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  SEX CRIME

Typhoid Mary Of HIV Admits To Trying To Infect Thousands Of Partners

In what’s probably the most horrible thing we’ve heard in months, a HIV+ man in Michigan turned himself in to authorities last week and confessed to sleeping with 3,000 men and women and, according to police reports, “intentionally attempt[ing] to spread the disease to kill people.”

As it stands, David Dean Smith, 51, has only been arraigned on two counts of penetrating a partner who did not know he was positive.  One female victim, who met Smith on Yahoo! Personals, told MSNBC he was a “sociopath” and a predator. ‘He hits [on] drifters. He hits people who are young. He hits young women, and from what I understand, he hits men, too,” she added.

It’s unclear whether Smith’s lawyers will attempt an insanity defense: Sexual penetration with HIV is considered a felony in Michigan but Smith had recently been remanded to a mental hospital Smith after several suicide attempts. (Files from the hospital indicate he is “sexually aroused by causing pain to females.”)

Attorney Richard Zambon told the network that he plans on “exploring all options” in his client’s defense. “I am concerned about his mental health.”

We can only hope that Smith is as delusional as he is fugly and has inflated the number of his conquests.

On another note, clearly this man needs to be removed from society—but are “HIV+ penetration” laws the greater danger? Share your thoughts in the comments.

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Jan 2, 2012
Tagged: , , ,

  • 176 Comments
    • Edward
      Edward

      It is sad how society has evolved into a people wanting to hurt others

      Jan 2, 2012 at 6:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      Next time y’all whine about how unfair it is to criminalize knowingly spreading HIV, just think of this monster and how he needs to be permanently removed from society as a public health risk.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 6:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeff4justice
      jeff4justice

      A lot of LGBTs are already indifferent to the profiteers of glorifying BB sex so…

      Who needs anti-LGBT folk when we do so much self-inflicting damage?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 7:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      I just hate the headline. Typhoid Mary didn’t *intentionally* spread disease.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 7:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Didaskalos
      Didaskalos

      When William F. Buckley recommended TATOOING HIV+ STATUS ON PEOPLE’S ASSES, he was thinking of guys like this. He was being satirical, of course. I think this guy really deserves it.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • noneya
      noneya

      inappropriate analogy in the title. Typhoid Mary did not believe she was sick since she was asymptomatic. This guy knew full well he was. Biological Terrorist might be a better analogy…

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville

      @Riker: No one has been seriously critical about laws criminalizing the intentional infection of HIV — you intentionally misrepresent legitimate debate about such laws have a consequence of leading people away from getting tested. That is a fair and important debate; that was the question posed by the post.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski

      There was another article about being HIV a few weeks back and I stated that this was happening. This is not the only case. This man just happened to be caught. NOW do you folks believe me it is happening?…SB

      http://www.queerty.com/first-person-there%e2%80%99s-no-point-in-giving-hiv-prevention-tools-to-people-who-don%e2%80%99t-believe-their-lives-matter-20111202/

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ousslander
      ousslander

      he should be put down like a rabid dog

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Freddie
      Freddie

      In Queerty’s utopia of HIV “decriminalization”, it would all be the victim’s fault.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tazz602
      tazz602

      Being an adult means taking responsibility for your actions, and that includes being open and honest about any diseases you have, including HIV, Hep, Herpes, etc. HIV laws are unfortunately necessary because of the stigma attached to HIV and the reluctance to disclose that information because of it, since it was a death sentence and even now though treatable for most people, it isn’t always, the laws make sense to compel people to do the right thing. It’s sad that you have to write laws to compel people to be ethical, but is it any different than lemon laws for cars, or disclosing information about the house you are selling? (Let the flame wars begin)

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      There was another article about being HIV a few weeks back and I stated that this was happening. This is not the only case. This man just happened to be caught. NOW do you folks believe me it is happening?. SB

      http://www.queerty.com/first-person-there%e2%80%99s-no-point-in-giving-hiv-prevention-tools-to-people-who-don%e2%80%99t-believe-their-lives-matter-20111202/

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      “”but Smith had recently been remanded to a mental hospital Smith after several suicide attempts.””
      __________________-

      Sorry, but if somebody wants to kill themselves they can. He did it to get moved to a mental hospital rather than prison. Sounds like he wants to get off the street or wherever he is and live on the state’s dime in a hospital.

      “”but are “HIV+ penetration” laws the greater danger?””
      _____________

      Honestly I think this is lazy journalism. If the author has an argument that these laws are dangerous, then lets hear it. But he just drops that comment as if it is a settled argument. AGain, if there is an argument then lets hear it.

      As for my comment on it..gee, are laws against drunk driving the bigger danger?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pete n SFO
      Pete n SFO

      The guy is certainly villainous… but everyone seems to be overlooking the sexual partners who all were willing to have sex without protection.

      Welcome to the real world, folks.

      I remember a great campaign in SFO with two guys fucking, implied without a condom. The first guy’s thinking, “I guess he must be positive” and the second guy is thinking, “I guess he must be negative.”

      We’ve lost SOooo many people since the start of the pandemic. Why are people still so willing to believe it will never personally affect them???

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      @Cam: /facepalm

      Queerty isn’t a “news source” other than recopying material from OTHER sources.

      Queerty is not much more than a glorified “blog”.

      I have no idea why you expect a couple of unpaid contributors to do more real journalism than professionals who are actually paid to do it.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ray
      Ray

      Hell no the laws are not a danger, they are too lax. Anyone that knowingly tries to pass on a deadly disease should be killed slowly.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      This is like being an arsonist. A behavior I don’t pretend to understand.

      Contrary to what the great Andrew Sullivan warbled about in the Advocate a few years ago: an HIV/AIDS diagnosis is not the same as a diagnosis of diabetes. David Dean Smith is no different from being an arsonist.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      Again, some of you miss the point of why at least some of the HIV criminalization laws (not necessarily this one) are counterproductive and idiotic. Many of them criminalize even consensual sex between two HIV+ people: i.e., in some states it’s actually illegal for two married (!) people to have sex of any kind with each other! Is this what some of you consider appropriate? Since invariably discussion of this issue devolves into the self-righteous marriage maniacs attacking the (supposed) sluts, it should be noted that some of these laws actually discourage relationships.

      At least this Michigan law refers to “penetrative” sex which is the only kind that can infect anyone. (I realize that some Queerty posters are too goddam fucking stupid to know they can’t get it from getting a blow job.) At any rate, if someone HIV- is doing well on meds, has undetectable viral stats and USES A CONDOM, the chance of infection is essentially nil. Thousands of gay male couples have been “sero-discordant” (one + one neg) for years and even decades.

      And all the criminalization laws have the disastrous effect of discouraging HIV testing: if someone doesn’t know “officially” that they have it, they can’t be charged with anything — but those are exactly the most dangerous ones, the ones who are not on medication for it.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 12:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack
      Jack

      Knowingly spreading a chronic disease to an unknowing partner should always be a crime. We’re not talking about the common cold here. If someone knowingly gave me a cold sore, I’d want them jailed too. It’s just not acceptable. It’s not about rejecting poz guys at all. It’s only about letting people make informed decisions about their own health.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Global Traveler
      Global Traveler

      We’re all responsible for our own actions. Yes, HIV + should be up front about their status. However, people need to assume that EVERYONE with whom they sleep are positive, unless they have direct evidence to the contrary. If you engage in inherently risky behavior with a relative stranger, then you bear at least a large part of the blame.

      Many positive people don’t know they’re positive. There are just so many reasons to use condoms. I love my gay brothers, but we’re dropping the ball on this one.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      Queerty has done little reporting (or linking/blogging) on this subject, yet again falls into the habit of assuming it’s common knowledge why these laws are often bad. But I suppose the gay press in most places hasn’t been very informative on this issue.

      This site has an exhaustive list of the state laws and their weird effects – Center for HIV Law and Policy:

      http://www.hivlawandpolicy.org/resources/view/564

      Jan 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TASTEY GOODIES
      TASTEY GOODIES

      HE IS ONE SICK PUPPY. AND YES, HE IS FUGLY AND NEEDS 2 B PUT DOWN LIKE A RABID DOG.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 12:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jasun Maark
      Jasun Maark

      Oh please.

      If you are an adult and having unprotected sex with someone whose status you don’t know… You get what’s coming to you.

      He didn’t force anyone to have unprotected sex. They all made that choice for themselves.

      Do we really live in a society where people won’t even take responsibility for their own health and instead leave that up to a stranger they met on Craig’s list?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      The HIV laws were meant for people like this guy. I do, thanks to stories like this one, understand why they exist; however, the way they are enforced makes me sick. It’s hard enough to live with HIV without the bullshit of legal ostracizing and criminalizing of innocent people in an unfortunate situation.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eric in Chicago
      Eric in Chicago

      The most horrifying thing about this story is that Michigan makes transmitting HIV a Felony. WTF?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jasun Mark
      Jasun Mark

      Oh please.

      If you are an adult and having unprotected sex with someone whose status you don’t know… You get what’s coming to you.

      He didn’t force anyone to have unprotected sex. They all made that choice for themselves.

      Do we really live in a society where people won’t even take responsibility for their own health and instead leave that up to a stranger they met on Craig’s list?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MEJ
      MEJ

      @Pete n SFO:

      The guy is certainly villainous… but everyone seems to be overlooking the sexual partners who all were willing to have sex without protection.

      I’m glad someone said that.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the crustybastard
      the crustybastard

      The better question: Who’s more crazy?

      A. The person having unprotected sex with some guy they met on Yahoo! personals.

      B. The person claiming to have had unprotected sex with 3,000 partners over 3 years (2.75 partners/day for 1,095 straight days) ?

      C. The person who believes claim B.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      Why are people on here trying to blame the victims?

      If somebody has a disease and purposely spits in people’s food in a restaurant are we supposed to blame the customers for not microwaving their food after it’s delivered? No, of course not because the restaurant has to accept some of the blame, and that employee would be fired and could be arrested.

      Yet people on here are trying to say that these laws shouldn’t exist because the victims should have used protection.

      Ok, so I guess according to them, a drunk driver isn’t responsible for injuring people because they should have been faster runners and gotten out of that crosswalk.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Cam: The thing is, we know, from the fact that we are, literally, missing an entire generation of people due to this disease, what’s out there. I personally treat every sex partner as if she is positive when it comes to protecting myself. End of story. Know what happened when I didn’t behave that way? Five HIV scares, as several infections, luckily of the variety I could get rid of- THIS TIME. Nobody’s fault but my own for bedding so many women unprotected.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jasun mark
      jasun mark

      @Cam: They are not his victims. They are the victims of their own carelessness. Your analogies make no sense. One should always use protection when having sex with someone whose status they do not know. It’s their own responsibility.

      Hearing people blame someone else for their own decision to have unprotected sex is like hearing someone blame someone else for pissing in their own pants.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      this man is a disgrace to humanity, to knowingly infect people with this vile disease is beyond all contempt but as others have said his “victims” shouldn’t be shouting from the rooftops and proportioning blame, after all they chose to have sex with a total stranger without protection!

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChrisC
      ChrisC

      You should read the comments on other websites such as MSNBC, essentially people saying this is why homosexuality is wrong. I hate it how straight people think of LGBT people as a family of people, where when one does wrong, they all must be wrong. That’s such a fucked up analogy.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JayKay
      JayKay

      ”but are “HIV+ penetration” laws the greater danger?”

      No.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 11 · scott bonzitski wrote, “There was another article about being HIV a few weeks back and I stated that this was happening. This is not the only case. This man just happened to be caught. NOW do you folks believe me it is happening?”

      Well, it doesn’t change my opinion on it at all. The question is whether this guy’s behavior is a one in 100 million case or something that you should really be concerned about in your everyday life. My guess is that, if you tried for one hookup per night out in the Castro, you would be less likely to end up with a person like him (someone purposely trying to infect partners) than being hit by a car while trying to cross Market Street when the ‘walk’ light is on.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      At “B”> So, you want to try to be hit by lightning, go ahead then. The only thing that’s stopping you is YOURSELF knowing what and how to act when a storm [HIV+ person] is approaching. The safe thing to do is RUN FOR COVER!…SB

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 33 · JayKay said, “”but are “HIV+ penetration” laws the greater danger?”

      The risk of these laws is not their intent, but whether the laws would be used to harass people, including ones who take advantage of ‘anonymous’ testing out of concern that their health insurance companies might discriminate against them, resulting in no paper trail indicating their status, and with some homophobic DA taking the lack of a paper trail as proof of “intent”.

      Such concerns are real given the Nazi-like tendency in the U.S. to pass “zero tolerance” laws. There was one case in our area where a professor at a major university spent a night in jail because his 17 year old teenage son had some friends over for a party in their basement. While the professor checked up on the kids a few times during the evening and saw nothing obviously wrong, a few of the kids had some alcoholic beverages that were undoubtedly well hidden. The parents ended up in jail because of a state law that held parents responsible for underaged drinking at their homes. It’s one thing for such laws to apply to parents who ignore the problem, but it is not reasonable to expect parents to set up an airport-security check point and strip search everyone to be doubly sure.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 33 · JayKay said, “”but are “HIV+ penetration” laws the greater danger?”

      The risk of these laws is not their intent, but whether the laws would be used to harass people, including ones who take advantage of ‘anonymous’ testing out of concern that their health insurance companies might discriminate against them, resulting in no paper trail indicating their status, and with some homophobic DA taking the lack of a paper trail as proof of “intent”.

      Such concerns are real given the Nazi-like tendency in the U.S. to pass “zero tolerance” laws. There was one case in our area where a professor at a major university spent a night in jail because his 17 year old teenage son had some friends over for a party in their basement. While the professor checked up on the kids a few times during the evening and saw nothing obviously wrong, a few of the kids had some alcoholic beverages that were undoubtedly well hidden. The parents ended up in jail because of a state law that held parents responsible for underaged drinking at their homes. It’s one thing for such laws to apply to parents who ignore the problem or actually supply some alcohol, but it is not reasonable to expect parents to set up an airport-security check point and strip search everyone to be doubly sure.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andy
      Andy

      As usual, shitty serophobic journalism from a shitty, serophobic website. So much “this is why we need these laws”…apparently to protect willfully ignorant barebackers from schizophrenic old men who are obviously not infectious.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan

      So he faces prison for potentially infecting others with HIV, but politicians are not put in prison or executed for violating the human rights of millions. That is messed up.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JASON
      JASON

      Let me guess, his “idol” is Madonna

      helpmothermonster dot blogspot dot com

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @the crustybastard: Great point! Looks like the rest of us (on either side) didn’t bother to do the math… oops.

      From the looks of him, it seems very unlikely he could score at the level of 3,000 partners in 3 years! Are there even that many “sex workers” in the whole state of Michigan?

      But imagine if a young, really cute HIV+ gay guy did this, exclusively to gay guys. We’d probably have an entirely different take on the story, from a site like Queerty that endlessly glorifies barebacking and porn that shows barebacking, and from posters who apparently want quarantining so that the (supposedly) HIV- guys can continue with the “intimacy” of barebacking, and all that crap.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • WillBFair
      WillBFair

      I’m not interested in psychopaths. They’re beneath contempt.
      I am interested in stopping hiv among gay people; in providing emotional support for the twenty something crowd, to give them self esteem so they will be safe always; and in setting mature standards in the community to stop the spread of hiv now, once and for all.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 5:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @the other Greg: Its not “quarantining”, its “setting mature standards that protect our precious gay youth” who are so damaged by the evil high schools that they’re incapable of even basic self protection. We’re not creating leper colonies either, we’re encouraging “sero division”, and these laws aren’t stigmatizing, counterproductive and discriminatory, they’re “important ways to help me take control of my health”. Because I”m “DDF and I’d like to stay that way”.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      The mere fact that this man has had sex with thousands of people and none of them have caught HIV proves one thing: HIV is very difficult to catch.

      As for HIV itself, it doesn’t cause AIDS. It’s been proven. If you want to keep swallowing the politically correct line that HIV causes AIDS, go right ahead. You are the useful idiots manipulated by HIV scientists and the pharmaceutical industry,

      Jan 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pickles
      Pickles

      Have these people he was sleeping with never heard of condoms?
      Are they all feeble minded or unaware of how STIs are spread?
      He lied about his status (or worse, none of them bothered to ask)
      But at the end of the day, each one of these people he slept with made a CHOICE not to use a condom while having sex with someone.
      It’s not rocket science.
      ALWAYS USE A FREAKING CONDOM.
      They are cheap and readily accessible.
      Any ADULT (male or female) who can’t figure that out isn’t responsible enough have sex with anyone. End of.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @ Dan>, “Eye” see your point and quickly recognise it. I, too, am DDF and prefer to stay that way. It is the only way to be [in my book and opinion]. I treat my body as a temple and do not allow others to “penetrate” it unless I am sure they are worthy of allowance. Does that make me an outcast? I should think not. I an IN CONTROL of my destiny as well as others. Just because I CHOOSE not to have BB sex ~or~ allow penetration does not make me ~weird~. It makes me wholesome and live with dignity. If an individual wants to belittle you and make you feel inferior whilest having sex, it is THEIR problem, not mine. I have to LIVE with the consequences’ of MY decisions not them…SB

      Jan 2, 2012 at 6:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Dan: Heh heh. Thanks for clearing that up. Too bad your irony went over Scott’s head, but of course he has a Ph.D. (or claims to!).

