As the ban on amyl nitrite (a.k.a. poppers) continues to dominate the British news cycle, one homophobic journalist has decided to insert his opinion into the matter, even though nobody asked him for it.
Related: U.K. Bans The Sale Of Poppers, “Legal High” Seekers Look Elsewhere
Rod Liddle, associate editor of The Spectator, just penned an op-ed claiming that poppers and lube are “God’s way of telling you that…[gay sex] is unnatural and perverse.”
Because, as well all know, personal lubricant is used exclusively by gay men, and straight couples never engage in anal intercourse ever.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Liddle’s op-ed is titled “Did we really have to hear all about Crispin Blunt’s sex life?”, referencing a statement the conservative lawmaker made to his colleagues in the House of Commons last week when he proclaimed: “I use poppers. I out myself as a poppers user. And would be directly affected by this legislation. And I was astonished to find that it’s proposed they be banned and, frankly, so were very many gay men!”
Related: Politician Outs Himself As A Poppers User During Debate
“A jar of poppers and a tube of lube are always found in the bedside drawer of a gay man, we are told,” Liddle writes in his op-ed. “I would have thought that the requirement for amyl nitrate to relax the sphincter muscle and lube to accommodate entry was God’s way of telling you that what you’re about to do is unnatural and perverse.”
Either that, he says, or it’s “your body’s way of telling you” not to do it.
“Your call,” he writes. Then he adds: “So eeeeuw.”
The obvious follow-up question for Liddle would be: If anal sex is so unnatural, why did God create lube in the first place? Also, we’d be curious to know what he keeps in his bedside drawer.
If any homos are upset by poppers being banned in the U.K., Liddle says, they can “use a jemmy instead.”
This guy is brimming with brilliant ideas.
Related: Five Hospitalized After Drinking Poppers. That’s Right, Drinking Poppers.
Marky
God gave me the ability to make my own lube. It’s called “spit”.
Bryan Sims
ð???
Harley Phoenix
That’s like saying using antibiotics to get rid of sickness is God’s way of saying DIE!
James Rumsey
Pretty sure lube is also used for vaginal sex
Gothrykke
Associate-Editor Piddler.
Ryan Thomas Murray
spit and shove…lol
rand503
One again, a conservative anti-gay male who just can’t stop thinking about how anal sex works.
Andrew Crump
There is always spit ð??§
Trad Burmawi
Wat
Michael Claypoole
But ask John & Johnson’s the demographics for this product — a LOT of non-homosexuals use it.
Alex Williams
What does God say about using air planes to fly when we weren’t made with wings?
Curtis Stucker
Well, did they at least say what God recommends as an alternative?
James Rumsey
Jesus recommends cocaine… O you meant as in christ. Oops!
Christopher-Aaron Paul Francis Felker
My husband has great spit
Tony Chaplinski
there are going to be some mad husbands when there wife cut them off and some angry wives if the husband only uses spit
Stefano
Some women will be angry too !http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a5489/rise-in-anal-sex-statistics/
James Sigmon
Where do they find this crap
Airon Cameron
I’m all natural. Spit and determination. Works every time
NateOcean
If God had meant for men to get fucked, He would have given them assholes.
William Mc Gregor
What does God say about spit?
Rob Moore
@Marky: Too true. I’ve always wondered why so much money is spent on lube when there is a ready supply of god’s own lube. And, it’s latex friendly.
Josh447
Some women after menopause can’t self lubricate. I guess that’s god telling women “no more sex for you hunnie, yoobe dunn!”
Try telling that to Gloria Steinem.
And how the hell does Liddle think he’s going to continue to slam dunk his head clear up his ass and lick his tonsils without it?
Obviously this is not a very forward thinker. But then when you have buttholes for brains . . .
cabe
I guess Rod Little (or Little Rod) has never seen straight porn produced after the year 2000?
paulbear30
Bullshit article along with bullshit comments.
This is the statement by the loser Crispin Blunt
‘I out myself as a popper user, and would be directly affected by this legislation and I’m astonished to find that it’s proposing to be banned and, frankly, so were many other gay men.’
followed by the statement ACTUALLY made by Rod Liddle:
“I would have thought that the requirement for amyl nitrate to relax the sphincter muscle and lube to accommodate entry was God’s way of telling you that what you’re about to do is unnatural and perverse”.
NOWHERE in that statement does it use the phrase “gay sex”. That is exclusively the doing of the editors on queerty. It is also the same insinuation made by Crispin Blunt. YET, the writers of this article have the audacity to seem offended and/or embarrassed about the conflation of gay with anal sex and lube. You do it to yourselves!! The worst part is want to bring down the whole bunch with you by using the ever tiresome and childish “well look at them, they do it too” nonsense. But where is your evidence? Where are the straight identified people protesting the ban of this idiotic drug? Unbelievable…
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
This is a side issue..from the perspective of a Side–such as the one issuing this vey aside–which is to say it’s not at all a Side’s issue.. hence this Side not taking a side in this issue — I can’t be arsed
DCguy
So then teeth are God’s way if saying that Oral sex is unatural?
