Ventura: Gays In Military Good For Straight Soldiers' Sex Lives
 


A roving gang of reporters cornered Jesse Ventura at the Republican National Convention Ron Paul's Rally For The Republic this week. Panicked, Ventura did what any self-respecting maverick would do: he started blasting big government's perverse fascination with same-sex marriage!

Today, the government tells you who you can fall in love with. You think that's a role for government? To be able to tell you who you who can fall in love with? Well, if you're gay, the government tells you who you can fall in love with. I think that's slightly overstepping the bounds of what our forefathers had in mind… I don't care whether gays get married. It's none of my business. It doesn't effect my marriage.

Ventura, a former wrestler who once served as Minnesota's Governor, went on to explain that he's also got no problem with gays in the military, something the Republican party thinks will lead to a decline in morale and the eventual invasion of America. Ventura's position isn't motivated solely by equality - he's got a solidly inclusive record - but by the need for sexual balance:

I don't care about gays in the military. If they do the job, what do I care for? In fact, I wish there were more! I was single then. And when I got to the Philippines, I'd have more pickings!

Hey! That's flagrant discrimination. If Ventura had his way, the gays would dominate the military, thus leaving a surplus of Filipino ladies for the minority straight men. As a result, the poor gays would have to fight tooth and nail for man-on-man action, thus exponentially decreasing their odds of getting off!

You're a tricky one, Ventura, but we see right through your sick, vaginally-obsessed logic. And we find it oddly alluring.

Comments (26)

No. 1 · josh

i'll be the first to say it…. VENTURA FOR PRESIDENT 2012!!

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:22 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 2 · Dubwise

Wasn't he atuall at the Ron Paul event? He is an independent.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:24 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 3 · rangerjoe1

He is an independent and is better than almost anyone on all gay issues. Go Jesse! You have to admire a man that can actually tell the truth and wear a pink feather boa to his inauguration.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 4 · andrew

The YouTube video's tagged "RNC."

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:29 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 5 · CitizenGeek

Nicely put, Mr. Ventura!

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:34 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 6 · Dubwise

the tag is WRONG.

In a surprise video announcement Ron Paul revealed that former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura will attend the Rally for the Republic on September 2, 2008.

I googled "Jesse Ventura at Ron Paul event" and it was listed in at least the first five entries.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:41 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 7 · George

Always been one of my favorite politicians. Come back Jesse!

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 4:41 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 8 · Dubwise

Thanks for fixing hat. I didn't want anyone attending the RNC to get credit for that sorta clear thinking.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 5:06 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 9 · Dubwise

Darn typing skills! hat=that!

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 5:10 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 10 · M Shane

That's the sort of reasoning that got Ventura elected inn Minnesota. Mostly kids elected him because he wanted to legalize prostitution and weed. No accounting for the right wing economics.
Actually, if there were more gay guys in the militaryand open, the straight guys might want a spare blowjob now and again. His reasoning is ok too. The gay guys would be able to find the philipino boys..
Her's just a very free spirit about some things.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 11 · Darth Paul

I always liked him. His remarks on religion kick total ass.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 5:33 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 12 · Mr. HotMess

<3 it.

xoxo,
mr. hotmess

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 6:16 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 13 · Tom

His ideas are sometimes ok but he is a freak.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 8:33 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 14 · GranDiva

Does anyone think that Mr. Ventura wouldn't avail himself of one of those man-on-man blow-jubs on rarest occasion had there been more gays in the military back in those days?

I'm just sayin'…

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 9:04 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 15 · seitan-on-a-stick

Move to Cali and take down the Guvinator! Now that is a pay-per-view smackdown!

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 9:19 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 16 · Thor

He doesn't have a indoor voice, but yet he is pretty cool. Anyway ya people need to chill and not give such a Jesus shit about gay marriage.

Posted: Sep 5, 2008 at 11:14 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 17 · mark

Ventura was considered a joke when he won MN governor, and as an openly gay Minnesotan, he was much better on LGBT Rights than any of us expected.

Posted: Sep 6, 2008 at 2:45 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 18 · ronnie

re:MARK

The Gov. was no joke…
He was very good for MN on so many levels
and a threat to a great many of the power base in the media and politics.

Posted: Sep 6, 2008 at 3:29 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 19 · mark

Ronnie
If you didn't hear the CONSTANT jokes about MN having an ex wrestler for Governor then you have a very select memory. Jesse was good on LGBT issues, but his governorship wasn't great overall, better than average, but not great.

Posted: Sep 7, 2008 at 2:37 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 20 · AMC

A highly decent man in a profession dominated by snakes. Kudos to you, sir!

Posted: Sep 7, 2008 at 9:22 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 21 · M Shane

Ventura was probably hands down better than the retard they have now-Paulenty. I don't know why those boobs keep electing Rebublican governors. It's the only state that has capital cities which have almost no public transit and massive suburban sprawls which people have to drive to. it 's incsane compared to planned cities.

Posted: Sep 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 22 · John

As far as states go, Minnesota isn't too bad. Despite the lack of public transportation, it has a decent quality of life. And it isn't overrun by the inbred white trash that rule everything from Texas to Florida in the South.

And being a Californian, I can tell you that Sacramento is no prize winning pony either.

In fact, we would move our capital if we could get Greater Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay Area (which between them are home to 3/4th of the state's population) to agree on a new site. But of course, they don't agree on anything.

So, we're stuck with the "great compromise" Cow Town forever and ever and ever.

Posted: Sep 8, 2008 at 1:21 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 23 · mark

As a Minnesotan for 50 years and now transplanted in Louisiana,,,the difference in quality of life and quality of politics in MN is VASTLY SUPERIOR.
If there weren't brutal winters there, I'd move my southern lover up north.

Posted: Sep 8, 2008 at 1:47 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 24 · Wayne

Please visit my Blog about Choices……….Choice is Good® http://www.choiceisgoodtshirts.com

Posted: Sep 14, 2008 at 10:11 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 25 · My name

All I can say is that the GOVERNMENT does NOT tell people who they can fall in love with. This law is legislated by the State, which the MAJORITY votes for. Fall in love with whoever you want, but marriage is a right under God between a man and a woman. Yes, that is right, under God, between a man and woman. Apparently people in this country have no more values. It is trendy to be a disgrace to America, and highly fashionable to be blasphemous. Jesse had ONE thing right, no one gives a damn about people being gay, but they sure as hell DO NOT have the RIGHT to be married. Nowhere else in the WORLD would allow this. This is an unacceptable transgression upon human rights. Talk about a violation of rights, they are violating constitutional and Biblical rights by assuming that they can be legally married. What is next, old ass perverted men marrying little boys. This must stop. Be gay, noone cares, but you can't get married, and if you want to start a new revolution of gay hatred then keep on pushing for a right that is clearly not given to you.
From any standpoint it is absolutely ludacrous to believe that same sex marriage is okay. WAKE UP America!!! This is wrong. Look at the birds and the bees, there ain't no male and male/ female and female species mating. So let bye-gones be bye-gone's, and let's ALL move on to more important issues, such as environmental issues, and the fact that I would like for my childrens children to see beautiful blue skies, crystal clear oceans, and luscious green vegetation, in other words, preservation of the NATURAL world.
-PEACE

Posted: Sep 17, 2008 at 2:19 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 26 · Dubwise

My Name

Yawn.

Posted: Sep 17, 2008 at 8:01 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
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