      Jan 2, 2012 at 6:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott
      Scott

      It takes two to tango. Always insist on using condoms. If he refuses then dump his sorry ass because it means he has no respect for you. Neither women nor men should be so ignorant about sexually transmitted diseases. Always assume you’re partner is positive and act accordingly. Anyone he slept with who wants him charged with a crime is playing victim and needs to accept responsibility for their own decisions. If spreading HIV is made a crime then you have to criminalize spreading gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 7:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      Re No. 44 : I’ve ignored Jason’s AIDS-denial rant – its been refuted repeatedly – but his statement that this guy has infected no one is simply false – while only one person has been identified as having been infected by him, they don’t know who the others are and have put out an announcement asking them to be tested. We won’t know the number he actually infected for some time.

      Also, if this creep was on anti-viral medication, that would have substantially reduced the risk to others (something he possibly didn’t know).

      Jan 2, 2012 at 7:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      You say it has been proven? Fine, show me this proof. I want PubMed numbers, or at least journal name, issue and article title. I can find it myself from that. And please, no pseudoscience rags like JPandS or articles by Duesberg.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 7:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan (typical queerty reader)
      Dan (typical queerty reader)

      @Scott Bonzitski: Oh, girl, I know! We deserve a gigantic ribbon for our hard work at remaining clean! I was thinking something with all the colors of the rainbow! It will help our ~*P*r*I*d*E*~.

      Also, I want a bigass set of novelty keys to the city! And a stipend from the state! Gawd, no one EVER takes MY needs into account! Anyone who says otherwise is a PSYCHOPATH! They want to MURDER our PRECIOUS GAY YOUTH with their DISEASE and IMMATURITY! By the way, when I say “precious gay youth”, I actually mean 23 year old men who in any other setting would have completed their education, started the foundations of a family and begun to take ownership of their life. Its time that we enforce STANDARDS that PROTECT those POOR GAY YOUTH! Because, clearly, we can’t ever be asked to protect ourselves. Because Safe Sex ™ is HARD…

      …but its also EASY! And it works EVERY TIME! Which is why we should make fun of people who are poz, put them down and talk about how they deerve to die! Because they are STUPID! Its why we should send them to a leper colo…ergh…”sero divided network”.

      But safe sex is also HARD, which is also why they need to be in the “sero divided network”…to PROTECT ME! Because I can’t possibly be expected to protect myself, even though other people are losers for not protecting themselves!

      …UB2!!!

      …Also, my life is a living HELL because I can’t get married to a man I haven’t met, can’t join a military that no one in their right mind would join and because some transexual got banned on facebook for showing his scars.

      OH, WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?!?! SOCIETY WANTS TO DESTROY US!!!

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      There are people out there who have HIV but not AIDS. This proves that HIV doesn’t cause AIDS.

      By definition, a cause has to be definitive. For instance, if you step in front of a moving car, you’re going to get hit. Therefore, it’s correct to say that the cause of being hit by a moving car is stepping in front of it. No such statement can be made linking HIV to AIDS.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #1 using similar name]

      We can all type/blog what we want even if it is to degrade others here and beyond.
      It’s the LIVING the life and time you are in that makes the difference. If you truly
      value life, you will do and act as if you truly care. If not, then go ahead and defecate on those [including me] that try to educate you on the true meaning of life and not throwing it away for a moment of pleasure. If you cannot relate, I feel so sorry for you for, you see, I have empathy. Go ahead and continue the downward spiral until you, yourself can see the light…SB

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      What the F*CK is wrong with you people?!

      1. HIV+ penetration laws are NOT the real danger. Desperate Mother*ucker’s who are unable to imagine the decent treatment of their sexual partners and tragically sometimes their own boyfriends are.

      2. As a gay man myself, I know that guys often lie when they want to have sex. I am HIV- but that is because I am not an easy bottom. That said, I have in my life caught std’s and I do not hook up online. BTW, statistics show that getting an infection by hooking up in SF’s Castro District are rather high and while I am not a prude and expect people to stop hooking up, the responsibility should absolutely fall on the HIV+ individuals to disclose their status to their sexual partners. Asking the victim to share 50% of the responsibility is not unreasonable but it creates a very real excuse for HIV+ people to forgo empathy and compassion for their fellow brethren – a sure misstep for the gay community’s future.

      3. Our community needs to foster a healthy and happy atmosphere for ourselves and younger gays and that means establishing guidelines for what is acceptable behavior. Irrespective of how you look at this problem, the fact is many people who are HIV+ suspect it based on their past and current behavior. In addition, it is unfair to rob the younger generations of gays of the opportunity to have sex without a condom in the future but WE adults need to make that a reality today via responsible behavior, since the past generations did not know better and some of them simply did not care.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #2 using similar name]

      PS: I do not hold myself high on a pedestal nor do I care too. I am just PROUD of the decisions I have made [not only in the past] but, currently. I believe in paying for ill-forseen decisions just like Karma. You do unto yourself as you ALLOW others to do unto you. Just because someone “decides” in a moment of “pleasure” to succumb to doing what the other person wants/entices you to do does not make you a wimp, only a selfish patronizing partner devoid of any inner respect and wanting to be lead by others. Go ahead and try to ingest that for a change…SB

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #2 using similar name]

      @No. 51 · Dan (typical queerty reader) Keep up the good work. Your doing accolades for those that follow.

      @No. 54 · Almanza.You are so correct. Too bad this website attracts the unintellegent(s)…SB :(

      Jan 2, 2012 at 8:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Allen D.
      Allen D.

      @jasun mark: What about the ‘stealthing’ phenomenon?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #1 using similar name]

      No. 54 · Almanza – “since the past generations did not know better and some of them simply did not care.”
      By the perusing of these blogs, some STILL do not care…SAD…SB

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan (typical queerty reader)
      Dan (typical queerty reader) [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @Scott Bonzitski: Oh, Girl, I DO love LIFE, because I’m ~*F*a*B*u*L*o*U*s~. Also, because I am “AMAZEBALLS”!

      +++++++

      In all seriousness, I wonder how many of the 1 in 5 gay men living with HIV are set on a downard spiral when they read blogs like this? HIV+ gay men are a big part of the community, whether we like to admit it or not. We’re not reckless losers. We’re human beings, who made a mistake. You know, the kind of mistake that lead to us all being here in the first place. The kind of mistake that virtually everyone makes at some point in their life. Making those with HIV feel like trash is one of the most unacceptable things this blog does, and something everyone involved should be ashamed of. And make no mistake, when a gay website publishes irrellevant stories about mentally ill typhoid maries with questionable stories, the effect is to make a very vulnerable group of people feel like trash. If any of you were to pull up CNN and see “gay man molests children”, you’d be freaking out, and rightfully so. Somehow though, when you’re asked to be objective and rational about a group you don’t belong to, you prove how little empathy and compassion you’ve learned.

      Queerty is almost certainly responsible for the deaths of people who would’ve otherwise lived a near-normal life, as it disenfranchises poz guys, creates an atmosphere where they disregard their health needs and convinces everyone else that HIV can’t happen to them. As a site that caters to young gay men, its impact will be felt for decades, both amongst those who are poz and those who will be.

      Most HIV+ gay men aren’t at all different from the typical reader of this site, except they’ve contracted an unfortunate STD. They still have a lot of living left to do, and there is a lot of self protection for them to engage in. Queerty, and its gaggles of snotty posters, operate from a vantage that they aren’t real, and that they’ve “thrown their life away”. They haven’t. They just made a mistake. Life isn’t thrown away until its over, but putting someone down or maligning them with irrellevant scare stories like “typhoid mary of HIV” almost certainly contributes to a cycle of behavior that results in that lives ending sooner than necessary. From a site…and a readership…that complains about being kept down by straight society, this is evil and hypocritical.

      Scott, you aren’t empathetic, you are sanctimonious jerk who can barely string a sentece together. You aren’t even the worst this site has to offer though. WillBFair is nothing short of a monster whose halfbaked ideas make everything worse for those trying to navigate the complexities of sex in a highly seroprevalent environment, to say nothing about those who are trying to decide whether they have anything left to live for after their test comes back positive. “Mike in Asheville” in having said that unprotected sex between poz guys is ok, and in distorting the picture of risk posed by guys who are tested vs the agregate of gay men, has probably compelled a few newly infected people to engage in reckless behavior that further shortened their lives. These characters, and the rest of the narcissists who populate this site,would be no more than nasty anonymous trolls, but for the scores of readers who will face the virus having been informed by the train everything Queerty offers. If telling you people that you’re idiots counterbalances a toxic environment for those who are and will become poz is “defecating” on you, I’ll gladly take another swig of laxative and have at it.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      @jason: Your logic has more holes than a National Bottoms Convention. Nobody has AIDS without also having HIV. Medical treatment can delay the onset of AIDS. Again, I don’t want faulty logic. I want studies, PubMed I’D numbers

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: “In addition, it is unfair to rob the younger generations of gays of the opportunity to have sex without a condom in the future…”

      This is the part I don’t get. What’s so great about barebacking anyway? When you’re the top it’s often dirty and gross. When you’re the bottom you can’t tell the fuckin’ difference anyway. If we’re somehow “robbing” tops who are too lazy to put on a condom (or maybe, take an HIV test), so what?

      What’s with all the glorification of barebacking? That’s the problem.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Riker,

      Nonsense, absolute nonsense. I can guarantee you that there are people out there with compromised immune systems who do not have HIV in their bodies.

      Destroyed immune systems have been killing people for millions of years in both the presence and absence of HIV.

      Learn to think, please.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      HIV was used by women to demonize bisexual men while at the same time elevating bisexual women to some glorified status.

      Women are primarily responsible for demonizing the concept of men being able to have sex with both men and women.

      Women are extremely envious of male-male sensuality, particularly if it’s practiced between straight-identifying men.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 9:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Dan (typical queerty reader): Thanks for your amazing post. I’ll add that WAY too many negative guys rule out the possibility of a long-time sero-discordant relationship. It happens a lot, but so many of the neg guys who post on these stories are totally, 100% focused on finding some way to keep all those diseased freaks away from them… in the manner of warding off vampires with crucifixes and garlic.

      I wouldn’t worry about Scott B., except that he has referred to having “patients” even though his degree is apparently not a medical one. This makes me worry that he’s a social worker, or worse, a therapist, and his unfortunate poz patients are stuck with him at their HMO, or worse, a big city welfare hospital or the V.A., my god. So I wonder how many “patients” he’s driven to suicide, to take a cue from what you bring up in your post re: Queerty.

      But I’m not sure Queerty is as blameworthy as you say, since they strongly imply here that it’s common knowledge that these draconian laws are counterproductive. It’s more that they’ve done a bad job explaining that, judging from most of the comments here. Also, the headline here is WRONG – as so often happens! – because it’s more like this guy CLAIMS, rather than “admits” to infecting an absolutely impossible number of partners. (Sorry for the CAPS – maybe Scott B. is contagious!)

      Like most of the pompous prudes who whine about this issue from the married side, Scott B. wants a medal from the gay community for being in a relationship for 16 years, and for staying pure and “wholesome.” (Barf!) Hmm, I’d consider awarding his husband a medal for putting up with him that long.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #3 using similar name]

      >No. 59 · Dan (typical queerty reader)

      You can tell by your rants that you truly need some help figuring out your role
      in this life. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m asking you to seek help. Not only for yourself but, for the others around you. It may give you insight into your meaning of life. You appear to be very bitter towards anyone that has a logical stance..SB

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Storm
      Storm

      I enjoy reading QUEERTY, but I’m startled by the pomposity and sanctimony exhibited in these comments. David Dean Smith doesn’t have 3,000 victims. He has 3,000 accomplices. Assuming his unlikely claim is true, three thousand people consented to unprotected sex with a complete stranger, men and women, many through internet hook-ups. I don’t judge that behavior, but not one of those people could have been unaware of the risk involved.
      People make amazing justifications for sexual behavior. I once heard a top on this site speak disdainfully of bottoms, because bottoms probably had AIDS. When I reminded him that, if they had AIDS, they most likely were infected by a top, he became indignant. I’ve heard others claim they only slept with young guys, because young guys probably had not been exposed yet to the virus so were more likely to be HIV-free. Still others out there are now claiming they can’t get the virus at all because they’re “Delta-32.” And there are stranger excuses. Someone right here just opined that young guys deserve time to have unprotected sex.
      Here’s a simple fact. We’re now thirty years into the AIDS epidemic. Thirty years. That’s a very long time for any man to “wrap his weenie” every time. People are people, and even the best-intentioned are fallible.
      These laws don’t help. At best, they may satisfy a puritanical desire for vengeance and retribution. I don’t know anybody like Smith or anybody who would deliberately infect someone, but I do know men that refuse to get tested specifically because of laws like this and because of laws that prevent anonymous testing. Ssome of them are probably already infected and may be infecting others. Wagging fingers or heaping scorn on HIV-positive people accomplishes nothing. Rather it exacerbates a problem by compelling Poz people to hide or deny their status and others to avoid testing altogether.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @Storm: Call them accomplices if you like, but it’s nothing like a balanced sort. There’s a difference between knowingly and deliberately spreading disease and just taking less care to avoid catching it than you ought to. the most similar they can reasonably be said to be is analogous to the difference between cold-blooded murder and involuntary manslaughter.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg: Actually, since you ask, I will explain. I am not so much glorifying barebacking as a casual and random activity, AS I AM HIGHLIGHTING A NEED TO INSPIRE YOUNG GAYS TO LOOK FORWARD TO A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEY CAN FORGO THE USE OF A CONDOM – IN THE FUTURE, WHEN HIV IS A THING OF THE PAST. For example, although many heterosexual unions end in divorce and often fail, generally speaking, the heterosexual community enjoys a much lower risk of HIV infection. I believe this is due to their established rituals including what is and is not acceptable/desirable behavior. For example, when was the last time you heard an average hetero girl in her 20’s aspire to be gang-banged or have sex in a bathroom at the bar? Possible but Unlikely. This is because they have a shared compass on what is and is not acceptable/desirable.

      I apologize if I mislead anyone but my main point is to not let HIV+ individuals who have sex indiscriminately off the hook. They absolutely have a responsibility to not spread HIV, simply because many of them know their status but hide behind relaxed attitudes about barebacking at the drop of a hat!

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad
      CBRad

      I just can’t help but think, and hope, that the 3000 is a much inflated claim. Anyway, besides the Peter and Hans conviction in the Netherlands (2008 ?) this is the only case I’ve heard of where people tried to purposely transmit HIV. Which, in my opinion, is a world away from people who just act reckless and stupid (not that they’re not open for criticism, but…)

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james_from_cambridge
      james_from_cambridge

      Jason, seriously, get some help. You have some serious issues with women and gay men. Like you’ll-turn-into-a-serial-killer-targeting-woman-and-gays serious if you don’t get help. Your statements are becoming rather random and no matter what the topic, you always, ALWAYS bring it around to bisexuality and women. And there is now always a vicious undertone towards gays and women in everything you write as well. All women are hateful hypocrites you tell us, over and over and over, no matter how unrelated it is to the subject at hand. And there’s also a rather strange, detached quality to these statements, as if you can’t make a connection of any kind to the people and subjects we’re discussing. And being unable to relate to any person or thing is definitely a symptom of mental illness.

      If anyone here knows Jason in the real world, please, please see if you can contact his loved ones and get him some help! I’m not trolling; I’m honestly becoming concerned for him.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lucifer
      Lucifer

      Some one will low this man off the face of the earth.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @Storm: If you are a gay male and you don’t know any Poz guys who have knowingly had unprotected sex, then I suggest you wake up! In addition, you display much ignorance by implying that everyone who hooks up on the internet knows exactly what they are getting into. Some of the reasons people hook up online is to hide, lie and cheat. By nature they are not all going to be familiar with the idiosyncrasies of gay casual sex. I am not sanctimonious but I am a realist and I will reiterate it once again: YOUNG GAYS DESERVE THE CHANCE TO ASPIRE TO A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEY CAN ENGAGE IN LOVEMAKING WITHOUT A CONDOM ONE DAY. THANKS IN PART TO ATTITUDES SUCH AS YOURS THAT DAY IS CERTAINLY NOT HERE NOW AND SEEMS VERY FAR INDEED. Call it social responsibility and for the gay community, we gays are the only one’s who can bring that change about via our behaviors.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      @jason: Your rhetoric still has more huge gaping holes than Folsom Street Fair. And still not a single piece of scientific research you can point to.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zack
      Zack

      I’m curious to know how much longer HIV/ AIDS will be around. I’m 18 and very thankful I was not around in the 80’s and 90’s when the gays were dropping like flies. But I have tremendous sorrow for those of you who were. My heart bleeds for you. I am SO hopeful this scourge will be a thing of the past soon. Or am I being extremely naive?

