I knew a guy years ago who used to tell a similar story…his roommate used a cucumber in the frig to prepare food for a party. The guy of course had been working himself out with it and had picked this cucumber specifically because it resembled a pole he was trying to conquer. The end of this story is different, this kook actually told people at the end of the party that he enjoyed watching everyone eat his ass.

the look on her face was priceless. thanks for that.