it comes to coming out, age ain’t nothin’ but a number and everyone is ready in their own time. Meanwhile, grandparents really seem to be getting on board with the whole LGBT thing this year: storming out of homophobic sermons, sassing anti-gay priests, recording videos and songs in support of their grandkids.

Not to be left out of the Tom-loving, Mr. Daley, 66, echoed his wife’s sentiments: “We’ve always been loyal supporters of Tom and there’s no reason that that will change.”

As for Tom’s mom, he Instagramed this photo of the two of them a day before publicly coming out with the caption: “So lucky to have such a supportive mum! I love you!”

Guess she’s pretty on board, too.

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Dec 3, 2013
Tagged: , ,
  • 40 Comments
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      too young at 19?
      /sigh

      how little people understand.

      I knew I was gay at least from the age of 6 or 7. I didn’t know what it was called, but I knew what it was I felt.

      I came out at 16 to my family. I wish I’d had the chance to come out earlier and have a relationship and live that experience of discovery, like most of the straight guys in my highschool had been doing for years already.

      By 16, most kids have already “dated” someone. So why should gay kids have to wait longer than age 19 to date someone steadily?

      And there’s no “they’re from a different generation” for Daley’s grandparents. My own parents are older than his grandparents and they had no issues with my coming out way back when.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 10:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdgarCarpenter
      EdgarCarpenter

      Excuse me? I’m the same generation as his grandparents, and when I was 19 I was picketing the local Catholic church with my buddies to protest their gay-bashing, and was part of a group who successfully sued the State University system in California to force them to allow gay clubs on campus.

      My straight friends at the time were very supportive; I rarely encountered anti-gay attitudes in my age group. Which is these grandparents’ age group.

      This article was written by a young person who thinks his generation invented good sex, progressive attitudes about gender, and probably fashion and pectoral muscles, too. Get over it, lots of people got there decades before you did.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 10:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AnitaMann
      AnitaMann

      While 19 is still a child in many respects, it’s certainly old enough to know if you like guys, girls, or both.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KyleD
      KyleD

      I’m bisexual too. Good for him.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • krystalkleer
      krystalkleer

      yea i grew up on a farm with 8 siblings…watched Sonny and Cher…M*A*S*H…and All in the Family…listened to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers…but i also ripped out ads of Jim Palmer in the back of JC Penny’s catalogs in his jockey briefs…ummm i was 5…you know regardless of yer age…period!!
      http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/12/as-eyelash-curls.html

      Dec 3, 2013 at 12:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ferryboi
      Ferryboi

      When are grandparents NOT confused about anything nowadays? I’m sure their generation thinks gay men are limping, lisping, nelly queens who run around in wigs all day, something Tom clearly does not do, so how can he be gay/bi?

      Dec 3, 2013 at 12:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdgarCarpenter
      EdgarCarpenter

      Perhaps you have generally confused grandparents, @Ferryboi, but be careful about generalizing from them. Take a closer look at other people their age and you’ll find that lots of them are perfectly comfortable in the modern world, and some of them are a lot more politically and socially radical than most young’uns like you.

      Assuming that all people of that generation believe weird gay stereotypes just shows that you haven’t been paying attention to anyone but people in your own general age group. And that you believe lots of weird older-people stereotypes!

      Dec 3, 2013 at 1:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ferryboi
      Ferryboi

      @EdgarCarpenter: Maybe so Edgar, but I’m not nearly as young as you think. I could be Tom’s father very easily, and if I fooled around with girls in my teens, I could be his grandfather. Perish the thought…

      Dec 3, 2013 at 1:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bozen
      Bozen

      They must be the only people in the Western world “confused” about him being gay.

      Gay. Not Bisexual. We all know how it works, people.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 1:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bozen
      Bozen

      What happened to my photo? :(

      Dec 3, 2013 at 1:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 4of14
      4of14

      First, let me say. Yeah, Tom!

      Second:”By 16, most kids have already “dated” someone. So why should gay kids have to wait longer than age 19 to date someone steadily?”