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DB
      DB

      @Eric in Chicago: Anyone who is infected with HIV and has unprotected sex with someone or has sex with someone without telling him, should be in prison for life. Transmitting HIV is cold-blooded murder, no less.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DB
      DB

      @Zack: 50,000 Americans are newly infected every year (61% of them gay men). The pandemic is not near its end, unfortunately. Be careful.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: You have an ironic take on it, since for years all we ever heard was: Get rid of those nasty old bathhouses (with their free condoms & prominent HIV info) and while we’re at it, who needs those tired old gay bars (with their free condoms & prominent HIV info)… in fact, who needs practically any real-life gay male gathering place except once-a-year Pride parades.

      So it’s interesting that, as you point out, online hookups can be actually be much worse in terms of information. Or are they really?

      You say to Storm, “you display much ignorance by implying that everyone who hooks up on the internet knows exactly what they are getting into.” Well what exactly do they need to know? WEAR A CONDOM. IF A GUY WANTS TO BAREBACK YOU AND TELLS YOU HE’S NEGATIVE, DON’T BELIEVE IT.

      And that’s about it, until the magical HIV- negative Mr. Right cums along for your young guy’s hypothetical monotonous relationship. Young guys are so romantic nowadays! (Well, maybe you’re the naive one there.)

      This is a pretty simple message, especially if the guys are, you know, TYPING ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS ABOUT WHAT TO DO AHEAD OF TIME. :)

      Jan 2, 2012 at 11:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • shannon
      shannon

      LIKE I HAVE ALWAYS SAID HERE…ONLY THE DESPERATE GAY MEN WHO –SCREAM– ALL THE TIME “OMG HE IS SOO HAWT”….WOULD SLEEP WITH A CYCLOPS LIKE THIS!~!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF IS CUTE ABOUT THIS GROSS MONKEY??? LOOK AT WHAT HE HAS DONE TO PEOPLE…..PROTECT YOURSELF!!!

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Justin
      Justin

      What I don’t understand is why. I’ve thankfully been able to stay negative through ten years of sexual activity (condoms helped) but I were to turn up positive I can’t imagine in a million years wanting to pass it on to someone else. It defies all concepts of human decency. Being ignorant and unaware you have it and passing it is so different from knowing you carry a fatal disease and decided to give it to other people. I can’t grasp it.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #2 using similar name]

      @the other Greg: If this article alone were an isolated concern, I’d ignore it. Queerty fosters a broad, ongoing discourse which is increasingly prevalent in the gay community, and it is has provided oxygen to the flames of the epidemic by making life worse for those who are infected. Queerty does this in numerous ways, from the overt to the subtle. Whether its creating headlines like “should HIV- men be required to have sex with HIV+ guys”, which initiates a conversation that is pre-loaded with a straw man that villifies those opposed to serosorting, to Daniel Villreal pointlessly robbing people of their optimism by letting them know “what (he thinks) lies ahead”, to the deafening silence of poz-related health matters that reinforces the sense that poz people are already dead.

      The effect of this atmosphere-which Queerty helps foster-is nothing short of murder. HIV, by itself, really isn’t the worst thing that could happen to someone. Obviously, don’t run out and get it, but I’d take this over a lot of other diseases. The most accurate actuarial data we have indicates that if someone is poz…and their ONLY major health issue is HIV, or complications of the illness and its drugs…they will lose a few years of life. Some of the more optimistic European studies indicate that morbidity and mortality of otherwise healthy poz people is almost identical to the general population. Quality of life is generally fine too. Hell, since starting treatment, I don’t even get sick more than people who don’t have the virus.

      Unfortunately, the behavior of most poz gay men within a few years of infection doesn’t typically keep them in a position for HIV to be their only health concern. I forget the exact percentage, but a HUGE percentage of poz gay men go on to start meth, and experience all of the health concerns that come iwth it. This has been an increasingly public issue for a number of our activists. There is increasing evidence that hepatitis C is sexually transmitted between poz guys, but barebacking with strangers becomes common with many only AFTER being diagnosed. Virtually all poz guys smoke. When people feel like their life is over, they behave accordingly. This isn’t liberal mumbo jumbo, its just human nature. When you’re treated like a monster, like a freak, like a slut, loser or druggie, you become one, regardless of what you were before “your result was positive”. We’ve seen this played out repeatedly in scientific research. You’re clearly smart enough to be familiar with the Milgram Studies, so I’d suggest you apply them here. Most poz guys have similar stories about the stupid shit we did AFTER testing positive. It includes a pattern of behavior we would’ve never engaged in before. Once you’re poz, you suddenly find yourself barebacking strangers, emptying out your bank accounts and isolating yourself from loved ones. Its practically formulaic. This is why 1/3 of people with HIV are coinfected with hepatitis C, and why the overwhelming majority of them are diagnosed with it AFTER the first two years of infection—testing positive is a HUGE mindfuck. This is why syphillis is endemic in the poz community. The best friend of a friend killed himself shortly after I was diagnosed, as a result of the hysteria he felt over his own diagnosis. An acquaintance overdosed on drugs and was eaten alive by dogs a few days later. The emotional trauma heaped on people with HIV will kill most of us. The diagnosis just gets the ball rolling.

      So yes, I think that Queerty kills. I don’t think that’s an exaggeration, or giving the site power it doesn’t have. I think other sites are also guilty, but the articles on here, and the comments, are particularly guilty of engendering a sense of hopelessness that causes people to act out. I know this site was instrumental in my own sense of fatalism after diagnosis, and a lot of terrible, self destructive decisions followed. I see newly diagnosed people here express concerns for their future, and know they’re on the same path. That’s tragic. They need to be told that they’ve got a lot of living left. They need to know that there is a lot of happiness ahead of them. There are a lot of opportunities to achieve. For the more ambitious of them, it very much includes the glamorous depictions of drug ads, climbing moutains, starting business and running marathons.

      Newly diagnosed people don’t need to hear willbfair subtlely suggest they be “sero divided”, which is in every respect as cruel and ineffective as the leper colonies of ancient times. Newly infected people don’t need to be treated like walking corpses by Bonzitski or told that they need to wear a scarlet letter with a disclosure that is redundant and counterproductive.

      Let me tell you about myself. I came out when I was 17, on prom king court, in a small town in the midwest. I went to college in the homophobic south, just because I wanted to. I moved east, lived out of my car and carved a life for myself, and I never once felt like homophobia was a hinderance. I’ve got balls of fucking steel, but the stress of my diagnosis tore me apart and left me a shell of myself. I’m telling this story to illustrate how NOTHING this site preoccupies itself with compares to what some of its readers are-and will-endure. HIV is analogized with leprosy, and rightfully so. The sense of stigma, of shame and pain is beyond words, beyond anything most people can fathom, and it has nothing to do with the physical effects of the virus.

      Gay men with HIV are beautiful, gentle humans. Honestly, the people I personally know with HIV are among the most inspiring people I can imagine. I’ve met people who’ve seen and done things I could never imagine doing before. They’re not any sleazier than anyone else who has ever had unprotected sex. They have a health condition, and they deserve to be loved, and to love themselves. They’re not monsters. They’re only expensive liabilites because we allow the drug companies to gouge them. They’re not even risky to their partners if they take their meds and use condoms, which they should be doing for their own health anyways. Instead, we keep posting articles like this, using phrases like “typhoid mary”, telling them that they’re scum, that they’ve screwed themselves, etc etc etc.

      And so I’ll keep posting. If *ONE* person who is newly diagnosed, or is about to be newly diagnosed, is moved to behave like a rational person, like someone with a lot of life ahead of them, is calmed in their moment of need or compelled to see the idiocy of the serophobes on here, I’ll have accomplished something. That is a far stronger motivation than the trolls who just need to put people down. Someone on here talked about Karma. Lets bring it on.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 52 · jason wrote, “There are people out there who have HIV but not AIDS. This proves that HIV doesn’t cause AIDS.”

      Hey, I once heard about a guy who walked through the beam of a particle accelerator twice. The beam was pulsed and each pulse contained a fatal dose of radiation. He managed to get through between pulses both times. Everyone else held their heads – when they warned him he had turned around and walked back, not realizing that he had already passed through the area the beam went through. If you think that lucking out twice means that a fatal does of radiation is not fatal, I’ve got a bridge for sale at a bargain price, so just give me a call.

      Jason continues with, “By definition, a cause has to be definitive. For instance, if you step in front of a moving car, you’re going to get hit. Therefore, it’s correct to say that the cause of being hit by a moving car is stepping in front of it. No such statement can be made linking HIV to AIDS.”

      Jason apparently doesn’t realize that some drivers react faster and get the car to stop or swerve sooner than others.

      I once saw a film of one of Richard Feynman’s physics lectures on quantum mechanics. He said in a pompous voice, “A philosopher once said, ‘in order for there to be physics, there must be reproducible experiments”. Switching to a Brooklyn accent (Feynman grew up there and could do the accent perfectly), he continued with “It don’t work dat way.” (Of course, this helped keep the students’ attention because they never knew when the next wisecrack was coming and they didn’t want to miss it).

      Jason, you don’t get the same outcome each time – it don’t work dat way.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg: Sit down No No! I am not naive, you are old-fashioned and apparently lack the foresight to imagine a healthy, satisfying and yes, monogamous relationship. FYI, I am nearly 40, hung out almost exclusively at leather bars from ages 16-30 and have had sex with every type of man that I ever wanted to, every type. As you can imagine I am far from boring yet I also realize that life is not a big cruising area and that there is a time and place for everything. I don’t agree with your (presumably sarcastic) notions to close down gay bars, I SIMPLY REALIZE THAT THE GAY-MALE COMMUNITY NEEDS TO EVOLVE AND REALIZE THAT BUILDING ONE’S LIFE AROUND SEX CAN BE VERY PROBLEMATIC, EMPTY, LONELY AND SHALLOW. WE NEED TO SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT FULFILLING, LONG -LASTING RELATIONSHIPS. That said, I am not surprised to hear a gay male say that monogamous (or in your case monotonous) relationships are boring. You are just one of thousands of people who fail to see the pathetic spectacle of older men behaving like they are in their 20s well into their late 50s and older, who I would venture to say, only slow down and/or stop when they realize that they have lost their sex appeal.

      I have studied gay male behavior quite a bit and I see that many closeted men hook up or look for relationships exclusively online and do not know how selfish and superficial people looking for “SEX ONLY” can be. I addition many young guys outside of large cities do not know the ropes in the gay world and they end up meeting the wrong sex-addict (that’s a person who hangs out in hook-up websites consistently FYI) with tragic results. These are just two examples of guys who are not privy the the grand cynicism that is so pervasive in the gay male community (as exemplified by your “monotonous” remark).

      I think we, the older members of the gay community need to establish a bit of structure in the gay community and rise to the occasion of being a role model for younger gays instead of hanging out online or in bars looking for sex.

      BTW, I highly recommend this great song from one of my favorite bands: the now defunct Until December. The song is called LIVE ALONE IN SHAME. There is no reason why we, the gay male community cannot move past that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSmPtUvrfQE

      Jan 3, 2012 at 1:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 74 · Zack wrote, “I’m curious to know how much longer HIV/ AIDS will be around. I’m 18 and very thankful I was not around in the 80?s and 90?s when the gays were dropping like flies. But I have tremendous sorrow for those of you who were. My heart bleeds for you. I am SO hopeful this scourge will be a thing of the past soon. Or am I being extremely naive?”

      I’d make a rough estimate of 5 to 10 years, but it could be much longer so nobody should make optimistic assumptions regarding use of condoms, etc. Basically, we are doing things much faster now than we could 20 or 30 years ago. Check out http://www.genome.gov/sequencingcosts/ for what is happening to the cost of DNA sequencing, just as an example. In addition, there’s the continual improvement in computer performance. Here’s another example: http://www.lbl.gov/Science-Articles/Archive/sb/July-2004/1_HIV.html – lots of things are being tried that would have been completely infeasible earlier because we didn’t have computers up to the task.

      A lot of things that sound promising are being tried and at a much higher rate that would have been possible in the past. Hopefully one of them will work, and we can all hope that it will be sooner rather than later.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 1:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • HIV+_and_married
      HIV+_and_married

      I do not mind laws that criminaliz knowingly passing this horrid curse on. That is fair and reasonable, I can scope them laws as acceptible.

      I take exceptions to laws that say me and my coinfected spouse can not has sex with eachother in some states without commitin a felony.
      We both knows we have it, and who gave it to who and we got past that and stayed togathir. We shouldn’t have to worry that we can actually be charged for having consentual sex with each other.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 2:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: I’m in a happy long-term relationship (sero-discordant, as some may have guessed).

      It’s interesting that you were hanging out “in leather bars from ages 16[!!!]-30 and have had sex with every type of man that I ever wanted to, every type”… but NOW, in your 40s, you want to herd young guys into monogamous relationships. How convenient for you! Well I’m sure all the young guys will find that really impressive and consider you a great “role model”… oops.

      HIV was MUCH more life-threatening when you (and I) were young, but that wasn’t enough to herd you (or me) into some artificial monogamous relationship, just for the sake of avoiding HIV. No, we had to find the right guy, and often that takes a long time.

      You say, “I think we, the older members of the gay community need to establish a bit of structure in the gay community and rise to the occasion of being a role model for younger gays instead of hanging out online or in bars looking for sex.”

      So… guys over 40 who happen to be single, shouldn’t even try to find anyone to have sex with? Gee, that’s a tough sell. As I said, I’m in a relationship, but I realize not everyone needs or even wants one. Relationships are not the easiest things to find. And no, I’m not defending online sexual wolves looking for vulnerable younger guys. But seriously, you’re objecting to any single guy over 40 going to a bar? Really?

      I don’t get your brand of “right-wing social engineering.” In your 40s, you have joined the ranks of the prudes who essentially want to turn gay men into women. But, oddly, you dream of a world where young guys can monogamously bareback – I mean, have “lovemaking” without condoms – “in a world free of HIV,” which doesn’t even make any sense. If two HIV- guys meet TODAY, make an emotional connection, become partners and – after a few months of deliberation – decide to give up condoms in a monogamous relationship, there is nothing stopping them from doing that NOW. Even I would have no objection, because I am not trying to rearrange the whole fucking gay world like you are, hypocritically.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 2:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Dan: Difficult thoughts, beautifully put. I hope the Queerty writers will take it to heart (if any, ha ha). And the people who know you in real life are lucky!

      Jan 3, 2012 at 2:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Neutral Dave
      Neutral Dave

      Fugly? As in the outer look or the inner character? Because despite being dangerous and a sociopath, he looks good. I wish journalists wouldn’t bring in their own opinion.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 3:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dwp
      dwp

      i know this man. his claim to have slept with thousands (male and female) is not exaggerated. he led a double life, i do not know the man that has done this terrible thing. i know the other Dave. the husband/father, holding a job, outward appearance looks normal, talented musician, sensitive and caring Dave. as far as him being fugly? have you ever seen a good looking mug shot? the mug shot is rock bottom for most people. Dave is an average guy that has some very serious issues and made some very poor decisions that will unfortunately be life changing for many many people. i am not condoning his actions and he should and will be punished. male or female, be smart and practice safe sex. risky behavior is your choice but dont punish others for their poor choices as this man has done.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 4:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • T
      T

      I’m stopping to care for LGBT community or in this case for straight people too who get infected with HIV. If you do get infected with HIV YES, IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT. If you do not know the status of your partner then you NEVER bareback. You NEVER bareback even if you do know your partner’s status unless you become monogamous.

      The only way HIV will stop spreading, especially in the gay world, is if we start embracing the old-aged concept of sexual morality, monogamy, love and self respect. As long as we continue to promote and shamelessly embrace culture of Manhunt, Grindr and Craigslist, HIV will spread spread from old to younger generation. Now with all major porn studios going bareback including Sean Cody, we see a rise in retardation within the LGBT community who run around collecting cum samples from strangers because “bare-backing is hawt.” Porn studios in bareback business are responding to a consumer demand; that means more men are relaxed about safe sex practices. HIV will live on thanks to our own lifestyle choices. Have fun people!!

      Jan 3, 2012 at 4:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg: HAHAHAHA! You are so presumptuous and you are wrong and I think it’s great that I can point out all your preconceived notions in a public forum.

      You should know that I am HIV-Negative and that did not just happen, it is a direct result of my choices, even while hanging out a leather bars when I was young.

      I don’t want to heard young guys into monogamous relationships, I think they should do as they please so long as they are smart and protect themselves. In fact I would suggest a good age to find a partner woud be around one’s mid to late 20’s or early 30’s (not before that) you know, like the rest of the sensible world. Furthermore, I think all people should aspire to having sex without a condom BUT ONLY UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES, WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER AND CERTAINLY NOT WITH EVERYONE. Are you able to get my message? It is about a healthy lifestyle that does not exclude having fun and getting your rocks off, it just emphasizes responsibility. Why is that so uncomfortable to you? Having limits does not make you a prude but it can make you HIV Negative.

