Bullied at school in the 1970s for being “different” Frank Spinelli was signed up for the Boy scouts by his concerned parents. It must have seemed a godsend when kindly Scoutmaster Bill Fox, a cop, took an interest in the boy. Yet this friendship soon became a nightmare for the boy who was mentally and sexually abused by his mentor for two years.
With his gripping and heartrending new memoir, Pee-Shy, Spinelli releases three decades of confusion and self-blame —for himself, and for other boys like him.
2eo
After they systematically eliminates us from the scouts the paedophilia really, really took hold. Why is it nearly always devout christians who are into child molestation?
arj
Queerty….please delete crap like the above posting by Kristi S. Blackburn. It is quite offensive.
Fitz
@2eo: I totally agree. It’s about projection. People like to see in you what they hate about themselves.
Tackle
@arj: Thanks for complaining. And thanks to Queerty for removing this junk. This is getting out of hand. This sh# t , or something like it is posted at every story.
Caleb in SC
Child sexual abuse is horrific. Nonetheless, why did he wait so long to reveal it? A book? Our justice system in the US cannot work if people do not come forward and report it immediately. I understand that things were different in the 1970s, but, after the Catholic abuse scandals, there was no reason not to come forward sooner.
Stache1
@Caleb in SC: Better late then never.
Caleb in SC
@Stache1: Agreed, but I have to take it with a grain of salt.
boxersorbriefs
@ Caleb in SC:
Is it your expectation that a child being sexually abused has the maturity to even understand whats happening to him in all cases?
Do yo think that a child caught in such a situation always assumes he has what it takes to make an explosive accusation of an adult in a position of power and authority in a community?
Surely you do not mean to imply that in this case, the author–as such a child–had the foresight or intention of harboring this secret and its attendant shame for a decade or two in hopes of one day landing a book deal…
Or am I inferring the wrong message from your post?
EvonCook
@2eo: Hardly “nearly always devout christians” since many cases of orthodox jews and lots of moslems too. More likely it is something related to monotheisms.
EvonCook
@Caleb in SC: Well, we really don’t get the whole story or a complete picture. Most researchers agree that the actual sexual experience for the youth is usually the least traumatic element of the whole thing. It is the religious, social and family guilt, outrage, hysteria and condemnation that more often impacts the child far more negatively, sometimes for years afterwards. Lots of kids have sexual experiences, many even go looking for them (I did as a kid), but it is the outside reactions and fanatic disapproval and refusal to admit children can and do have sexual feelings and urges that distorts many such cases.
ChrisInAtl
@Caleb in SC: Caleb, I heard an interview with him this morning on OutQ. He reported it to his parents, the molester was a policeman, his brothers were police officers. They made a deal to have him step down. This book is the journey that Frank took to deal with this…from tracking the man down, to ensuring that he faced justice….and all of the psychological ramifications of the molestation. Sounds like it would be a very good read….
Fr_Defenestrato
Whatever else the particulars of Mr. Spinelli’s situation, the above is an ADVERTISEMENT masquerading as a news article. How does anyone who has not read the book feel qualified to comment? Jeez.
oldbrit
When lgbti people are discriminated against, it creates an atmosphere of shame and hostility which pedophiles use to their advantage to assault kids and keep them quiet.
2eo
@EvonCook: Actually I meant in the sense that the more hardcore a christian the more likely they are to be a paedophile, as in most christian paedophiles are devout of faith.
darkanser
@EvonCook: You make an excellent and not-heard-enough point. I don’t endorse adult-child sexual interactions. Believe it or not, some cultures do/have. This is not directly related but I remember standing in a line at a supermarket behind a mother and something like a 5-year old boy, presumably her son. It was Christmas time and she was talking with another woman when the conversation turned to Santa Claus. I was astounded that this woman — in very ghetto fashion in my view — started to tell the little boy something like “You see any man coming down the chimney, he’s a pedophile!!” I couldn’t believe what I just heard. If I were a relative or close associate, I would have said 1) Have you explained to this boy what a pedophile is? and 2) Why would you defile the childhood concept of Santa Claus with something so gross? Maybe that should have laws penalizing verbal abuse of children too.
EvonCook
@2eo: Yep, I agree, just like the devout jews an moslems. I tell you I believe it has something to do with monotheisms!
chuck
My experiences as a boy scout were horrific. My eagle scout father forced me to join in an effort to make me “man up”. It was a terrible experience of abuse by unsupervised older scouts. The scout masters were away getting drunk at camping trips while the boys played sex games. I developed a crush on my patrol leader who ended up chopping off one of my fingers on a dare. He asked me if I trusted him. Unfortunately I was in love with him. He was 14 and I was ten. I hate the BSA.
plaren
Shouldn’t this be framed as an “Advertisement?”
Teleny
I hate the fact that most of the male pedophiles identify as straight a Sandusky, but somehow the media throws it back on lbgt-mainly gay men.
When I was a kid we had a teacher, “Coach” who felt up girls and boys-he didn’t discriminate. Being a different era, we all laughed and said he was a gross old man. Turns out he died this year and his obit made him seem like a great educator. I pity his poor wife and all of children-including me-that got felt up by “Coach.”
Rusty
I have a friend who is 42 and when he was abused by a man in power in his school, he came out and told, but nobody believed him and the other boys who were abused refused to tell and my friend was put in a psych ward and given medication and still suffers…The man went free. I think the school made a deal with him. Four other friends between 1965 and 1972 were abused, they’ve all passed away but their lives took a turn for the worse in their late teens and twenties. I’m glad this man survived and some of you need to read “Running with Sizzors” Men need to come out even if it’s years later and write about it and tell whoever wants to listen.
murphy0071
@Teleny: Among predatory sexual deviates, irrespective of the sex of the victim, heterosexuals predominate; thus, children are unlikely to be molested by identifiably gay or lesbian individuals. Using questionable data regarding numbers of homosexuals in the general population, Freund and Watson, while indicating, “the resulting proportion of true pedophiles among persons with a homosexual erotic development is greater than that in persons who develop heterosexually.” .go on to say, “This of course, would not indicate that androphilic [homosexual] males have a greater propensity to offend against children.”104
Since the undeveloped genitalia of pre-pubescent children are ambiguous, if not somewhat female in sexual appearance, male heterosexual pedophiles, most of whom are sexually immature and inadequate in terms of adult relationships, seek out pre-pubescent children. These predatory male heterosexuals, unlike ghettoized Gays, have easy access to children of either sex. “The typical heterosexual molester of male children, . . . appeared masculine and robust. However, he was religious, moralistic, guilt-ridden, and lonely . . . able to feel in control of a sexual situation only with children.”105 Heterosexuals also predominate as ephebophiles, those sexually attracted to adolescents at or about the time of puberty.
jonjct
when i was 8 or so i used to take judo lessons and was always on the losing team. after the match in the locker room the winning team leader (16 or 17 years old) would humiliate me by grabbing my head and pushing it into his jock-strapped crotch. everybody would laugh. this happened just three times but i remember every one of them … in slow motion.
Kangol
@oldbrit:
This has definitely been part of the problem with the Roman Catholic Church’s child sexual abuse scandals. The Church repeatedly demonizes gay men, without directly addressing the problem of pedophilia and its enabling of pedophiles to prey upon children and teenagers. The media then compound the problem by not taking the Church to task or disentangling sexual orientation, gay adult consenting behavior, and the pedophiles, who prey on girls and boys, and adolescents of both sexists, with the complicity and protection of the Church hierarchy.