WATCH: Free Flexor – The Latest In “Self-Abusing” Fitness

Move over Shake Weight! There’s a new standard in masturbatory fitness equipment and its name is FREE FLEXOR!!!!!1!

Free Flexor (FOR MEN) is basically a dual-headed dong that you wobble around until your biceps explode. “Once you start getting that momentum swinging,” says one testimonial, “it starts to go deep. You can feel it.”

You might not purchase one of these forty dollar wonders, but at least check out the boy working it at 0:50 and the guy throwing it at your face at 2:07. You’ll feel scared yet oddly aroused—kinda like when we saw these things.