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  MONSTER MASH

Tony Perkins Wants To Eat The Big Gay Empire State Building

Immediately after New York passed marriage equality, the Empire State Building lit up in bright rainbow colors. The multicolored tower immediately burned the eyes of Family Research Council president Tony Perkins waking him from his dark sleep and compelling him to attack the metaphoric building with his monstrous bile. Make no mistake, Fay Wray—Perkins is like the King Kong of hate.

Here’s what Mr. Kong had to say about the fabulous building in his cleverly-titled post “A New York State of Blind”:

There was no mistaking the message Friday night when the highest point in the city lit up like a towering rainbow, its colors blazing across the New York skyline. Like a warning flare, the reds and blues and greens exploded over the city, announcing the arrival of same-sex “marriage” to the world. Overnight, New York had become a beacon in the fight for family–a symbol of people who had lost their way.

When the law goes into effect next month, New York will be the sixth and largest state to shatter the definition of marriage in America. To understand the devastation of that defeat, consider this. Within hours, the number of people living in jurisdictions with same-sex “marriage” doubled. With one vote, New York forced more Americans to bow to its twisted definition of marriage than the combined population of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Iowa, and the District of Columbia. And none of it would have been possible without the political cowardice of New York Republicans…

Despite all of the disappointment, God is on the move. Regardless of how things appear, never doubt that He is at work behind the scenes. Rainbow colors may cut through the New York night, but shadows are where you and I are called to shine. The world takes advantage of the darkness, but only the church can set it ablaze.

Oh wait… did he just say that he wanted to burn down the Empire State Building? That’s what we heard. That building is like an emblem of America. It’s like an old-timey Twin Towers. Perkins doesn’t… hate America… does he?

RAWR!!! PERKINS SMASH!!! RAWR!!!

By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           Jun 28, 2011
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 22 Comments
    • iDavid
      iDavid

      I don’t know that Tony wants to eat the Empire State Bldg as much as he might like to sit on it.
      Some loud mouth phobes = the bigger the better.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Iceblue866
      Iceblue866

      2 words….douche nozzle

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the crustybastard
      the crustybastard

      The religion of love.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      The vile, hateful, bigoted face of Christianity on display for all to see.

      Keep flapping your piehole, Mr. Perkins. Everytime morons like you talk, sane, rational people reject organized religion a little bit more.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kev C
      Kev C

      It sounds like he’s is writing schizophrenic drug poetry. Mr. Tambourine Man!

      Jun 28, 2011 at 12:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GreatGatsby2011
      GreatGatsby2011

      “Look, ma! Bigots can use puns, too!” Now that that’s out of the way, what’s with the quotation marks around marriage? I think I’ll just start “randomly” throwing up “air quotes” whenever I “feel” like it to make myself appear more “pompous” and “ignorant”.
      But I’m fine with letting this guy spout off his God speech because every time a fundamentalist uses their God to try and deny us our rights their legal argument gets weaker as you CAN’T force your religion on others in this country, it’s not allowed. So go ahead fundies, trust in your “righteous” and “hateful” diety and throw away all other secular arguments. Your “God” will set things right wont it?

      Jun 28, 2011 at 12:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      WOW. He really has lost it! As if he weren’t crazy enough. Quick, someone put him, Maggie, and Brian in the same nut ward before they get together and burn down an historical US monument. That’s the threat I heard in that little diatribe, too.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 12:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      Tony Perkins has a smelly crusty asshole.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luke
      Luke

      A beacon for people who have lost their way? His inverted metaphors don’t seem to ave the effect he desired.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • taytayisgay69
      taytayisgay69

      First
      there is no god
      second
      tony perkins is a closet self hating gay
      third
      penissssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @christopher di spirito: Which is quite a shame considering rational Christians rejected this moron already. Don’t equate this dude with Christianity. That is what he wants you to do.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jacob Woods
      Jacob Woods

      Tony Perkins is such a whore mongerel!

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jay Kay
      Jay Kay

      Someone call DHS… we’ve got a live one…

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jesaves
      jesaves

      God must be looking down and thinking “what type of crack is he smoking”

      Jun 28, 2011 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Laughriotgirl
      Laughriotgirl

      @Luke: No one ever accused them of knowing what they are talking about.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 6:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • STC
      STC

      I can’t believe that that fucking Henry VIII shattered the definition of marriage by divorcing Catherine of Aragon. Society truly ground to a halt when marriage was changed from being a binding lifetime contract to an declarartion of temporary affection likely to end in divorce. Oh wait… shit still got done afterwards. Like America.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 8:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Syl
      Syl

      God on the move? When has he ever moved his ass off the cloud and saved anyone? Omnipotent + omniscient + all loving + billions suffering + sends people to suffer for eternity does not compute!

      Jun 28, 2011 at 9:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TomMc
      TomMc

      @Daez: Why would Perkins want anyone to do that?

      Jun 28, 2011 at 9:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BenFrankly
      BenFrankly

      Everyone in the know, knows that Tony Perkins is a big fag. Trust me on this – the man is as queer as it gets. Anyone who has ever lived in DC knows of his interests.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ganondorf
      Ganondorf

      @BenFrankly:

      Scat?

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      Tony, Tony, Tony: that man thinks about man on man action more than I do. That’s saying a lot!

      NOM & FRC haven’t succeeded in getting marriage equality erased in Massachusetts (or however that’s spelled) since *8* years ago and they can’t do anything about NY now.

      Waah waah waa.

      Jun 29, 2011 at 3:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim Hlavac
      Jim Hlavac

      Ah, the “family research council” — a failure since 1983. Not only can’t they find any of us gay guys in families, they can’t find us attacking any families, or attacking any churches (self defense is not attack, btw) — but I think his biggest fear is this: when the nation finally gets complete nationwide gay marriage he’ll have no job. He’s got no skills except gay-hating. He is a complete and utter failure and he knows it and it must bug his butt. hahahaha!

      Jun 29, 2011 at 4:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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