Did you know that self-described tops and bottoms don’t just conform to that specific job description? Tops aren’t just about sticking it in a butt, and bottoms aren’t just about taking it in the rear. For instance, tops are also more likely to be the dominant partner in (consensual) verbal abuse during sex, and even piss on their partners.
Because being a top is more than just being the one who finds a hole to stick it in. It’s about behavior as much as action. For Scientific American, Jesse Bering goes through recent studies about men who have sex with other men, and finds plenty of generalizations for us to argue with!
Compared to bottoms, tops are more frequently engaged in (or at least they acknowledge being attracted to) other insertive sexual behaviors. For example, tops also tend to be the more frequent insertive partner during oral intercourse. In fact, this finding of the generalizability of top/bottom self-labels to other types of sexual practices was also uncovered in a correlational study by David Moskowitz, Gerulf Reiger and Michael Roloff. In a 2008 issue of Sexual and Relationship Therapy, these scientists reported that tops were more likely to be the insertive partner in everything from sex-toy play to verbal abuse to urination play.
Oh, and tops hate themselves more!
Tops were more likely than both bottoms and versatiles to reject a gay self-identity and to have had sex with a woman in the past three months. They also manifested higher internalized homophobia—essentially the degree of self-loathing linked to their homosexual desires.
But what about that grey area we haven’t mentioned yet? You know, the versatile guys? Good news!
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Versatiles seem to enjoy better psychological health. Hart and his coauthors speculate that this may be due to their greater sexual sensation seeking, lower erotophobia (fear of sex), and greater comfort with a variety of roles and activities.
And how about guys who refuse any anal play at all? Sorry, we’ve got nothing for you, but we hope you’re satisfied with that.
WTF?
It would be helpful to learn more about their sampling methods, which might reveal a bias in data gathering.
scott ny'er
that picture is so HOT!!!
M Shane
I believe that there is definitely something to almost being preselected as a top or bottom because of your personality.
When I thought about having sex , I practiced being a bottom with vegies etc. , but low and behold I could rarely find anyone who would top me. I think that more physicaly controling, aggressive personalities get picked and assume the role as tops. It goes even for s/m bondage, fisting etc. to. Not always but most of the time. It’s also been true about women for me, although that’s not a preferance.
Whileit’s great to be a bottom you don’t often get to. Some tops may be homophobic, I don’t know very many., I’m certainly not that I know; in fact I’m more up front gay than most people.
HiredGoons
well duh.
Nick
Ditto Scott. I’m not sure why I’m so into it. I watch plenty of porn so I’m surprised a simple photo like this would have such an effect on me. Anyone know where (as in what porn, probably) it’s from?
Adam
@scott ny’er: You may be interested in knowing that the bottom is RJ Danvers and the top is Piston Pete. They were in a scene together in Raging Stallion’s “Menace” part 1.
stevenelliot
that top looks like steve cruz, but maybe not
MackMichael
Sorry, but I’d like to know more about the Sample Population as well. While I tried valiantly the bottom role, it just doesn’t work for me. I find it exceedingly painful, and it isn’t arousing for me in the least–even the idea of it falls really flat for me. Perhaps a total top wouldn’t have tried things on the other end, but I did, and I’ve been a total top for years now. So, this comes from a pretty darned committed top: I love, love, love oral sex, and I’m talking giving and getting. The fact that I like to get it should not diminish the real fact that I love giving oral sex to my partner–I love it. I also love being a gay man, and if it was a choice, I’d still choose to be a gay man. I’m completely open to absolutely everyone, from my family, to my clients, to the pastor at my church–which is completely affirming to homosexuals.
I also have a far less severe temper than my partner (than any of my bottom partners), AND I almost never get to win an argument. I am more aggressive in business and sports, I suppose, but I am also FAR more romantic than most bottoms I’ve dated, including my partner of 10 years. I am more likely to cry at a movie, wherein the dog dies. Yet, I am a voracious top.
Go figure….I rather doubt the findings of this study.
Muaddib777
The top is Damien Crosse, he bottoms a lot too. RJ Danvers is super hot and a sweet guy. He mostly bottoms from what I have seen.
schlukitz
Hmm…haven’t heard the term “sleaze” or “sleazy” used on this thread yet.