      Full story here: http://www.queerty.com/tom-daleys-grandparents-confused-at-his-coming-out-but-vow-to-support-him-20131203/#ixzz2mRLCna6P
      I agree with MikeE. Why should we except that, gay kids should have somekind of stunted growth. I’m 63 and if I want to change my mind about my sexual interests, it’s my business and the person, or persons I’m dealing with. My point, most straight people don’t have to make up their minds about sex and love Issues. Extend that same courtesy to gays.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdgarCarpenter
      EdgarCarpenter

      @Ferryboi: That makes sense – your grandparents were a different generation than Daley’s, and yes, much more likely to have odd stereotypes, like mine did. But Daley’s grandparents are in the first generation that had lots of out gay people around when they were young adults, and that had beneficial effects on many of them, which is clear from their reactions.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 2:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daniel-Reader
      Daniel-Reader

      Too young at 19 when his dad died at age 40? That is absurd. If the predisposition to brain cancer is an inherited condition, he is already at half his lifespan. He should live as much of his life being authentic to himself as possible. And that goes for everyone on the planet – gay, bi, and straight – be true to yourself. You only get so many trips around the sun on this rock.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 2:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fagburn
      fagburn

      Umm, this is from the Daily Mail, Britain’s own National Enquirer…

      Dec 3, 2013 at 3:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @Bozen: It’s funny how gays are such self-loathing hypocrites that they love it when a guy like Josh Hutcherson admits he is “mostly straight” and accepts that at face value — which makes sense since we’ve known since Kinsey first started researching it that bisexuality exists on a scale, not at a 50/50 split.

      However, when a guy like Tom Daley reveals that he is essentially “mostly gay” then he is heaped with derision, disbelief, and scorn from gay biphobes.

      The selective bigotry in the gay community never ceases to amaze. Gay dudes love to scream “No H8″ but it’s increasingly clear that for many it only applies to 100% gay white dudes.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 3:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bozen
      Bozen

      @BrandoPolo: Do all those sweeping generalizations and big words keep you warm at night?

      Dec 3, 2013 at 3:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @Bozen: Why am I not at all shocked that a hypocrite who generalizes bisexuals as gays in denial before whining about generalization also can’t comprehend a vocab level higher than first grade?

      Dec 3, 2013 at 3:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @fagburn: Oooh that buuurned! Not.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 4:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @BrandoPolo: #%^* you, I am always defending my bisexual brothers and my fiancé is bisexual, Don’t #%^*ing lump all gay men together as bi-phobes you ***hole!

      Dec 3, 2013 at 4:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jimbryant
      jimbryant

      I can see Tom Daley going back to a woman in about 5 years and having a long marriage with lots of kids and grand-children. That’s what most men do if they want to have children and the stability of a nuclear family.

      It must grate on many of you that a man can go back to a woman after being with a man. It kind of disproves the gay propaganda.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 4:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mz.sam
      mz.sam

      Haters backlash, I understand. But don’t know why all the confusion, disbelief or needless controversy out there about Tom’s personal admission of love. Plain and simple, he’s cute, 19 yrs old, he spoke from his heart, his dick responded, and continues to train for the Rio Olympics. Period.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 4:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • damon459
      damon459

      Not to young at all, I came out to my entire family including my 90 year old great grandmother when I was just 12 years old. Of course my great grandmother was a hoot about it she said ” What do you think you’re the first one to come out in this family?” Then she busted out laughing and said honey this family tree is full of diversity and don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • davincibarnette
      davincibarnette

      It’s a cute, sweet, yet unnecessary story. Of course, they are confused, weather he had girlfriends or not, they would be “confused”. He came out. It’s just as much a process, now for them, as it was/is for him. Eventually, all involved will accept he’s gay as well, it’s always “a little” easier to go with “bi”, it leaves the Family with that “buffer” of “hope”.
      It will all be okay.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 5:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @DarkZephyr: Lay off the coffee, dude.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 5:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Teleny
      Teleny

      @davincibarnette: yes-they were confused because he had been dating girls. I sometimes think we lbgt forget that to many, if not most str8 people our community and culture is somewhat of a mystery. Especially to older folks. .. These folks don’t quite understand, but they are accepting and that’s what’s important. They’ll gain enlightenment along the journey with their grandson.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 5:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pauleky
      pauleky

      @jimbryant: I hate feeding trolls, so all I’ll say is it’s not us that has been brainwashed. You wanna be a self-loather? Go for it! Leave the rest of us out of it.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @jimbryant: what “gay propaganda” does bisexuals being bisexuals disprove? Please explain.

