Proper nail grooming is too frequently overlooked by homosexuals. That it’s also overlooked by heterosexuals is no excuse. Just a few minutes of daily attention can make the difference between your being a suave cosmopolite or a chewed-up, white vertical lines disgrace.

Regularly consuming a balanced diet is fundamental to nail health. Beyond that, a weekly manicure will help keep your hands looking their best. Debate rages over whether cuticles should be trimmed; however you may feel about that question, massaging a good cuticle oil into yours daily will help keep them properly hydrated.

When filing your nails, work from the side to the center, not in a see-saw motion, as see-sawing promotes nail splitting. If your nails are correctly filed, they will not snag when you run them across a pair of pantyhose. For cleaning, you should have a quality nail brush, such as Crabtree and Evelyn’s olive wood model, while for filing you could do worse than 14-karat gold. To the extent possible, moisturize with a nutritive nail cream after washing your hands. Remember, when your relatives gasp and say “Your hands look gay!” tell them you learned everything you know at Queerty.com.