United States of Queerty: Virginia
We here at Queerty are big fans of the United States, the nation that bore us, Celebrity Jeopardy, the hamburger and that whole representative democracy thing. It’s a nation rich in natural resources, can-do attitude and homosexuals, and each week, we’re visiting a new state to find out just what makes it so uniquely fabulous.
Virginia
Old Dominion, New Attitudes
Birthplace to eight Presidents, former capitol of the Confederacy, home of high-tech industry and tobacco farms, Virginia is for lovers of history and contradiction. One person will tell you that Virginia is a deeply conservative, religious and agrarian state and another will say it’s socially liberal, ethnically diverse that’s home to many of the Internet’s most successful companies– and both would be right. Despite all this diversity, Virginia lags far behind its neighbors to the north when it comes to gay rights, a situation Virginia LGBT activists are working to change.
The Fight For Your Rights
- When it comes to marriage for gays and lesbians, Virginia ranks one of the worst states in the nation, with constitutional amendments banning not only same-sex marriage, but civil unions, domestic partnerships and out-of-state marriages and unions as well. There are currently no plans on the horizon to change any of these measures, though Equality Virginia advocates for their change by asking LGBT people to write their representatives.
- Virginia law also prohibits so called second-partner adoptions, meaning that while a single LGBT person is legally able to adopt, their partner gets no parental rights.
- On the issue of health insurance, there’s been some recent movement. In 2005, Gov. Mark Warner signed into law a measure allowing companies to voluntarily offer health benefits to members living in the same household as the employee, however the state offers no such benefits for its own employees.
Local Hotspot
Barcode
6 East Grace Street
Richmond, VA
804/ 648.2040
A liberal oasis, Richmond is the friendliest area outside of the D.C. area for LGBT folks and nowhere’s more friendly than Barcode, which does triple duty as a restaurant, bar and pool hall. A recently opened patio section lets patrons enjoy the cool Virginia nights and a weekly karaoke night is hugely popular with the locals.
Model Citizen
Virginia native Michael Jarrell is an 18-year-old college freshman who works at a local grocery store in his hometown of Sterling, a rural suburb of D.C. He’s a big fan of American Idol‘s Adam Lambert.
What’s the best part about living in Virginia?
The best part about living in Virginia is that Washington D.C. is so close and that’s kind of the center of the country when it comes to all things political. I’m kind of a politics nerd. I’ve been paying attention since I was 10 years old. It just makes me feel like I live in a prominent area that’s pretty important. Everyone around me, all the adults work for the government. Stuff like that.
I went to the Inauguration, which was really awesome. It was crazy. I had to sleep in my car, because I wanted to get a parking spot and it was like twenty degrees. It was really freezing and I couldn’t sleep. It was great– so many people.
What’s the biggest problem facing gays and lesbians in Virginia?
I think the biggest problem in my area is homophobia. I live about an hour away from the city and in Virginia, that means farms and bigots. I’m not trying to be stereotypical about people who own farms, but a lot of them haven’t met any gay people or lesbians and they’re homophobic. I usually try to steer clear of those kind of people and go into the city for social aspects.
Virginia’s a recently blue state– do you see it becoming more progressive?
In certain areas. The places that are surrounding Washington D.C. have changed, the places that aren’t around D.C. and a little further south and west have not. I don’t think they’ve changed that much. I’m kind of on the border between the ones that have changed and the ones that haven’t. I know a lot of people– most people I surround myself with–absolutely accept it. Those that don’t, I don’t surround myself with, but I think it is changing, yeah.
Describe your average Virginia gay.
Virginia is really diverse. You have places that are in the city and those that aren’t. I guess the ones that are close to the city are your typical gay guy: The go out to parties all the time, goes to clubs, has a good time. And the ones who are further away from the city tend to stay at home more often. They don’t really–um– do much.
If there’s one thing a gay person visiting Virginia should do, what is it?
Ah well, crap! What’s that place Thomas Jefferson lived at? Monticello? There’s a lot of historical things around here. There’s a lot of battlefields, there’s a lot of houses that old Presidents have stayed in, because we’re next to D.C. There’s a lot of history here and I think that anywhere that has history is fun to go.
What’s one misconception about the state you’d like to clear up?
We’re not all Southern. You know, your typical tractor people– We’re not all like that. I mean, I see it. It is a Southern state. We’re still really big on growing tobacco and farming it and we have a lot of animals around here. You know, I think that of Virginia, even, except for my little corner next to D.C. I venture out of it and I’m like “Whoah, this is really different”.
Eight down, forty-two to go. Each week until we’re done, Queerty will be traveling to a new state and meeting the gays. We love featuring our readers, so if you think you’re Model Citizen material, shoot us an email at holla@queerty.com. We’d love to hear from you.
Long ago I decided I would not spend one gay cent in Virginia. It remains a hate filled “christian” state. If you are not a cheap beer swilling nascar watching, black, asian, hispanic hating redneck you do not fit in. It is a shame the north insisted on unity over a hundred years ago. On second thought, let the whole south and my state of Indiana leave the union. The education level in this country would double
@Michael White: Southern virginia and northern virginia are black and white different. I grew up in northern virginia (most people who work for the CIA, FBI, Pentagon etc. eithr live in northern va. or md) I went to a high school with PFLAG and went to school with opening gay students. Many northern va. residents wish we could break up the state and not be associated with southern virginia. Northern virginia in comparison to southern va. largely weathy, far better educated with vastly better school systems it is essentially just a suburb of DC and the people there are fairly sophisticated. Please don’t judge all va. by the hicks and bigots in the southern part of the state.