      @BrandoPolo: Lay off the gay hating dude.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 7:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @DarkZephyr: Hating gays and calling out the bigotry of some gay guys is not the same thing. I’m not surprised that a hyperventilating diva like you can’t tell the difference — says more about you than anything else. Obviously, my critique hit close to home, hmmm…

      Methinks the crybaby doth protest too much?

      Dec 3, 2013 at 9:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bozen
      Bozen

      “He’s probably gay because most gay guys start out bi”

      “YOU SELF LOATHING BIGOT, HOW DARE YOU DERIDE HIM!”

      Dec 3, 2013 at 10:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @Bozen: So melodramtic, haha. No one is slinging cuss words, freaking out, hyperventilating, and screaming in all caps but you, boo.

      And “most gays” actually don’t start out bi. I’m sure being challenged on that lie will cause you to set your hair on fire and run around the room wetting your panties and shouting profanities. Parents never learnt ya how ta deal with opposing views, huh kid?

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      “It’s unfair of gay dudes to accept bisexuality in mostly straight guys but not in mostly gay guys.”

      “F%&$#K YOU ***HOLE FOR MURDERING MY FRIENDS BY DISAGREEING WITH ME!!!!!111!!! YOU HATE GAY AMERICA YOU f&%4#!”

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kieran
      Kieran

      You really think straight people make a distinction between gay and bisexual? If you like sex with another man, straight people are going to see you as GAY, regardless of whether you also “fancy” women.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @Kieran: Who here is talking about straight people’s opinion of bisexuals? I haven’t gotten the impression that anybody here gives a rat’s behind what straight people see and don’t see, but maybe I’m missing something…

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • iMort
      iMort

      I am still confused as to how adorable Tom Daley is! Have a wonderful gay (or bisexual) life!

      Dec 4, 2013 at 10:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • YesIDid
      YesIDid

      @KyleD: I hope that one day people just refer to themselves as “sexual,” meaning if you want to date a guy for a month and then a couple weeks later you date a woman, so be it!

      Dec 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mlbumiller
      mlbumiller

      Maybe their confusion is that their grand-son is dating a man old enough to be their son?

      Dec 4, 2013 at 5:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @BrandoPolo: You didn’t merely “point out bigotry” you generalized ALL gay men this way. As biphobic bigots. You can try to call attention away from that fact by mocking me with mellow dramatic theatrics but it doesn’t change the fact. If it “hit close to home” for me it would only be in the fact that my fiancé is bisexual and I fully respect that fact and I fully respect my bisexual brothers and sisters and am 100% innocent of the bigotry that you ascribe to gay men in general. I usually defend bisexuals against biphobia because it always irritates me when someone from one marginalized sexual minority turns around and marginalizes another. We as gays and lesbians should know better and we should be embracing our bisexual and transgendered brothers and sisters with open arms. We are one community. And that parody you did of me with the whole “murdering my friends by disagreeing with me” gag was amusing but inaccurate. I never accused you of “disagreeing with me”. We happen to be on the same page about bisexuality. There is no disagreement there. Which is exactly why I was so heated about your blanket statement about gay men being always against bisexuals. The only times I have ever been “against” a bisexual has been in the bedroom. Period.

      Dec 4, 2013 at 7:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      @DarkZephyr: Nope, I didn’t used the words “all” or “always”. I never said all gays are always biphobes — that’s just a lie that you made up, and typing ALL in all-caps is not going to make it true. Don’t put words in my mouth and project your defensive hangups onto me.

      The only one who is being melodramatic is you: you entered the conversation cussing and screaming like a crazed banshee based on a false premise. Maybe next time if you read what I actually write instead of inserting words that aren’t there, you might not make yourself seem like an out-of-control nut.

      Dec 5, 2013 at 3:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @BrandoPolo: Queerty won’t allow me to post my reply for whatever reason, so all I can do is invite you to go back and read your own words carefully. Have a nice week.

      Dec 5, 2013 at 9:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrandoPolo
      BrandoPolo

      Read it. And, nope, I didn’t use “all” or “always”. The only degree indicator I gave was “but for many” and many is clearly not “all” — it’s not even “most”. *shrug*

      Dec 6, 2013 at 6:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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