Mike Power
I wouldn’t bother too much about Rod Liddle. He’s just a wind-up merchant and I’m sure he thinks this piece is humorous. He can be quite amusing sometimes. He’s obviously having an off day.
Justin S. Bishop
Lube is for pussies.
*GetInThere*
(__ð??__)
Will Mannes
wait isent that stuff origanily made for dry vaginal sex…? no no no
Stefano
@paulbear30: woof woof Atheists! Woof woof Queerty ! Woof woof Gays ! Woof woof Muslims ! Woof woof woof woof woof i hate you all sinners ! Woof woof woof
Allie Pocket
no lube, then my asshole’s saying “ouch ouch!”
Jesse Erickson
So you should be doing it dry then?
1898
“A jar of poppers … are always found in the bedside drawer of a gay man…”
That’s news to me. I’m 36 and I’ve never had poppers in my bedside drawer, nor have I ever even used them.
Lube? Yes, of course. But there’s nothing inherently gay about lube. And I guarantee you that good ol’ Johnson & Johnson didn’t invent KY with gay men in mind. That stuff has been around forever.
1898
p.s. wikipedia says K-Y Jelly was invented in 1904! Apparently it wasn’t available over the counter until 1980. I assume it was available by prescription before that, with plenty of frustrated men asking their physicians for a script so they could get things going with their postmenopausal wives.
Raphael Marquez
I think God putting the male g spot in the anus is proof he wants gay sex to happen.
paulbear30
@Stefano: Do you ever have an intelligent thought? Don’t answer that!
Louie Mars
Actually, using lube for butt sex is God’s way of saying “yes, yes!”
Byron Scott Jones
By that logic, wearing clothing, using tools, anything beyond what our stone age ancestors used is unnatural. Of course, our stone age ancestors didn’t believe in religious fairy tales, so they had that going for them.
Sweetie Pie
I prefer ID Lube
dean089
So when straight guys pork their female partners in the ass (and let’s not pretend that doesn’t happen) they don’t use lube? Ouch! No wonder women don’t like doing that!
scotshot
@dean089:
46% of all women have had anal sex, in 1992 only 16% of all women enjoyed it.
65% of women who have vaginal sex achieve orgasm
81% of women who have oral sex achieve orgasm
94% of women who have anal sex achieve orgasm.
The number of American women who have anal sex tonight outnumber the total number of gays by millions.
It seems women owe gays a big thank you for popularizing anal sex.
scotshot
@paulbear30: Liddle’s article: “Did we really need to hear all about Crispin Blunt’s sex life ?” referenced a statement from Crispin Blunt wherein Blunt stated he used poppers and utilized them during anal sex, is the subject of Liddle’s article. Hence Queerty’s insertion of “gay sex” enclosed by square brackets were used to clarify the meaning of the direct quote from Liddle’s article for Queerty’s readers.
Next time know what you’re speaking about before you attempt to throw shade. Perhaps a good round of anal sex will pound some sense into you.
paulbear30
@scotshot: LMAO!! You HAVE to be joking. There was NOTHING to clarify. The insertion of “gay sex” is a clever tactic to gain sympathy from any gay identifying person over something that may have absolutely nothing with them. If you have any sense, you’d see that you are doing exactly what I previously criticized – conflating gay and anal sex. You need to take responsibility for your own sexual proclivities and stop trying to throw others under the bus with you.
Hussain-TheCanadian
Please people don’t spit on your partner and consider it lube, it isn’t.
Logic is a wonderful tool when talking to fumbling idiots who use faulty logic to make a point – We all have to bath, cut our hair, nails, brush our teeth, clear our ears, apply face and body creams – all of this could be a henderence to what “nature” intended, and an artificial interference to natural body odors and biological results.
Would it not be an interference to our body’s natural progression to do all of the above?
The same could be said about the anus not naturally producing “lube”.
Captain Obvious
So the mind blowing orgasm at the end is also God’s way of telling you “No.”?
martinbakman
When God says ‘No! No!’ straight X-tian people often say ‘Yes Yes’
Ignorant and hypocrites
scotshot
@paulbear30:
It’s apparent you take your cues from Sarah Palin. When wrong double down and make nonsensical comments.
Keep it up we all need a laugh.
paulbear30
@scotshot: When you present a valid reply, it will be my pleasure!
scotshot
@paulbear30:
My reply is valid, you’re still wrong.
So sad you can’t read the op-ed in context as a whole.
smh
greenmusic23f
@James Rumsey: Yes, it is. And masturbation.
paulbear30
@scotshot: What’s sad is that you’re so butt hurt (pun intended) about anal that it’s affecting your comprehension skills. I’ll say it again, there was no need for “clarification” needed. It was an erroneous judgment on the part of the editors to make unnecessary feelings of victimization. The fact is you’re sensitive as hell to criticism of partakers of anal activities, and you want to make it into an issue of “homophobia”, but that crap (no pun intended lol) doesn’t fly with me!!
scotshot
@paulbear30:
Where did you get your degree that you can tell from reading a couple of sentences what my view is on anal sex?
smh
paulbear30
@scotshot: I believe it’s called a school. And trust me, there was no anal “pounding” there.
scotshot
Yes, people generally earn their degrees from an institution of higher learning. I’ll leave you with your anal fixation.