      Also, you moron, my partner is 12 years older than me and when I say we need to become role models I am speaking to the entire community not just to myself.

      I am not trying to rearrange the “whole fucking gay world” I just think it’s time for the gay male community to develop a value system and for some reason that pisses you off. You need to stop projecting your baggage onto other people, if change makes you uncomfortable then you don’t have to change but implying that all is fine in the gay male community which to this day boasts some of the highest HIV infection rates is wrong. We need a solid structure and we need to develop a value system and this is not news.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 4:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      A lot of you enjoy the attention that comes with being sick. It enables you to play the victim card. Well, I’ve had it with you. I will not allow you to define male homosexuality. You and your illnesses – most of them due to promiscuity – can fuck off. We don’t want you in the gay community defining who we are.

      Stop using the noble gay concept as a cover for your vile promiscuous behavior. Vile promiscuous behavior is due to your poor choices, and not your innate homosexual orientation. You have made some very poor choices in life for which you are now paying the consequences.

      If you want to live in Victimsville, go right ahead. Just don’t drag the rest of us down with you.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 8:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Opheliac
      Opheliac

      @T: Um… how about rape, or HIV spread by blood? -_- This is victim-blaming crap.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 8:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @T: Now, to be fair, one of the best things about being queer is that we don’t have all those silly age old rules the heteros have been following all this time. We are liberated. We are QUEER. No need to be imitation heterosexuals to be safe. We do not have to lose our culture to be safe.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 8:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      AIDS isn’t caused by one’s sexual orientation. No illness on earth is caused by sexual orientation. It is not a gay illness and never has been. The only reason many think of it as a gay illness is because gay sick people enjoy playing the victim card on the point of their sickness. Gay sick people enjoy the attention that comes with being sick.

      Being gay is a beautiful, healthy thing. It is a thing to be proud of. However, the choices of some gay people are not something to be proud of. Memo to these sorts: stop trying to drag the rest of us down with you.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 8:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @Shannon1981: actually, being homosexual is quite natural and it is safe to assume that we have existed from the beginning of time. That renders your idea of all of us being queer mute and you seem to want to use that word as an excuse to not accept responsibility and to detract from building a legacy that our community can be truly proud of. Homosexuality is just another form of sexuality and when our community embraces LOVE instead of sex as a unifier and not a separator we will begin real progress and find way more acceptance in the world. FYI, the definition for queer is below and not all us like or fit into this criteria:

      queer? ?[kweer] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, verb, noun
      adjective
      1.
      strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
      2.
      of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
      3.
      not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
      4.
      mentally unbalanced or deranged.
      5.
      Slang: Disparaging and Offensive .
      a.
      homosexual.
      b.
      effeminate; unmanly.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 11:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @jason: Still a fucking moron, jason, you fucking moron.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @jason: Fuck You you brain dead asshole moron!

      Fine, 1 in a zillion, suffer from some fucked-up form of Munchausen by Proxy syndrome; but the notion that all of us HIV+ enjoy being HIV+ is as fucked-up as everything else you spew from your idiot pile of shit you call your brain.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nick
      Nick

      No way that many people wanted to have relations with him.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Googie McGooGob
      Googie McGooGob

      Karma’s a bitch.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 3:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: No, I’m always amused when a gay guy in middle age (or old age) gets the notion that he wants to be a “role model” for gay youth… FROM HIS KEYBOARD! It’s no less amusing when Larry Kramer does it than when you do it. It’s all self-aggrandizement, desire for recognition, masquerading as “concern for gay youth” yadda yadda yadda.

      Actually I wish I had a nickel for every “Gaytopia” sort of article and comment I’ve read since about 1982. All the Gaytopias are a little different, they have some peculiar obsession of the particular author (in your case, barebacking)… but the thing the Gaytopias all have in common is they’re all heterocentric, they all essentially want to turn gay men into women, and imprint a heterosexual culture on us… somehow, some way… yet the method is never explained. The Gaytopia schemes never explain exactly how this magical transformation is to come about. They just type a lot about the magical imaginary results. If 30+ years of HIV hasn’t accomplished Gaytopia, good luck accomplishing it with your keyboard, King Canute.

      Apparently all the young horny guys are suddenly going to start reading your Queerty comments and see the light?

      Everyone posting here, of all differing viewpoints, would like to see HIV eradicated. That’s remarkable, considering how much we disagree with each other.

      But guess what will happen THEN, when HIV is finally eradicated? It won’t be a world where young gay guys are in monogamous barebacking relationships – that weird Gaytopia fantasy in your head. It will be a world where young gay guys are even more promiscuous than they already are!

      Jan 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Mike In Asheville,

      I don’t care about you. You sound like gas released from a helium balloon.

      Jan 3, 2012 at 6:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @jason: Better that than the utter shit spewing and spewng from your mouth!

      Jan 3, 2012 at 6:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @the other Greg: For someone who complains so much about my opinion regarding the need for the gay male community to evolve, you definitely don’t present better options. You simply bitch about it – how appropriate of you.

      You seem unable to process the idea that we gay men can evolve into people who focus less on sex and more on the value of long term monogamous relationships, by choice. You cannot bear the fact that when we assimilate the values of the larger culture we will find acceptance. The history of the USA proves this over and over via the success that thousands of immigrants have found in this country once they have assimilated the culture.

      With regards to your implication that I want to be a role model from behind a keyboard: I am sure that I have raised more money for HIV PREVENTION and have taught more guys about HIV PROTECTION than you ever will. I have done so since I was 18 in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York and that is why I am happy to contradict the messages that you put out here.

      Furthermore, I am not focused on barebacking, you are and you dislike my opinions because I AM NOT FORGIVING OF POZ GUYS WHO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITHOUT DISCLOSING THEIR STATUS. That is what really gets under your skin, well you know what, you entered the relationship you’re in by choice and your circumstances with regards to HIV might be acceptable to you but the fact is they are in no way desirable. I look forward to a world when there will be a cure for HIV and for it to become a thing of the past but in addition I look forward to a world where sex is not the most high profile topic in the gay community but just part of our lives. I say this having grown up in an atmosphere where there were positive gay roles models were almost non-esxitant because when I was growing up, many gay adult males where just dropping dead for about 12 years. Sex did not become important to me until I was 22 and yet I was around it since I was 16 but did not understand why so many men behaved with such desperation. That specific part of our culture, I believe can and should change and that can only happen with a COLLECTIVE effort from the gay male community to become better men.

      Lastly, the spirit in your comments is angry and nasty and unfortunately it elicits anger from me towards you as well. I find you so presumptuous as to want to tell you to F*CK OFF! In spite of that I have a greater need to correct you and fight your negativity and if that makes a difference to one gay guy, I am satisfied.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 6:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike UK
      Mike UK

      ANYONE who has bareback sex regardless of sexual orientation without advising the other person of their status has no morals, ANYONE who has bareback sex regardless of sexual orientation without knowing the status of said partner is a f**king idiot!

      Jan 4, 2012 at 7:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      >No. 103 · Almanza – I could’nt have stated it better. I, too, grew up in the 70’s and 80’s knowing something was amiss. I think what saved me from this horrible disease was I was not willing to go to bed with evryone I met. I was told I had “too high morals, values and standards” to be gay. Well, today I am proud of those people and family members who bestowed those beliefs in me. I was not “lucky”, I thought things through B4 I made any moves. Yes, there were times I wanted to “go all the way” but, I knew/thought about the consequenses B4 I did. I’m no better than anyone else on here, I’m just better off with the decisions I made/make. And no, my parner does not need a metal for putting up with me. (as someone previously blogged.)We love each other and have for going on 17 years. That does not deserve a metal, THAT deserves to be treated as being a responsible ADULT and owning up to eachs own decisions. You can truly see who the adults are here by their postings. I may be gay but I’m NOT *GaY~ SB

      Jan 4, 2012 at 7:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Mike in Asheville,

      I will have you to know that I am widely read and respected. What are you respected for? Flapping wings?

      Jan 4, 2012 at 9:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Scott Bonzitski: How amusing, a “Ph.D.” who misspells “medal” three times in one short post.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 10:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: Relationships happen naturally by themselves; they don’t really need all this cheerleading from you.

      Where did I say I was in favor of poz guys NOT disclosing? I never said that, you made it up. Yes, poz guys should disclose. What does that have to do with your relationship obsession?

      You write as if you see evil forces at work in gay life to actively discourage relationships. Well this MAY have been true back in the 1970s, before your time & mine, but it is certainly not the case now.

      Nowadays in fact, the pressure is all entirely the other way. Now there is tremendous pressure for gay guys to get into relationships. Using your own math, guys who are not in relationships are considered losers (age 30-40) or pariahs (over 40). This attitude promotes HIV & STI’s among these older age groups.

      And again, you’re a hypocrite. When you were young you had sex with every “type” (!) of man you ever wanted, you said so yourself, but NOW when you’re 40+ you’re in a relationship. Are the young guys in their 20s impressed, who you encounter, when you explain this to them? Go ahead and ask them. Listen for the scoffing and derision as you walk away.

      I agree with you, of course, that avoiding HIV and STI’s tends to be a very nice *ancillary* benefit of any committed and/or monogamous relationship. (Believe it or not, the world can figure this out without your help.)

      But if a guy’s *primary* reason for a relationship is to avoid HIV and STI’s, the relationship is likely to be a fractious one and not last long. When they break up, both parties may be at greater risk of reckless behavior and infection (at least for awhile) than they were before.

      “That specific part of our culture,” [i.e., acting like perfectly normal horny young men, which offends and horrifies you] “I believe can and should change and that can only happen with a COLLECTIVE effort from the gay male community to become better men.”

      Again… HOW exactly is all this magical stuff going to happen? (Even if I were to agree with you that it’s part of “our culture” rather than basic male biology.)

      You survived your 20s by using condoms and not being too reckless. You didn’t survive your 20s by being in a relationship, or yearning for one 15-20 years in the future. Gee, that’s exactly my story also, go figure! We simply used condoms and avoided being too reckless. Isn’t that a little simpler than now remaking all of gay “culture” to look like… well, you?

      Young gay men generally don’t listen much to older guys. You didn’t, and I didn’t either. Anyway, you’re assuming there are cultural forces at work that simply don’t exist.

      There is ALREADY tremendous pressure to get into relationships, to look “normal,” to focus on marriage equality as the one and only gay rights issue that matters, to regard anyone with no relationship (unless they’re a porn actor!) or in the “wrong” kind of relationship as some kind of (unspecified) danger to gay society. What the fuck MORE do you want? :-) Can you be specific, instead of just pontificating about how something-or-other has to change in “gay culture”?

      Another thing about “Gaytopia” schemes: one more thing they all have in common is they all want to rearrange the entire gay world to look like the author’s own life. Well Almanza, this may come as a shock to you, but nobody under 30 really gives a shit about your life and your relationship. You’re just gonna have to get used to the fact.

      “You seem unable to process the idea that we gay men can evolve into people who focus less on sex and more on the value of long term monogamous relationships, by choice.”

      No, I’m well aware of that because I did it myself over time, just like you did – I just wasn’t BRAGGING about it like you are – and just like most regular guys with regular male hormones do, over time. It’s very funny that you really think that biology requires YOUR help to accomplish this.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 11:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @Mike UK: Nicely stated! Agree +100.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 12:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @jason: Oh puh-lease, that is like Rick Santorum talking about his gay friends who support him.

      It is a guilty pleasure of mine, and the others who also take you to task, to ridicule your ridiculous illogical “opinions”: all women exploit sex for socio-political gain, ie, they are whores; HIV does not cause AIDS; all men are bi — the gay onlys are afraid to admit they are also into women while straight onlys are afraid to admit they are also into men; porn is the root cause of all evil; it is a double standard that straight men can be into lesbian action but not male+male action, ad nauseum.

      The only ones here and on other blogs that support your opinions are your alter ego fake names, and even then, of the many voices in your dimwitted brain, disagree with you on so many fronts.

      My two favorite jasonisms: your moral outrage at promiscuous sex vs. you going to bathhouses/sex clubs AND your “the facts are on my side” vs. you never have any “facts” just your inane opinions.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      Greg, If u feel so kind to point out my”metal” mistakes, at least I can count only two medals not three. Lame…sb

      Jan 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @Scott Bonzitski: Thank you for your post. I think it’s just a matter of some of us wanting to have full equality under the law and a respectable place at the table with the full knowledge that respect is earned. Whereas, other members of our community (like the blithering idiot who thinks I want everyone to mirror my particular life and fails to see the irony of his behavior) feel the need to defend the teenage behavior that is so pervasive in adult gay males and thus makes many in the heterosexual world unable to respect our entire community as valuable members of society therefore, they deny us our rights.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 2:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      Yes, some ppl want to force their views while others take a more open minded stance. Bullies are so rampant these days. They only do it to try to make themselves feel better…sb

      Jan 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg: MY ANSWERS ARE BELOW AND I USED ALL CAPS TO MAKE IT EASIER TO DIFFERENTIATE THE TWO POINTS OF VIEW:

      Relationships happen naturally by themselves; they don’t really need all this cheerleading from you. ACTUALLY GAY RELATIONSHIPS NEED CHEERLEADING FROM ALL OF US! LOOK AT THE SUICIDE RATES IN YOUNG GAYS AND THE HIGH RATE OF HIV INFECTION AMONG GAY MALES 30 YEARS AFTER HIV WAS DISCOVERED.

      Where did I say I was in favor of poz guys NOT disclosing? I never said that, you made it up. Yes, poz guys should disclose. What does that have to do with your relationship obsession? YOU DID NOT SAY IT BUT YOU PRESENT A STANCE WHERE THE VICTIM OF AN HIV INFECTION IS EQUALLY AS GUILTY AS THE ONE’S WHO KNOW THEIR HIV+ AND I BELIVE THAT THEY ARE 51% MORE RESPONSIBLE BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DEALING WITH ALREADY.

      You write as if you see evil forces at work in gay life to actively discourage relationships. Well this MAY have been true back in the 1970s, before your time & mine, but it is certainly not the case now.
      Nowadays in fact, the pressure is all entirely the other way. Now there is tremendous pressure for gay guys to get into relationships. Using your own math, guys who are not in relationships are considered losers (age 30-40) or pariahs (over 40). YOU ARE CALLING THEM LOSERS NOT I.

      This attitude promotes HIV & STI’s among these older age groups. THIS HAS NO BASIS. EXACTLY HOW DOES PROMOTING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS PROMOTE HIV & STI’S?

      And again, you’re a hypocrite. When you were young you had sex with every “type” (!) of man you ever wanted, you said so yourself, but NOW when you’re 40+ you’re in a relationship. Are the young guys in their 20s impressed, who you encounter, when you explain this to them? Go ahead and ask them. Listen for the scoffing and derision as you walk away. WELL I CERTAINLY DON’T BRAGG TO THEM ABOUT MY PAST, INSTEAD I TELL THEM STORIES ABOUT CLOSE CALLS WHEN GUYS WOULD TRY TO PRESSURE ME INTO UNSAFE SEX AND HOW I LEARNED TO INDENTIFY GAYS WHO SLEEP AROUND AS A LIFESTYLE VS. GAYS WHO ARE LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP. THE BEHAVIORS ARE DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT BTW.

      I agree with you, of course, that avoiding HIV and STI’s tends to be a very nice *ancillary* benefit of any committed and/or monogamous relationship. (Believe it or not, the world can figure this out without your help.)
      But if a guy’s *primary* reason for a relationship is to avoid HIV and STI’s, the relationship is likely to be a fractious one and not last long. When they break up, both parties may be at greater risk of reckless behavior and infection (at least for awhile) than they were before. I DON’T BELIEVE GUYS SHOULD ENTER RELATIONSHIPS JUST TO PREVENT HIV INFECTION BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT HIV INFECTION AND THE BEHAVIOR THAT GETS A PERSON THERE SHOULD BE TREATED VERY SERIOUSLY. SUCH BEHAVIOR IS OFTEN PART OF AN M.O. THAT IS WHY MOST PEOPLE WHO CATCH HIV ARE NOT SURPRISED THEY HAVE IT.

      “That specific part of our culture,” [i.e., acting like perfectly normal horny young men, which offends and horrifies you] “I believe can and should change and that can only happen with a COLLECTIVE effort from the gay male community to become better men.” I ONY FIND THE HORNY BEHAVIOR INAPPROPRIATE IN MEN IN THEIR LATE 50S AND UP WHILE I FIND IT PERFECTLY NORMAL AND EVEN EXPECTED IN MEN UNDER 35.

      Again… HOW exactly is all this magical stuff going to happen? (Even if I were to agree with you that it’s part of “our culture” rather than basic male biology.) VIA SUPPORT FROM THE GAY COMMUNITY FOR IT’S MEMBERS WHO ARE TRYING TO LEAD A SETTLED, HEALTHY LIFE AND BY PROMOTING GAY GATHERING PLACES WHERE SEX IS NOT ON THE MAIN STAGE. WE CAN FOR EXAMPLE PROMOTE GATHERINGS AT RESTAURANTS, GALLERIES, FUNDRAISERS WHERE THE CONTENT IS MORE ENCOURAGING TO THE BUILDING OF GAY FAMILIES. I AM NOT IMPLYING THEY NEED CHILDREN FYI.

