Queerie Olde England

Want Your Gay TV? Look Across the Pond

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Sometimes it seems like things are better in the UK. They’ve got free health care, the drinking age is 18, and their cute accents add a patina of class of everything. And add to that heady mix the fact that their television is much, much gayer than ours.

While for years we’ve had to satiate ourselves on the occasional tossed bone of a very special coming out episode, a chaste kiss here and there, and maybe some bimbo on The O.C. flirting with lesbianism during sweeps, the United Kingdom has plunged into the deep end of gay-inclusive television. And rather than just cordon off a show or two exclusively for the gays, these limey ’mos are integrated into programming in such a natural, matter-of-fact way it would make GLAAD soil its trousers. So join us for the very best of queer TV from this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this gay, gay, gay England.

Torchwood

Spun-off from the long-running iconic sci-fi show Doctor Who, Torchwood is about a team of alien hunters led by Captain Jack Harkness, played by the openly gay John Barrowman. Harkness is sort of an intergalactic, pansexual hornball who will flirt with, kiss, and hump just about anything with a pulse, including his fellow team member Ianto Jones. Just imagine Agent Fox Mulder bumpin’ uglies with Director Skinner on The X-Files, and you’ve got an idea of what Torchwood does week in and week out.

Skins

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Watch some sexy gay Skins action here.

Picture a slightly down-market Gossip Girl that’s slightly more realistic with how much teens like to screw and do drugs and you’ve got Skins in a nutshell. And not only does it include a gay character, Maxxie, who’s just a part of the gang, it also features an extremely hot make-out scene between him and his best mate, Tony, the devious star of the show. Do you think they’d ever let Dan Humphrey lock lips with Eric Van der Woodsen on Gossip Girl? Yeah, me neither.

Any Dream Will Do

A singing competition to fill the titular role in a revival of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Any Dream Will Do features John Barrowman as one of the judges. Unlike on American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, the judges here aren’t constantly telling people to butch it up. And there’s no coy, Lambert-esque coded statements. If the contestant comes across as gay, then they come across as gay. So be it. But what truly makes this program gay-friendly and an instant camp classic is at the end when the losing contestant is stripped of his dreamcoat and sent, one assumes, to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s private dungeon.

Graham Norton

In addition to hosting Any Dream Will Do, Graham Norton also has his own talk show on BBC2, featuring the usual combination of celebrity chat and funny bits with the audience. But the openly gay Norton filters the whole thing through his cheeky, flamboyant personality—Norton has reveled in his sexuality from the very beginning, while it took Ellen five-odd years to bring up Portia de Rossi. Plus, he’s funnier!

Gladiators

While not strictly gay, this show certainly is as camp as you can get without sewing sequins onto the leotards. The British version of American Gladiators, it features the same silly preening, the same thudding sound effects and the same over-the-top games. But while the American version strenuously tries to make it as serious and as macho as possible, the Brits realize this is some goofy-ass shit and do the whole thing tongue planted firmly in cheek. And, as a bonus, whenever these polite UK Gladiators try to talk some trash, it inevitably ends up with them gamely commending their opponents for a job well-done. Good sportsmanship, lads!

—Dixon Trotter Gaines

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