But then, the night is young! :>0
MackMichael
Both a top and a bottom can be a sleaze or be sleazy! (I just didn’t want you to feel deprived, Schlukitz).
schlukitz
LOL@MackMichael.
Absolutely. And i can say that with experience…from both sides of the fence. LOL
Actually, my comment was a facetious one aimed at someone else on these threads who has been tossing that word around on another thread quite a bit lately.
He knows who he is and I am surprised that it has missed his attention. ;>)
Hmmm
Where can one find more info on studies like this one, or good books to read about stuff like this. This article absolutely fascinated me. Even though it probably is a little biased, but what study isn’t. I would love a book/magazine/ website list. Thanks!!!!!
scott ny'er
@Adam: Yeah. I thought that was RJ. Who I kind of know in the internet way. He looks way hot there.
Oh, on the subject at hand, I need to experience more fun to really comment. But, with all things I’m sure there’s more ebb and flow and versatility than this study actually reveals.
Charles Merrill
Unsafe sex is always sleazy. That’s the problem I have with sex in the Eagle bar in Atlanta. I celebrate sex between guys, but keep it safe.
schlukitz
@MackMichael:
Ah! I did not go unrewarded or disappointed. LOL
schlukitz
Mr. Merrill has obviously decided to ignore the fact that there were no arrests at the Atlanta Eagle for “unsafe sex”. In fact, there was no sex going on at all when the police crashed through the doors. Obviously, he needs to re-read the original post by Queerty on the raid of the Eagle Bar in Atlanta.
Not to be deterred by the facts, however, Mr. Merrill just posted, on another thread, that leather bars should be called “unsafe sex clubs”. He has, however, not a shred of proof to support his denigrating comments about the leather community or the Eagle Bar in Atlanta.
And given his statement That’s the problem I have with sex in the Eagle bar in Atlanta., it’s obvious that he has a hard-on for the leather community and leather bars, the Eagle Bar in Atlanta, in particular.
I guess we should all be thankful, however, that as a self-admitted bisexual, Mr. Merrill does look favorably on sex between guys. He just doesn’t approve of leather or rubber fetish, which he has made very clear in his numerous posts on the original thread.
Smells like bullshit to me.
Charles Merrill
@schlukitz: This thread has gotten off topic of tops and bottoms, and I apologize. I have to defend myself against number 16. All fetishes are fine with me if it enhances exciting sex, just don’t let bar owners try to get under the LGBT civil rights umbrella and demand equality for their bad management. Two APD undercover officers said sex was going on in the backroom of the Eagle and one was groped at the bar.
I believe them. Someone snitched, and number 16 went ballistics.
Again I apologize that this is off topic.
schlukitz
@Charles Merrill:
Two APD undercover officers said sex was going on in the backroom of the Eagle and one was groped at the bar.
I believe them.
Of course you would! Just like any good religious fanatic would believe the DoJ stating that homosexual relationships are akin to incest and bestiality rather than take the word of a queer.
And, despite your meaningless apology about getting off-topic, you continue to insist that sex was going on in the backroom of the Eagle, without proof, despite the fact that you were not actually there and in spite of the lack of any articles on Google that back-up your assertion.
Judge, Jury and Executioner, all rolled up into one, are ya? I was under the impression that we had a judicial system that holds that one is not guilty until proven to be so in a court of law.
It seems to me that you are more in favor with an old west lynching mentality instead of a system of laws that should be observing and upholding the civil-rights of citizens.
And tarring and feathering and being run out of town on a rail, without proof of the crime committed, went out with the Colonists.
http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2009/09/11/police-raid-gay-leather-bar-atlanta-eagle/
This excerpt from the above URL was made by the APD on September 11, 2009.
In an effort to ensure compliance with the law, the Police Department investigated the complaints and during the investigation police observed criminal behavior taking place at the Club on September 10, 2009. While the Police were conducting a compliance check it lead to the arrests of eight employees. The Department views all complaints of criminal conduct as serious and will utilize resources to investigate and deter criminal activity in order to create a safe environment.