      You survived your 20s by using condoms and not being too reckless. You didn’t survive your 20s by being in a relationship, or yearning for one 15-20 years in the future. Gee, that’s exactly my story also, go figure! We simply used condoms and avoided being too reckless. Isn’t that a little simpler than now remaking all of gay “culture” to look like… well, you? ACTUALLY YOU’RE WRONG BUT I FEEL NO NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE AND YOU’RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.

      Young gay men generally don’t listen much to older guys. You didn’t, and I didn’t either. Anyway, you’re assuming there are cultural forces at work that simply don’t exist. THERE WERE VERY FEW OLDER GUYS WHO ONE COULD TRUST WHEN I WAS GROWING UP SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS STARTED A CONVERSATION BY HITTING ON ME AND SECONDLY BECAUSE I WAS SCARED TO DEATH OF CATCHING HIV AND THE BEHAVIORS THAT I BELIEVE LEAD TO SUCH AN EVENTUALITY. THAT SAID, I DID ACTUALLY LOOK FOR ROLE MODELS EVEN INTO MY EARLY 20S BUT OFTEN THEY WERE ALREADY HIV+ AND THAT SCARED ME AWAY FROM THEM.

      There is ALREADY tremendous pressure to get into relationships, to look “normal,” to focus on marriage equality as the one and only gay rights issue that matters, to regard anyone with no relationship (unless they’re a porn actor!) or in the “wrong” kind of relationship as some kind of (unspecified) danger to gay society. What the fuck MORE do you want? :-) Can you be specific, instead of just pontificating about how something-or-other has to change in “gay culture”? I DON’T SEE THAT PRESSURE THAT YOU SPEAK OF IN THE GAY COMMUNITY. JUST LOOK AT THE MAJORITY OF GAY MEDIA AND ESTABLISHMENTS WITH THEIR RELENTLESS FOCUS ON SEX. THE SPECIFIC EXAMPLES I MADE ARE RESTAURANTS, GALLERIES AND FUNDRAISING EVENTS AS GATHERING PLACES.

      Another thing about “Gaytopia” schemes: one more thing they all have in common is they all want to rearrange the entire gay world to look like the author’s own life. Well Almanza, this may come as a shock to you, but nobody under 30 really gives a shit about your life and your relationship. You’re just gonna have to get used to the fact. YOU KNOW YOU ALWAY JUMP TO PERSONAL ATTACKS AND THAT INSPIRES A NASTY RESPONSE FROM SO HERE IT IS: BY CONTRAST YOU THINK MANY GUYS WANT TO EMULATE YOU AND ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN HIV+ MAN?

      “You seem unable to process the idea that we gay men can evolve into people who focus less on sex and more on the value of long term monogamous relationships, by choice.”
      No, I’m well aware of that because I did it myself over time, just like you did – I just wasn’t BRAGGING about it like you are – and just like most regular guys with regular male hormones do, over time. It’s very funny that you really think that biology requires YOUR help to accomplish this. BIOLOGY GOT US TO LOOSE AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF GAYE MALES WHO DIED SLOW TRAGIC DEATHS AND ALL TO OFTEN ALONE.
      IN ADDITION, I AM NOT FINISHED EVOLVING, FOR ME IT IS AN ONGOING PROCESS AND I DO THINK YOUNG GAY MALES NEED MORE SUPPORT FROM ALL US IN THE GAY COMMUNITY, A L L O F U S. IF ONLY TO GET THEM TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE LIFE HAS TO OFFER WHEN YOU VENTURE OUTSIDE OF THE GAY GHETTO MENTALITY. I BELIEVE WE OWE IT TO OUR COMMUNITY TO BUILD INSTITUTIONS AND ORGANIZATIONS THAT FOSTER HEALTHY LIFESTYLES NOT JUST HIV, STD, HOMELESSNESS AND DRUG CRISIS RESPONSE CENTERS BECAUSE WHEN WE DO THAT WE SEND A MESSAGE THAT IF YOU ARE GAY AND WANT ATTENTION YOU HAVE TO F*CK UP FIRST AND THAT IS TERRIBLY UNHEALTHY. I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT AND IT IS NOT GAY UTOPIA, IT IS QUITE SIMPLY THE NEXT NATURAL STEP FOR US AS A COMMUNITY.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      The serophobia on this blog is just nauseating.
      There’s a bunch of self-righteous assholes going out of their way to blame people for catching a disease.
      And a bunch of self-righteous assholes boasting about their “superior” moral stance and their obvious superiority for not catching HIV.

      And of course, then there’s the ultimate asshole: Jason, but let’s not feed the troll.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      Some of us volunteer for HIV causes all the time and as such are constantly helping individuals that are HIV+ Positive. That does not mean we are blind to the fact that many HIV+ guys engage in unsafe sex regularly, with many sex partners and do not disclose their status. Do the math.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @MikeE: Yes, my partner and I are starting to feel like a Jew in Nazi Germany married to an “aryan.” I wonder what camp or leper colony these guys want to put us in (separately?).

      @scott bonzitski: I agree. You and Almanza should learn to stop forcing your views on others. But jeez, okay, okay, okay… give us your address; your medal will be in the mail shortly! :-)

      @Almanza: As long as single gay guys use condoms (and I’ll add, avoid meth), their behavior is really none of my fucking business. Nor yours.

      I am genuinely mystified why this proper attitude is so difficult for you. You act exactly like a busybody Christian who wants to patrol everyone else’s sex lives – just for different motives, which I find obviously self-serving and not at all impressive.

      Larry Kramer (for instance) for years told gay youth, in effect: “You guys should listen to ME ME ME… because I am HIV-positive and I am not in a relationship, boo hoo hoo” (which he wasn’t for a long time, maybe he is now finally). (I’m not slamming all of his HIV activism btw, merely his cloying advice to “gay youth.”)

      You say many of the exact same things, with exactly the opposite rationale for doing so: “You guys should listen to ME ME ME… because I’m HIV-NEGATIVE and I AM in a relationship.”

      What difference does it make? Just urge them to use condoms, and otherwise, mind your own business.

      I assure you that I am all in favor of restaurants, galleries and fundraising events as gay meeting places (although, how does a single guy meet anyone at a restaurant? – maybe a waiter?)… but these are things that tend to appeal to an older and already-coupled crowd, not a 20-something audience.

      Unlike you, my partner & I have never asked that anyone “emulate” us for our relationship. But maybe we should! Your offensive assumption that no one ever could or should do so, shows yet again where you’re coming from.

      Sero-discordant relationships are not really that terrifying – if one is a halfway sane person, which I realize rules out several here – or daunting, which was my main point in participating in this discussion.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: If you haven’t yet, please read Dan #80 for eloquent possible explanations for such behavior.

      If they are engaging in unsafe sex as bottoms only, they are a danger only to themselves (reinfection).

      I haven’t noticed ANYONE in this very long thread, defending the notion of anyone HIV+ engaging in unsafe sex as a top without disclosing. (You have mistakenly assumed that, though, and accused me of doing that.)

      Well, if a top has been diagnosed, has been on meds successfully for some time, AND USES A CONDOM for anal sex, the danger of infection is minuscule. Yes, still it would be wrong, I agree. But gee, don’t they teach you volunteers anything at that place?

      For such a know-it-all, you seem quite uneducated about it all.

      Maybe you should just do yourself a favor — obviously you despise HIV+ people and consider them degraded sluts and lowlifes, so maybe you should just stay away from them.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      >No. 118 · the other Greg · Member

      This will be my last entry on this subject seeing that all the “horseplay” it has involved has lead to an all out battle of the *G-aY=s~ since nothing is to be accomplished and I tend to utilize my energy in life for POZ OUTCOMES NOT POZ PPL.
      You may think that is so sad of me but, unless you were infected:

      A:) in the womb.
      B:) exposed through a transfusion
      C:) any other way BESIDES FAILURE TO PROTECT YOURSELF

      YOU HAVE NO EMPATHY FROM ME.

      Almanza has made MANY notable points and the 3 (yes, you know which ones you are)
      are just mad at the world mirroring the subject in this articule and will do ANYTHING to bring others down around you in order to make you feel “better”. SAD-SAD-SAD. I sleep well at night and have many people to whom look to me for guidance. YOU are the same people THEY are AFRAID of. You are NOT contributing to society except for spewing hatred, not only amongst your fellow man but, others. You have NO idea what maintaining a meaningful relationship with another loving human being is nor ever will be. THAT is the basis of all your hostility in your “written word(s).”

      You state “he said and he said and you said….it all goes around in circles with no open minded questions. Are you on disability because the Government states that someone HIV+ cannot work. Don’t try to fool me. I have SEEN the same in people and they are truly capable of working. They just utilize the “I’m a VICTIM” card. Pathetic indeed!!! It appears you are online all the time. Do you all not work nor have better things to do?

      You are correct when you state that “maybe you should just stay away from them.”

      THAT’S my intentions that I have have all along these past 40+ years and I am doing FINE.

      I did not succumb to the desires of the flesh. I “chose” to keep my body wholesome/clean and “pure”. No one can make you “eat” something if you don’t want too. No one can force you to jump in front of a speeding bus unless YOU want to. Do you have the state of mind to see where I’m going with this? Yes? No? I truly feel sorry for u if not. (but, it will past. Believe me.) If you cannot relate to that due to your own failings, it is (as you stated) NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Go ahead and state that I have no heart. I DO for the ones who look for the help they need to LIVE through what others “shared” with them.

      PS: I do not need your “medal”. It is tarnished be on receiving. I bid u adeiu. TRY to have a better attitude in life and maybe, just MAYBE you can redeem yourself as a human. You don’t get my goat. You don’t even concern me. These are the facts and you “CHOOSE” to “LIVE” with them ~or~ NOT…………….Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I am a good person”. Can YOU do THAT?

      Jan 4, 2012 at 7:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      I will never stop fighting for gay causes and the gay community will always be my business because I am part of it.

      I follow this particular thread because I find it very important to put different messages than “don’t worry about it if it doesn’t affect you personally.” Quite frankly I am concerned for the gay community and our future and since some of you cannot imagine being concerned with anyone else, you find it shocking. Well, you should know that you make a perfect argument for my beliefs. We don’t have strong leadership in the gay male community precisely because the voices of people such as: the other Gregg, MikeE etc.

      Such men just think/expect rights will be easily handed to us by others, they refuse to engage in the fight for progress within the gay community, they refuse to change ANY behaviors even if they prove toxic to themselves, they just want to be able to do whatever they want and tough sh*t if other people don’t like it and chief among their desires is a need to not be held accountable or responsible for their actions and to by extension, the gay male community’s actions. In short, they will never be willing to step up and care for their extended family (the gay community) and that renders them VERY PATHETIC & DANGEROUS MEN.

      To all of them I say: Pick up some history books, read about great men and then maybe you’ll realize that being a homosexual is not an excuse to be less of man.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Scott Bonzitski: What a strange rant. As I’ve stated several times, I’m in a long-time, very happy, sero-discordant relationship. And I’ve been coy about it: just for fun, I’ve avoided saying here if I’m the neg or poz one. (My boyfriend has read all this stuff and thinks smart people can guess!) I consider us a team so I’m on his side no matter what and vice versa.

      Where did you get the idea “the Government states that someone HIV+ cannot work”? That’s not true. I don’t know the percentage offhand but I’d guess that most poz people work now. A diagnosis of HIV alone is NOT sufficient nowadays to get on SSDI, since the government DOES NOT CONSIDER HIV ALONE TO BE LIFE-THREATENING. One would have to have serious complications. And even if someone is on SSDI, they are allowed to work up to $1000 per month part-time under the SocSec reform passed in about 1996 by the Gingrich congress and signed by President Clinton.

      I would be all in favor of you staying away from HIV+ people, but how are you going to do that when you have already told us you have HIV+ “patients”? Did you make that up? Did you forget you told us that? :-) … Well, sure, if you do indeed have poz “patients,” by all means give them up and stay away from them in the future. I’m sure they will appreciate it.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: As I said, I’ve noticed these Gaytopia plans like yours since the ’80s, and they never give much detail. They go on and on about how defective and awful Gay Culture is, which seems in itself, a very self-hating-homophobic notion. You can’t really say on the one hand, that gay guys are basically wonderful, and on the other hand, mysteriously we keep ending up with this horrible awful Gay Culture and you hate everything about it. That is, you can’t really say that without sounding a little self-hating-homophobic.

      Even more mysteriously, since the ’80s… Gaytopia never gets any closer, and Gay Culture never changes much. Go figure! Well, now we have Lady Gaga instead of Madonna. Not sure if that is an improvement or not.

      At any rate, your contention is it can all be fixed now if only we all listen to and bow down to YOU YOU YOU, one of the self-appointed LEADERS of the Gay Community! Because, you know, you have a boyfriend and everything. (Gee, at least Scott B. has a Ph.D.!)

      Very well… therefore I asked you Dear Leader to provide a little detail about the “how” of your fuzzy scheme. You kindly mentioned: restaurants, galleries, and fundraising events. Uh… I THINK all those things exist to some extent already, but very well. I certainly like and approve of all those things!

      Unless you have any other details to report about your Master Plan to Revamp Gay Culture, I guess I don’t disagree. If you come up with anything else, do let us know, Dear Leader!

      Jan 4, 2012 at 9:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg: I don’t hate gay culture, I just think that the some aspects of it need to evolve. And once again you’re wrong. I can dislike some aspects of gay culture without sounding like a hypocrite or are you trying to imply that all is perfect in the gay world and if one has a problem with some aspects of it, then by default you’re self-hating!?

      If so, you are even more of an idiot than I though. Again, not surprising since you are not out here working for change and more rights. You think nothing has changed since they 1980s? How about DADT has been repealed, some states allow gay marriage (THOSE ARE HUGE STEPS that are only undermined by the morons in our community who fail to realize that marriage in the USA is a legal right and not a religious one) ,in California schools will begin teaching about gays’ contribution to society etc. Strangely enough you are attempting to have a laugh at the expense of Lady Gaga yet, she can sit down with the current POTUS and talk about anti-bullying guidelines, something which would have never happened in the 1980s Regan/Bush years. SO YEAH, THOSE ARE ALL IMPROVEMENTS YOU IGNORANT.

      Once again, and this time try and have someone else explain it to you, WE NEED MANY LEADERS NOT ONE, WINNING OUR RIGHTS IS A HUGE WAR NOT ONE BATTLE THAT CAN BE WON BY ONE LEADER OR ONE GROUP. WE NEED A SHIFT IN THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS OF GAY MEN IN THE USA.

      I don’t actually know Scott B but your desperate appeals to try and get me to divulge my personal information and strategy for change will continue to be unsuccessful because you are obviously not on our team and the people who support our causes are already donating their time and money. And happily, you can’t stop change.

      Jan 4, 2012 at 11:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #3 using similar name]

      @Scott Bonzitski: “YOU HAVE NO EMPATHY FROM ME.”

      Really? Really? Seriously? Get off your high horse. The complex epidemiology of this virus has been explained so so many times on here I’m increasingly convinced your lack of empathy is not a result of serophobia, but mental retardation. Condoms break, slide off, or are removed by callous partners. People are infected by cheating partners. Sometimes, people just make a simple mistake.

      “Don’t try to fool me. I have SEEN the same in people and they are truly capable of working. They just utilize the “I’m a VICTIM” card. Pathetic indeed!!!”–I don’t know who you’re babbling at or about. No, I’m not on disability. NONE of the people I’ve known with HIV are on disability. I’ve no doubt the other Greg isn’t on disability either. Honestly, unless you got grandfathered in from the days before HAART, or you’ve experienced such extreme complications of the virus that you’re practically dead, HIV doesn’t qualify you for disability. You may be confused, as it is covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, but that’s a very different thing. I don’t know who or what you think you’ve seen, but its not reality. I’m a salesman. I’m slowly working on an MBA. I have an overstated title that uses the word “consultant”. I don’t think I’ve worked less than a 40 hour week in the last three years. I have my own office, and a fraction of a secretary. I’m not telling you this to cop the “i’m so professional” line that so many gay men pull when they want to feel important, but to show you that this virus happens to EVERYONE, not just scum buckets, disability queens and losers. Compared to the people I know with HIV, I’m pretty much a slacker. I’ve personally known people who’ve earned PhDs in legitimate science…not “physiology”, a field which you claim you’ve entered that allows you to see “patients”. They do impossibly complex research that is so far beyond me I can barely understand the words they publish. I’ve known people who’ve gone through medical school-and even residency-while poz. These are poz people, and they are doing poz things. Its not something I’d choose to endure, but they’re clearly not “enjoying their illness” or planning for a life riding the dis’bility gravy train. They’re productive members of society making the most of their lives.

