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WATCH: Can’t Say “Penis”? Here’s 51 Church-Friendly Alternatives

Christwire’s Bryan Blake would like to share some Christian friendly synonyms for “penis” so you don’t go around sounding like a filthy liberal. His list is way better than this one, especially since it contains euphemisms such as “DNA Rifle,” “Danish Dizzy Eye” and “Puking Flesh Weasel.” Wow. We normally call ours “Willy Loman.”

By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           Nov 17, 2011
Tagged: , ,

  • 11 Comments
    • ponies!!!!!!!!!
      ponies!!!!!!!!!

      i dunno why but every time he said a different name for a penis, i kept imagining his and by the end of it i decided i wanted him. that is all…

      Nov 17, 2011 at 1:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Johnson
      Johnson

      i love the ‘Colorado Spitting Viper’ along with its hand/arm gesture.

      Nov 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • arbiter
      arbiter

      I don’t know why, but these anatomical euphemisms always get me. There are many hilarious ones for lady parts as well. lol

      Nov 17, 2011 at 3:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tyson Bowers
      Tyson Bowers

      Please don’t rape Mr. Blake with your gay eyes!

      Nov 17, 2011 at 8:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Earl Gunther Smith Jr.
      Earl Gunther Smith Jr.

      @Tyson Bowers: Tyson! I am shocked by this behavior.

      Nov 17, 2011 at 8:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SD_Dave
      SD_Dave

      @Tyson Bowers:

      Too late!

      Nov 17, 2011 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tyson Bowers
      Tyson Bowers

      @SD_Dave that is just gross!

      Nov 17, 2011 at 9:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryan Blake
      Bryan Blake

      I understand gays can’t control their vile urges, but please leave my behind out of it.

      Nov 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • August Weisz
      August Weisz

      Gays scare me.

      Nov 17, 2011 at 10:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tyson Bowers
      Tyson Bowers

      @August Weisz: They scare me August and I’m worried for the safety of Bryan’s sewer hole.

      Nov 18, 2011 at 2:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rolando
      Rolando

      Uh. ChristWire.Org is a parody site. The thing is they’re so good at it that people think it’s real. This list is intentionally funny. And good. I’m gonna use Squirt Dart.

      Nov 19, 2011 at 11:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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