Note that this non-explicit blah, blah, blah, statement uses the term “criminal behavior”, which is non-specific. The APD Statement does not make make any specific allegation that sex was going on in the back room.
The only patrons arrested, were five of those who were dancing in their underwear, as is common on “Underwear Night” and which in of itself is totally harmless to anyone. The three arrests were for permit violations. Hardly the stuff of an impending terrorist attack or take-over of our government.
I see absolutely no difference in dancing in one’s underwear in a leather bar as opposed to patrons at the Ice Palace on Fire Island wearing swimwear during Sunday Tea Dance. In both instances, both a patron’s ass and his genitals are covered, ergo the claim of “indecent exposure” would never stand up in a court of law.
So where is the “criminal conduct” of dancing in one’s underwear and how is the environment made safer by prohibiting it?
If you are going to pursue this senseless avenue to substantiate you claim that leather bars should be called “unsafe sex clubs”, then to be fair, you should carry your crusade to the straight “topless” bars and the places that allow “lap-dancing” as well.
me
this didn’t tell me anything i didn’t already know.
M Shane
No. 8 · MackMichael : you definitely seem to be an exception to the rule as I understand and have read about it. Rolfes, who’s written quitea bit about sex says that tops tend to be physically controling and bottoms more nurturant and care taking. I know that probably because of my carriage and confidence, people who are bottoms just pick me out right away, rarely the other way around. I have absolutely no hang ups or physical limitations to being a bottom, but few people have ever wanted to. Some things where I lose control I don’t like e.g. bondage. I would never let anyone tie me up.
It almost sounds like you and your partner are psychologically turned around. I don’t presume to know anyomne elses body , but People usually experience pain etc. because they are not relaxing, and get over that using smaller objects etc. I know that If I could find more people I was attrarted to who would top I would enjoy that.
Joseph
The Top and Bottom game is just a reproduction of Heterosexual Gender Roles. Tops are under the illusion that they are more manly, and bottoms often like to perform a warped, submissive femininity.
The Top and Bottom game is so tired and so Heterosexual. I wish Queers would grow up, Evolve!
Versatile is the best way to play, and the best way to avoid Primitive Heterosexual Role-Playing. People can often be more aggressive or dominant when Catching than when Pitching.
There are no essentially “Passive” or “Active” roles in Sex, nor essentially submissive or dominant roles. To divide sex play into such roles is a bi-polar mimickry of patriarchal male domination over Femininity, and the reduction of the Feminine into the “bottom” social position during much of our Human past. In Nature, the Feminine is far from the “bottom”, perhaps why nature is called “Mother”.
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
It has a point…even if it’s more cognitive…
M Shane
No. 22 · Joseph: If you’ve ever had much sex with a woman or are familiar with what people do you would realise that ‘missionary sex” positioning is often the exception rather than the rule. I can speak from sufficient experience with each to tell you that With heterosexual sex, women often like being on top to nbe free so that they can move in such a way as to maximally stimulate their clitorus and especially hit their G-spot which is deeper inside.
I think that if you rely on earlier prechristian models, rear entry would have been the stance of male domination as with other animals.
In all other regards, I can agree with a non assimilationist proposition for gay liberation.
Michael vdB
Yea for the Vers!
(Starts singing…~Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t).
Ian
@Muaddib777: That’s not right, his real life husband is versatile but Damien Crosse is strictly a top, I’ve never heard of him bottoming in a movie ever.
Phoenix (Howdy Partners, Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Happy To See Me?)
Eh, I used be strictly a top and it wasn’t because of self-loathing. It was because I’m the youngest/smallest of a large family. I was always at the bottom of the sibling dog pile. At school I was always the smallest kid and from middle school onward got pushed around by bullies. It made me very aggressive and dom. From my teenage years up through my early twenties I enjoyed tying guys up, smacking them around, and then fucking the shit out of them (consensually of course). Then when I was 25-26 I lost the chip on my shoulder. I consider myself versatile and don’t want to be strictly on top or bottom.
Jimmy
@MackMichael: I think I just fell in love : )
Hmmm
@Hmmm: Don’t steal my commenting name!!! Haha.. just kidding (sort of).
Erick
@Ian: You should check out the stuff from his own studio, that ship has sailed my friend.