      “It appears you are online all the time. Do you all not work nor have better things to do”—the same could be said about you.

      “(you) have many people to whom look to me for guidance”—I bet they’re not writers.

      “I did not succumb to the desires of the flesh”, ” I “chose” to keep my body wholesome/clean and “pure”.”—Who the F*** are you? Mother Mary Purity? “desires of the flesh”? Seriously? What are you, some kind of medieval priest?

      ” You don’t even concern me”—Oh, clearly. That’s why you’ve spent the last 20 minutes on a soap box about your “purity”, ranting about how you don’t need a “medal” that is “tarnished”. You’re obviously as cool a a cucumber.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 3:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #2 using similar name]

      @Almanza: Please, stop volunteering for “HIV causes”! The World of HIV Support and Activism doesn’t need more sanctimonious seronegatives who force themselves to smile and say “you’re going to be ok” with less sincerity than a prostitute. We don’t need the feeling that someone is “doing the math” any more than negative gay men need to feel judged by straight people. Really, that quote exemplifies pretty much everything that is wrong with mainstream HIV “support”.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 3:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      Medical College of Wisconsin (US)
      – The Department of Physiology at the Medical College of Wisconsin is one of the top research and training departments in the country.
      – Graduates of the PhD program in Physiology are trained for integrative physiology that includes whole animal, cellular, and molecular research.
      – MCW is internationally known for its cutting edge research programs. In the federal government’s FY 2009, the College received $110 million in NIH funding and ranked 43rd among the nation’s 131 medical schools for NIH research funding.

      Nuf’ said.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 6:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #4 using similar name]

      …? Your point is? You still haven’t explained why it is that, as a “physiologist”, you’ve dispensed with the tradition of calling your patients “subjects”. PhDs do not have “patients”. Patients are people who undergo medical care. You do not provide medical care. You research. The fact that these subjects may also be patients at the medical college is immaterial, as they are not YOUR patients. If you’d actually completed a phd, or even an associate’s degree of nursing, you would know the difference. Perhaps you meant “exercise physiology”, a field that does provide medical care, and thus employs the convention of using the term “patients”? But then, you would have just posted an explanation of what an exercise physiologist does, rather than this bizarre quote. Actually, if you’d just taken the time to google the subject, you’d have figured it out yourself. As it stands, you have a medical school’s rather awkward self promotion of its physiology department, as you think the word “medical” alone hanging above someone’s business card is sufficient to employ the term patient.

      The really sad thing is that I checked with a phd…a REAL phd..with HIV…at a more highly regarded medical school than the one you’ve posted about…and he confirmed the difference, and told me to spend less time talking to trolls.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 9:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: Gay culture and gay politics are two very different things. And you’ve been trying to get me to divulge personal information too. My partner and I of course do much in real life to advance our view of how things should be; our slightly difficult situation naturally impels us to action.

      Queerty member “Storm” wrote the following on the more recent George Michael story, and I hope he won’t mind my quoting him here:

      “In the black communities there used to be an admonition: ‘You have to be a credit to your race,’ or ‘You ARE a credit to your race.’ Meaning, you acted in a manner acceptable to the white fokes. It became a vile insult. Now, when I hear one gay man say to another, ‘You’re giving ammunition to our enemies!’ I hear the same thing: act straight and be ‘acceptable.’ It’s the same admonition — be a credit to your (gay) race so those other folks will accept us. It’s still a vile insult.”

      Okay, you have a husband who you feel safe getting your dick shitty with. I’m sure the straights will all be impressed at that. You are a credit to the gay race!

      Jan 5, 2012 at 12:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg:

      your words: “Okay, you have a husband who you feel safe getting your dick shitty with. I’m sure the straights will all be impressed at that.”

      so you were saying what about self-hate? Moron.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @Dan:

      No. What the world doesn’t need more of is HIV+ people! We should be trying to get rid of the disease. In any case, you fail to recognize that my focus is the prevention of HIV and not the maintenance of HIV. In other words, I am not generally addressing you, but preventing people from ending up in your situation.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Dan: Thank you for picking up the sword again. Yes, you guess correctly, we are working, and most of the poz friends and acquaintances we could think of are working. We seem to run with a more blue-collar bunch too, i.e. some of the jobs are surprisingly physical.

      So Scott raised (inadvertently) an important point: Social Security does NOT consider an HIV diagnosis, by itself, to be enough to qualify for disability. This fact probably shocks some of the moralizing barebackers here, if they’re still reading.

      Scott in #119 declared to me “This will be my last entry on this subject” so I was eager to see what else he would have to say. “I did not succumb to the desires of the flesh”, ” I “chose” to keep my body wholesome/clean and “pure”… well I get this troubling image of his boyfriend of “going on 17 years” fucking him with a crucifix… without a condom of course!

      Jan 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: The cause of HIV infection in gay men is, almost always, anal sex without a condom.

      It’s not caused by lack of attention to relationships. Relationships get plenty of obsessive, morbid attention in gay life already. At any rate, they happen on their own, generally when gay guys are older than 30, as in both your case and mine.

      i am not the one who wants to rearrange all of young gay guys’ ordinary sex drives into something artificial that (coincidentally) resembles my own life, at a much later date. Um, that would be YOU.

      I merely urge young men – both in my real life and my writing – to avoid barebacking. It’s a simple message. It worked in the ’80s, it worked for me and even for you (whatever other silly nonsense you believed), and it’ll work today.

      Who’s more effective in preventing HIV infection, you or me? I am.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      I still say (going BACK to the ORIGINAL ARTICLE) that ALOT of POZ men just want to bring others down to their level. Be it physical, mental (as such this whole blog is rendered towards) and spiritually. Yes, thanks Dan “for picking up the sword again.” as Greg puts it. That ONLY displays that you are bullies and cannot fathom that someone else with more intelligence has the last word. You do not know the true meaning of life for you see, you’re only out for yourselves by disecting each blogger and putting your own spin on things. My lover/partner have a GRAND selection of cruicfixs’. The only problem with that is you are so b-o-r-i-n-g. I only type this in my spare time to get my kicks by manipulating you. There’s not much in the form of entertainment on TV so, I come to “visit” you 3. Love it!~ See how it’s done. BUAHAWHAWHAH! Now the “Balls” in your court. Don’t drop it here. I’m w-a-i-t-i-n-g…Ha-Ha inbeciles…”GAL”…Gosh this is FUN!……………..Scotty B.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      WHAT? no replies yet? Someone spoke of Karma…BRING IT ON! Wimps. Maybe you need to consult a dictionary to format your “comeback”. Do you give up now? YOU started it, NOW lets’ finish it. “O’ I have to medicate first B4 I respond” HA!………………….SB

      Jan 5, 2012 at 6:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      Just as I thought. Hide behind the computer when you can’t function in REAL life. Pathetic. Yes I have a Phd and it is to help the ones you all infected by trying to release them from their horrible disease you GAVE them. I do have patients and they are desperate to find a cure. Not like you. SAD-SAD-SAD day in the life [when the minority of] POZ ppl like you reflect hate upon others. Want me to stop here? Sorry, you asked for it, now you are paying the price. Come on now, has your sword(s) got rusty ~or~ WHAT. (You might as well take the what knowing you are in a situation OTHERS are trying to figure a way out of…SB

      Jan 5, 2012 at 7:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @the other Greg: I always tell guys not to bareback and to use a condom. The real difference between you and I is that I also want gay males to learn to develop an appreciation for A WELL ROUNDED LIFESTYLE, THAT DOESN’T INCLUDE DRUGS AND INDISCRIMINATE SEX FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. The reason I think this very important is because it is something that has to be taught early on, otherwise once a whorish lifestyle has been established in adult life, it is a very difficult cycle to break. There is always someone better looking, with a better body, younger, richer etc. etc. and if you take the time to listen to your older friends that are single, you will observe that as we age, we become more cynical, less willing to compromise, more complicated and therefore, less attractive not just physically as is the natural process of ageing but also mentally and emotionally so much so that many in our community arrive at a place where they lack the skills to compromise, no appreciation for romance and of course, end up alone. And don’t give me this bullshit that it’s fine. When you’re at the top of a hill overlooking the ocean in your expensive hotel suite, you don’t f*ckin’ want to be alone! No one chooses to be alone, they resign themselves to it. And that is invariably a very sad life and one you think is a desirable choice and there YOU ARE WRONG.

      You seem very strongly anti-relationship, why that is? I don’t know but it is clear that you would come across as a bitter queen, who values sex greatly yet doesn’t like fucking which is at the heart of the gay male experience in terms of sex. it is the only experience that can naturally be fulfilled by a male for another male.

      All of that is what leads me to believe that you are yet another bad role model, in terms of the big picture BUT WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU GOT IT DOWN: WHEN HAVING ANAL SEX – ALWAYS USE A CONDOM. I couldn’t agree with you more on that, it is very important when having sex with various sex partners. Now, what about the rest of a gay man’s life? You have nothing to contribute in that regard, funny that.

      Jan 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @Scott Bonzitski: These type of guys can’t believe in anything and there is a song for such people to: Stupid Girl by the band Garbage. Lyrics below:

      You pretend you’re high
      Pretend you’re bored
      Pretend you’re anything
      Just to be adored
      And what you need
      Is what you get

      Don’t believe in fear
      Don’t believe in faith
      Don’t believe in anything
      That you can’t break

      You stupid girl
      You stupid girl
      All you had you wasted
      All you had you wasted

      What drives you on
      Can drive you mad
      A million lies to sell yourself
      Is all you ever had

      Don’t believe in love
      Don’t believe in hate
      Don’t belive in anything
      That you can’t waste

      You stupid girl
      You stupid girl
      Can’t believe you fake it
      Can’t believe you fake it

      Don’t believe in fear
      Don’t believe in pain
      Don’t believe in anyone
      That you can’t tame

      You stupid girl
      You stupid girl
      All you had you wasted
      All you had you wasted
      You stupid girl
      You stupid girl
      Can’t believe you fake it
      Can’t believe you fake it

      Jan 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #3 using similar name]

      Almanza, we’ll just have to wait and see who will be here in 20 years and have contributed their knowledge to the survival of the human race. Hope to see you there.
      Gay ppl are no different than any other groups. Be it white, black, str8, gay, bi, tv, ts, fat, thin, demo, Repub. etc. There will always be a broad spectrum of ones with HOPE while others will continue to bestow fear and hate. Ppl can get help if they seek it but, breaking through the self pity wall to achieve a better life is only a decision one can make for themselves. Gay ppl are so stuck on the youth some never want, or will grow old together. Yes, it is sad. Scott

      Jan 6, 2012 at 10:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: I have mentioned to you over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over that I’ve been in a long-term RELATIONSHIP for several years so I don’t know why you misinterpret that as I’m being “anti-relationship”!

      (Does a barebacking obsession damage reading comprehension? And you call me stupid?)

      It’s key to what I’ve been saying all along here: We are in a long-term, sero-discordant relationship. If one of us had rejected the poz one for being poz – as you say you advise young guys to do – it would have been the other one’s loss. So you are the one, in such a case, being cynical and rejecting relationships.

      I have also said several times, over and over, that relationships happen fairly naturally on their own. Yes, often when a guy gets a little older, 30s, even 40s, as happened with BOTH YOU AND ME, as I’ve said several times.

      Or to put it more romantically – LOVE happens spontaneously on its own.

      How this makes me “anti-relationship” is a mystery since you are the one who thinks relationships are all so incredibly hard to do that they need YOUR help and a total revamping of “gay culture” in order to for anyone to accomplish (even though you somehow managed it anyway, and even I did despite my supposedly hating relationships, go figure).

      And when I asked the simple question, how exactly would you like to make these changes to “gay culture,” what exactly would you like to DO (as opposed to just bitching about it), you got pissed off and accused me of fishing for your “personal information.”

      Apparently you have a SECRET PLAN for making cultural changes, which would be dangerous for you to disclose here on Queerty comments! Seems to me this would be the ideal place to start telling people, if you really had any answer to the question, and if you really believe that most people, especially younger people, agree with you.

      Apparently you think, relationships are absolutely impossible to find after one reaches, what, 45? (all totally new stuff you’ve never brought up before)… well we’ve met several couples who met in their late 40s, 50s, even 60s, so as usual you don’t know what you’re talking about.

      Sure, we’ve known guys who sort of fit your description of a “bitter old queen,” who has lost track of how to do anything, etc. I don’t disagree, necessarily, with what you say in that description; however, you imply that such a guy’s problems are cultural which I find very dubious. At some point almost everyone TRIES a relationship, usually more than once, even with the “gay culture” as it is. Maybe the “bitter old queen”‘s problems come from gay culture obsessing about relationships a little TOO much and in the wrong way!

      Gay guys had relationships even in the 1970s – that may come as a shock to you- we’ve talked to older people a lot, and it’s quite a misconception that the pre-AIDS time was all indiscriminate fucking around, there was more of it but that doesn’t mean there were NO relationships.

      You seem to be defining a very narrow window of time where a guy can find a stable relationship. Again, look at your own case: you fucked around in your 20s, apparently started seriously looking in your 30s, found someone around 40. What if you hadn’t found your current partner, would you have ended up a “bitter old queen” at 50? That seems to be what you’re implying. Or are you unique? How come you are the only one who wasn’t affected by this mysteriously evil “gay culture” and now it’s your job to change it?

      At any rate, “going back to the original article” (as Scott put it), none of this has anything really to do with preventing HIV. I think you and I both agree that young guys in their 20s are horny, are going to a lot of screwing around, are generally not YET ready for (or particularly all that interested in) relationships, YET, and therefore they need to keep to the condom routine for the time being.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 10:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg's boyfriend
      Greg's boyfriend

      I ‘m “the other” Greg’s boyfriend and have read all the comments, don’t usually read the site unless he points out something funny, but this is not funny.

      I just wanted too add one thing, I think Alamanza has probably CAUSED a few cases of HIV infection if he is talking about bareback relationships the way he says, some young guy will hear that & meet someone & “fall in love” after 2 weeks & want to bareback. probably happened already.

      I think Greg made a mistake earlier when he said, if two HIV neg guys meet & after awhile they want to bareback, yes but Greg left out that they should get tested AGAIN and make sure, before doing that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Scott sound crazy he is making it up!

      Anyway not all gay guys like fucking too much, OK if you are obsessed with it but I think oral sex is the big thing for most guys in my experience!

      Jan 6, 2012 at 10:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark
      Mark

      What this person did was unthinkable. But bear in mind that these people should of known about hiv contact. They opened themself to hiv base on word of a stranger’s secret. Now, they have to face the aids virus everyday of their life. These days, you can’t trust anyone including your partner. As you know, the government wants to cut back on medical and drugs for hiv and other diseases. Bottom line, trust knowone.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @ The Gregg’s. I agree with everything you are both saying about the importance of safe sex. And, I am constantly reminding guys about it, constantly.

      I think you both seem to have misunderstood what I meant about having sex without a condom. I meant it strictly in the context of a long term, monogamous relationship. We should all be able to aspire to have a monogamous, long term mate that we can engage is sex/lovemaking without a condom. I don’t know how much more clear I can be. It should be a goal, to stay HIV Negative to be able to arrive at a romantic partnership where one can settle down and have sex without a condom with only that monogamous partner. If your response is that, monogamy is difficult and/or not desirable then I would say that open relationships are a lot more difficult and dangerous to navigate, for the very same reasons.

      Furthermore, I think you both agree that even today, we gay males grow up being rejected by society at large. As a consequence many go underground when they first realize they’re gay and implement a variety of defense mechanisms in order to be who they are. Because we are not free to walk down just any street holding hands, kissing our partner and because we still get beat up, harassed and discriminated against, all too often these mechanisms turn into internalized homophobia. This internalized homophobia reduces our otherwise normal and pleasurable search for romance/love into a transaction oriented search which in and of itself is dehumanizing. Just have a look a what the expectations on most hook up websites, they are not about a full person, they tend to be only about physical attributes and for many that leaves them feeling like they are only as good as their body parts and they come to define themselves that way, thereby entering that cycle of a value system which is completely unrealistic. One only has to speak with any group of gay males to see it, I am not conservative at all yet I think it’s very important that we older gay males set up some sort of guidelines for ourselves. OF COURSE, THERE WILL BE EXCEPTIONS. I am not saying that everyone has to feel like we live in a gay police state but right now the way our community behaves, we still come across like a bunch of old teenagers who seem to have an extremely high focus on sex and not a whole lot more to contribute to our culture.

      I realize this has never be uniform across the gay male community and of course, I realize some people have been having good gay relationships for a long time. That said, when you consider our super high numbers of HIV Infection and the value system we have created as a community, it is impossible to believe that we are providing enough emotional support and resources to the younger generations. In NYC alone, ten years after AIDS was discovered, there was a second huge wave of deaths around the early 1990s and that happened in part because even though some of us reacted to the crisis right away, many still kept on behaving dangerously and becoming infected with HIV and not telling their sex partners – that particular story is one I have heard all of my life. Today, gay men still become infected at an alarming rate. I believe, this is in part because we have not changed the sex-focussed culture enough to make room to accept and celebrate our homosexuality in other ways. Those ways, are to be found via creating structure for our lives and yes, by design when you create a structure there are rules and for too long the gay male community has been rebelling against any rules and I think it’s time we recognized just how much that is to the detriment of our advancement and acceptance in the world.