I live in Sterling too!
If you are not a cheap beer swilling nascar watching, black, asian, hispanic hating redneck you do not fit in.
False. Geographic stereotype FAIL.
I have lived in Virginia, both Northern and Southern, for over 20 years and can’t disagree with any of the comments given here. What I can say is that things here in Southwestern Virginia are slowly but steadily beginning to change. We’re smack in the middle of Virginia Tech and UVA, which brings a steady stream of young people and fresh ideas to the area. Many students choose to stay in the region after graduation.
Southern Virginia offers beautiful countryside and a cost of living that is about a third of that in Northern Virginia. My partner and I have been together for over nine years and live in Floyd County, just outside Roanoke.
When seven gay people were shot by insane gunman Ronald Gay at the Backstreet Cafe in Roanoke, the city turned out en masse to show support for the gay community. Sadly, no real effort was made to build on that support and the incident has been largely forgotten by most people.
On a one to one basis, the people are surprisingly tolerant and friendly, but unfortunately, they still vote the way the preachers tell them to.
We’re making baby steps, but steps in the right direction none the less.
I echo the sentiments that Virginia is not the traditional south anymore. I came to this state as a kid when my dad was transfered here in the military. Norfolk, Va Beach, Suffolk and Chesapeake have become increasingly diverse with military family and folk.
And, although Chesapeake isn’t so much the icon of southernness, it has become upper middle class Christian suburbia… which you could consider worse.
One thing gay VA residents realize is that we’ve ended up somehow in one of the most backwards states in the union when it comes to gay rights. We also know that if things are “left up to the states” to decide gay rights, they will never be granted to the GLBT community.
I moved to Virginia to attend The College of William and Mary from Arkansas and its a great state. I’m more familiar with the fairly liberal Hampton Roads area and the liberal Northern Virginia. I love this state.
Brain washed…. On a one to one basis, the people are surprisingly tolerant and friendly, but unfortunately, they still vote the way the preachers tell them to.
It’s also interesting to note that Virginia is where the case “Loving vs. Virginia” took place in 1967. The case that ultimately ended up in the supreme court where the ruling ended all race-based legal restrictions on marriage in the U.S.
Virginia is for lovers. Just not historically interracial or same-sex couples.
Brain washed…. On a one to one basis, the people are surprisingly tolerant and friendly, but unfortunately, they still vote the way the preachers tell them to.
Oh, is that how Obama won the state?
@HerrDoktor: Obama did win Virginia, but closely, and the blue votes were in the DC area and Charlottesville, a fairly urbane place with a huge university community. These data pretty much reflect what several posters have suggested — there are two Virginias, politically, and religious influence is very significant. City + education = blue; country – education = red.
I think/hope there’s hope for Virginia, in terms of growing liberality — it’s my native state, and I plan to return for my final years, for a number of reasons. My goal is 2012, so I can put up a big Obama yard sign. I’d love to work on equality and see a real change in my time, electing progressive officials, maybe even getting those awful constitutional amendments overturned
Earlier posters are right — face to face, lots of civility, but privately, it’s often a different matter. Glad to hear that some of you like living in “the Old Dominion,” even as far south as Roanoke. I’m looking at Lexington.
Obama did win Virginia, but closely, and the blue votes were in the DC area and Charlottesville, a fairly urbane place with a huge university community. These data pretty much reflect what several posters have suggested — there are two Virginias, politically, and religious influence is very significant. City + education = blue; country – education = red.
My issue is not with people who recognize that there are “two Virginias,” but with those who assume there is only one, and that it is “hate-filled” and “redneck.” One wonders if they have even been to Virginia, which is becoming increasingly diverse.
Moreover, it was not just the metro-DC and Charlottesville areas that voted blue; Montgomery County (home of VA Tech), Roanoke, Richmond and neighboring counties, and various counties in the southeast also went for Obama.
I never thought I would be the one to defend Virginia, but it’s a blue state (at least for the time being) and the voters who helped to turn it blue deserve some recognition: the one-time capital of the Confederacy voted to elect an African American as their president!
Yeah, areas like Fairfax County are just your typical wealthy, materialistic, supposedly-conservative-but-not-with-any-degree-of-consistency-beyond-checkbook-matters suburbs. Like most upper-middle suburbs in SoCal, from what I’ve observed.
@homoDM: Thanks for jogging me, I just looked at WaPo’s ’08 electoral outcomes map which does indeed show Montgomery County, but not Roanoke (McCain 60%), as blue. Ditto Richmond and surrounding counties, and others in the tidewater-southeast. Regrettably, no counties south and west of Roanoke are blue. Individual towns, perhaps? We have no quarrel, the bluer the better, as far as I’m concerned, and simply that Virginia is moving in that direction, rather than the other, is most encouraging.