Black Friday is upon us again, and we don’t want anything to do with it.
But that doesn’t mean there’s not a weird, sick entertainment value in watching our already consumer-obsessed culture dial the crazy up to eleven and turn into rabid animals at the prospect of saving money on shit we don’t need.
Just to show how far we’ve taken this “holiday” in a fairly short amount of time, here’s a side-by-side comparison of Black Friday in 1983 vs today. While we’re not sure we agree with the video’s ultimate conclusion that society as we know it is about to crumble for good, it’s still got us shaking our heads:
And here’s a comedic approach to this nightmare of a shopping day that only further reinforces our decision to eat leftover stuffing all day and watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race reruns. And hey, isn’t that Jimmy Fowlie?
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Paul Nadolski
*FINALLY* someone agrees with me! 🙂
But seriously…the only reason I’m going shopping today is because my baby niece needs some diapers.
Paco
Black Friday shoppers look like a bunch of pigs at the trough during feeding time.
dvlaries
Yes, because nothing demonstrates your conviction that ‘Jesus is the reason for the season’ like taking your voluntary subservience to consumerism to a pathology.
Stache99
The second one was funny but that’s not the type of people rushing into these events. They looked well to do and not your typical Wallmart shopper.
Milk
It’s the most wonderful time for the greeds.
With the kids bellyaching for apple devices of late…
It’s the most gluttonous time of the yeeearrrrrrr
Black Pegasus
Let the fools spend their money! Isn’t that what our economy is based upon? Capitolism depends on the greedy in order to stay alive.
My 401k thanks all of those fools. lol
Oh, Happy Holidays!
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Those ignorant morons who waste time spending hours on line, or worse yet participate in a stampede of low lives don’t have the common sense to realize if you bring any ad to the manager even a week after Black Friday they will give you the exact same price………..
RIGay
Zombies are real.
On Friday afternoon, around 2PM my husband said to me, “I need to run errands” so we got in the car and went. He decided he needed to shop at Walmart, and not just any Walmart, but the one connected to a local mall in Swansea MA. My stomach instantly curled at the thought of being subjected to the onslaught of horrific low-life, humanity, slugging it out for nonsensical crap.
We got over to the mall and Walmart… and it was EMPTY. The parking lot had all of 100 cars in it. The store was empty, the shelves were stocked, a couple families mulling down various aisles. I walked past the same video games (stocked) with DEEP DISCOUNTS of $5 off that were the same video games sitting there at 1AM. I walked all around the store, unabated.
So I asked the checkout attendant “…where was everyone?” She said that from 1AM (when the store opened) until around dawn, the place was crammed. Screaming, fighting, terror. It cleared out so much that they had to lower the Muzak.
So it dawned on me; as we have all read, there are not real “Black Friday” bargains. If you are RESTED and AWARE, you see it’s the same stuff you see all the time at the same price. “Black Friday” are corporate entities tapping into that final resource to boost 4th quarter numbers; zombies. Otherwise normal people who, when sleep deprived, will zero in on anything painted RED and with the word SALE on it, even when there is none and the content is garbage.
“Mmmmmm…. Red Sale Sign… must buy… must buy…” And then Aunt Polly ends up with the “Duck Dynasty Sock Collection” for Christmas because someone needed to shop like a zombie.
The point: People are idiots.
Bob LaBlah
I got a damn good deal on a HP wireless printer all-in-one for $49.99 at OfficeMax on Thanksgiving Day at 7pm. I am in the midwest but the store was empty. The Target store parking lot was full but I was in and out in less than twenty minutes. Three people average in the checkout line.
On the way home I began to make the connection between cheaper gas ($2.35 a gallon in the midwest) and the near empty stores on both Thanksgiving and Black Friday. The crowds simply were not there. People are NOT spending money obviously. For YEARS I always felt it was the oil companies turn in the summer to pump consumers for the dollar only to be handed over to retail starting around late October.