      Lastly, the reason I mentioned restaurants, galleries and fundraisers is not because they are new. It is precisely because they already exist and all we have to do is suggest it to our friends as a gathering place in lieu of a bar the next time we go out and that in itself will have a huge effect. When you change the situation you change the result.

      I am not saying we have to close down bars or never go to a bar, I am just saying we can benefit from a less sexualized environment and take the time to treat each other more like people instead of sex objects.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #2 using similar name]

      @Almanza: “we gay males grow up being rejected by society” at large”…

      …”because we’re not free to walk down the street holding hands”…

      *** Part of what is nauseating about this site and gays like yourself is how ya’ll play the discrimination card, while offhandedly putting down others. You’re victims who victimize, and never see the irony. Its not just people with HIV that get slammed, its people of color, women, people who aren’t educated or affluent and anyone whose opinion differs from the gay party line. This site cries about discrimination at every chance it gets, and then turns around an reprints this story. Mark my words, Ebony magazine will NOT be reprinting this story, even though it is about as relevant to black people as it is to gay people. There is a reason Ebony won’t be reprinting this story: Their editorial board and readership isn’t composed of sanctimonious hypocrites.

      “No. What the world doesn’t need more of is HIV+ people! We should be trying to get rid of the disease. In any case, you fail to recognize that my focus is the prevention of HIV and not the maintenance of HIV. In other words, I am not generally addressing you, but preventing people from ending up in your situation”…

      …”whorish lifestyle”…

      …”That does not mean we are blind to the fact that many HIV+ guys engage in unsafe sex regularly, with many sex partners and do not disclose their status”…

      ***In no other context on earth would someone who perceives themself an activist or a health advocate feel so comfortable with the utilization of blatantly exclusive, divisive, moralistic language. Anti-smoking advocates would never casually let it be known that they’re not concerned about the “maintenance of cancer”. They would never conflate the people and the disease while proclaiming that they’re comfortable leaving the victims for dead. In no other modern health context would someone who dares consider themself a prevention advocate put down those for whom prevention has failed. Yours truly is a testament to how the line between “prevention” and serophobia is increasingly blurred in the gay community.

      I hope that everyone who reads this can see how increasingly rabid and trollish most of the serophobes on here are. Scott’s desperate tantrum show’s the ugly truth behind the snarky comments.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 2:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @Dan: So basically, you think that in order to be an activist one has to be engaged in the fight for all rights, yes. That sounds a bit idealistic to me and certainly ineffective. Nevermind that I am not a woman, of color or HIV Positive. Don’ t you think that women’s rights are best understood by women, the plight of the black community is best understood by blacks and last but not least, there are many groups who work for HIV Positive people’s rights and I have back in the late 1980s and through the 1990s put my time in Groups such as Act-UP, Stop Aids Project and GMHC. I have spent time at all these group meetings and have changed my mind because when I was concerned with HIV prevention in NYC and support services for young gays, the NYC group that I was with was focused on the AIDS crisis in Africa not NYC. That made me realize that it would be more effective for me to focus on the things that I care about and I specifically care and relate to the experience of being harassed and beat up while I was growing up and I can relate to being scared shitless of HIV. I cannot however, relate as much to being black, a woman or HIV Positive. I am one person and if you feel that I am not doing enough for the things you care about, then I suggest you do it yourself. It is quite fulfilling actually.

      Also, FYI every community is guilty of victimizing other groups, the magazine you mentioned might not be guilty of this and I applaud them for that but when two female friends, who were straight and I got jumped when I was 15 years old, it was by a group of 6 black guys and I am sure you are familiar with the religious black community and their stance on homosexuality. That is reality, we might not like it but it remains.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 6:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tackle
      Tackle

      The reality is that the religious white communities stance on homosexuality is no different then that so-called religious blacks. Cosidering that in 2008,

      The Catholic Church, over 90% white:
      The Church Of Scientology, over 95% white:
      The Mormon Church, over 97% white:
      Evangelical Christians, over 90% white:
      Southern Baptist, over 67% white:

      All spent millions upon millions to defeat prop-8 and are anti GLBT.
      And that is a reality.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Almanza: I believe you mean well, and it took awhile for me to be convinced on that. But again, I’ve read things like this since the ’80s and they’re always ostensibly “about” HIV but really about other things in gay life that annoy the author. You seem enamored of an upper-middle-class vision of gay culture, impractical on the larger scale.

      The yearning to run other people’s sex lives has always mystified me, and it’s apparently a little beyond the grasp of my imagination as I didn’t grow up very religious (and I was never a Catholic). Your Plan in that regard seems futile to me as you will not have the power of the church behind it, and you already admit a “gay sex police state” is impractical.

      As I said earlier, if two HIV-negative guys meet and choose to be monogamous – yes, after getting tested again, after a few months – that’s great, and as long as they are tested, I will have no reason to be nosy about their sex lives as it will be none of my business.

      If a young gay guy feels not ready yet for relationships, and uses condoms in anal sex, or finds he prefers acts other than anal sex – an important point that is NOT stressed enough, since what looks dramatic and hot on the porn screen doesn’t really appeal to everyone equally in real life! – I will urge him to get tested for HIV (and other STI’s) periodically, but aside from that I will have no reason to be nosy about his sex life as it will be none of my business.

      If a guy of any age is uninterested in relationships, and uses condoms in anal sex – or is uninterested in anal sex – I will urge him to get tested for HIV (and other STI’s) periodically, unless he is celibate, but aside from that I will have no reason to be nosy about his sex life as it will be none of my business.

      If a sero-discordant couple (like us) meet and choose to be monogamous (like us nowadays!), of course their monogamy per se would be irrelevant in terms of HIV prevention for the negative guy, they would need to be slightly careful anyway, but aside from that, I will have no reason to be nosy about their sex lives as it will be none of my business.

      If a poz couple meet and choose to be monogamous, of course they will still need to be slightly careful anyway, regarding divergent strains, unless they are totally uninterested in anal sex and only do other things, but aside from that, I will have no reason to be nosy about their sex lives as it will be none of my business.

      Aside from the public health issue of HIV, if I were to become otherwise nosy about any of these people’s sex lives, I would expect their response to me might be something along the lines of “Go fuck yourself”… which even without a condom, can certainly be classified as “safe sex”!

      Jan 7, 2012 at 11:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @Tackle: Agreed. I was and remain against all these organizations on the gay marriage front.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Dan: “That sounds a bit idealistic to me and certainly ineffective.”

      Ironic, isn’t it? :)

      Jan 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @the other Greg: Thanks, I am glad we are able to understand each other.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #2 using similar name]

      @Almanza: ” So basically, you think that in order to be an activist one has to be engaged in the fight for all rights”

      No, and it would be hard to misunderstand what I said as that. In case it actually needs repeating, what I said is that no other prevention group would feel comfortable leaving for dead those whom prevention has failed. No other prevention paradigm sets up health activism as a zero sum game. You are not the only person who has bought into this paradigm; the director of the CDC’s HIV prevention department actually stated that it was unfortunate that people with HIV were living longer, because they were causing more infections. This is literally not scientifically accurate, as the extra years are achieved through the administration of antiretroviral medications that almost completely eliminate infectiousness. In other words, the people who are living longer are not causing the infections, at least not during their “bonus years”. This truth is repeatedly borne out through statistical observations from other parts of the CDC and numerous other western governments. That a high ranking prevention official missed that message speaks of a SERIOUS problem people with HIV face, that those who claim they are “for” prevention are, more often than not, AGAINST people with HIV.

      To underscore the way that other prevention groups don’t position prevention as a zero sum game, I actually used the example of anti-smoking advocates who would never proclaim they “don’t care” about a cure for lung cancer, or conflate victims of cancer and the disease. Your words, and those of people like you, continually point to more than a dislike of the virus, but an actual hatred of people who have HIV. You can slather this pig in as much makeup as you like, but it’s still a pig, and you’re not the only poster on here who does this. This is repeatedly displayed in the way you choose to construct your sentences-for instance, “the world doesn’t need more HIV+ people”, when what the world doesn’t need is more HIV infections. The latter is a public health problem, the former are living people whose extermination you seem to be advocating.

      HIV is a disease. Its a nasty disease, but it is just a f***ing disease. When you say things like “I can relate to being scared shitless of HIV”, you allude to a greater issue, that you are more terrified of the label than you are the consequences of the virus. It is from this sort of claim that the leprosy analogy becomes most obvious. No one is “scared shitless” of Lou Gherigg’s disease, although that’ll screw you up far worse. I’ve no doubt that you’ll maintain that fear is an instrumental aspect of prevention, but that’s ridiculous. No one is “scared shitless” of lung cancer or alzheimers, even though those are related to lifestyle and can be prevented with an appropriate level of caution that doesn’t devolve into terror.

      You talk about being “scared and beat up”. Times have changed though. MOST gay youth don’t spend their childhood experiences living in terror. I just turned 30, and I can tell you that I was never once beat up, and never scared after I came out at 17. I grew up in a cornfield. My partner (coincidentally HIV- like the other Greg) grew up 800 miles away, came out when he was 14, and never suffered those consequence either. He grew up downwind of a steel mill. We both hail from extremely working class backgrounds. I think my greatest exposure to homophobia was shortly after I started my first “real” job, when I contacted my boss to address the need to fire one of my employees. He was a spoiled, stupid prettyboy who was rapidly promoted above his capacity, and he didn’t want to deal with a very messy situation. He called me a “faggot”. I’m fairly certain he was drunk. I handled the situation by going over his head and on with my life.

      Increasingly, I see gay youth coming out of high schools with entire cliques of gay friends, while being completely accepted by straight friends of both genders. The occasional stories we read about young gay boys being driven to suicide by bullying are heart rending, but for the most part these instances are overblown and largely more a result of teenage angst than they are society’s ingrained homophobia. Homophobia is dying. Hell, it is in a coma & on life support at this moment. Don’t ask Don’t tell is history. You can get married in a cornfield or a state founded by puritans. Homophobia is the domain of reactionary politicians who pander to the elderly and dwindling sects of religious nuts. Its passage will not be marked with a bang, but with a whimper, as the last of these coots finds themselves too demented to vote, or as the media recognizes their commercial irrellevance and ceases to validate their stupidity. For you to use your historical experience as a victim of gay bashing as a reason to indulge in your zero-sum worldview of disease prevention that itself needlessly victimizes people with HIV is as ridiculous as it would be for a jewish person to justify their people’s enslavement as justification for racism. Hearing your account of getting jumped by a homophobic black man is as irrellevant to me as that black man’s account of Jim Crow was to you, and its about as infuriating.

      I’ve never been jumped by a black man. My last three bosses have all been black, and have never once betrayed the slightest hint of homophobia. I have however been emotionally beat up, as every time I open up any gay publication I see phrases like “whorish” used to single out people who have the ONLY std I’m afflicted with. I’ve been compelled to indulge in self-destructive acts by a media that spins me as a walking corpse, then justifies the whole thing with antiquidated claims of homophobia and scientifically inaccurate, zero sum health prevention paradigms. To co-opt the verbage of queerty, you are no longer a “victim”, you have become the bully.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      @ >No. 147 · the other Greg

      The below references are made six (6) times during this blog towards Almanza:

      “I will have no reason to be nosy about their/(his) sex live(s) as it will be NONE OF MY BUSINESS.”

      Well, entry No. 132 · the other Greg · Member states:

      “well I get this troubling image of his boyfriend of “going on 17 years” fucking him with a crucifix… without a condom of course!”

      Posted: Jan 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm

      Nice to know that in the previous 6 (six) “not-so-hounorable mentions”, my partner and I are in a “free-for-all” and not off limits to his “carefully” written criticism. Greg, you just pointed out that you are a hypocrit. You can’t pick and choose the ppl you spew hate to and then turn around and state otherwise. Are you a politician ~or~ just can’t remember what you have written previously. Either way, in my field that makes you a liar. SB

      Jan 7, 2012 at 7:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @Dan: Interesting that you only choose t highlight what is convenient to your purposes of making me sound like an insensitive sob while in the process leaving out the fact that I have volunteered for years for HIV+ peoples cause and rights and have in the last few years decided to focus on young gays and HIV prevention. You can spin what I am saying as much as you want but it doesn’t change the fact that if you approach me in an aggressive way, I will respond in kind. My response about the world not needing more HIV+ people was exactly such a remark. If you don’t want curt answers then be more polite when you attack someone for having a different set of values than you. I believe you when you point out the institutionalized homophobia at the CDC and I think that’s unfortunate, yet you to pretend that people do not experience harassment and discrimination based on their homosexuality today. Whether you and your partner did or did not in your life is irrelevant and does not dismiss the fact that many people still experience it today.

      Last but not least, you brought into this dialogue the rights of other groups (blacks + women) and now you are implying that blacks never discriminate against others. WTF is wrong with you that you think anyone is so stupid as to believe that?

      Jan 7, 2012 at 8:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      Forget it and let it go Almanza, You can’t argue with close-minded, hate spewing individuals only stuck on their own thoughts/opinions. SB

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bruce
      bruce

      Bareback sex is completely natural and healthy. It won’t give you HIV or anything else if you are both healthy. The act itself doesn’t invent pathogens, bacterial or viral.

      I would encourage healthy people to have bareback sex with each other if that is what you wish. Don’t let the anti-bareback crowd discourage you.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @scott bonzitski: It wasn’t hypocritical at all, because I wasn’t being “nosy” about your sex life, it was a hot fantasy – albeit a degraded and shameful one! When a guy brags about how “pure and wholesome” he is, that’s SUCH a turn on!

      You know how slutty we are! Well I assume you do, since you and the other pure and wholesome guys have spent the last few days posting several dozen nasty, vicious, hateful comments about how slutty we are! We just can’t help ourselves!

      Besides, you already kind of admitted it was true: your original response to me was that sure, you and your boyfriend have a lot of crucifixes! So I took that to mean I’d guessed right! Aw, you’re changing your story now? You pure and wholesome types are such cock teases!

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Scott Bonzitski: “You can’t argue with close-minded, hate spewing individuals only stuck on their own thoughts/opinions.”

      Apparently not – you can only make fun of them and make them mad!

      I told you before, Scott, you’d really be happier over at the Advocate comments! They’d just love your gay Andy Ronney routine over there! “These damn HIV positive kids today! Get off my lawn! My PURE and WHOLESOME lawn!!!”

      Jan 7, 2012 at 10:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanza
      Almanza

      @Scott Bonzitski:

      Hi Scott,

      I just find it so irritating that some random guy thinks he can twist my words and to an extent my actions and attempt to turn me into some racist, elitist, woman hater. This “Dan” would have us believe that he has never met a dishonest poz gay guy who might have a drug addiction or a sex addiction and in this day and age, i find that very difficult to believe.

      I am extremely familiar with the trials that HIV+ people have to deal with and a lot of them deserve to live happy, healthy long lives. That does not negate that there are some very destructive guys out there that think nothing of having unsafe sex with many different partners and these very people tend to be the guys who obsess about sex, bareback without disclosing their status, frequent sex clubs, spend a ton of time on hook-up websites, cheat on their boyfriends and simply cannot keep it in control. And they act like it’s no big deal that they wreak havoc on so many levels.

      It’s not fair, it’s abusive and ultimately extremely detrimental to the gay male community. Of course, not all poz guys behave like that but the ones that do are directly responsible to a degree for the spread of HIV. If I sound like I stress about it too much, that is because I have met them myself in bars and nightclubs in LA, Miami, San Francisco, New York, Provincetown etc. I am not conservative but I did grow up in the gay community so please Dan & Co. do not try to tell me what gay guys are like when they want sex. I know it all to well and unless you are conservative, you do too.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 11:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonitshitsky
      Scott Bonitshitsky

      @Almanza: “That does not negate that there are some very destructive guys out there that think nothing of having unsafe sex with many different partners and these very people tend to be the guys who obsess about sex, bareback without disclosing their status, frequent sex clubs, spend a ton of time on hook-up websites, cheat on their boyfriends and simply cannot keep it in control”

      Oh, I KNOW. Just the other day, some filthy, disease ridden WHORE was talking to me on screwmewithoutacondom.com, and I was *S*h*O*c*K*e*D* to learn that his biohazard tramp stamp meant he is HIV! I couldn’t stop THROWING UP with disgust! HOW could ANYONE lie to me? How could he bareback me without DISCLOSING? Doesn’t he care about the GAY COMMUNITY? How was I supposed to know??? These are EXACTLY the types of men who are responsible for SPREADING this TERRIBLE DISEASE! If I don’t want HIV, then positive sluts shouldn’t be riding my five inches without me wearing a condom!

