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  MORNING GOODS

WATCH: Andrew Christian’s Ho-Ho-Hoes Celebrate The Night Before Xmas

Leave it to Andrew Christian to slut up “The Night Before Christmas” and of course Santa’s not the only one going down a chimney. Here’s the beloved tale as transported to West Hollywood:

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through WeHo, not a creature was stirring. The patrons were lined by the bar looking sad. Left lonely on Christmas, who wouldn’t be mad? When the front door swung open and made such a clatter, and arrived the police to see what was the matter. But these cops weren’t friendly, and looking to fight. Who would save these poor people from their hopeless plight?

When suddenly who, in a blink, should appear? But some magical beings wearing AC gear. Hunky Santas had come to save Christmas that night, and make sure their shindig was started just right. With a sprinkle of dust, off came all the cops clothes, and turned all the officers to ho-ho-hoes. Then Fubar was filled with the sounds of great joy. Not to mention, of course, a little boy-on-boy. And that was how Andrew Christian helped save the day, by spreading good cheer and making the yuletide…gay!

They spoke not a word, but went straight to twerk/ And filled all their undies with a series of jerks/ And laying his crotch on the side of his nose/ And giving a nod, down his legs he goes/ But I heard him exclaim, muffled through tights/ “Merry Christmas y’all hoes, I’m gettin’ mines tonight!”

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Dec 19, 2013
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 18 Comments
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      That was fun…A real stocking stuffer…

      Dec 19, 2013 at 10:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Black Pegasus
      Black Pegasus

      Not one BLACK Man featured.. Typical of this company.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      An underwear post, how unexpected, must be nothing going on today that has the slightest connection to Tom Daley.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      @Black Pegasus: The guy wearing the red long johns, Santa hat and the oversized gold HOHOHO chain/necklace looked pretty black to me, then again I was looking for Asians and didn’t see any, typical for this company. Then again if they don’t know the difference between mistletoe and holly berries, why bother.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ZaneStuart
      ZaneStuart

      @Black Pegasus: Define BLACK.
      Did you watch the video? Shocking as it might be there were more than just plain white boys in this video.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @Spike: That’s what I love about the gay male,they never fail to be utterly predictable in issues of sex and sex appeal…@Black Pegasus: You mean that black men wear underwear too…? (Tongue in cheek) I had never heard of AC before today…And I certainly would not buy that overpriced crap…I t would have been nice to see some hot black men in there :-)

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @ZaneStuart: Oops, my bad there is one.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      @AuntieChrist: In all fairness, he was the ONLY one and he was wearing the predictable ghetto jewelry and they weren’t pushing out front and center making it apparent that he had the biggest dick in he bunch so he did just kind of blend in.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 12:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2eo
      2eo

      @Black Pegasus: Those BLACK people in the video just weren’t BLACK enough for you?

      I agree though, anything short of 100% BLACK people all the time shows just how evil Queerty is, and how we, the members of this sites comment section are LITERALLY WORSE THAN THE SS AND KKK PUT TOGETHER for literally existing, literally.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 2:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2eo
      2eo

      @Black Pegasus: I like how you think you’re immune to being called r@cist, wait, not like, I think it’s idiotic.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 3:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache1
      Stache1

      @Spike: In all fairness. AuntiChrist was too busy at the time checking out all the underwear and they’re appendages;)

      Dec 19, 2013 at 3:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache1
      Stache1

      @2eo: Wow. Spot on and so “not a over the top” kind of analogy. Exactly, what I was thinking too.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 3:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache1
      Stache1

      Btw. That Fubar is so tiny. If you like rubbing against everyone it’s your kind of place though.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 3:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2eo
      2eo

      @Stache1: There’s art in the subtle jibe, but it lacks the measure of a well timed sledgehammer.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 4:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ariniah724
      ariniah724

      my best friend’s half-sister makes $82/hr on the laptop. She has been without a job for 10 months but last month her pay was $21883 just working on the laptop for a few hours. you could try here….. http://tiny.cc/9c0c8w

      Dec 19, 2013 at 4:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kangol
      Kangol

      @Black Pegasus:

      True, but there was a hot Black santa in the background. Andrew Christian needed to bring him and some other kinds of Santas to the front, though.

      (Hell, the video was full of appropriated black culture (down to the limbo and Soul Train line dancing!)

      But overall, not bad, Andrew Christian. Not bad at all.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 11:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kathy T. Williams
      Kathy T. Williams

      like Steven replied I’m amazed that people able to get paid $6571 in a few weeks on the internet. check this link right here now,… http://bit.do/fCKD

      Dec 20, 2013 at 8:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ahaharryaha
      ahaharryaha

      i love tschaikowsky…

      Dec 21, 2013 at 10:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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