      Our POOR GAY COMMUNITY is being VICTIMIZED by these ABUSIVE SEX ADDICTS! If a man can’t get shitty with a total stranger in a seedy Miami leather bar without being endangered by some VILE, DISEASE RIDDEN WHORE, then we need LAWS! TO PROTECT our PRECIOUS GAY YOUTH!. Because IT GETS BETTER ™.

      Because SAFESEX(tm) is HARD!

      Jan 8, 2012 at 2:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonitshitshitsky
      Scott Bonitshitshitsky

      Also, the MACACAS, and WETBACKS are trying to STEAL our PRECIOUS GAY YOUTH to use as ANCHOR BABIES for their insane christian CULTS! Then, they victimize them with BULLYING! Which is EXACTLY why we need to petitition for JUSTICE on YOUTUBE and FACEBOOK, to educate people about how we’re VICTIMS! I will call my campaign Inverts Demanding Inroads Of Truth!

      somethingsomethingsomething NOH8 ™

      Jan 8, 2012 at 2:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Almanzo
      Almanzo

      Scott, I don’t think I could have said it better myself! You’d better get IDIOT started as soon as possible, so that we can have our voices heard. Far too often, our words are twisted by bad actors. My sentiments are best expressed by the song “Papa Don’t Preach”, by the undead Madonna.

      “Papa Don’t Preach”

      Papa I know you’re going to be upset
      ‘Cause I was always your little girl
      But you should know by now
      I’m not a baby

      You always taught me right from wrong
      I need your help, daddy please be strong
      I may be young at heart
      But I know what I’m saying

      The one you warned me all about
      The one you said I could do without
      We’re in an awful mess, and I don’t mean maybe – please

      [Chorus:]

      Papa don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep
      Papa don’t preach, I’ve been losing sleep
      But I made up my mind, I’m keeping my baby, oh
      I’m gonna keep my baby, mmm…

      He says that he’s going to marry me
      We can raise a little family
      Maybe we’ll be all right
      It’s a sacrifice

      But my friends keep telling me to give it up
      Saying I’m too young, I ought to live it up
      What I need right now is some good advice, please

      [chorus]

      Daddy, daddy if you could only see
      Just how good he’s been treating me
      You’d give us your blessing right now
      ‘Cause we are in love, we are in love, so please

      [chorus]

      Papa don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep
      Papa don’t preach, I’ve been losing sleep
      [repeat]

      Oh, I’m gonna keep my baby, ooh
      Don’t you stop loving me daddy
      I know, I’m keeping my baby

      Jan 8, 2012 at 10:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      >@ the REAL Almanza. Notice how much fun these imposters are having?
      Of course they would like to make US out as imbeciles, when in fact it’s called
      “mirroring” and they bring it up from inside of their own fears about their
      [bad] decisions from the past. They find it hard to live with themselves so they
      [try] to brings others down to their level. Thank YOU GOD for keeping us safe and productive towards the REAL human race. It’s truly sad. I tell you kids now-a-days…
      You and I know who they really are.
      The REAL SB

      Jan 8, 2012 at 10:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      I didn’t write the above satirical posts (Queerty can check the IP addresses), although I think they’re pretty funny and the humorless, hateful, somewhat deranged subjects (especially “Dr.” Scott) certainly deserve some witty zinging. But to get re-focused here:

      “I just find it so irritating that some random guy…” Almanza, ponder that a minute. What are your qualifications and credentials for pontificating on this issue? —

      a) You’ve been active in HIV education groups for many years;
      b) You’ve been in a relationship for several years.
      … and… and… that’s it.

      Everyone who is objecting to your points has the exact same background.

      You are just some “random guy” also! Where did all your pomposity and sense of entitlement come from?

      “Dan & Co. do not try to tell me what gay guys are like when they want sex. I know it all to well…”

      I agree with you there! That’s why your approach is so impractical. It’s not going to work. So isn’t it easier to focus on condoms instead of, as I’ve said, revamping all of gay life to look like YOUR relationship? You’re not even obsessed with relationships, you’re not even obsessed with HIV, you’re not even obsessed with monogamy, you’re obsessed with barebacking ITSELF. You reject tens of thousands of gay relationships (existing and potential) that don’t fit your barebacking paradigm. You reject the notion that any “gay youth” could find a perfectly satisfying relationship that does not include barebacking. That’s a very weird obsession, and one that a “random guy” like you should consider simply discussing with a therapist rather than trying to inflict your idiosyncratic views on “gay culture.”

      I believe your approach will CAUSE some HIV infections – certain young guys who think they’re in a “relationship” after two weeks and start barebacking and both get infected instead of just one. (as in, “…do not try to tell me what gay guys are like when they want sex. I know it all to well…”)

      But mostly I’m trying to dissuade you from wasting your time with that approach. (Also at this point, I’m just having a little fun educating whoever is left reading this, as I suppose is the satirist.)

      Jan 8, 2012 at 11:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @bruce: “Bareback sex is completely natural and healthy. It won’t give you HIV or anything else if you are both healthy. The act itself doesn’t invent pathogens, bacterial or viral. I would encourage healthy people to have bareback sex with each other if that is what you wish. Don’t let the anti-bareback crowd discourage you.”

      You say “healthy” – you need to keep in mind that not everyone who looks “healthy,” or claims to be HIV-negative, or honestly believes he is but hasn’t been tested recently, is really HIV-negative.

      Then you need to believe that the other guy is never gonna fuck around on the side. That’s a big risk and I’m not saying it’s impossible, or never worth trying, but of course a lot of guys do fuck around on the side and you have to know each other REALLY well in order to be pretty sure it won’t happen.

      I am not against barebacking but you need to get tested and wait awhile to begin barebacking safely.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 11:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      Bruce’s post #155 is a great example of why Almanza’s approach is so potentially dangerous, and will undoubtedly CAUSE more HIV infections than it prevents.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 11:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #2 using similar name]

      @the other Greg: Sometimes, satire says things better than a meticulous rebuttal. In this instance, satire illustrated how outrageous it is that “Almanza” would be angry that poz gay men are frequenting sex clubs and barebacking without “disclosure”, without acknowledging the reality that “it takes two to tango”, or the truth that any negative gay man who would bareback a stranger is guilty of willful ignorance. His post perfectly illustrates how we’ve shifted the burden of prevention to people that are already poz, a prevention tactic that is politically popular, but unfair and wildly illogical. Disclosure is a messy subject, and a lot of people are loathe to engage it. There is good reason for this; there are typically two poles to the disclosure arguement, and they are both batshit insane.

      The first places the burden of protection entirely on the person trying to remain negative. This viewpoint all but endorses “typhoid marys”, and finds itself blaming people who are infected by cheaters or long term relations where one party lies about their HIV status. It denies the reality that some in the HIV community are in fact victims at all. It expects straight people to use condoms with the rigor that gay men should, which in light of the seroprevalence rate in most straight populations is a lot like asking pedestrians to walk around wearing helmets in the event that blue ice might fall from the sky. Taken to its natural conclusion, this viewpoint negates the complexity of how this irus is transmitted, and is best expressed by the recent views of Ron Paul, who states “people with AIDS are victims of their own bad decisions”. I’ve witnessed more than a few people with HIV use this view as ammunition to further disregard their own health needs, saying things like “well, my doctor is an idiot who is going to kill me, but I should have thought of that before I chose to have unprotected sex”. Although this view is most commonly expressed in the poz community, it should not be confused as healthy or validating towards people with HIV. When Larry Kramer said “I don’t know how anyone tests positive these days”, it showed how deeply rooted serophobia is within the ranks of people with HIV, especially those who consider themselves members of the establishment.

      The other pole is equally absurd. It places the burden of prevention entirely on people who have HIV. It endorses disclosure laws, despite the obvious-and awkward-truth that these are the people who have the least to gain from prevention. In demanding these, this pole creates a faulty prevention mechanism as it compels the rationalization of “DDF UB2″, an internet shortand which could just as easily stand for “Dumb, Dying, F****t” as it stands for “drug and disease free”. Under this ridiculous paradigm, we actually see people on barebacking websites say things like “HIV- and I plan to stay that way”. It ignores the fact that any gay man who intentionally barebacks with strangers-or parters who are not very long term-is nothing short of willfully ignorant of the risk he as taking. This view breathes stupidity, as it presumes that HIV is something other than an infectious disease which people WILL get with a handful of excuses. It makes excuses for the growing numbers of gay men who think that they turn themselves into something other than targets when they insult the very people whose honesty they rely on for their continued protection.

      The truth about HIV and the burden of prevention lies somewhere in the middle-disclosure is an area where situational ethics should be applied. It is a view that is increasingly adopted by public health officials, if ignored by the general public, poz and neg alike; some people with HIV are monsters who should be locked up for everyone’s safety. Some people, especially gay men who engage in casual unprotected sex with strangers, or choose “intimacy” with their “boyfriends” of two weeks, are asking for it, and should laughed at when they test positive. It is a pragmatic view, and if adopted it is fair and effective way to slow transmissions, but it validates almost no one’s preferences for how this disease should be treated, and so it is achieved through the back-office decisions of technocrats and bureaucrats more than the public pontifications of politicians and activists. It recognizes the reality that HIV is a highly prevalent virus within the gay community that we’ve all heard about and are able to protect ourselves from, but it also recognizes that it is sometimes unrealistic to ask people to protect themselves.

      What I find infuriating about Almanza/Dr. Scott is that he seems to adopt a line that is the opposite of any of these views. Instead of demanding everyone wear condoms and telling Typhoid Mary’s victims to Piss Off, or admitting that many people with HIV are sometimes victims of Typhoid Mary and deserve help and respect, he uses language which labels us whores and idiots in some contexts, then tells us we have a duty to protect others from what he would describe as “our bad decisions”. This is an unfair irrational viewpoint, where the only consistency seems to be an attack on people with the virus. Equally problematic is that it validates the growing sense of willfull ignorance in the gay community, which has been statistically linked to a rise in infections. This is the essence of serophobia, and it is also a leading reason why people are increasingly testing positive. Once again, Queerty kills.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 1:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      “The only completely effective means of not communicating HIV from the infected partner to the uninfected partner has been total abstinence—avoiding all sexual contact. While for some couples this has been an effective means of countering the risk, for many others, their desire to participate in sexual activity with each other has made it difficult to avoid the risk.”

      http://www.atcmag.com/v6n1/article5.asp

      This applies to ALL seroDIScordant couples. NOT just gay ppl.

      I’ll take the advice of my colleagues and stay away from any charlatans on any website B4
      I’d listen to them. Seek out the TRUTH and you will be/stay safe.

      HIV/AIDS is mutating rapidly due to the overuse of current medications. Just as antibiotics are. You can only keep up with inhibiting the strain(s) until a new form mutates into being. That said, lots of ppl think that even IF they get it, “it” can be controlled via meds. That FACT in itself is misleading due to the meds getting weaker to perform their duties. EVERYONE with HIV will either die from something else (a givin) ~or~
      progress to a faster degeneration of their immune system B4 science can keep up. Remember Rock Hudson? I saw practially 80% of the ppl I knew in the 80’s succumb to this horrible disease. And you know what? They knew something was going around but did not care. They wanted to whip it out and live for the moment, not the future. A moment of satisfaction can render a mans body for ever. Anyone out there reading this, think TWICE B4 allowing the exchange of any bodily fluids. For YOUR future please if not your families!…

      SB

      Jan 8, 2012 at 10:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dan
      Dan [Different person #2 using similar name]

      You do realize that information is twelve years old, and taken from a “christian owned research and publishing company”, right? The more I read from you, the more I’m convinced you’re like some Andy Kauffman troll. Money quote…

      “At the Center is produced by Right Ideas, Inc., a Christian-owned research and publishing company in Fleetwood, PA”

      Even this publication had to concede…

      “The findings of the study show that people with a viral load of less than 1,500 copies per milliliter seemed never to transmit HIV to their partners.”

      Ergo, an effectively treated pozzie is LESS infectious than the agregate of gay men who think they’re “clean”, 10 percent of whom are actually infected. This finding was reiterated with the famous “swiss statement” and again with HTPN 052-more recent western studies that anyone can google. These are also more reliable than whatever voodoo magazine you’re quoting from.

      Treatment failure is increasingly rare, and not the result of “overuse”, so much as the result of misuse. Some real doctors (not you) and real researchers (again not you) are increasingly saying that with modern regimes, treatment failure will be a thing of the past. Again, queerty kills. The convergent medical opinion is increasingly pointing to earlier and earlier treatment for both the preservation of people with HIV and the protection of those without. Talking about “overuse” might scare a newly diagnosed person from the treatment they need to be taking to save thei life and protect others.

      The “antibiotic” analogy you’ve used isn’t even applicable, as HIV is increasingly understood to function on a mathematical rather than biological level. The meds don’t get “weaker” with use, they either work or they don’t work, and for pretty much everyone who starts on a modern (manageable) regime which is initiated with a resistance test, they work.

      Obviously, everyone should keep wearing condoms as a failsafe and to protect against other STDs, but you’re just scaring people for no reason.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 2:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      If I scare only one person to think twice, it’s worth saving someone’s soul and life. Ppl don’t need to live with such a horrible disease when they think about repercussions…sb

      Jan 9, 2012 at 8:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      @scott bonzitski: you don’t scare people with lies, bitch.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      0:-)

      Jan 9, 2012 at 11:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Some Random Guy
      Some Random Guy

      To the “REAL” “Scott Bonzitski”:

      Guess how many people named Bonzitski live in the United States, according to Intelius.com and every major people-search website?

      NONE! … Not one person named Bonzitski in the entire U.S. So it seems for some reason you have no paternal relatives, or they’re all in Poland (true, you’re barely literate in English, but you don’t write like a Polish immigrant), or you are using a totally FAKE name.

      Of course hardly anyone here uses a surname, Queerty comments can be anonymous or pseudonymous, and that would be fine IF you were doing that.

      But what is the significance of your fake name when people have already questioned your professional credentials (not to mention, your sanity)? if someone implies his real name and credential is “Scott Bonitzski Ph.D.,” and gives a list of phony university and hospital references to go along WITH that phony name, that’s essentially a phony resume’. What con are you trying to pull?

      Jan 9, 2012 at 12:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott bonzitski
      scott bonzitski

      Yep, just checked my passport. Who stated I reside in the US? Just because I studied there does not conclude so. Plus, anyone can be anonymous online. Just because you can’t locate me does not make me fake nor unreal. SB PhD

      Jan 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Some Random Guy
      Some Random Guy

      It adds more suspicion to your story which already has more holes in it than swiss cheese. So you didn’t grow up in the U.S. and you have NO paternal relatives here, even very distant ones? Even if you really went to college in Wisconsin for an irrelevant (to this subject) degree, it’s all quite odd. If you weren’t so totally ignorant about the subject we’re discussing, it wouldn’t matter.

      Also:

      Guess what “Dr.” Laura Schlessinger, the homophobic radio host who gives psychological advice and writes psychological books implying her degree is a psychological or psychiatric one, has in common with “Scott Bonzitski”? (besides being crazy, I mean).

      Their Ph.D.’s are both in physiology!

      (That is, if one believes “Scott Bonzitski” has a real Ph.D.)

      Yes, a degree in physiology somehow “qualifies” one to pontificate on all kinds of complex supposed “moral dilemmas” one knows nothing about!

      And does anyone else here suspect that Almanza’s main interest in these innocent, pure, wholesome, yummy “gay youth” is to periodically get a “clean” one to take home, for him and his boyfriend to fuck bareback? (And I’ll bet anything, tie up?) And then it doesn’t count against “monogamy” because the kid is still “clean” so it doesn’t matter?

      The kid probably flees in terror and exhaustion from all the lecturing ($100 bill in hand)… and eventually falls in love with some really nice poz guy and has a happy, safe monogamous loving relationship!

      Jan 9, 2012 at 1:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski [Different person #4 using similar name]

      OK games over……………u kaught us. were just a buncha girlz from va who luvz 2 mess with you gay guys just for fun thanks for the good time now it is t ime for us 2 move on 2 nother blog. diss has ben fUn!!! we can’t say we’ll miss you thou’…Jeannie Lyndsy Teeder & Myraie – know hard feelings K? 0:-)

      Jan 9, 2012 at 6:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mike
      mike

      The bareback sex act is completely healthy so long as both partners are healthy. There is nothing inherently wrong with it nor is there anything inherently risky about it.

      However, as with many things, context is important. If your sex life consists of promiscuous sex with strangers, of course you should have safe sex in order to reduce the risk of catching something. Syphilis, gonorrhea etc are all transmissible, the latter by oral sex alone.

      Therefore, it all comes back to you as an individual and the lifestyle choice you choose to pursue. Monogamy and health means that you can have as much bareback sex as you like. Promiscuity and a lack of personal care means that having bareback sex poses a risk factor.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 7:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @mike: There’s a tremendous amount of ground between “promiscuity” and “monogamy”! It’s not just a matter of promiscuity, since lots of HIV-negative guys are infected by their boyfriends who lie about being negative, or haven’t been tested recently enough to know their positive status.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 7:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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